A Season For Hope (A Fairhope Christmas Novella)

by Cannon, Sarra

  “We can study together,” he says.

  I turn my head to the side and cut my eyes toward him. “You’re too distracting,” I say. “We won’t get anything done.”

  He laughs. “I swear,” he says. “We’ll just study and I promise not to distract you too much. Unless we’re taking a break.”

  I think about it for a second. It’s definitely tempting. I want to spend more time with him before Christmas break. I don’t even know if he’s going home for the break or sticking around, but I don’t want to miss out on seeing him just so I can study.

  “Okay,” I say. “We’ll try it for one night and see how it goes.”

  “Tomorrow night?”

  “I get off work at four,” I say.

  “Perfect,” he says. “I’ll come by the cafe and pick you up. We can head back to my place if you want.”

  “I want,” I say.

  Judd pulls me into another kiss, and for the first time since Preston and I broke up, I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I’m practically floating when I walk into my apartment late that evening.

  Monica is lying on the couch in her pj’s watching TV and eating popcorn. She has all the lights off except the strings of Christmas lights we’ve tacked to the walls.

  She eyes me curiously. “What in the world happened to you?” she asks. She grabs the remote and mutes the television. “You look like the cat who ate the canary.”

  I cannot control the huge smile that spreads across my face. I lean against the front door and sigh. “Nothing. Just the most magical, surprising night of my life.”

  Her eyes nearly pop out of her head. She clears a spot for me beside her on the couch and pats her hand on the cushions. “Spill it,” she demands.

  I move to sit beside her and am not surprised to see she’s watching old episodes of Firefly. Again. She’s obsessed with that show.

  “Judd came in to The Cup today,” I say.

  She bounces beside me and when I look over, her lips are pressed together so tight, they’re turning white.

  “At first, it was a complete disaster,” I say. “I spilled coffee all over myself and had to change into the boss’s oversized t-shirt. I kept tripping over chairs and knocking things over every time I saw him glance my way. I thought for sure this guy must think I’m a lunatic. I expected him to leave any second and never come back.”

  Monica turns her body all the way toward me. She’s shoving popcorn in her mouth like I’m the best entertainment she’s had in weeks. “And?”

  “And he never left,” I say. I know I’m blushing because my entire face is red hot. I can’t stop smiling. “He stayed until we were the only two left in the cafe, and when we finally started talking, he asked me out.”

  “Ahhh!” Monica nearly spills her popcorn as she throws her arms around my neck. “This is awesome. When are you guys going out?”

  “We already did. Sort of,” I say. I tell her all about our hotdogs and our walk to the pier. I leave out the bit about his brother, because he seemed kind of protective about that information, but I tell her everything else.

  “I knew something like this would happen,” she says. “You just needed to get out of the house and put yourself back on the market.”

  “I’m not a house,” I say. “It’s not like I was looking for someone new.”

  “That’s what they say, though, isn’t it? Love comes along when you least expect it.”

  I roll my eyes. “This isn’t love, Mon. We just met.”

  Still, there’s a tingle that goes through me from head to toe just thinking about Judd and the possibility of a future with someone new. It might not be love, but it’s definitely like.

  “That’s how it starts for everyone, though,” she says. “When are you going to see him again? Did you guys talk about it?”

  “Tomorrow,” I say, smiling again. “We’re going to have a study date.”

  She laughs. “Right. A study date.”

  I push her with my elbow. “We’re really going to study,” I say in my own defense. “If I fail my exams, I’m going to be on probation. I really can’t afford that.”

  “Well, I’m very happy for you,” she says. “This is exactly what the doctor ordered. If you had spent one more day moping around this apartment, I was going to have to move out or kick you out, one or the other.”

  I scrunch my nose. “Was it really that bad?”

  “Worse,” she says. “But it’s really good to see you smiling again.”

  I grab a handful of her popcorn and she turns the sound back on. While we watch TV, I think about how good it feels to be smiling again and how quickly Judd was able to turn me from depression to happiness.

  At the same time, though, I can’t help but wonder if I’m making a big mistake getting involved with someone new. What if he breaks my heart just like Preston did? Would I be able to survive another bad breakup so soon?

  I know I’m getting way ahead of myself. One date doesn’t make him my boyfriend, but I already feel like I’m falling for him. It’s all happening way too fast, and I’m terrified if I go any deeper, I’ll just be opening myself up to a pain my heart can’t handle.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Work seems to drag by the next day. Every single time the bell over the door rings, my heart leaps and I look up hoping to see Judd walk through.

  And every time it isn’t him, my heart sinks back down into my chest.

  I’m scared of how much I want to see him. Is this normal for a new relationship? Can I even call what we have so far a relationship? I have no idea what I’m doing or how this is supposed to go, and I feel like a lost puppy.

  We haven’t even talked about what we’re looking for right now. Maybe he isn’t interested in a relationship. I know medical school can be extremely tough and he said he has to work extra hours for his scholarship project. Does he even have time for a real girlfriend or is this just a fling?

  Of course, if it was a fling, he would have slept with me that first night in the bar instead of trying to slow things down.

