Night Falls (Until Dawn, Book 2)

by J. N. Baker

  “Are you going to leave, Josh?”

  “What?”

  “After everything that’s happened, are you going to take William’s advice and leave?”

  He stared at me with sad eyes, every second of silence passing between us like a dagger to the heart. Maybe that’s what the vision was trying to tell me, that Josh would break my heart by leaving. The rational side of my brain knew better.

  He shook his head finally. “No. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t leave you now. Not after everything we’ve been through together. I meant what I said before, Zoe. I have and always will be here for you. Nothing will ever change that…” his voice trailed off as he looked away from me, staring off into the darkness.

  I knew what he was thinking. I was thinking it too. “Always” and “Josh” didn’t go together. One day, death would take him, as it did everyone else. He couldn’t promise me forever. Hell, he couldn’t even promise me the next five seconds.

  “I’m sorry, Josh,” I whispered.

  “About what?”

  “Tiffany.”

  I didn’t bother breaking the silence that claimed us both. I wasn’t even sure what I was supposed to say next. In my defense, she had been secretly working for Baldric and had tried to kill me. But for some reason, that didn’t make me feel any better. I’d helped kill someone he’d shared his life and, quite possibly, his heart with.

  Just because I didn’t like her and often fantasized about killing her didn’t mean I actually wanted her dead. At least, that’s what I told myself. I was fairly certain it was the truth.

  Josh turned his attention to the stars, or lack thereof. I followed his gaze, peering into the black void above us. Crickets chirped rhythmically from the nearby fields of white, keeping track of the passing seconds. Not that time really mattered anymore. There was night, and there was more night.

  “It’s okay,” he said after a while, his voice tight.

  “Did you,” I paused, looking at him for a split second before letting my eyes fall to my fidgeting fingers. “Did you love her?”

  There was another long pause. “No,” he finally said. “I don’t think I did. But I wanted to, and in time, I might have. I just…I think she was just filling a void in my life, one that’s been there for years. I know that makes me sound like a heartless asshole, but it’s the truth. It doesn’t mean I’m not upset or that I didn’t care about her. I am and I did. I mean, I spent nearly eight months with the woman. She came into my life during a pretty low point. She took care of me, pulled me out of my funk.”

  I opened my mouth to speak but he shook his head.

  “I know what you’re going to say. Her death wasn’t your fault. To tell you the truth, I don’t even blame William. It was her own fault that she ended up the way she did. If she hadn’t been a—” He stopped short, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Well, you know. I guess it would’ve happened sooner or later, right?”

  I didn’t answer. I was pretty sure it was rhetorical. Besides, what good would it have done to tell him that he was right? If Tiffany was working for Baldric, it would have come out eventually and her fate would have been the same. It was only a matter of time. That was probably why she was so desperate to get Josh to leave, so she could take him back to Baldric to do God knew what with him before we figured out what she was.

  “Why do you think he wants me?” Josh asked, as if reading my mind.

  “If I had to guess,” I started, “I’d say he probably wants to use you as leverage, as a way to get to me. He said himself he knew I’d follow you and he was right. I would’ve gone to the ends of the earth to get you back from him if he’d taken you. I still would. But I guess we’ll never know for sure why he wanted you since, you know, Tiffany’s—”

  “Dead.”

  I cringed inwardly. “Yeah.”

  “You must think I’m a fucking idiot for not seeing it. All that time together with her and I honestly thought she loved me. I never once thought that she was a…”

  “Vampire?” I offered. “Don’t feel too bad, I didn’t see it either—none of us did. She was a good actress, or maybe just a shitty vampire. Either way, she fooled us all. I know it probably seemed like she loved you and, hell, maybe in some weird and twisted way she did. But she was just another pawn in the general’s game. Every move she made and every word out of her mouth was to fulfill Baldric’s orders. He wanted you to love her so you’d follow her right into the lion’s den—right into his hands. She was playing you.”

  “Wow,” he said, his hard eyes finding mine. “Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?”

  I mumbled an apology.

  “Outside of the whole lying, manipulative, bloodsucking vampire thing, she wasn’t so bad,” he grumbled. “At least she was there when I needed her.”

  “Yeah, her and her breasts,” I muttered. “You could do better.”

  “What?”

  “Her and her breasts,” I said again, a little louder.

  “No, the second part,” Josh growled. He stared at me with a cocked eyebrow, his jaw tight. “Care to elaborate?”

  I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes and sighed, regretting ever opening my damn mouth. “What? I obviously think you could do better than a fucking bloodsucker. You deserve someone better.”

  “And who is that ‘someone’?” I didn’t like how irritated he sounded, angry even.

  A name flashed in the back of my mind and I quickly forced it away, dropping my eyes from his hard gaze. “I-I don’t know.”

  He let loose an agitated laugh. “Yeah, that’s what I thought you’d say.”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say, Josh.”

  “Nothing,” he snapped. “I don’t want you to say anything, okay? Just, forget it.”

  The silence consumed us until I could take no more. “You’re bleeding,” I finally said, looking up at him to find the trail of blood running down his forearm, soaking through his white thermal shirt.

  “It’s just a scratch,” he said absently.

  I scooted off the flat stone and kneeled beside him, taking his arm in my hands. I carefully lifted his long sleeve and wiped away the blood, searching my pant pockets for something to wrap it with.

  “Zoe, what are you doing?” he asked, pulling his arm away from me.

  “What do you mean, what am I doing?” I said defensively. “What the hell does it look like I’m doing? I’m trying to help you.”

  Josh shook his head. “No. I mean, what are you doing? Why are you trying so hard to protect me?”

  I looked at him as if he’d just asked the dumbest question in a long line of dumb questions.

  Josh softened a little, letting out a breath. “I don’t mean it like that. I know you’d give your life to protect me, just as I’d do for you. I’d do anything for you. You’re my best friend. But,” he hesitated, sucking in a painful breath, “maybe it’s time we learn to let each other go a little. You can’t save me.”

  “Yes, I can,” I blurted out.

  “No,” he whispered, “you can’t.”

  Tears glazed over my eyes, blurring my vision. Already, Josh seemed to be fading. He was getting farther and farther from me.

  “You’re going to lose me eventually. I’m human and I’m going to die. Neither of us has the power to stop that from happening.” Josh paused, running a hand down my cheek where new tears were forming. “That’s my fate, but it isn’t yours. We’re just making this harder on ourselves. You know I’m right, Zo.”

  My hands balled into fists at my side, the snow melting through my fingers. “You have to stay alive,” I whispered, more tears streaking my cheeks. “I need you to stay alive, Josh. It’s selfish, I know, but I don’t really care. You have to live.”

  “Why?”

  It was a simple question with no simple answer.

  I hesitated, biting the corner of my lip. “Because, you and Cody, you’re all I’ve got left—the only reminders of who I was back before all of th
is. When I look at you, I remember that I wasn’t always this way. I used to smile and laugh, I use to feel. I see the memories of my old self each time I look into your eyes. And I need that. I need to see myself through you. Back when I wasn’t this, this monster.”

  “Zoe, you’re—”

  “Don’t,” I said, holding my fingers up to his lips. There was nothing he could say to change my mind. Nothing he could do to make me feel better about what I’d become. “You’re a part of me, Josh,” I continued, “of the real me. The day you die is the day I lose that last piece of myself, of who I used to be. I’m afraid that after you’re gone, I won’t remember who I was and I’ll fade away into this new life, forever feeling nothing. So, you see, I have to keep you alive for as long as humanly possible because you’re what’s keeping me alive.”

  He leaned toward me, his hand running over my shoulder, eyes glued to mine. Without warning, he pulled away and my heart sank. Josh stood and dusted the white powder from his pants. He ran his hands over his head, keeping his back to me. “I think you should marry Alec,” he said stiffly.

  “W-what?”

  “I think you should—”

  “I heard you the first time,” I snapped. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “I saw him in your room,” he said, his voice colder than I would have liked. “He was on his knees in front of you.”

  I shot to my feet, stepping in front of him so he was forced to look at me. “He was promising to kill the Sythen for me,” I all but shouted. “He wasn’t proposing.”

  Josh’s jaw ticked. “I heard him, Zoe. He wants you to be his wife. You’re a damned fool if you didn’t hear what he was really saying.”

  Anger pulsed through me. “So, what, now you’re like William? You’re going to decide what’s best for me and my life?”

  “He is what’s best for you,” Josh whispered, his shoulders tensing as if he were in pain. He turned away from me once more. “You two are one and the same. He loves you, Zoe. He can protect you.”

  “You can protect me.”

  “He can protect you forever.”

  “Listen to the human. He knows the truth and so do you.” A black figure moved around the outside of the circle, long, leathery wings dragging through the snow. Red eyes found me in the darkness.

  I took a step away from Josh, pulling the small dagger from my back. When I didn’t say anything, Josh turned to face me. He held up his hands, eyes wide. “Zoe, what are you doing?”

  I held a stiff finger over my lips, eyes scanning the perimeter of the circle, waiting. “It’s here,” I breathed.

  Josh’s eyes darted around the stone formation before falling back to me.

  “There’s nothing there, Zoe. It’s not real. You know it’s not real,” he said, taking a hesitant step toward me, hands still up. “Put the knife down before you hurt yourself, Zo.” Before you hurt me. Or, at least, that’s what I heard. Deep down, I knew it likely wasn’t real, but there was no convincing my mind of that. It saw it, it felt it, it heard it. To my mind, it was very real. And it was going to kill again.

  “Do not listen to him, warrior. I am here with you. I will always be here with you. Now, kill him!”

  “No!” I shouted.

  “You must kill him before he has the chance to kill you. Do it now!” the beast roared, climbing up one of the massive stones behind Josh.

  “Zoe, stop!”

  Josh tackled me to the ground, pinning my arms and legs under his. I thrashed beneath him, the dagger still gripped in my hand. Josh couldn’t toss it aside without releasing me, and I knew he wasn’t about to do that. He was using all his strength just to hold me down.

  “It’s going to kill you,” I cried out. The Sythen spread its wings, creeping down the stone and toward Josh’s back. Saliva oozed from its jaws, sizzling as it burned straight through the snow. The beast chuckled.

  “It isn’t real!” Josh shouted, his voice strained. “Focus! It’s all in your head!” His muscles flexed over me, his arms trembling as they struggled to keep me pinned. I was a lot stronger than him. “Look at me, Zoe. Look at me!”

  My eyes found his but the beast was inching over his shoulders, blood-red eyes calling to me. I closed my eyes and screamed.

  “Look at me!” Josh repeated. “You’re stronger than this. I know you are. You just need to look at me!”

  Ice-blue eyes met mine, silent tears streaming down his face. It was going to make me kill him. I could feel it in my head, crawling under my skin, thirsting for more blood. “That’s right, warrior. Do it. Better him than you,” it hissed. “It will happen one day, unless you kill him!”

  “He should have just killed me. I should have made Alec kill me when I had the chance. Oh, God, please, just kill me, Josh! It’s going to make me hurt you.”

  Laughter echoed in my head.

  “Zoe, it can’t hurt you, no matter how real it feels, no matter how real it looks. It isn’t. Trust me. Come on, think about something else.”

  “Like what?” I asked, breathless.

  “Remember when I asked you to go with me to the movies? Not as friends but as…more?”

  I nodded, relaxing slightly against his warm body.

  “No!” the beast roared, rearing back its head.

  “I spent months working up the courage to ask you on that date, Zo. Shit, I’d wanted to ask you out for years, but I couldn’t get up the courage. With high school coming to an end, I knew I had to take the chance. But, dammit, when you said yes, I chickened out. You want to know what my biggest regret in life is? That night. Not because of what happened to you, but because I missed my chance at the one thing I wanted most. You.”

