The Liberty Girls

by Fiona Ford

Turning to Rose for help, she was astonished to see that her friend had gone and in her place stood a Red Cross volunteer. ‘Let me look at her please, love,’ the woman said in a sympathetic yet firm tone that brooked no argument.

  Wordlessly, Alice stood up and let the woman begin her work. It felt like forever that Alice watched the capable redhead perform the resuscitation routine on her sister and with each round Alice found herself bargaining with God. She vowed to be a better mother, a better employee, a more loyal sister, and most of all she vowed she would no longer fail Joy as she had done so recently by turning her back when it was clear her sister needed her more than ever. Joy had done some terrible things and hurt Alice to her very core, but Alice knew that Joy was also just a child, incapable of growing up – exactly like their father.

  As she continued to watch the volunteer work on Joy she felt as if she were about to fall when suddenly she felt two steadying hands on her shoulder. Turning around she saw Mary on one side of her and Flo on the other. In the background stood Dot, holding Arthur in her arms.

  With the girls she loved surrounding her, Alice felt strength bloom in her heart. When the Red Cross volunteer stood up with a grave look on her face, Alice knew she would need that strength more than ever. ‘I’m sorry, love, she’s gone,’ the woman said gently. ‘Was she a relative?’

  Alice nodded, the lump in her throat making it difficult to reply. ‘My sister.’

  ‘We’ll take care of her from here,’ the redhead said kindly. ‘Have you anyone who can take care of you?’

  With tears pooling in her eyes, Alice nodded again as she gestured towards Mary, Dot and Flo. ‘I’ve got my other sisters with me now.’

  With that the Red Cross volunteer smiled and arranged for Joy’s lifeless body to be transferred to the morgue.

  Once she was gone, Alice reached her hands out for her son, and silently Dot handed Arthur to her, only too aware of the comfort the baby would now bring.

  ‘I am so sorry,’ Mary said. ‘I can’t believe this.’

  ‘Neither can I,’ Flo said gravely. ‘Joy was so young; she had her whole life ahead of her. No matter the mistakes she made, she didn’t deserve this.’

  Alice lifted her head from Arthur’s and gazed tearfully at her friends. ‘She deserved a lot more than this, she deserved more than me. This is my fault. If only I’d been more patient, shown her the right path, been more forgiving, then maybe she wouldn’t have died tonight. Maybe she would be living in a farmhouse somewhere as a Land Girl, or married with children while her husband fought overseas. Either way, perhaps she would have been happy.’

  There was a loud snort as Dot stared at Alice with disgust in her eyes. ‘Alice Milwood, you stop that right now,’ she said firmly. ‘I know you’re upset and you’ve every right to be, you just lost your sister, but don’t you dare go rewriting history in your grief. You were mother, father, sister and friend to that girl. You got her out of trouble more times than most would have done and it’s not your fault Joy chose to go down her own path. You did all you could for her, Alice, you should be proud not ashamed.’

  ‘Dot’s right. If anyone should be sorry it’s me,’ said Rose timidly.

  Glancing up, Alice saw that their friend had now managed to rejoin them and her heart went out to her. The girl had clearly been patched up by the Red Cross. She leaned heavily on her white stick with her one good arm, while her other arm hung in a sling. As for the cuts and bruises on her face, Alice could see they had been cleaned and disinfected.

  Rose gestured at Mary, who soon got the hint and guided Rose to sit on a small patch of wall by the roadside.

  ‘Rose love, what have you got to be sorry for?’ Dot asked, peeling off her coat and placing it around Rose’s shoulders.

  Tears brimmed at Rose’s eyes but Alice could tell she was doing her best to remain strong.

  ‘For everything. For the way I treated you all, for the way I’ve behaved, for not reaching Joy fast enough. I’ve let you all down; I know I have.’

  With that Rose broke down, the tears that she been holding at bay cascading down her face as fast as waterfalls, great sobs convulsing her body.

  ‘Darlin’,’ Alice said gently, putting her own grief on pause for a moment, ‘this is not your fault. You were brave when nobody else was. You’re a heroine – surely you see that?’