  These are the neurotic thoughts occupying my mind throughout my shift. The closer it gets to my four o’clock shift end, the more neurotic and paranoid I become.

  What if he isn’t even coming? I don’t have his phone number or anything, so it would be easy for him to ditch me if he wanted to.

  By ten minutes to four, I’ve completely convinced myself he isn’t coming and that he doesn’t want to see me again. I must have done something last night to mess this whole thing up. And maybe he’s really not as good looking and sweet as I thought he was and he’s doing me a favor by blowing me off. That’s when the bell sounds and he finally walks in.

  I’m cleaning off a table in the far corner when he casually walks up to the counter and orders a caramel mocha. His eyes drift toward me and he winks.

  I almost pass out in a mix of relief and desire. Yeah, he’s definitely every bit as good looking as I remember. He’s wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a long-sleeve cotton t-shirt that shows off the defined muscles underneath. His hair is slightly wavier than I’ve seen it before, and I wonder if that’s because of the misty rain outside today. Whatever it is, I like it.

  “Hey,” he says, walking over to the table where I’m cleaning.

  “Hi,” I say back, feeling like a teenager with a new crush.

  “Are we still on for four?”

  Fuck yes.

  “Yeah, I just need a few minutes to cash out and clean up in the back,” I say. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

  He nods and takes a seat in an empty booth. He doesn’t have his backpack with him today, but he pulls a book out of his back pocket and opens it to a page marked with a tattered scrap of paper.

  I stare at the book cover as I make my way back to the kitchen. King. He’s reading Stephen King, my all-time favorite author. I nearly swoon as I turn the corner and disappear into the back room.

  He�
��s ruggedly handsome, loves The Beatles, reads books in his spare time, and still carries a sentimental blanket from his childhood in his car. He’s too perfect.

  Which means there has to be a catch, right? If something—or someone—seems too good to be true, it probably is. Or at least that’s what my mother has always told me. There has to be something wrong with him.

  I warn my heart to be careful. To hold back and put up walls to protect myself.

  But deep inside, I already know I’m in too deep. Just a few days with this guy and already I care about him more than I should. Whatever outer shell I had been keeping up around my heart, it broke that night while I was dancing. And when Judd appeared out of nowhere like a gift from the universe, he slipped inside to the place where I am most vulnerable.

  It’s way too late for being careful.

  Chapter Fifteen

  When we pull up to Judd’s apartment, I’m surprised to find he lives in the same complex as Preston. I can’t help but take a quick look around for Preston’s car. He always parks in the same spot just in front of his building, but the spot is empty and I breathe a sigh of relief.

  I don’t feel like facing him today.

  In the three weeks since we broke up, I’ve only run into Preston a handful of times, and every time I feel like the victim of a drive-by shooting.

  The first time was by far the worst. I had been crying for three days straight and was rushing to class. My hair was in a messy, knotted ponytail and I hadn’t had time to put on any makeup. Not even lipgloss. I was wearing a pair of yoga pants with a hole in the knee and a baggy sweatshirt. Normally I wouldn’t be caught dead looking like that in public, but I’d missed so many classes I knew I couldn’t afford to miss another. I woke up late and had no choice but to run out looking like a homeless person.

  So of course that was the day I ran into Preston. He looked gorgeous and happy and completely unaffected by our breakup.

  I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide, but by the time I saw him, it was too late. He’d already seen me and was making his way over to talk to me.

  I’ll never forget the look of pity in his eyes or the way he casually touched my elbow and asked if I was doing okay. I lied and said I was doing fine, but there was no way he believed me.

  I vowed then and there to a) avoid him at all costs until I could pull myself together and b) to always leave the house looking pristine and gorgeous, just in case.

  Still, even when I look perfect, nothing has been able to mask the sadness in my eyes.

  It’s gotten better with time, but the sadness returns every time he talks to me. I don’t want Judd to see that. I also don’t really know how I feel about Preston seeing me with another guy. No matter how much I like Judd, Preston was my heart for years and I don’t want to see him until I know I can look at him without feeling sad and broken.

  “Everything okay?” Judd asks as he pushes the door to his apartment open. He follows my gaze toward the parking lot and a hint of sadness crosses his features.

  Crap. He knows. Of course he knows. If he’s been living here, he surely knows who parks in that spot.

  “Yes, I’m fine,” I say, pushing past the awkward feeling in my stomach as I walk into his apartment.

  It’s definitely a bachelor’s apartment, but not as bad as it could be. The furnishings are sparse and there aren’t any pictures or anything on the white walls, but at least it’s not messy like most guys’ places. The only Christmas decoration is a sad looking little tree on the kitchen counter.

  “Welcome to my humble abode,” he says. “It’s not much, but it’s part of my scholarship, so it’s home for at least a few more years.”

  “It’s great,” I say. “Much nicer than my apartment.”

  Even with a roommate and a part-time job, I couldn’t afford to live on this side of town. The rent here is more than $1200 a month. I know because I really wanted to live closer to Preston and looked into it when he first got his own place.

