by Laura Pavlov
I’d do it again if it meant she’d be happy.
And now she was getting married to some dude in Chicago and she barely acknowledged my existence. It sucked, but life wasn’t always fair. Some things were out of our control.
“Brother, you have got to pull yourself out of this funk. You’re bringing me down, and we can’t have that. You’re a fucking sad sack,” Jack, my younger brother said, as we stepped off the helicopter when we landed back in Napa.
We commuted back and forth from Montgomery Media, in the city, to the vineyard here. I spent most of my time at the winery these days. Mom was overwhelmed. Jack went back and forth helping Ford, our oldest brother, who ran the family-owned media company started by my grandfather, which specialized in television broadcasting, news and sports. But today, Jack wanted to wrap up a few projects he had going on in Napa.
“I’m not a sad sack, you asshole. But yes, hearing that Lyla has cancer is upsetting. Have some fucking feelings, man.”
“I’m all about the feelings, you know that. But I don’t bottle shit up. I express it. You’ve been moping around ever since you heard that Laney Mae was engaged.”
I rolled my eyes. “Not true. I’m happy for her. I’m upset about her mother.”
“Then fucking do something. You’ve known the woman your entire life. Quit being a pussy. Drive over there. Check on her. Man up, Har-bear.” Jack chuckled as I climbed into the driver’s seat and my brother slid in beside me. I hated the stupid nickname Jack had been calling me since we were kids.
“Mom said Laney was home to be with Lyla. She won’t want to see me.” I pulled out on the road heading for the winery.
“Dude. This is your problem. You’re so afraid of rumpling anyone’s feathers, you’re not doing what you want.”
“What the hell does that mean? I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable when they’re going through a hard time,” I said, shaking my head. He was clueless. He had the social grace of a Rottweiler puppy. He just did what he wanted all the fucking time. I didn’t operate that way.
“Here’s the deal. Lyla has cancer. It’s bad or Laney Mae wouldn’t be here. The woman was like a second mother to you. Stop being a pussy and drive your ass over there and tell her you’re thinking of her. Offer to help. Whatever she needs. People are rarely offended by kindness.”
That just might be the wisest thing Jack had ever said. But I wouldn’t tell him that.
I pulled in the driveway and put the car in park, scrubbing a hand over my face. “Yeah. Maybe I’ll go over there later.”
Jack groaned. “Not later. Do it now. I’ve got things covered here. You’re of no help right now anyway. Just go rip off the Band-Aid. See Laney Mae, tell her mother you’re here for her, and you’re sorry for all she’s going through—you’ll feel like a new man, which will benefit all of us.”
“You’re an asshole,” I said as he jumped out of the car.
“I’ve been called worse. You can thank me later.”
I pulled out on the road and drove the short distance down to the Landers’ house. It was the smallest home in our neighborhood, but it had always been my favorite. They were such a warm family. And they loved their daughter just like I always had. Hell, I still do. She would forever be a part of me. If I thought back on my childhood, there wasn’t one moment that I could recall that didn’t involve Laney Landers. She was every good memory I ever had.
I sucked in a breath and gathered myself. It had been a long while since I’d seen Laney. Almost two years. I heard she was home last Christmas, but I swear she didn’t leave the house for fear of running into me. I saw Lyla, Dave, and Sam a couple times a year, and they were always kind. Jack was right. I needed to do this.
I walked up the paved drive to the front porch and knocked. The door swung open and Sam stood on the other side. “Harrison, hey. Good to see you, man.”
“Hi, I, uh, I thought I’d stop by and see how your mom was doing. I just heard about what was going on, and I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help.”
“She’d love to see you. You know you’ve always been her favorite. I think she likes you more than she likes me,” he said, waving me inside.
“Is Laney here?” I asked under my breath, needing to know what I was walking into.
He chuckled. “Yeah, she’s home, but she and Dad ran to the store to pick up a few things for Mom. She had her first chemo treatment today, and Laney was with her, holding her hand, of course. She and Dad are taking shifts. I took a half day at work today so I could come out and check on everyone.”
I followed him into the living room where Lyla Landers sat on the tan oversized couch. The same couch where I’d made out with her daughter more times than I could count.
“Look who stopped by, Mom,” Sam said. “I’ll let you two catch up. I need to call Gia back.”
I nodded and moved toward Lyla. She looked better than I’d expected, but I wasn’t surprised. She was a strong woman. Just like her daughter.
“Harrison. It’s so good to see you. Come, sit,” she said, patting the seat beside her on the sofa.
I dropped down on the sofa and turned to face her. “You look well. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I just wanted to offer to help in any way that I can.”
She smiled. “That’s sweet of you. I appreciate it. I wasn’t sure if your mom told you, but Laney is home.”
Yes. I knew Laney was home. Knew she was engaged. The news still stung. Hell, she was the only girl I’d ever loved. And that was just something I had to live with.
I pushed the thought away.
“Yes. I heard that. I hope she won’t mind that I’m here.”
She reached for my hand. “She’ll be fine. You two have been through so much together. It makes me sad that you have this rift between you.”
