Overdose: A British Bad Boy Romance

by Raven St. Pierre

  “Dr. Ferris? Are you upset with me?” Roxy asked.

  Vanessa quickly gathered herself and met her patient’s gaze. “No, Roxy. Of course not. Like I said, you made a mistake.”

  Roxy nodded but clearly didn’t feel any better, still distraught by what she’d done.

  “I’ve really made a mess of things, haven’t I? There’s no way I can just pretend like everything hasn’t changed. That one experience has made me so different, Dr. Ferris. I don’t know if I can, or even want to, go back to how it was before.”

  Vanessa swallowed her personal feelings and tried to be unbiased. “What are your honest thoughts? Are you thinking about telling Bo? Leaving him?”

  Roxy shrugged. “I don’t wanna leave him. I know that for sure, but what if he can’t… you know. What if he can’t do what Danny did?” She zoned out for a moment and then her eyes lifted to Vanessa. “What do you think I should do?”

  There was no clear cut answer. “Roxy, all I can do is help you sort through your emotions, help you identify a clear path, but choosing it is completely up to you,” she replied.

  Roxy looked down at her hands, visibly conflicted. “Makes sense.”

  Vanessa imagined Roxy had some serious soul searching ahead of her.

  “So… what’s your goal for me for next week?” Roxy asked, checking the time.

  The only thing Vanessa could think to say was to advise Roxy not to make any rash decisions, to give herself time to digest and reflect upon all these changes.

  Roxy seemed content with that, managing a slight smile as she exited Vanessa’s office.

  Unbelievable.

  That session had blown Vanessa’s mind. She absolutely did not expect things to play out that way. Of all the truths she would’ve guessed this conversation with Roxy would bring to the light, Zander’s innocence wasn’t one of them. Here she was thinking she had him pegged.

  When she accused him, he could’ve made a scene, but he hadn’t. She recalled his poised disposition when he left her office, that slick smile. He knew she’d figure it out on her own, hence the reason he wasn’t rattled.

  Heat flashed across Vanessa’s face, both brought on by a sudden bout of embarrassment and also because that barrier she’d cast up, now came tumbling down. Thinking Zander had slept with Roxy made it easy to dismiss him.

  But now… what was to stop those unwelcomed feelings from returning?

  *****

  Laughter floated into the living room from the kitchen, but the happy sound seemed like such a contradiction. The divorce had only been finalized that afternoon, now Simon was in her space again, making it difficult to catch a break. Granted, this visit, him stopping by to help Ryan with a school project, had been planned for weeks, but it was still too much too soon for Vanessa. She felt like the walls were closing in on her and she had to get out of there.

  Had to.

  Still wearing her work attire, she charged back into the kitchen with a broad smile when she kissed Ryan’s forehead. Only Simon knew the expression was forced.

  “Mommy’s gonna take off,” she said to her son, stealing one last kiss.

  Her eyes met Simon’s and she quickly looked away.

  “You’re leaving?” he asked, confused because she hadn’t mentioned it before now.

  Vanessa let go of a long breath. “Yeah, I’m just gonna take a drive; let you two have some father/son time,” she reasoned, being far more polite to her ex than usual. He knew it was only because their son was present.

  It didn’t surprise Simon that she needed some space. Considering the events of the afternoon, putting himself in her shoes, he didn’t blame her.

  He glanced back down at the mixture of paste, flour, and glue he was currently up to his elbows in, and tried to hide his thoughts. In a perfect world, Vanessa would be right beside him and Ryan, helping with the paper mache sculpture of Saturn, laughing and joking with them. But he’d singlehandedly been responsible for ruining that perfect world they once existed in. Shame washed over him, but he hid it. Hid it well.

  “Yeah, cool. Be safe,” he said casually.

  Vanessa’s lips pursed together. “I shouldn’t be long.”

  Simon put up a hand to stop her. “It’s fine. Take all the time you need. We’ll finish up here, then I’ll see to it that he gets his bath and makes it to bed on time.”

  Her gaze lingered on Simon’s blue eyes for a moment and right when she walked away, Ryan piped up. “Ma! You think Dad can stay the night tonight? You know… since you’re going out?” His eyes darted to his father. “We can build a tent, play video games, and everything!”

  Vanessa’s insides did a somersault and she scrambled for a response other than the ‘hell no’ that initially came to mind. “Uh… well… I…”

  “Ry, I think tonight might be a bad night,” Simon interjected, seeing Vanessa stutter. “Tell you what I’ll do, though.”

  Ryan was visibly disappointed he wasn’t getting his way. “What?” he asked.

  “Once we get done with this, you‘ll take your bath, then we’ll play a few rounds of your game before bed. How’s that sound?”

  Clearly, that wasn’t the same to Ryan, but he nodded anyway. “Fine,” he finally conceded, but then his eyes lit up again. “But can’t you stay for my birthday?” he begged. “That’s all I want! I don’t need presents or anything.”

  Hearing him broke Vanessa’s heart.

  Of course he wanted his father.

  It wasn’t that he didn’t get to spend plenty of time with Simon, but Ryan knew things were very different. So much had changed. Now, it seemed like all he wanted for his birthday was one night of normalcy. One night that felt like old times.

  Tightness in Vanessa’s chest told her she needed to go, even more urgently than before. This, all of it, was overwhelming. When tears pooled in the corners of her eyes, Simon noticed and stuttered a response to their son.

  “W-well… your birthday isn’t for a couple weeks. Why don’t you give me and Mommy a chance to discuss it?” That was all he could say short of shooting down his son’s idea. Simon met Vanessa’s gaze again and gave a tight smile, feeling the effects of his actions double at the moment, fully aware of the hurt he’d caused the two most important people in the world to him.

  Vanessa didn’t even speak after that, just walked away, headed wherever the endless road carried her.

  The sun had moved on, leaving behind just a hint of peach-colored sky at the horizon. She’d been thrown so many twists and curves that day she no longer knew which way was up. But what she did know was that she needed a drink… bad.

  Just one.

  Her mind drifted back to the bar she’d visited weeks ago—the one where Zander had broken down her walls and coerced her into giving him information she never intended to share. She settled on there and only got lost once when she turned the wrong way down a street. Eventually, she pulled into the parking lot and cut off the engine.

  The ambiance was perfect for this particular mood she was in. The rich, dark tones absorbed much of the light, reflecting the darkness she felt inside. She spotted an open stool at the bar and sat there. She’d ordered her drink quickly and then tried to relax as the down-tempo jazz calmed her nerves just a touch more.

  Envisioning her signature on that paperwork today, she heard her son’s request for Simon to stay the night echo inside her head. How was she supposed to do this? How was she supposed to balance everything—managing the practice with him; co-parenting? She was still so angry, so full of rage on the inside.

  At every turn, Simon was still there, still very much a part of her life although she no longer wanted him to be. The thought of dissolving the practice, letting him buy her out, came to mind again and she decided now was the best time to really start considering her options. The sooner they severed ties, the better. As far as she was concerned, the only thing they should still be partners in was raising their son.

  She realized she’d let her drama follow her he
re. Forgetting about it all was the sole purpose of leaving the house. To occupy her time while she waited for the Gin and Tonic she ordered, Vanessa looked over the many bottles of alcohol lining the mirrored wall behind the bar. