by Sara Allen
I took my time exploring the rooms, each of them with a different decor, yet matching in theme. He’d taken care with how he set up each room to make perfect use of the space and it was a surprise that he’d paid so much attention to detail. There was an attention to the smaller characteristics that had me wondering about his eye for such minute things. I should have known, because he’d always been observant, no matter what was going on. What I found was that Ash had been subtle, unobtrusive and considerate in his choices in the rooms and the house in general.
The more I explored the more I wanted to sit him down and ask him the thousand questions that bubbled in my mind. By the time I’d finished on the top floor, he’d become more of an enigma than when I’d started. As I came down the stairs onto the main level, the door beeped and Ash’s tall frame came into view.
He stopped and looked at me, caught halfway down the stairs. “What do you think?”
“I say you’re a genius,” I replied, “but I don’t want to give you a big head.”
He smiled, an actual smile that reached his eyes. I watched as his smile turned sad and his face clouded, making me rush down the last of the steps and face him across the lounge.
He cleared his throat. “Have you seen the rest of the house?”
“No,” I admitted. “I was upstairs.”
He held out a hand. “Would you like me to come with you?”
I thought about it, then nodded. “If you don’t mind.”
He led me around the main floor, explaining his choices and the small adjustments he’d made. By the time we’d arrived at the lower ground floor, the sun had slipped from the sky and the lights outside in the gardens had switched on.
I stood at the window in the pool room and gazed out at the illuminated garden.
“This space is so peaceful,” I told him. “You’ve done a superb job with this.”
“I wouldn’t have been able to do it without your input, Rowanne.”
He was so close to me that I could have turned around and climbed inside his sweater. I held myself together. My arms circled around my waist so I wouldn’t reach out and touch him. He must have seen my discomfort, and stepped back, giving me space.
“Stay and have dinner with me, please?”
“I don’t know if I should,” I replied honestly.
“If I promise to be a gentleman, would you stay?”
“I think I heard that once before,” I reminded him. “It didn’t end well.”
“That night ended perfectly,” he said with sadness. “It’s what happened after that was bad.”
I had to admit he was right about that. “I don’t want to go down that road again, Ash.” I admitted. “This…” I waved at the house and grounds that showed me it was a completely different man from the one I knew who’d masterminded this interior. “This is from someone I don’t know.”
“Then let me show you, Rowanne.” He held out a hand to me.
“I’m scared, Ash,” I stepped back. “Scared that I won’t like what I find.”
His hand shook slightly, but he still held it out. “Neither of us is what we seem on the outside.” His lips curled into a smile. “We can only take a chance.”
Thinking about what he said, had a ring of truth to it. Gingerly, I laid my hand across his palm and his fingers closed, caressing my knuckles with his thumb.
“Let’s take this slow, okay?”
He nodded, but I wondered if it wasn’t more for show than anything. I felt myself falling into him again, and I welcomed the feeling of abandonment that my heart had dreamed of.
Epilogue
Six Months Later
Him
Summer was proving to be hot, humid, and uncomfortable. I thought that with the positioning of the house out in the open countryside, there would be a breeze that would flow freely around the interior. But that wasn’t the case, and I eased my collar open again to get some cool air to circulate inside my tuxedo.
“Nervous, Ash?” Andrew asked, eyeing me with a wicked grin.
“No. I’m just hot.”
His brows bobbed, and I ignored the innuendo. Despite being the father of a very cute little boy, Andrew still hadn’t grown up completely. He still liked to play around and have the odd joke. But Sam, his wife, had him firmly on board in the family, whether he liked it or not.
I turned from the podium and looked at the gathered family and friends who were here to witness Rowanne and I as we said our vows again. This time, we would do it properly just as we’d gotten to know each other better than we had the last time. I couldn’t believe I had wasted all this time being away from her, and even though she’d insisted we take things slow, it hadn’t happened that way.
Our love for each other, even though we’d tried to suppress it, bloomed as soon as we began focusing on each other again. I realized how wrong I’d been trying to keep the ugly parts of my life from her. All of me, the bad and the good were a part of me, and as Rowanne insisted, she couldn’t love the good without understanding the bad.
It had meant many nights of tears and support from both of us. I was able to be vulnerable with Rowanne, a vulnerability that allowed my determined side to show to greater effect. I didn’t have to be the tough guy without a heart, not where Rowanne was concerned. For people who didn’t know me, I didn’t give a fuck, so long as Rowanne accepted me. That’s all that mattered.
As the sun shone overhead, I waited for my bride to put in an appearance, and pulled on my shirt collar again. I heard the wedding march begin and peered over at the pool room doors that had been thrown wide open to bring a little bit of our world outside.
My throat closed with how graceful she was as she stood there with her face turned towards me. It was a far cry from how we’d wed the first time, but I wouldn’t change that either. We’d come together once and we were set to do it again. I wiped away the tear that had fallen on my cheek and beamed a smile at my forever wife.
Her
Even though I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t fall into him again, I hadn’t been able to still my heart or emotions from wanting all of him. There were many days and nights we’d sat and talked, long into the early hours of a morning, in the hopes of understanding each other.
There were things I found out about Ash that I wish I’d never asked. But seeing his determination to trust and show me every side of his life made even those bitter moments from his past a source of our togetherness, and all the more sweeter.
From the long talks we’d had, I realized how many times he could have slipped through my fingers, and I would have never met him. But I believed in fate, and knew that there was a purpose for us, a reason for our coming together. A purpose that culminated, yet would begin again in our nuptials today.
I wouldn’t think of the time we were apart as a waste, because I’d come to comprehend that even if Ash told me nothing about himself, I was willing to take what he offered just to share my love for him, with him. However, I saw that he was more prepared than I was to be open about who and what he was. That for me was a sign of his true love. A passion that showed each side of him and still remained as strong, if not stronger than it had been before. There was awareness in my soul that Ash was a man I could rely on, always.
Breathing deep, I stepped out from the shadow of the pool room into the bright sunlight and flower strewn gardens that belonged to the house Ash had built me. A dwelling he’d put his heart into without even knowing if I would agree to live there. He’d purchased the plot of land after Dave Turner had taken me to see it, and I’d fallen in love with the location even though I knew it wouldn’t belong to me.
Ash had been willing to take a gamble, which had paid off handsomely for the both of us.
Our exchanged vows today would have more meaning than most couples because we were reaffirming those we’d made almost four years previously. It wasn’t with regret that I thought back to those days, but with a sense of sadness and hope that from now on, I was part of a team, a
nd my team mate was as strong as I could ever hope for.
My father placed my hand in Ash’s and stepped back. Turning to my big strong man, who tried to discreetly wipe away the tear at the corner of his eye, I smiled.
“Are you ready for this, Mr. Swatovski?”
He smirked. “Wild horses couldn’t stop me.”
“Really?”
He nodded his head vigorously.
Leaning forward I whispered in his ear and eased back to look at him with amusement.
“What? When?” He stared down at me. “Are you fucking with me, Rowanne?”
I laughed and shook my head.
He didn’t even try to stop the tears as they crept down his cheeks before pulling me into his solid chest. “Baby, I love you so much.” He whispered, then turned to our confused guests. “Ladies and gents, we’re pregnant!”
The End.
Acknowledgments
No work of fiction is ever complete as it dribbles from the mind and lands on the page. There are many small parts that go to make up the whole, and for the whole of this project, I owe my gratitude to the individuals, who most certainly, “Had My Back!”
First and foremost. To my creator, for inspiring me daily. To my family who take second place, after being my all for so long; it’s my turn now! For the people who started me on this road; you know who you are, and I thank you. For my beta readers, especially you, Lucy. The long conversations have been noted. I may still need that pep talk again! For all of my friends around the world: Todd, Aurora, Donna, Conner, and too many more to mention!
To those who believe in me, I couldn’t help but to stretch my dreams to meet your expectations of me. If I have you behind me, I will never fear the darkness that comes with my indecisions.
“Patience is an art: an art-form that must be mastered. Once mastered, the rewards are more than worth their weight in gold. If you’re told that you can’t, strive harder to prove them wrong. Do it for yourself.” S.A.
About the Author
Sara Allen
Born in London to Jamaican parents, she studied History of Art and Archaeology, at the School of Oriental Studies, part of the University of London.
Writing is a passion that took years, and courage to realize. She currently has a few novels in publication, but always strives to stretch herself that little bit further. Each new completed project is a labor of love that stretches her imagination to dig deeper. She says, “If there are ten projects unwritten, there are more that float away in sleep.”
Becoming a writer was a milestone that she had always hoped to accomplish, and she is extremely grateful to all the readers, old and new, for the opportunity to introduce them to the worlds her mind creates.
You can find her at;
http://sabauthor.com
http://inspiredmindseditions.wordpress.com
https://web.facebook.com/SAB1210/
https://twitter.com/SAB1210
Also on Amazon, LinkedIn & Instagram
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Facebook for news and updates.
Also by Sara Allen
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