Belle

by Lesley Pearse

  ‘No. She wanted to know who you were and I explained that, but I steered clear of other things you’d told me, because she wasn’t strong enough last night to be told about the fire, or her mother’s apparent indifference. You are the one who should tell her about the fire. Hopefully you can gloss over about her mother.’

  Noah nodded. ‘I think the fire was probably a blessing in disguise. Belle will have no reminders about what she saw in the old place, and she’ll have a real home with Mog, Garth and Jimmy.’

  ‘I think it’s a little unrealistic to imagine she’ll pick up the pieces with him,’ Etienne said tartly.

  Noah looked at Etienne and laughed. ‘Do I detect a jealous note?’

  ‘Bien sûr, je ne suis pas jaloux,’ Etienne retorted.

  Noah laughed again. By slipping into his native tongue Etienne had proved he had feelings for Belle.

  ‘No, of course you aren’t jealous! How could you be?’

  Noah was rewarded by seeing Etienne blush. He was pretty sure his blushes were rarer than hen’s teeth.

  ‘We’d better go in and see Belle now,’ Noah said. ‘And then you ought to go and get some sleep before you keel over.’

  Etienne was pleased to see Belle looking a hundred times better than she had the night before. Her eyes were brighter, the dark circles that had been around them were gone, and the bruise on her cheek was less livid.

  ‘This is Noah Bayliss, my Doctor Watson,’ he said with a wide smile. ‘You were hardly in the mood for introductions last time you met.’

  ‘I understand I have a great deal to thank you for, Mr Bayliss,’ she said. ‘Etienne told me you’ve been to Paris several times searching for me.’

  ‘Please call me Noah,’ he said with a smile. ‘And no thanks are necessary; to see you now looking so much better is all the thanks I need.’

  ‘Now, sit down and tell me all about Mog,’ she said, and there was excitement in her voice and eyes.

  ‘I’m going back to the Mirabeau,’ Etienne said, turning towards the door. ‘I believe you may be able to leave here later today or tomorrow, so I’ll bring you some clothes when I return.’

  ‘Give Gabrielle my best wishes,’ she said. ‘And tell her I am indebted to her for finding you.’

  Noah pulled a chair up to her bed once Etienne had gone. ‘Did you know he has been outside your door for the last forty-eight hours?’ he said.

  Belle looked surprised. ‘But why? No one was going to harm me here.’

  ‘He was afraid you’d have nightmares.’

  ‘I seem to have the ability to recover from unpleasant things rather quickly,’ she said. ‘I slept very well last night, I didn’t even dream. And I woke this morning feeling much better. But enough about me, tell me all about how you met Mog and my mother. I understand Millie was a friend of yours, so it must have been awful to hear how she died.’

  ‘After you disappeared, Mog found out where I lived and came to see me. I was an investigator for an insurance company at the time, and Mog thought that meant I would be able to find you. I hadn’t heard what had happened to Millie until she told me.’

  ‘Didn’t my mother come to you?’

  Noah heard the note of hurt in her voice. ‘I think Mog acted on her own initiative, and someone had to stay home in case you returned or somebody called with news of you.’

  He went on to explain that he really had no experience of finding a missing person. ‘The police didn’t take it very seriously and Mog was distraught. But Jimmy fired me up to want to find you; without him I might have just backed away.’

  ‘Jimmy helped?’ She looked surprised and touched. ‘But how did you get to meet him? And how is he? Is he still with his uncle at the Ram’s Head?’

  ‘He practically runs it now, and he’s a fine young man, one of the best. Without him I feel Mog might have fallen apart over your disappearance. And he and his Uncle Garth saved your mother’s life in the fire.’

  ‘Fire?’

  Noah saw the horror come back in her eyes and wondered at the wisdom of telling her this so soon after her ordeal.

  ‘Yes, your old home was burned down. Mog raised the alarm and got all the girls out safely, but Annie was trapped in her room. Garth and Jimmy rescued her through the window. Then they took both women back to the Ram’s Head.’

  ‘Was the fire an accident?’

