by Sara Allen
The part I’d played in realizing Turner’s dreams had been a sense of fulfillment for me. It felt almost personal on a level that I couldn’t shake. There were parts of that house I’d put touches that were too personal, elements that Turner hadn’t asked for, but which I knew needed to be in there. The need to explain my choices hadn’t risen, and as far as I was concerned, I hoped he’d never ask about them.
“Why are you so nervous, Row?” Simon glanced at my face before his eyes flicked down to my fingers clamped together like a vice.
“This may sound really silly, Sy,” I said quietly. “But I have a feeling that the house wasn’t built for Turner.”
He looked at me as though I was mad. “What do you mean?” he asked. “He was the only person I ever saw out there.”
“I know what it looks like,” I replied, sighing. “But something that was said to me has been running around my mind since that problem we had with the flooding.”
Simon laughed, filling the car with mirth. “Girl, you’re tripping.”
The car topped the rise where the house stood out against the darkened sky, a blaze of warm yellow lights that cast everything around it into the background.
“Well, we’re here now,” Simon said, pulling into the car filled driveway. “You can ask him yourself.”
Looking up at the house perched beside the granite outcrop and illuminated rocks with the waterfall beside them had a mesmerizing effect on my soul that eased my breath past my lips in a sigh of contentment. The grounds had been decorated with small, lighted areas that showed off focal points. A pathway with sunken lamps, led off in three directions from the main house, and outside beams blazed up at the house at strategic points.
All in all, it was a masterpiece showcase dwelling that was functional and innovative in both design and purpose. I couldn’t help the little stab of pride when I gazed on the swimming pool that appeared to be part of the landscape, yet was enclosed within the house. It made it perfect for use in winter and summer with nothing more than the removal of the glass sliding doors.
I watched people walking around the pool with glasses of wine or whatever, their faces enraptured at their ability to be in two spaces at once. The pool had been shifted to the new position when the house was adjusted because of the necessary re-design. The opportunity had presented itself and I’d jumped right in. It didn’t matter that I’d envisioned using the space with Ash, which was secondary and impossible.
The entrance to the property was accessed by stairs that led upwards in a tiered design with a couple of switchbacks that showed views of the surrounding countryside. As we topped the last stair, the door swung open as though automatic and Dave Turner was waiting for us, a beaming smile on his face. I couldn’t help but grin at him in triumph.
“Welcome.” He grinned back, reaching out and enclosing me in his arms. “I thought you wouldn’t come.”
“Are you nuts?” I laughed. “I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.” I looked around the open foyer and into the lounge. There weren’t as many people in there as I’d thought. My nerves rippled around my stomach again.
“Come in and let me get you a drink.” He shook Simon’s hand and led us into the house proper.
There were small touches that had been added which I hadn’t seen. A huge painting dressed one of the internal walls, an abstract that was a mix between tranquility and a storm. It drew my eyes for the remarkable resemblance it had to the painting I had at home. A painting that I hadn’t been able to leave once I’d seen it in the gallery almost five years previous.
I had to see whom the artist was who'd painted this canvas. I moved towards the painting as though it called me. I peered at the scrawled signature and smiled before stepping back to admire the artist's work from a proper distance.
“It’s striking, isn’t it?”
My heart stilled. My whole body became rigid with fear and surprise, and I turned to the voice slowly, not believing for a minute that it was the one person I had expected.
“Ash?” My breath escaped from between parted lips in a whisper of longing and pain.
“Rowanne.” He stood with his hands in his pockets and an expectant look on his face.
He looked thinner as though he hadn’t been eating properly and had lost some of the bulk he’d had. He’d cut the length from the top of his hair and no longer sported the topknot that I’d run my finger through so many times I’d lost count. The tattoo beside his eye stood out starker as though his face was paler, but he was still the same person, still my Ash.
He held out a hand. “Hello, my name is Asher Swatovski.” He gauged me with a look. “Welcome to my home.”
26
Him
I hadn’t expected her to run, but she had. I’d hoped she didn’t leave, but as I reached the door, she’d already jumped into the car that had brought her and turned over the engine. She turned a stricken gaze up at me and gunned the engine, spinning the steering wheel hard and aiming the car for the entrance.
I knew she’d want to escape, and I didn’t blame her. I’d tricked her into building the house she’d designed for me because I could think of no other way for her to agree to do it. There was no way in hell she would have taken on this project if I’d asked her myself, so I did the next best thing and I wasn’t going to feel sad or cut up about using her to do it.
The debate on whether to follow her took me all of five seconds, enough time for her to calm down and listen to me without throwing her shoe in my face. My feet took me to the garage and passed the car I’d bought for her to reach my own gleaming black MPV. Without thinking too much about why I did what I was doing, I followed at a safe distance, far enough to allow her to reach her home and over-think everything before I got there. I hoped she’d have calmed down enough to form the questions she needed to ask.
Taking a deep breath, I pressed the buzzer for her apartment and waited impatiently. It was with no surprise that she didn’t even ask who it was, allowing me entry, as though she knew it would be me. I took my time going up, wanting to delay the inevitable. But once I’d pushed on the door and entered and saw her standing in a space I was so familiar with yet a stranger to. It felt so much like coming home that I wondered why I’d waited so long.
Rowanne stood in front of the painting that had held me from the first time I saw it. I’d gone so far as to seek out the artist and commission a piece for myself. It was one of the first things I did after our divorce, an instinctive response that felt natural and needed.
“Why?”
“Because you wouldn’t have built the house for me otherwise.”
“You’re damn right I wouldn’t have!”
She was angry and with good reason. I’d manipulated her. But she had to hear my reasons why to accept everything I’d done over the years, years I’d survived with this outcome in mind.
“The house needed to be finished,” I told her. “And only you could have done it.”
“I never had any intention of building that house, Ash!” She spun, turning on me in fury. “I never wanted to be reminded of you in that way.”
“Row, sweetheart—”
“Don’t call me that!” She staggered and instinctively, I reached out to catch her. “Don’t touch me.” It was a plea, and I withdrew my hand, stepping back to give her space.
“Rowanne,” I began again. “I had to do it. I needed to finish what I’d started.”
She’d moved away, taking a spot at the end of the sofa and drawing her bare feet up to tuck beneath her floor-length dress. Her jaw was more angular and her collarbones stood out in stark relief to how I’d remembered. It seemed we’d suffered in each other's absence, but I knew she’d never admit it just as I wouldn’t.
“What did you start, Ash?”
Taking a deep breath, I threw my cards on the table, not caring if she threw them back in my face. This was something I should have done a long time ago. “I started loving someone I never thought I should have.”
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“Then you’ve come to the wrong place.”
“I was never in the wrong place.” I shook my head. “Only these years without you have felt wrong, Row.”
“Why didn’t you leave me in peace?”
“Do you want me to leave you in peace, Rowanne?”
“Yes!” She shuddered. “No! I want to be able to sleep at night. I want to—”
“What do you want, Row?”
She turned a stricken gaze at me. “Please, leave me alone, Ash.” Her face ran with tears. “I can’t do this now, maybe not ever.”
I’d known this wouldn’t be easy, but I’d decided I wasn’t going to keep on being the loser where this woman was concerned. So, I cast my eyes around her apartment, taking in all the things that had changed and remembering the things that remained the same. What I noted saddened me, because I realized she hadn’t lived in the last three years. She’d been existing. And knowing that, I was determined to change that fact.
“Okay, Rowanne,” I spoke quietly, so she had to listen to what I was saying. “I’m going to leave you alone. But I’m not going to let you push me away, not this time.”
“I never pushed you away, Asher,” she said, her voice like the wind over desolate mountains. “I only wanted to be there for you.”
I knew that and more. I understood everything she was saying to me and now, I was prepared to use it all. Everything I’d learned about what went wrong between us, I was going to rectify and win my wife back.
“Lock the door when I’m gone,” I told her. “And don’t ever open the door to anyone without asking who it is first.”
“I saw you from the window.”
Her
He left, walked away when I’d wanted him to hold me tight and never let me go. I didn’t know if he was coming back or if he was going to leave me for another three years without seeing his face. I’d missed him so much that the pain of it was too strong and I had trouble holding myself upright.
I had no idea how I’d managed to get myself home, as though I’d been moving on autopilot the whole time.
Knowing he’d follow me was a certainty that I didn’t question. After all, the elaborate charade he’d set up and executed had been for a cause I was still trying to understand. It was too easy for him say that the house needed to be built, and I was the one who needed to do it, but there was more to it than that, and I had to understand that reason and the implications behind it.
Sitting in the dark after he’d gone, I brought his image up in my mind.
The rugged jaw and high forehead were the same, as was that sensual mouth that had teased me with pleasures untold; those hadn’t changed. The ring encircling his lip was gone, as was the ring that had once hung from his nostril. He exchanged the hoop earrings for small diamond studs, as though his bad boy image had been muted, rather than discarded. The once long hair at his crown had been shortened and styled away from his face, showing he was more open to investigation.
But his body was thinner, leaner than it had been when I’d struggled to wrap my arms all the way around his chest. I wondered if my hands would still barely meet if I reached around him. Would his chest be wide enough to hold all my fears and comfort my loneliness? I didn’t know, and that scared me, frightened me to an extent that I wanted to escape where he’d never find me.
My phone beeped with a text notification, and I reached for it, thinking it was Simon checking on me.
:Go lock the door.
He was still bossy and still looking out for me.
I stood from the chair and walked to the door, turning the lock twice to secure it, and walked back to the lounge. Since earlier that night when I’d stepped into Ash’s house until that moment, I realized that New Year had come and gone. Was this how my year was going to be, with a ghost reappearing without warning? My phone beeped again, and I looked at the brightened screen.
:You should have done it sooner. Happy New Year, Rowanne.
I walked to the window and looked down. His car was still there, and I watched as he exited the apartment building. He stopped and looked up, as though he could see me in the darkened room.
He’d stood at my door until I’d locked and secured it, and I didn’t know what to make of that.
27
Her
Several weeks had gone by since New Year and apart from the occasional text asking how I was, none of which I dared to answer, Ash had kept his distance. In a way, I was happy with that, but a part of me wanted him to fight for me, fight for us, and he wasn’t doing that. He was out there respecting my wishes without realizing exactly what they were. I didn’t even know myself, except that I ached to see him again.
I dropped the pen on the side of the desk and leaned back. My ambitious drive had gone for a hike and didn’t seem to want to come back any time soon. What I needed was a distraction, of the tall, tatted kind.
My intercom buzzed, making me jump out of the puddle my mind had sunk into. I pressed the button, a little flustered.
“What’s up, Mags?”
“Err… you have a package out here.”
Intrigued. “What do you mean, a package?”
“Uhmm, maybe you should come out and see for yourself.”
The tremor in her voice scared me a little. “Can’t you bring it?”
“It’s a little awkward,” she said evasively.
“What?”
“Just get yourself out here and get this damn thing.” She clicked off and I rounded my desk and went to see what all the commotion was about. As I made my way to the reception area, I heard oohing and aahing from a few of the girls who’d crowded into a circle. Mags looked at me with a weird expression on her face and pointed to the small crowd.
Shouldering my way past, I looked down at an extremely cute puppy in a gold cage. Although the pup was fluffy with a huge red bow around its neck, it was of a decent size that in its adult stage would be a very large dog needing a lot of space to run around for exercise.
“Are you sure this is for me?” I asked, turning to Mags in confusion.
“That’s what it says on the box.” She handed me a note. “Here!”
Only one person could have done this and I wondered what he was up to now. The pup looked up at me and whimpered, causing all those gathered around to aahh in response.
“Would you get away from here,” Mags shooed them. “You’re blocking the entrance. All of you are a fire hazard.”
I stood looking down at the cage and the puppy sitting on a cute pink cushion and wondered what I was going to do with it. I flicked the envelope open and read the instructions inside.
“One second, Mags.” I turned to my friend. “I’ll be right back.”
“You can’t leave that here,” she declared in a panic.
“I’m not,” I replied. “I’m going to get my coat and purse.” I threw a scowl at the puppy. “It seems I need to take Junior here for a walk.”
“Where?”
“About an hour and a half away.”
I’d left the cage in my office, only because it was easier to take the pup down to my car on its own four feet. I didn’t even want to know how they’d got the thing upstairs. It seemed Mr. Asher Swatovski was changing tactics. The puppy was as personal as Ash had ever gotten, and I wasn’t sure if he’d bought it with me in mind or with himself. But the fact that he’d done it at all sent butterflies shooting through my stomach.
When I finally reached the house, there was no one to be seen and no cars in the drive. I let the puppy out of the car and watched it run around exploring the new space. The carefree way it settled into the space had me smiling without any constraints, something I hadn’t done in more weeks than I cared to think about. Secretly, I praised Ash for sending me the dog. It seemed I was already attached to the fluff ball, having spent the last two hours conversing with it. Calling the puppy over, I went in search of Ash.
As I made my way up the stairs I remembered the last time I’d been there and the way I�
�d left. It meant I hadn’t had a chance to explore the space and see how Ash had decorated. Pressing the bell, I waited for him to answer, but after a few minutes and no one coming, I grew worried that I’d made my way here and there was no one to let me in.
Reaching for my phone, I saw a text telling me he’d been detained and that I should make myself at home.
“That’s just great, asshole,” I mumbled. “But how do I get in?”
:Asshole! Really?
I knew he had remote security, it was a given in a secluded location like this. So, the text he sent me had me laughing at the content.
I looked at the door. “I was kidding.” I shrugged with a half smile. “But I need to use the ladies room.”
There was a beep and the door unlocked.
“Thank you.”
:Wipe the dogs feet, he’s been running through the mud.
I opened the door and stepped back, watching the puppy run into the house. “Oops, my bad,” I said. “Seems like he’s just too much for me to handle.”
:Cute. :-/
I couldn’t hold the laugh and walked into the house, closing the door behind me. It was my chance to explore before he arrived and the serious business began. I couldn’t believe how peaceful I felt in Ash’s space. The furnishings he’d used were all neutral colors, as though he hadn’t wanted to spoil the space with anything more invasive against the deep black of the granite floor.
The kitchen space was a dream, and I took a bowl, filled it with water and offered it to the puppy that drank thirstily.
“What am I going to call you?” I asked the pup, who turned huge brown eyes in my direction before ignoring me in favor of the water bowl. “You stay here. I’m going snooping,” I told it and patted the puppy on the head and made my way to the stairs leading up.
My explorations started in the bedrooms. The four largest of which were on the top floor, along with their en-suite bathrooms. I hadn’t seen everything as I’d been engaged on another project before this one had been completed. My plan to see it at the New Year’s party had been thrown in the air by the appearance of the owner, and my own fear and panic that had sent me fleeing from the house.