by Silla Webb
“I’m worried ‘bout Savannah. I think her husband may be abusin’ her, man.” Colton shifts beneath me, his body going rigid at the mention of abuse.
“What the hell makes you think that, Ashton?” He barks out loudly.
Luke shakes his head, pinching his eyes shut as he tries to compose his raging emotions. “Man, I can see right through that woman’s heartache. When I look at her, all I see is a woman lost at sea, only a tattered raft holdin’ her afloat. But when I look into her soul, she pleads with me to save her from the wreckage and pull her back to shore.”
Colton cocks an eyebrow up to me in confusion and I shrug because I have no answer to Luke’s madness. The anguish that blurs his piercing blue eyes is heart wrenching. Luke has that Superman x-ray vision that can see past the mask and all the layers that one hides beneath. He is very empathetic and hurts right along with you if you’re hurting. If he thinks something is going on with Savannah, he’s seen enough of her heartache to feel that way.
Panic and grief rattles through me. I’m her sister…shouldn’t I have noticed abuse? My mind flickers to our girls’ day out and the memory of Savannah wincing each time I tried to embrace her clenches me. “How didn’t I see any of this?” I ask through a muttered sob. I bury my face into the nook of Colton’s neck, and cry silently.
How do I identify her pain and suffering?
How do I save her?
Why hasn’t she reached out to me?
What the hell do I do now?
“Carly, I didn’t mean to get you upset, beauts. I’m genuinely worried about Savannah. I don’t know her enough to intervene, which is why I wanted to let you know what I’m seein’. I can’t even sleep at night I’ve been so worried about her.”
“We’ll get to the bottom of it Luke. Carly works so much she doesn’t get to see Savannah as much as she’d like, so she obviously had no idea anything was happenin’. But I promise you, if I find out that bastard is hittin’ her,” Colton pauses, his heart rate thudding harder against his chest as he speaks through gritted teeth, “he’ll never raise his hand to another woman again.”
“Just check in on her, please. Let me know how she is. If there is anything I can do, I’ll do it.” Luke stands to leave and I jump up from Colton’s lap to hug him. Colton grunts in frustration, but Luke is hurting for Savannah. He needs the comfort just as much as I do.
“Thanks, Luke. I’ll go see Savannah this week. I pray that you’re wrong though. I can’t imagine any woman being battered, and she certainly doesn’t deserve it.” Luke nods and mutters thanks before turning on his heels to leave. His shoulders are slumped as he carries the weight of Savannah’s plight on his back. I turn back to Colton, lost and unsure of what to do.
Has Savannah been begging for an anchor all of this time?
“What are you gonna do, darlin’?”
I sigh silently because I just don’t know what to do. Savannah and I aren’t nearly as close as we once were and we both have our own lives to live. She’s a busy momma and I have a company to run. I feel defenseless but I need to know how to protect my sister. “I-I don’t know what to do, Colton.” I climb in his lap, his strong arms wrapping around me tightly is all the comfort that I need right now. “I’ve seen the bruises, but when I asked her about it she said she fell. When we had girls’ day she winced every time I tried to hug her. Her excuse then was that she slept wrong on her shoulder. I’ve been stupid and believed all of her excuses.”
“Have you talked to her about your brother, yet?” He asks, then wrinkles his nose when he quickly realizes his mistake. “Sorry, ergh Drew?”
I shrug, feeling smaller in this moment because I’ve yet to tell her about Drew and I know that by trying to protect her, I’m probably only hurting her worse. “Not yet.” I whisper.
“Darlin’, what the hell you waitin’ on? How did you feel when you found out that Big John hid all of these secrets from your family? It hurt, didn’t it?” I nod, but he’ll never understand the pain I feel knowing Daddy’s life was always a lie. “Lies and secrets hurt, Carly Jo. Don’t keep it from her. She deserves to know the truth.”
“She does deserve to know the truth, but I don’t want to tarnish her memory of Daddy. I know it has to be done though. Just give me the time to work up the courage to do so and I’ll tell her when I’m ready.”
“When you’re ready? Damn it, Carly Jo quit sittin’ on your frickin’ hands. What if Luke’s right and your sister needs savin’?” He grips my chin in his thick hands, peering into my eyes. “Be her anchor, darlin’.”
