by Toni Aleo
“Piper, I’m doing this for you,” he tried to say, but she didn’t want to listen.
“Don’t try to turn this on me. You aren’t doing shit for me. All you are doing is breaking my heart. So go, just go, Erik. Leave.”
With that, she turned and walked out of the room, almost tripping over Stanley in the process. Looking down at the dog that had become part of her life totally undid her. She bent down, hugging him tightly as she cried even harder. Behind her, Erik said her name but she ignored him, kissing the dog’s fur before standing up and going across the hall to her room.
Slamming the door behind her, she collapsed against the door, her cries so loud and heart-wrenching as she shook with sadness. How could he do this to her? Why didn’t he love her? What had she done wrong? She gave him everything, promised him everything, and he still would not believe her. He wouldn’t trust that she was not his mom and wouldn’t leave. Well, what else could she do except tell him to go? Maybe he’d figure it all out on his own.
When the knock came at the door, she cried, “No, Erik, go.”
“Piper, please open the door, let’s try to talk this out.”
“There is nothing to talk about, Erik. I’ll always be yours. I’ll always be the one who loved you unconditionally. And I know that if you looked deep in your heart, you’d see that you love me, too, but until you see that, we’re done. You’ve made your choice and it is without me. I won’t let you continually hurt me like this.”
“Piper, you are overreacting; talk to me. This doesn’t have to be like this.”
“No! Go! My lawyer will be in contact.”
“Piper—”
“You leave me alone Erik Titov or I will call Elli so fucking fast and tell her that we’ve been lying to her from the beginning. Leave me alone!”
“You think I care about that? I care about you. Open the door, talk to me. I don’t want to leave like this,” he pleaded, but Piper didn’t care. She couldn’t do this. This wasn’t okay, and she refused to let him try to talk his way out of it.
“No! Go! You want us to be done, we’re done. Now go!”
He let out a roar before something crashed in the hall and then his footsteps disappeared down it. Piper closed her eyes and heard the front door slam. She had no intention of calling Elli or anyone else, for that matter, but she needed him to go. She couldn’t look at his beautiful face and hear the words that would haunt her for life.
He didn’t want her.
She didn’t understand his reasons. She thought they were fucking stupid and a part of her was sure that even he didn’t understand them. The only thing she did know at that moment was that she was done with Erik Titov.
No matter how much it hurt.
Chapter 23
Piper was done.
Leaning back in her chair, the first smile in a week came across her face. She couldn’t believe it. Seven months of living in the world of Mrs. Octopus and she was finally done. She was done with drawing for authors. She had let Emmaline know and, thankfully, she understood. Piper already had three murals lined up to draw after Dimitri came, and she couldn’t have been more pleased.
The only thing that was keeping her from being happy was that her heart was still breaking for Erik. She had never experienced such heartbreak in her life. She felt numb all the time. Her eyes hurt from crying and her heart felt as if it wasn’t beating.
She just hurt.
Piper hadn’t been anywhere, hadn’t done anything since he left, and she knew that was part of the problem. She also hadn’t lied as much as she had since he left, which made no sense in the world. She used to feel horrible lying to her family and friends, but now she didn’t care. She missed her baby shower and all of the other events her sisters had planned; all she wanted to do was to stay in her house and cry about losing Erik. It was selfish but she didn’t care.
She did make it to her doctor’s appointments for Dimitri. He was healthy and staying put; all was good with her and the baby. But she had skipped all of her Lamaze classes and realized she would pay for that later. She couldn’t attend class without Erik, especially with Fallon, Audrey, and their husbands all there—they’d all ask questions and at this point she didn’t have answers, nor did she want to talk about it. If Erik wanted to explain what happened, then fine.
Nothing outside of Dimitri mattered; she was too heartbroken to care.
Packing away the sketches for Mrs. Octopus’ Eight Tentacles, she wrote out Emmaline’s address and then one for the publisher before sealing the boxes. Throwing them on the counter for FedEx, she made her way back to Dimitri’s room. The nursery was completely done, and beautiful. The colors were bright and Piper was convinced that Dimitri would love it.
She walked over to the corner where her presents from her baby shower sat, and sat down cross-legged on the floor to open them all. Harper had dropped off the presents the day before with well wishes from everyone. The lie of being sick and too tired to go seemed like a good idea at the time, but now Piper was completely annoyed with herself. Everyone kept popping by, bringing her stuff and fussing over her. The sad thing was she didn’t want them.…
She wanted Erik.
With a sigh, Piper began opening the presents. She got the cutest things, sweet little outfits and all the necessities she would need for the baby. The coolest gift was the one Elli had gotten her. It was a monogrammed baby bag with Dimitri’s name on it that also was filled with shirts, socks, hats, burp cloths, and bibs, all with D’s on them. They were so precious and Piper couldn’t wait to see Elli to thank her in person.
Moving to the rocking chair in the corner of the room she sat down and rested her hands on her stomach.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” she whispered as she rubbed her extended stomach. She said it more for herself than for the baby, because she needed that reminder. She was nervous, scared, and unsure what her future held. Reaching for her Kindle, she started rocking as she read out loud. She had gotten so used to reading that way when Erik was there that she decided to keep doing it. She knew that Dimitri enjoyed her reading Harry Potter. He was her kid, for goodness sakes.
She was well into the book when the doorbell rang. Laying her Kindle down, she made her way down the hall. She still got a little anxious thinking it might be her husband coming to confess his devotion, but that wasn’t likely to happen. He hadn’t been back since he left. He only called or texted, saying that they needed to talk. She was pretty sure that everything they needed to say had been said, so really, she had no clue what they needed to talk about. He wasn’t calling to say he loved her or wanted her back; he only wanted to know that she was okay and he could hear that from everyone else.
Reaching the door, she was surprised to see that it was Alla and Cooper. They hadn’t called, because if they had, she would have made up some kind of excuse as to why they couldn’t come over. Opening the door, she greeted them with a small smile and said, “Hey, I wasn’t expecting y’all.”
Alla smiled, wrapping her arms around Piper for a big hug. She pulled back, cradling Piper’s stomach as she said, “He’s getting big.”
Piper nodded. “He is.”
She looked down at where Alla held her and smiled. She was all baby.
“We came by to drop some stuff off and to check in on you,” Cooper said, giving her a half hug before turning to grab what seemed like a million bags.
“We kind of went a little crazy,” Alla mentioned as they passed by her, bringing bags into the house.
“A little crazy?” Piper said as her living room started to fill with packages from different baby stores.
Alla laughed as she helped Cooper bring in a bassinet. She turned with a smile on her face as she said, “Erik went with us, too. He wanted to make sure you have everything off your registry.”
Piper was excited that she now had everything she needed but was sad that Erik couldn’t even come over to drop it off himself. He sent his parents, which was basically like another knif
e being stabbed into her heart.
“He’s worried, you know,” Cooper said softly. “He said you won’t answer his calls.”
Piper looked away as she nodded. “There is nothing to talk about.”
“Maybe you could call him?”
“I can’t. Just let him know everything is fine.”
“Piper, honey, I know that you must be upset,” Alla said slowly. “But it doesn’t have to be like this. He still wants to …” She trailed off and Piper knew it was because she didn’t know what to say. Piper wanted to laugh at the uncertainty of that man, but she couldn’t; all she could do was cry.
“I can’t do it. I need time to get over him because I still love him and I miss him so much,” she cried, her hand resting over her broken heart. “And I can’t face him right now.”
“I understand,” Alla said softly.
“And we are sorry, Piper. I wish that things would have gone differently for you two,” Cooper said, reaching out to take her hand in his.
The tears came faster as she shook her head. “No, don’t be sorry, because it’s as much my fault as it is his. I didn’t fight hard enough for him and I’m sorry I gave up but it was so hard loving someone who didn’t love me back.”