I’d never discussed what happened between Laney and me with her family—I’d barely told my own family. I just didn’t talk about it. It served no purpose. It is what it is. I can’t change what happened. And Laney’s happy, so that’s all that really mattered.
“Yeah. Well, I’m pretty sure she hates me.”
She chuckled. “I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, ‘There’s a fine line between love and hate.’ It’s always bothered me—the role I played in what happened.”
I kept my face blank. Lyla didn’t know that I’d walked in on the conversation between her and Laney all those years ago. At least I didn’t think she did. I doubted Sam ever put the pieces together and told them that I’d stopped by. He’d have no reason to, it wasn’t out of the norm for me to have been there.
“What do you mean?”
She sucked in a long breath and squeezed my hand. “You know I love you, Harrison. I couldn’t have picked a better person to have grown up with my little girl. To have been her best friend and her first love.”
“Thank you.” I nodded awkwardly because I had no idea where this was going.
“After your father passed away, and you and Laney returned home that summer, I, well—I didn’t support her decision to stay here with you and leave school. I don’t know if you ever knew that, because I think you ended things and urged her to return to school as well, shortly after the argument I’d had with her.”
I ran a hand over my face, unsure why we were dredging all of this up now. Sure, I’d walked in on the conversation and it had stung like hell. But the truth was—Lyla was right. Her daughter needed to do what was best for her. They didn’t know I’d heard them and it didn’t really matter. It had been a wake-up call. I was drowning in grief. I was no good to Laney at the time and she deserved better.
“Yeah, she did the right thing going back.”
“It was never that I didn’t want you two to be together. I just thought she should spread her wings. Go out in the world and experience life a little. I always hoped you’d find
your way back to one another.”
“Lyla, I don’t blame you for what happened. It was the right thing to do. And everything worked out. Laney finished school and I’m sure she graduated at the top of her class. She’s engaged and she’s found the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with.” I covered her hand with mine.
Her eyes were wet with emotion. “Yes. And Charlie is a wonderful man. He really is. But, Harrison, you should know that Laney has never been the same since you two broke up. She lost that—light she used to have. And sometimes I feel like she’s just going through the motions.”
I sucked in a long, slow breath. I didn’t know how to respond. I’d never been the same either. Maybe that was just part of life. Things didn’t always work out, and you needed to move forward and do the best you could with what you had.
“We’re home,” Dave Landers called out as he entered the kitchen.
Lyla swiped at the single tear that ran down her face and forced a smile. “Look who stopped by.”
Laney came to a stop when her father set the bags on the counter. Her gaze locked with mine, the darkest ocean blues only rivaled by the deep sea. I used to tease her that I’d drown in those eyes. Her long blonde hair fell around her shoulders in loose waves, and she didn’t look away. She wore skinny jeans and a white T-shirt, and she looked fucking gorgeous.
Fucking perfect.
I fisted my hands at my sides, fighting the urge to move toward her. It had always been there—this invisible pull between us. And it was stronger than ever at the moment.
Laney had always been the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid eyes on, and that certainly hadn’t changed. She shifted on her feet and moved toward me.
“Hey, Harrison.” She swallowed and I studied the movement as it traveled down her lean neck.
I pushed to my feet. “Nice to see you, Laney. I hope you don’t mind me stopping by to see your mom.”
“No, of course not.” She stopped a few feet from me, keeping her distance, and pulled her gaze from mine as if she couldn’t stand the sight of me any longer.
Jesus. Maybe we’d never get past this. The pain of losing Laney was indescribable. I’d grieved for my father after he’d been killed in a car accident, but Laney was a different kind of grief because she was alive and well. But she’d never forgiven me for ending things. I’d honestly thought we’d find our way back to one another, just as her mother did. Obviously, Laney didn’t see it that way. She only called me once, the day after she returned to school, and I hadn’t taken the call because I thought it was too soon. I reached out a few months later, hoping we could repair things, once she was settled back at school and had accepted the distance. But she never spoke to me again. She fiddled with the ring on her finger, and I wanted to punch the fucking wall. Laney was engaged. She was marrying another man.
How the fuck did that happen?
“I hear congratulations are in order. When’s the wedding?” I asked, and my tone came out harsher than I’d intended.
“Thanks. We’re getting married in four months. Still working out the details.” Her face hardened as her gaze locked with mine again.
I nodded. “All right, well, I’ll get out of your hair.”
“Please stop by again, Harrison. It really made my day to see you.”
“Of course. Where do you get your treatments done? Here in Napa?”
“No, we drive into the city to the hospital,” Lyla said, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders.
“You’re driving back and forth to the city every day?” I asked with surprise.
“Yes, that’s how common folks do it,” Laney hissed, raising a brow at me in challenge.
“Laney Mae,” her mother and father both said in unison.
“What? I’m just stating the facts,” she said, turning to reach for the bags on the counter and unloading the items.
“What’s going on in here?” Sam asked, as he strode back into the room.
“Nothing.” Laney rolled her eyes.
“Why don’t you use the helicopter? I can have it ready for you every morning, and it will at least alleviate the commute for you. I can have a car available to drive you to and from the hospital once you land. It will cut a few hours off your day at least.”