Chapter 23
Work has been kickin’ my ass these last few weeks. MSHA has hit us with every damn safety violation under the sun over the last month. Even the feeder mines-Black Ridge, Coal Branch, Sloan and Bailes all have a mess of violations to repair before MSHA starts finin’ or worse-shuttin’ us down. Carly Jo has enough to worry with, so I’ve been tryin’ to carry the brunt of her load at Simon Energy as well. I haven’t had much time at home with my girls. But now that the weddin’ is planned, I’m lookin’ forward to our first family vacation together in June. I would almost wish the days away just for June twenty-eighth to get here sooner, but each moment with Carly Jo is too precious. So I bide my patience, hold onto each memory we make and thank God for each second he blesses me with her.
She’s tremblin’ nervously as she holds my hand in a death grip, her knees shaking violently as she bounces her feet. Damn it, when did she get so strong? “Darlin’, are you nervous or excited?” I chuckle.
She glances up at me behind those beautiful sunflower irises I love so damn much and my heart thuds harder seein’ the adoration that shines in her eyes. “Nervous? Excited? I’m just one flamin’ hot mess this morning, baby.” She rattles out quickly with a quivering smile.
I pull her chin into my hand, tiltin’ her head so that she looks at me. “Baby, calm down. You’ve been examined before. The only difference in today’s visit is when they show us our little monkey, we’ll get to see if it’s a little boy or a little girl.”
“You’re right. I’m just getting myself all worked up for nothing. But if they don’t hurry, I’m seriously gonna piss down my leg.” She laughs, her cheeks flushin’ red with embarassment. The office door swings open and we’re greeted by Kaylee whose smile gleams brightly. This woman obviously loves her job or is just lovin’ life. Ain’t ever seen somebody smile so damn much.
“Mornin’, little momma. You ready to see that little monkey again?” She asks Carly Jo. I help her up from the chair and she sways to the side light on her feet. Won’t be long til her belly will be so damn big she’ll be wobblin’. I laugh to myself, watchin’ her ass shake with each step she takes towards Kaylee. “Ooh, you brought that sexy man with you again today, Carly. You better be glad you’re carryin’ his kid or I’d almost fight ya for him.” She winks at me as I pass by her and I nod my head, greetin’ her silently.
Kaylee weighs her in and checks her vitals while they make small talk. Once she’s done she takes us to the ultrasound exam room where she instructs Carly Jo to unbutton her pants and to wait patiently for Dr. Staton. Turning on her heels, she closes the door behind her. Holdin’ her hand, she climbs up on the step, and begins fidgetin’ with the top of her pants. “Here darlin’, let me.” I say reachin’ up and unbuttonin’ her jeans. Trailin’ my finger softly across the hem of her panties her eyes drift shut and she smiles from ear to ear.
“What the hell are you trying to do to me, Colton Jacob?” She mutters.
“Just tryin’ to ease your nerves you filthy minded freak. Get on the table and wait for the doctor like a good girl.” I grip her thighs in my hands willin’ her to sit down, before layin’ her back gently. I adjust the pillow behind her back, then take a seat beside her. I rub her belly and talk to her about the baby while we wait for Dr. Staton.
“Are you hopin’ for a boy or girl?”
“I’m happy as long as it’s healthy. What do you want?”
&n
bsp; “Same for me, darlin’. Have you been thinkin’ of names?”
She nods excitedly and the giggle hangin’ on the corner of her lip is too damn cute. “I love the names Rylee, Jordyn, Chesney and Embry for a girl. For a boy my favorites are Blake, Brantley and Tyler.”
It’s hard not to smile at her excitement. “Well, I like Bobby Sue, Jeffro and Chuck.” I spout out randomly. She shoots me a deadpan glare and her mouth flattens into a thin line.
“Hell. No.” And so it begins. I shrug at her comment and she raises up, slappin’ me in the arm. “What the hell are you thinkin’ Colton Jacob Weston? The name we give our baby needs to be meaningful and something we both love. Not some hick ass name that the poor child will carry shame for all his or her life. Have you lost your damn mind?!” She shrieks and I can’t hide my laughter.
“Well, I for one think the name Jeffro shows a lot of integrity. You need to consider it, darlin’.” I say with a wink.