  ‘No, no, no,’ Rose wailed, rocking backwards and forwards in horror on the wall. ‘I’ve let Joy down. She’s dead because I didn’t get there faster. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew Joy would be inside somewhere and her cries helped me find her. Then when I found her, she was silent. If only I wasn’t blind, I would have found her quicker, reached her sooner, maybe she wouldn’t have inhaled so much smoke. I’m so sorry.’

  ‘Listen to me, Rose,’ Flo growled so suddenly her voice sent shockwaves of surprise down Alice’s spine. ‘I don’t want to hear one more word out of you about how you’ve let people down because of your sight. You marched into that building with no thought for your own safety and you tried to save your friend. Don’t you think that takes guts?’

  ‘That’s right,’ Alice agreed. ‘My own husband ran away and he’d slept with Joy the night before so what does that say?’

  At that Rose looked at Alice in astonishment. ‘Joy slept with Luke?’

  Alice nodded. ‘Yes. I found them together. It’s ironic that was the last time I saw her. I’ll never get the chance to make things right with her now.’

  Now Rose was on her feet; she reached out an arm and placed it comfortingly on Alice’s shoulder. ‘I didn’t know she would do that. I knew she was upset with you after the other night, and I knew she wanted revenge. I’m ashamed to say I encouraged her.’ Rose’s voice faltered. ‘I was just so furious with you all, especially you.’

  Alice stared at her friend, aghast. ‘Me? Why?’

  ‘Because that night you took something from me I thought I would never feel again – happiness. I knew stealing was wrong, but it made me feel so good. As though life could be exciting again. I felt invincible; then you came and spoiled it all. That’s why I encouraged Joy when she started going on about getting back at you for showing her up in front of Shirley, but I was so wrong, and I’ve realised that, I’ve been so wrong about so much.’

  As Rose broke off she wept some more and this time the girls didn’t try to stop her. Instead they stayed with her and supported her until finally she had cried herself out.

  ‘You know, I didn’t mean what I said, Alice.’ Rose hiccuped as she wiped her face with the back of her free hand. ‘I don’t resent you or hate you girls. I don’t know why I said that. I wanted to lash out I suppose. I was jealous; I resented the fact none of you lost your sight when I did.’

  ‘Perfectly understandable, darlin’,’ Dot sympathised. ‘There isn’t a saint among us who wouldn’t feel the same.’

  ‘I don’t know how you were so forgiving at all,’ Flo marvelled. ‘I mean, I would have wanted Mrs Matravers to pay immediately.’

  ‘But she has paid, hasn’t she?’ Rose said sadly. ‘And yet that still wasn’t enough for me. I still had to take it out on you girls, my wonderful friends who have always been there for me.’

  ‘And we always will be,’ Mary said softly, ‘you don’t get rid of us that easily.’

  A ghost of a smile played on Rose’s lips before she spoke. ‘I think I just wanted to feel something different. When I met Joy, she made me realise I could be anything I wanted to be. I stopped hating my life and myself so much; she showed me another way. Joy said that life had already treated me badly, so what was the point in being well behaved?’

  ‘Was that when she got you to pickpocket?’ Alice asked.

  Rose nodded. ‘Joy needed the money for Shirley Allbright, and I wanted to feel a release, I wanted to experience something other than the pure misery I had been feeling for months. I felt so worthless, so useless, as if my entire life had been for nothing. Nobody would want me.’

  ‘I
s that why you’ve kept Tommy away all this time?’ Mary asked, the truth suddenly dawning on her.

  ‘Yes,’ Rose replied in a small voice. ‘He won’t want me if he sees me like this. I don’t want to be a burden to him, not when he’s already coping with so much so far from home.’

  ‘You’ve got to put yourself first for once,’ Alice said firmly. ‘Tommy loves you. He’s not going to leave you because you’re partially sighted.’

  ‘That’s what Joy said. And she said that even if he did I should have some fun first. So she took me drinking and gambling. We went and courted GI soldiers – well, Joy did, I just accepted their drinks. We went dancing and I realised I was so much more than a blind girl, I was Rose Harper again.’