  “I don’t know about that,” he says. “I don’t have much furniture here, but it’s comfortable and I like having the space.”

  “Do you live here alone?” From the looks of it, it’s a two-bedroom apartment, but I don’t see any signs of a roommate.

  “Yep,” he says. “I set up an office in the second bedroom, but I hardly ever use it. I prefer The Cup. Better view.”

  He smiles at me and I’m blushing again. How he can think I look good in my work uniform is beyond me. And just how long has he been noticing me?

  “Do you mind if I use your bathroom?” I ask.

  Unlike yesterday, today I came prepared. I brought a change of clothes so I wouldn’t be stuck in my t-shirt and black pants. Besides, when I get off work, I always stink of coffee.

  Without taking a shower,there’s not much I can do about the coffee smell since it’s in my hair and pretty much soaked into my pores, but at the very least I can change my clothes and put on some fresh makeup.

  “No problem,” he says. “Do you want some hot chocolate or something?”

  “Anything but coffee,” I say as I disappear into the bathroom with my bag.

  I move as quickly as I can, pulling my hair out of its long braid and brushing it. The braid has given it a bit of a pretty wave, so I decide to just put a quick clip in it to hold it out of my eyes, but leave it mostly down.

  I freshen my makeup and quickly change into a pair of jeans and a sweater that hugs my curves in all the right ways.

  I brush my teeth, stuff my dirty clothes deep into my bag and head back out into the living room.

  Judd is sitting at the small table in his living room. There are two steaming cups of hot chocolate sitting out and he has his books spread in front of him. He’s leaning over one of the books, a highlighter in his hand, his hair falling across his face.

  He’s so different from Preston and watching him now, it occurs to me all over again. Preston never wanted to study together. He said he preferred to study alone because I talked too much.

  Watching Judd now, I wonder how long it will take before I stop comparing him to Preston.

  So far, he seems to be a better match for me than Preston. I feel like I can be myself around Judd without all the pressure of trying so hard to make him happy. He’s just happy to simply be around me and that thought creates a beautiful new hope in my heart.

  Maybe Monica was right. Maybe there really is someone out there for me.

  Maybe he’s been right here in front of me this whole time.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Judd looks up and smiles.

  “Wow, you look great,” he says, standing. His eyes travel down the length of my body.

  He pushes his long dark-blond hair behind his ear and pulls out the empty chair across from him. “I made some hot chocolate, but there’s bottled water and soda in the fridge if you want something else.”

  He’s so nice to me, I can hardly stand it. I’m not used to this kind of attention at all. Not that Preston was a bad guy or anything, but he never really treated me like this. Most of Preston’s gestures came from extravagant gifts and flowers, particularly when he’d done something to upset me. Judd just seems to be a super nice guy all the time. It’s almost difficult to trust it. Like I’m waiting for him to suddenly turn all Mr. Hyde on me and start screaming at me for something stupid and irrational.

  I sit down and rummage through my backpack for the books I brought, then lay them out on the table along with my laptop.

  “What’s first?” he asks, then leans over the back of my chair. His hair falls down across my cheek and I inhale the scent of his shampoo. He smells woodsy and fresh, like he just showered moments before he picked me up.

  I shiver from his closeness, knowing that all I’d have to do is turn my head and our lips would almost touch.

  I clear my throat and try to concentrate on the material in front of me. Good guy or not, he’s hot and there’s something about him that makes my body tingle.

 
“Um, statistics?” It comes out as more of a question than an answer. Why do I always feel so nervous and mixed up around him? I’m either running into doors or knocking shit over. It’s a miracle he’s even interested in me at all. “You?”

  “Fundamentals of Immunology,” he says.

  I raise my eyebrows and suck in a breath. This guy is light-years ahead of me in the smarts department. Surely I can’t really be the kind of girl he’s looking for.

  “What year med student are you, anyway?”

  “First year,” he says. “I haven’t really been in Fairhope very long.”

  That would make him probably around twenty-two or twenty-three years old, I’m guessing. Still, he seems so much more mature than most of the guys I know. Maybe that comes partially from losing his brother.

  “You’re a junior, right?” he asks. He moves back around the table to sit down across from me.

  I relax slightly now that he’s not hovering over me with his lips practically within kissing distance.

  “Yeah,” I say. “And I’ll still be one this time next year if I don’t start studying. I’m honestly not exaggerating when I say I’m on the cusp of failing half my courses this semester.”

  I don’t elaborate on the fact that it’s more from my lack of going to class than it is my lack of understanding the subject matter.

  “Okay, I get it,” he says with a sly smile. “We better get to work. Would you rather listen to music or have it quiet in here?”

  I almost always study with my headphones in and my iPhone blasting music. “I like music, but if you like it quiet, I can just put my headphones in,” I say.

  “I like music, too,” he says. “I’ll just turn on one of my play-lists and you can let me know if you want to hear something else.”

  I nod and pretend not to stare as he fiddles with the stereo behind him. Still, he’s bent over and wearing a pair of very sexy jeans that show off his muscular legs and ass. How can I be expected to do anything but stare and drool?