“You better pray to God that you’re shittin’ me right this damn minute, Colton. I’m tellin’ Kaylee not to let you fill out any damn paperwork when the baby is born.” She laughs, finding humor in my choice of names. I’d never name my kid Jeffro or Chuck, but I did put a smile on my darlin’s face and took her mind off the anxiety that she’s feelin’; if only for just a few minutes.
I grip her chin with my hand, pullin’ her into a deep kiss as I caress her belly. “Darlin’, we’ll decide on the perfect name for our little monkey and I promise you Jeffro and Chuck won’t make the cut.”
Fifteen minutes of waitin’ and Dr. Staton finally enters the room with Kaylee on her heels.
“Oh thank you Jesus!” She shouts, raisin’ up off the table. Holdin’ her belly with one hand she wipes runaway tears from her face. “Please do this damn ultrasound so I can pee already!”
Dr. Staton laughs as she reads through Carly Jo’s chart. “Well good mornin’ to you, Carly and Colton. My, don’t you look elated?”
“I’m sorry doc, she was nervous so I had to get rid of the tension somehow.” I shrug.
“And just how did you do that, Colton?” Dr. Staton asks with a quirked up eyebrow.
“He threatened to name our little monkey Jeffro! Jeffro! PLEASE I beg you not to let that happen. I don’t give a damn if I’m unconscious when you deliver my baby and you have to put little monkey on the damn birth certificate. Whatever you do, don’t let him name it Jeffro. Or Chuck!”
Kaylee doubles over in a fit of laughter. She grabs her side, trying to calm her breathing as she enters everything into the computer for Carly Jo’s ultra sound. “You might be hot, but I swear I’d probably knock you on your ass if you tried to name this sweet baby Jeffro.” She giggles. “Alright, little momma, lay back.” She tells Carly Jo before measuring her stomach. She jots down some notes then squirts blue jelly all over her abdomen. Walking across the room she flips off the light, then waits for Dr. Staton to begin.
Dr. Staton steps towards the exam table and sits on the stool. Grabbing the wand, she places it on Carly Jo’s stomach and begins the ultrasound. Carly Jo and I smile at each other when our little monkey comes into view on the LCD monitor anchored to the wall. Dr. Staton does different measurements, pointing out the baby’s arms, legs, eyes and chest. “Everything is looking great, Carly. Little monkey is very healthy and growing like a ragweed. The baby measures at twenty one weeks and four days, well ahead of your gestation.” She adds. My eyes stay transfixed on the monitor, mesmerized by my sweet, little baby movin’ around in Carly Jo’s belly. She squeezes my hand and I glance over at her. The love and adoration that shines brightly in her eyes reflects the same that I feel for her deep in my heart.
“Y’all ready to determine the gender?” Dr. Staton asks, and in sync we reply.
“Yes!”
She continues to scroll the wand around, nudgin’ her side tryin’ to make the baby roll over. Carly Jo winces, bitin’ down on her lip in discomfort. “Ya alright, baby.” She nods quietly, keepin’ her eyes on the screen.
“There. You see right there?” Dr. Staton asks, puttin’ an arrow cursor up on the screen, snappin’ shots of the image we see. “That’s your little girl. A wild one, too.”
Carly Jo clasps her hand over her mouth as tears spill over her lashes. I kiss her knuckles, mouthin’ I love you with a small wink. The excitement that courses through me is the best feelin’ in the world, and I can’t decide whether I want to watch my precious little girl roll around on the monitor or if I want to watch the emotions sweepin’ across my darlin’s face.
Carly Jo keeps her eyes fixed on the monitor, until the lights flip on and the screen goes black; the blindin’ smile on her face never waverin’. Kaylee wipes her belly off then takes her by the hand, and helps her to sit up on the edge of the exam table.
“Alright, Carly. Everything looks wonderful. The baby is progressing nicely. Kaylee is gonna draw some blood for routine lab work, then we’ll see you back in four weeks.” She scribbles down notes in Carly Jo’s file before shakin’ our hands. “If you need anything, just shout.”
After Kaylee draws her blood, I schedule Carly Jo’s next appointment while she makes a pit stop in the restroom.
“Let’s stop at home and have lunch before we go to the mines.” I say, helpin’ her up in the Tahoe.
“Sounds great, I’m starving.”
The drive home is silent as Carly Jo gazes out the window watchin’ the world pass by in a blur. She hasn’t said a word since we left the doctor’s office. Judgin’ by the way she’s chewin’ her lip in half, I can tell she’s battlin’ somethin’ that’s got her gripped tight.
When we get home, she changes her clothes while I make turkey sandwiches for lunch. She comes to the livin’ room with her hair piled into a messy pony tail, wearin’ her favorite UK sweatpants and hoodie. I carry our food to the livin’ room, sittin’ down beside her to eat.
“What’cha so silent for, baby?” I question. She ignores me, pickin’ the crust off her sandwich. I take her plate from her lap, placin’ it on the coffee table then pull her into my lap. “Tell me what you’re feelin’.” She shrugs her shoulders, still chewin’ on that damn lip. I pull her lip from between her teeth with my thumb, then tilt her chin up so I can look into her eyes. Her eyes are glistenin’ with unshed tears and my heart stills knowin’ she’s simply overwhelmed.
“Ya overwhelmed?” I ask her, and she nods silently. “Ya know, I can remember that overwhelmin’ feelin’ I felt the entire time Kari was pregnant with Heidi Jo. I was bitter for the longest time because I felt like my life was over before it had begun, but I was wrong. My life didn’t begin til she took her first breath.” I swipe a tear that falls down her cheek. “I know what you’re feelin’ right now, darlin’. But I promise you this…the moment you hear our sweet girl cry for the first time will be the happiest moment you’ll ever be blessed with. Holdin’ her in your arms for the first time, knowin’ that you’re the safety that she relies on will be better than any other emotion you’ll ever feel.”
She sits up a little straighter and rubs her belly. “Seeing her today, seeing how much she’s grown and how well she’s developing, made this pregancy feel more real.” She circles her hand over her belly as she sighs heavily, “I’m just so worried that I won’t be a good mom.”
“What the hell makes you think that?” I chide, her remark instantly annoyin’ me. She shrugs me off like I should find truth in her statement. “Darlin’, it’s natural to worry because it’s a major change becomin’ a parent. But don’t you dare doubt your ability to be a momma. Look at your relationship with Heidi Jo…ain’t that proved anything to ya yet?”
“I just hope that I can be the momma I always dreamed of being. I love Heidi Jo like my own, but she looks up to me like I’m a friend; not as a momma.” She looks away sheepishly, tryin’ to hide the sadness fillin’ her eyes.
I kiss her lips softly, then rest my forehead against hers. “That’s where you’re wrong, baby. Heidi Jo looks a
t you like you’re her momma, she just doesn’t know how to express how she feels for you. She still has moments when she doesn’t understand why Kari ain’t here with her. But that void she always felt in her heart, in her life-you fill that, darlin’.”
She pinches her eyes closed, and a single tear trickles slowly down her flush cheek. “There are just so many things to learn! What if I mess up or hurt her?”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Carly Jo. You have the inner strength of a dozen men, but change terrifies you. Embrace it for all it’s worth. We’re gettin’ married, and our family is comin’ together. I know it seems like so much to happen all in such a short length of time, but I’ll be here all the while, leadin’ you each step of the way.”
Chapter 24
Bitchy.
That’s the only way to describe me. Stress from every angle absorbs me and if I didn’t have Colton by my side, holding my hand and reminding me to breath, I’d done lost my shit. At twenty weeks pregnant my rounded belly is clearly noticeable, the raging hormones seep from my pores and the resting bitch face kindly tells everyone to piss off without me having to say a word. I’m restless already, my legs ache in misery each night as I try to sleep. I want to eat and have sex around the clock.
Colton is beyond ecstatic that I have such an insatiable sexual appetite. For a man who can’t keep his hands to himself, he’s living in a desirable bliss. Each morning, my hands find his thick cock before my eyes even open. He started setting his alarm earlier than usual because I was late getting Heidi Jo to school one morning due to an explicit sheetrock splitting, headboard cracking good morning kiss. Like I said, my hands wander. One thing led to another and before we knew it the headboard was shoved through the wall, the bed rails busted to the floor just as Colton spilled his release into me. When he collapsed on top of me, his sweaty body heaving roughly against my chest, I never wanted that moment to end. Whether he makes love to me gently or rocks me violently beneath him in the most aggressive way, the love delivered is earth shattering.