  Tears spilled from the corners of my eyes and the dagger slipped into the snow. Josh grabbed the dagger and tossed it aside. He pressed his forehead to mine and exhaled, his musky scent filling my lungs.

  “Is it gone?”

  I peered over his shoulder and went limp. “Yes, but it’ll be back. It’ll always be back. My mind is no longer my own, not while that beast lives.”

  “Then I won’t rest until it’s dead. I promise you that, Zoe.”

  Josh didn’t get off me as I’d expected. Instead, he kept me firmly pinned beneath him. The weight of his body felt good over mine. There was a look in his eyes, one that caught me entirely off guard. His fingers intertwined with mine as he inched toward me. I questioned him with my eyes as he closed the gap between us.

  “God, you’re beautiful.”

  “Shit,” Josh groaned when the last movie ended. “It’s already past midnight.”

  I stretched out on the sofa like a cat. It felt both good and bad to be so lazy all day. This was the least amount of work I’d done since moving to Santa Cruz. Hell, I hadn’t killed a single person all day. I knew I should enjoy it while it lasted.

  “Do you mind if I hop in your shower really quick?” he asked, grabbing his bag. “I feel pretty grungy after that long ass drive.”

  “Go for it.”

  I watched as he disappeared into the bathroom, hoping he wouldn’t find the knife hidden under the sink. Less than a minute later I already had all the leftover pizza we’d ordered put in the fridge and the beer bottles tossed in the garbage.

  Ten minutes later the bathroom door opened and Josh stepped out with a burst of steam, standing in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs.

  My body temperature went up a few degrees as I took him in. I quickly dropped my gaze to the floor when I realized I was staring.

  “What the hell are you doing, Josh?” I damn near shrieked.

  “What? It’s not like you haven’t seen me in my underwear before.”

  I wanted to tell him this was different but I wasn’t exactly sure how. He was right. I’d seen the man in his underwear many times over the years. What made it feel different now? Was it the year that had passed between us? Or perhaps it was the last real conversation we had before the “accident” involved him asking me out on a date? Or maybe it
was the fact that his boxers in high school were a lot different than these body-hugging boxer briefs he had on that left very little to the imagination. Maybe “little” wasn’t the right word.

  Shit. I was staring again.

  And then Josh hit me with the big question.

  “Do you want to, I don’t know, share the bed?” he asked. He must have seen the shocked look on my face because he quickly added, “I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time.”

  “W-we were kids then, Josh,” I stuttered and all the excess heat in my body pooled between my legs. I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince, him or me.

  But it was too late, the thought had already rooted itself in my head. What would it be like to share a bed with Josh again now that we were all grown up and completely alone? I tried to remember the last time we’d shared a bed. It was in the hospital after my “accident,” and that hardly even counted.

  Before that, it was a sleepover at Cody’s house. Well, I guess it was a sleepover for Josh and Cody and Cody’s mom let me stay over because my stepdad was being a particularly extra special breed of asshole that night. And there were a couple summer campouts we did in Josh’s backyard with friends. It was always very innocent and highly supervised.

  Well, there was no one around to supervise us now, and the way Josh was looking at me was anything but innocent. Those icy eyes burned with a forbidden fire and my mind flashed back once more to that damned condom.

  Even as the yes danced on the tip of my tongue, I found myself saying, “I think you should sleep on the sofa.”

  Regret flashed across Josh’s face and a sharp pang shot through my chest. Whether I wanted to take him up on his offer or not, it was just too damn risky. He would see my markings, even if all we did was sleep like back when we were kids. Though I didn’t think for a second that was what Josh was insinuating.

  There’d always a fine line between us that we couldn’t cross because we were friends—that damned friendship handbook and all. That line had only grown bigger—deeper—in the past year. Hell, it might as well have been the Grand Canyon at this point. Maybe if things had been different…if I were different. But, thanks to William, our chance was long gone now. Whether I wanted it to be or not.