  ‘And how do you feel now?’ Alice asked cautiously. ‘Do you still want to harm yourself?’

  ‘No. If anything tonight has made me realise how wrong I got it all. You girls have always been here, and I realised that if one of you had lost your life in that fire I would be lost without you. I am so sorry for all I have done wrong. Please will you forgive me?’

  Alice kissed Rose on the cheek, and wrapped an arm around her. ‘Darlin’, you’re our friend and you always will be. There is nothing to forgive.’

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  Dressed in their finest black, the Liberty girls gathered at the church in Kensal Green to say goodbye to Joy just ten days later. Following the devastating blaze, Alice had gone from acceptance to denial as she struggled to come to terms with what had happened to her sister. She had woken frequently in the middle of the night, heart pounding, brow dripping with sweat as images of her sister dying on the pavement became too much for her tortured mind.

  In fact, Joy, along with two other young girls from the Mayfair House staff, had died from smoke inhalation. The hotel had been devastated at the tragic loss of such young lives. It turned out that the fire had started in the kitchen but had been impossible to contain and had spread quickly. The hotel manager had contacted Alice and said that once the hotel was rebuilt they wanted to name a suite after Joy as a tribute.

  Alice had of course agreed, thanking them for their kindness, not mentioning how ironic it was that they wanted to name a suite after Joy when she had never been sweet in her entire life.

  The grief Alice felt enveloped her every single day, the anguish of it taking hold of her in a vice-like grip without warning. She could be busy serving a customer, or at home caring for Arthur, and suddenly she would feel the sadness sweep through her, threatening to throw her entirely off course. The strength of these feelings terrified her, but thankfully she had her precious Liberty girls, who had been a tower of strength since Joy’s death. Together they had rallied around, ensuring Alice didn’t have anything too taxing to deal with on the shop floor, and were always with her during her lunch or tea breaks so she didn’t have to be alone. They also gently helped remind her of the things that continued to make life worthwhile: her wonderful son, of course, and her job.

  Alice wasn’t sure she would have got through the last few dark days without them, and now she was hoping to count on them again as she prepared to say goodbye to her sister for the final time.

  The one thing she hadn’t counted on was receiving a letter from her father that morning. She had sent him a telegram informing him of Joy’s death, but hadn’t expected a reply, so it had come as something of a surprise to find an envelope written in a hand that was familiar but which she momentarily couldn’t place – until she checked the postmark and saw it had been mailed from overseas.

  Her hand had trembled as she ripped open the envelope and taken in the few lines her father had written.

  4th August 1942

  Hello Alice,

  I’d ask how you are but following your telegram I can only imagine. Alice, sweetheart, your note knocked me for six. I can’t believe it – my precious little girl. I was so proud of her, she’s a loss to the entire world. I have no doubt she’ll be sorely missed, especially by you, my girl. You two always belonged together, it’s why I left you and her together, because you loved the bones of each other and I knew it was the right thing to do.

  Still, knowing that Joy did everything she could to uphold the Harris name – that gives me strength. Shirley wrote to me the other day and told me how well Joy was doing with helping her out and getting the old business up and running. Said she had a little blind apprentice who was coming along nicely too.

  I know you always thought you were too good for what I did, but you ate the food that my spoils put on the table and you never complained neither when my business endeavours put clothes on your back.

  Think about it, love – you could do worse than go into business with Shirley. She’d get you started, and in time your boy could take over the business and the Harrises could rule the streets of South London again.

  I miss you, sweetheart, don’t be a stranger,

  Your loving father

  As she read through the note two or three times, Alice’s blood began to boil – so Joy had used Rose. It was sick. Alice shook her head in sadness – she knew she would never tell Rose. She might have flung the accusation at her during that fateful night but Rose would have thought she was just lashing out. The truth would break her heart.