“That’s a very generous offer, son. I do think the commute is going to be a lot, Lyla,” Dave said, looking to his wife.
“Thank you. That would be really helpful, Harrison.” Sam nodded at me.
“I don’t mind driving her,” Laney said, crossing her arms in front of her chest and glaring at me.
“Are you sure that wouldn’t be too much trouble?” Lyla turned her attention to me, ignoring her daughter. “That would actually make things a lot easier.”
“Mom, I don’t mind driving you.”
“Laney, you’re being terribly rude. It would help a lot. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”
Laney shot me one final cutting look. If looks could kill, I’d be a dead man. She stormed out of the room and I heard the door slam in the distance.
“Well, that was awkward,” Sam said with a laugh. “Guess she hasn’t outgrown those tantrums.”
“Emotions are high. She’s upset about what Mom is going through,” Dave said, clearing his throat. “But we are very grateful for the offer, Harrison.”
“You got it. Text me the schedule for your treatments, and I’ll get everything set up for you this afternoon and send you the information.”
“Thank you so much,” Lyla said, swiping at her cheeks again as a few more tears ran down her face.
“Of course. I’m happy to help in any way I can.” I hugged her goodbye and Sam walked me to the door.
“Don’t worry about Laney. She’ll come around. You always did have a way of getting her to throw a fit. I don’t think I’ve seen her unravel like that in years.” He laughed.
I didn’t laugh.
The girl hated me, and that stung.
Seeing her again stirred up all sorts of feelings in me that I hadn’t felt in a long time.
I missed her. Missed everything about her. Laney Landers was the reason I hadn’t had a decent relationship since the day we broke up. No one compared to her.
And no one ever would.
“All right, I’ll text you the info in a little bit.” I leaned in and gave him one of those half dude hugs.
“Thanks, Harrison. It means a lot.”
I waved and walked to my car. I glanced up at Laney’s bedroom window. I’d climbed onto her roof dozens of times when we were young and snuck into that room. She stood in the window watching me leave. I waved and smiled, and she glared one last time before yanking the curtains closed.
This was her way of telling me she was shutting me out.
She didn’t want my help.
She didn’t want to see me.
But what Laney didn’t know…I wasn’t going away.
Not this time.
Chapter Three
Laney
We pulled up to the hanger where the Montgomerys kept their helicopter. Scratch that. Helicopters. They owned an endless slew of toys. Cars and planes and helicopters. I’d never been impressed by Harrison’s money. It never mattered to me. It was him that I loved, not his stuff. But, sure, we’d taken many trips together over the years, and it did make life easier to have access to quicker travel. I’d behaved like a spoiled brat yesterday, because seeing him again—was painful. It hurt my heart to be around him. To be reminded of what we had. What we lost.
Mom came upstairs to talk to me after I stormed off last night, and she made some valid points. I’d sent Harrison a text per her insistence and apologized for being rude. He sent me all the info for the commute this week. He and Jack would be traveling with us to the city this morning. I knew they went back and forth often, and this really did make t
hings easier for Mom. Why couldn’t I just appreciate the gesture and be okay with seeing him? Why did it have to hurt so much? Even all these years later. A sharp pain settled in my chest as he approached.
“Laney Mae Landers,” Jack sang out my name like he always had when we were growing up. He and Ford called me Laney Mae and refused to drop the middle name because that’s how they’d met me. I loved both of Harrison’s brothers, as I’d known them my entire life. And unfortunately, I’d cut them all off after the breakup. I couldn’t have them in my life if I wanted to move on from their brother.
“Jack-ass Montgomery.” I laughed, as he scooped me off my feet and spun me around.
“The one and only. You’re looking good, girl.” He set me back down and turned to my mom. “Mrs. Landers, it’s so good to see you. I’m sorry for all you’re going through. I hope you don’t mind me tagging along. I was in Napa last night and need to get to work in the city this morning.”
“Don’t be silly, sweetheart. It’s so good to see you.” Mom hugged Jack as I looked up to find Harrison staring at me.
“Hey.” He nodded.
“Hi. Thanks for doing this,” I said, avoiding his gaze.
“Damn, are these two still acting weird?” Jack asked. “Come on. You’ve known each other your entire life. You’re the dynamic duo, remember? Get over it already.”
My mom’s head fell back with a chuckle, and she nodded. “I agree.”
Jack held the door open, and we all climbed inside the helicopter and buckled up. I sat next to my mother and across from Harrison and Jack.
“How’s Ford?” I asked, suddenly very curious about all the Montgomery boys. I’d known everything about them up until a few years ago. Who they dated, what trouble they’d gotten into—and now I knew nothing.
“Oh man, he’s doing really well. He met a girl.” Jack shrugged. “Harley’s been really good for him. She owns the bakery downstairs in the Montgomery Media building. You would love her. They’re getting married next month at the winery. That’s part of the reason Mom needs help. She’s got too many events planned, and Melanie, one of our event planners, is on maternity leave. You’d really be helping her out by coming on board a few hours a day.”