Alla came over, taking Piper’s face in her hands. “No, Piper, you didn’t give up, he did, and he sees what he did was wrong,” she said sternly. “He loves you, so much. He is just afraid of hurting you and is trying to hide behind walls that have been up since he was a child.”
“I miss him,” Piper whispered. “But I can’t keep on the way we were. Me giving everything I can, while he just gave me pieces here and there. If I would have known what to do to convince him I would be here for him always, I would have. He is the most amazing man when he wants to be, but then he shields himself and doesn’t let me in. It hurts me and I don’t want to hurt anymore.”
“I know honey,” Alla said, taking her into her arms and holding her tight. “I know.”
* * *
“So you’ll be fine for the wedding, right?”
Piper nodded even though Audrey couldn’t see her. She had been making some beef and broccoli for dinner when Audrey called. With the phone cradled between her face and shoulder she started preparing the sauce. “Yes, I’ll be fine. I promise. I’m doing great.”
“Oh, well that’s good. I’ve been worried.”
“Nothing to worry about, I just ate something bad,” Piper said as she transferred some broccoli to a hot pot of water. “I’ll be okay.”
“Okay, so I’ll see you guys at two on Saturday?” Audrey asked, and Piper could hear the worry in her voice.
“Yup, I’m so excited!” Piper gushed, hoping to reassure Audrey with her enthusiasm. She didn’t want her worrying about her; the wedding was days away.
“Me, too,” Audrey squealed.
After saying goodbye to Audrey, Piper laid the phone on the counter. She could feel her tears wanting to fall but she couldn’t allow them. She had shed enough tears for Erik Titov and she refused to let any more fall. Pouring some rice into the pot, she leaned against the counter, playing on her phone as she waited for her food to cook. She was in the middle of checking her Facebook page when Elli’s picture came across her phone.
Piper bit her lip as she tried to figure out if she should answer it. By the third ring, she decided she would. “Hello?”
“Hey, is Erik there?”
Piper paused. “No, he isn’t.”
“Crap, okay, he isn’t answering his phone. I need him to go check on Phillip for me,” Elli said quickly, and Piper could tell that something was wrong.
“What’s wrong with Phillip?” Piper asked.
“His sister died. He says he’s fine but that was his sister, you know?”
Piper was shocked. She didn’t even know she had been sick. “Oh my goodness, that’s horrible. You can’t get ahold of Erik?”
“No, can you try? Do you know when he’ll be home?”
Piper bit her lip. Had he not told anyone that they weren’t together? Apparently only Alla and Cooper knew. Why hadn’t he told anyone? Confused and not knowing what to do, Piper said, “Um, I’m not sure. I’m pretty sure he is with Phillip, but I’ll call and make sure.”
“Great, let me know what happens; thank so much,” Elli said as a baby started to screech. “Owen is angry about something. Call me back when you hear anything.”
After they hung up, Piper knew she had to call Erik and tell him to check up on Phillip, but for some reason she dialed another number.
“Hello?”
Piper’s heart softened at the sound of his voice. “Phillip, it’s Piper. How are you?”
“Hey, I’m okay, you?” he asked.
“I’m good. I was calling to check up on you.”
“Elli called you?” he asked with suspicion in his voice.
She smiled. “Yeah.”
“I’m fine, I promise,” he said, but even Piper could tell he was lying. With a heavy heart, she tried to think of something else to say but she had never had anyone die that was close to her. She didn’t know what to say other than that she was sorry, but she was sure he had heard that plenty already. As the timer for her rice went off, an idea struck her.
“Will you be home in the next couple of hours?” she found herself asking.
“Yeah, I’m not going anywhere tonight.”
“Can I come over? I was going to bring you some dinner, maybe some cake, too, if I don’t eat it all.”
Phillip laughed, sounding a bit like his old self. “Sure, that would be great.”
“Great. I’ll be over in a bit.”
“Cool. Thanks, Piper.”
“No problem, but”—she took in a deep breath, then resumed—“is he there?”
Phillip was quiet for a moment. “Nope.”
“Cool. See you soon.”
Piper’s heart raced as she hung up the phone and looked around the room. She might have acted calm when she was on the phone but she wasn’t at all. Erik might not be there now but she knew there was a chance he would show up while she was there. She wasn’t surprised when Alla told her that he had gone back to live with Phillip. That was his best friend and where else would he have gone? He could have stayed with his parents or even gotten his own place like a regular grown man, but he hadn’t; instead he chose to go back to the life he had before Piper. It hurt and did nothing but make her think that he really didn’t want their life together. She could still see him grinning at her, holding her in his arms as his lips brushed over hers. She still believed that he cared, that he even loved her, but his choices made it so hard to keep believing.
After packing everything up, she got dressed and was soon on the road to Phillip’s house. With every mile bringing her closer to her destination, her fears grew as she sang louder and louder to the music of Adele. There are two ways she could do this: Drop off the food, give Phillip a quick hug, and then leave. Or she could go inside and sit with Phillip a bit; if Erik showed up she would force him to talk with her. Oddly enough, she would like to see Erik one last time. Maybe she’d finally get it into her head that he just didn’t care.
When she arrived she sat in the car a bit looking for Erik’s Aston Martin but it wasn’t there. Maneuvering herself out of her car, Piper got out the food she had brought for Phillip and walked up the short driveway. Relief and disappointment filled her as she knocked on the door. When Phillip opened it, she put a smile on her face as she gave him a sideways hug.
“Hey,” she said as she entered his home.
“Hey, thanks for bringing me food,” he said as he took the bags from her, but she wasn’t listening.
She heard him before she saw him, and soon Piper was on the floor with her arms wrapped around Stanley. She squeezed the dog so tight tears filled her eyes. Stanley licked and barked happily as she continued to hug him.
“Oh my goodness, Momma has missed you, Stanley. Have you missed me?” she cooed as she held him close.
“I’m not some girl, huh, buddy? I’m Momma. He misses his momma.” Stanley barked, licking any part of her as he struggled for air. Poor thing was going to have a heart attack. “Goodness me, calm down, buddy,” she said, petting the dog softly.
Piper stood and followed Phillip to the kitchen. She watched as he opened the boxes and threw a piece of broccoli in his mouth. He smiled over at her and nodded. “It’s good; thank you again.”
“Any time,” she said, leaning against the bar. “So you sure you’re okay?”
He flashed her one of his killer smiles, one that made all of the girls swoon. It did nothing for Piper. He was a gorgeous man, just not the man she wanted.
Pushing back her tears, she let him talk. “I’m good, I promise. My sister and I weren’t close. We were almost fifteen years apart and never really connected. I mean, I’m sad, but I’m mainly sad for my niece, Claire. I’m going up to see her after our game in Minnesota. She is staying with my aunt.”
“How old is she?”
“Sixteen. I haven’t seen her since I left home to play for a team in downtown Minneapolis, but I try to keep in touch. My sister was a bitch and kept her from me. So we’ll see how it goes,” he said before stuffing his mouth with some rice.
“Is she going to stay with your aunt?” Piper asked.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure she is taking custody. She’s good people. Claire will be happy there.”
“That’s good,” Piper said.
“So how have you been?” he asked.
Piper shrugged her shoulders. “Okay; it’s been kind of hard.”
Phillip’s eyes softened as he gave her a small half smile.
“Yeah, but hey, looks like the little guy wants out.”
He nodded his head to her stomach and she smiled as she backed away from the counter, looking down at her belly, but just as she was about to say something, she backed into a hard, hot body. When a pair of hands, ones that had held her in more ways than one could imagine, rested against her hips, she turned around and looked up into the pair of dark eyes that she missed so much.