  She turned back to the note. What a fool Jimmy was, she thought angrily. He had rewritten history, having no idea what his ‘business endeavours’ had cost his girls. That bit about leaving them together because they adored each other was nothing but fantasy. Jimmy Harris had done what suited himself without a thought for anyone else, just as he always did. As for starting the family business up again, with Arthur one day at the helm – the idea made Alice sick to her stomach. This man had never been a father to her, let alone a loving one; she and Joy, though it was sad she never realised it, had been better off without him.

  Now, as she stood in the packed church, Mary and Dot either side of her for support, Alice did her best to forget her father and instead focus on the vicar standing at the altar delivering his eulogy. He had asked her a lot about Joy in the days leading up to the service, and Alice found that despite recounting the criminal, selfish and downright reckless behaviour Joy had often demonstrated throughout her life, there had been many instances to tell him about when Joy had also been a kind and thoughtful sister and friend.

  Alice found that she revelled in the chance to relive happy childhood memories, such as the time when she and Joy had delivered food parcels to their elderly neighbour, Joy even saving some of the food on her own dinner plate so the old lady wouldn’t go without. That gesture had moved Alice, and proved to her without doubt that her sister wasn’t wholly bad, she had simply been misguided.

  Looking around the church as the opening bars to ‘Jerusalem’ sounded Alice tried to find Shirley Allbright in the crowd, but was glad she could see no sign of the woman Joy had mistakenly thought was her friend. She had never belonged in Joy’s life; she didn’t belong in her death now either.

  Turning back to the front she concentrated on the hymn instead. This had been one of her sister’s favourites and Alice intended to sing her heart and lungs out, wanting her sister to know she would forever be in her heart.

  As the service drew to a close and the vicar led everyone outside, she said a little prayer for Joy. ‘I’ll never forget you, sweet sister,’ she whispered.

  Alice stepped out into the bright August sunshine, the cheeriness of the day in stark contrast to the pain she felt in her heart as she took in the sight of her sister’s final resting place. Her legs felt heavy and the knot in her stomach grew ever larger as she realised this was the moment her sister would be committed to the earth and she really would never see her again.

  For a moment Alice stood there, looking up at the sky and wondering where she would find the strength to do such a thing. She had lost her mother, her father, her husband and now her sister, who at just twenty-two had barely had a chance to make anything of herself. As the breeze fluttered through the tre
es, Alice turned away and found her gaze came to rest upon her friends standing by the burial plot, encouraging smiles on their faces. She knew that it would be her girls who would help her find the courage for one of the most difficult moments of her life.

  ‘You all right, darlin’?’ Flo whispered as Joy’s body was lowered into the ground.

  ‘I will be.’ She nodded as the vicar gestured for her to throw a clod of earth on to the coffin.

  ‘It was a beautiful service,’ Rose murmured as she took her own turn at throwing a handful of soil. ‘I never knew all that stuff about Joy. She was a good girl at heart, Alice.’

  ‘Rose is right,’ Mary said in hushed tones as she joined the girls. ‘I think Joy would have been very grateful for all you have done for her today.’

  Alice smiled weakly as she balanced Arthur on her hip; he had been incredibly quiet throughout the service. ‘I hope so. I don’t feel as though I was very kind to her at the end.’

  ‘And some people don’t deserve to have kindness at the end,’ Dot said firmly. ‘Just because they’re dead don’t mean you have to start telling lies about ’em. Joy was a liability and she did you plenty of wrong turns. I’m not saying she was all bad, but don’t go round making out she was a saint when you think back on her either.’

  As all the girls turned to stare at Dot in disbelief at what they perceived to be sheer heartlessness, Alice simply roared with laughter. ‘You’re a tonic, Dorothy Hanson, you really are.’

  Walking towards the exit, Alice braced herself for her final duty: thanking everyone for coming and saying goodbye, when Dot’s cry cut across her thoughts.

  ‘What the hell’s he doing here?’

  Alice turned to follow Dot’s gaze and realised she was looking at Jack Capewell. As her eyes roamed across his figure she felt her stomach flip. How handsome he looked in his uniform.

  ‘I’ll just go and see what he wants,’ she murmured. ‘See you girls at the gate.’