  ‘We think Kent got someone to set it,’ Noah said. ‘But of course we couldn’t prove that, and such is the man’s power that the police took little interest.’

  Belle’s eyes filled with tears. ‘It must have been so sad for them losing their home and all their belongings. But why did Garth take them to his place? He was said to be an unpleasant man.’

  ‘Like most people he can be something of a surprise,’ Noah said, and he reached out and dried her eyes with her sheet. ‘I’ve got to know him well in the last two years, and underneath that brusque exterior he’s a kind and decent man. Of course Mog has turned him and the Ram’s Head round since she became his housekeeper.’

  Belle looked astounded.

  ‘It gets better,’ Noah said with a grin. ‘He and Mog want to get married. And when they get my telegram to say I’m bringing you home they are going to be dancing with joy and I’m sure the wedding will be a double celebration with you there.’

  ‘Oh, Noah!’ she exclaimed, her eyes filling with happy tears. ‘That is such wonderful news. Mog deserves all the happiness in the world. I thought she was destined to become an old maid.’

  ‘Love and being wanted has made her blossom,’ Noah said gleefully. ‘All that was missing from her complete happiness was finding you.’

  Belle asked many excited questions about Mog and Jimmy, but then her face clouded over.

  ‘You haven’t said anything about my mother.’

  ‘She’s doing just fine,’ Noah said hastily and went on to tell Belle about Annie’s boarding houses. ‘She hasn’t fallen out with Mog, they’ve just gone in different directions. Really, the fire was the best thing that could’ve happened to them both. They are respectable now, living comfortably. Work has even started on a new building where the old one was. Annie’s Place is just a distant memory for most people around there.’

  ‘And I’m a distant memory to Mother too?’

  Noah took Belle’s hand in his. ‘You must know Annie is incapable of articulating her feelings,’ he said gently. ‘That doesn’t mean she has none. I talked to her at length one day and because she was so upset about your disappearance, she told me about her past. She too was forced into prostitution when she was even younger than you. She is badly scarred by it, yet she kept you, and let Mog give you the mothering she felt she was incapable of. But I know she loved you, even if she couldn’t always show it.’

  ‘But she hasn’t been frantic about me?’

  Noah shrugged. ‘She is a deep woman, Belle. It’s difficult to read her. Mog, to all intents and purposes, is your true mother, Annie has always known that. But I think that now you have so much more knowledge about the world she brought you up in, you should be able to see evidence that she did her best for you.’

  Belle sniffed. Noah felt it would be best to leave it there for her to mull over.

  ‘How do you feel about seeing Jimmy again?’ he asked.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said with a glum expression. ‘We were just innocent children really when we met. I liked him a great deal too. But I’m not that same girl any more, am I?’

  She looked so sad that a lump came up in Noah’s throat.

  ‘We’ve all changed,’ he said. ‘I was such a prig when I met Millie, but through the last two years I’ve learned not to make judgments about people, or the way they live. Jimmy has grown in every way, even Garth has mellowed.’

  ‘But Jimmy will be hanging on to the memory of me as I was, just as I have of him. We won’t be able to go back to that point.’

  ‘No, you won’t. But in all the excitement of you being welcomed home, and Mog and Garth
’s wedding, maybe you’ll discover a new starting point.’

  ‘Etienne told me you liked Lisette,’ she said. ‘Can I hope for something to come of that? She was so kind to me.’

  ‘Gabrielle has gone out there today to visit. They are old friends, you see. Along with telling her you are safe, she hopes to make some arrangements for us to meet. It would be folly for me to call there, the people Lisette is afraid of might hear of it. But the last time I saw Lisette I did offer to get her and her son away to safety. Gabrielle will tell her that offer is still open.’

  ‘Then I hope she takes you up on it.’

  Noah smirked. ‘Etienne said I should go home and marry a girl from the same background as me.’

  ‘So you can leave her at home and gallivant all over the place like he does,’ she retorted.

  Noah looked at her in surprise. ‘He hasn’t told you about his wife and children?’

  ‘No, why should he?’

  ‘They died in a fire last year,’ Noah said. ‘He doesn’t know if it was arson or an accident. But he believes it was set deliberately because he left the organization he used to work for.’

  Belle blanched. ‘How terrible! Poor Etienne. I know he loved them a great deal.’

  ‘He doesn’t like to talk about it and of course I didn’t know him before. But I’d say this is why he was so committed to finding you, and why he’s prepared to name names and stand as a witness.’

  Belle was so stunned by the news of Etienne’s family dying that she couldn’t speak. She knew enough about men to know his family was his world, or he might well have taken advantage of her on the ship when she tried to get him to seduce her.

  He clearly didn’t tell her about the tragedy himself because he wanted to concentrate all his energy and sympathy on her. Such kindness in the face of his own pain was almost unbearable. She had been rescued, she would go home to a good life with her family, but he would be left alone with only memories of his.

  Noah looked at Belle’s stricken face and not for the first time he wondered if there was more between her and Etienne than they’d said. But it wasn’t appropriate to ask, he’d done enough damage for one day in giving her that news. There was nothing further he could tell her about the folk back home in England either, so he thought it better to go rather than make small talk. Besides, he had notes to be written up properly so that he had a decent record of what had gone on here in the last few days. There was also the telegram to send to Mog.

  He told Belle that he must go and she looked at him blankly for a moment. ‘Oh, yes. Thank you for coming to see me. I hope you work something out with Lisette.’

  ‘And I hope you are well enough to leave here very soon.’

  As the door closed behind Noah, Belle began to cry again as she thought of how comforting Etienne had been to her, and how quickly he must have come to her aid when Gabrielle had sent word to him.

  Could that mean he held feelings for her? He’d said he remembered how beautiful she looked that last night on the ship. Had he also remembered those kisses they shared in the narrow bunk?

  For two years now she’d conjured up memories of Etienne whenever she’d felt sad and lonely and even, if she was completely honest, when she was with her clients. It was of course shameful of her to hope that maybe they could have a future together just after hearing about such a terrible tragedy, but why had fate brought them together again if not for that?

  Chapter Thirty-five

  ‘You promise to write to me? And come to England soon?’ Belle begged Etienne.

  They were at the Gare du Nord, on the platform by the Calais train. Noah was already aboard with their luggage, giving them the opportunity to say their goodbyes without him looking on.

  The station was extremely busy and very noisy with the sounds of steam engines, luggage carts being wheeled and people shouting to make themselves heard. But Belle was oblivious to everything but Etienne as he held her hands and looked down at her.

  She wanted to lock the memory of his face into her mind for all time. Those blue eyes which could be as cold as the Atlantic Ocean sometimes, yet held the warmth and gaiety of New Orleans when he looked at her. His angular cheekbones, the curve of his generous mouth. She wanted to remove his hat and ruffle up his fair hair because she liked that boyish look he had when he first got up in the mornings.

  Belle had been forced to stay in the nursing home longer than expected as she developed sickness and a high temperature. The doctor said it was shock, but she thought it was anxiety that Pascal might have made her pregnant. But fortunately her monthlies arrived a couple of days late and she soon recovered. The scar on her stomach had healed well, but she avoided looking at it; she didn’t want any reminders of what Pascal had done to her.

  But it had been Etienne’s visits that had brought on her full recovery. He would come in with pastries, fruit or some other little treat and sit beside her bed and tell her things he’d read in the newspapers that day. She found herself telling him some of the funnier stories about the girls at Martha’s, and he told her tales about some of the villains he’d known in the past. He did eventually speak about the fire, and how low he’d sunk afterwards, but he was keener to talk about his plans for his little farm, and to get her to talk about her dream of having her own hat shop.

  Mostly, however, they talked about inconsequential things, the sights they’d seen together in New York, books they’d read and other places they’d like to see. He was so easy to be with, he didn’t fire questions at her, didn’t ask what she was thinking. And he never gave her the idea that he was growing bored in her company.

  She finally got to see Paris in the spring too, for once she was allowed to go back to the Mirabeau, Etienne had taken her out sight-seeing.

  Paris had been grey and wintry in all her time there, but now trees were bright with pink or white blossom, and the sun shone down on flower beds alight with red and yellow tulips. People had abandoned their heavy, drab winter clothing, and it was good to see them strolling along the tree-lined boulevards, the ladies in elegant pastel dresses and lovely spring-like hats. Even the gentlemen sported lighter-coloured suits.

  They’d enjoyed a boat trip on the Seine and a walk in the Bois de Boulogne, seen Versailles and been up the Eiffel Tower. It felt almost as if they were courting, the way other couples all around them were.

  But Belle was only too aware she couldn’t ever hope for that kind of sweet relationship, not after all she had done. She heard girls giggling and squealing on the platform at the top of the Eiffel Tower. She’d noted the way their men held their waists protectively as they looked down at the panoramic view of Paris so far below. She could giggle just as they did, Etienne could hold her the same way, but the sum total of all they knew about the seamier side of life prevented an innocent romance.

  ‘I will write, but I warn you my written English is not good,’ Etienne said. ‘But it is not wise for me to come to England. I will always be a reminder of the past and that is not good for you.’

  Belle looked at him in consternation. She knew by the break in his voice that his heart was saying something quite different to his words.

  ‘But I need you,’ she pleaded, her eyes filling with tears. ‘Are you telling me you want me to forget you?’

  ‘You must try, little one,’ he said. ‘As I must try too, for I know I am not the man you need.’

  The guard blew his whistle then to warn everyone the train was leaving. Noah yelled from the train window that Belle was to hurry.

  ‘You must go. Your family awaits you in England,’ Etienne said.

  She wanted to stamp her feet and refuse to go until he admitted he loved her and promised that they could be together in a few weeks. But she sensed by the sadness in his eyes that he would never say that, for he believed he was doing the right thing for her.

  ‘Then just say one last thing in French to me,’ she asked, standing on tiptoe to kiss him on the lips.

  He caught hold of her fac
e between his two hands and kissed her back with unbearable sweetness. ‘Je défie les incendies, les inondations, et même l’enfer pour être avec vous,’ he whispered as he let her go. ‘Now, the train. Go!’

  Belle began to move towards the carriage door where Noah was standing beckoning frantically. She turned to look one last time at Etienne. ‘Au revoir, mon héros,’ she said, and saw that his eyes were swimming with tears, just like hers.

  ‘Belle, come now!’ Noah yelled as the guard waved his flag for the train to leave.

  Etienne had to bundle her into the train as it began to move. She leaned out of the window and blew him a kiss. He ran alongside the train saying something she couldn’t hear, and the smoke belching from the engine almost hid his face.

  She waved until he was just a dot in the distance, and only then was she ready to join Noah.

  He had found an empty compartment. As she came through the door he laughingly said how he had strewn their belongings around to deter anyone from joining them. But then he noticed she was crying and handed her his handkerchief.

  Belle mopped her eyes and wiped specks of soot from her cheeks. ‘Putting my head out of the window always makes my eyes water,’ she said by way of an explanation.

  ‘My eyes water at odd times too, especially saying goodbye to people I like,’ Noah said with a wry smile.

  It took every ounce of determination Belle had not to break down and tell Noah she loved Etienne and she didn’t think she could bear to go back to London. But Noah was full of excitement at the family reunion ahead of them. It wasn’t fair to make him disappointed or worried, not after the lengths he’d gone to to find her. And it would be cruel to Annie, Mog and Jimmy who were probably frantically preparing for her joyful return.

  There was Gabrielle too. She had seen how much the older woman cared for her this morning when they said their goodbyes, and she had such high hopes for Belle’s future back in England.

  Belle owed her so much; in fact, but for Gabrielle’s actions her body might have been hauled out of the Seine or lain in a shallow grave for all eternity. Yet it wasn’t just gratitude she felt towards this woman who said so little but had done so much for her. Gabrielle had shown her that it was possible for even the most damaged people to start a new and better life. She told Belle about her time as a whore, about the man cutting her throat and Lisette taking care of her and young Henri. She’d had heartbreak too when the artist she loved died; she said she would have taken her own life too if she hadn’t had Henri to care for.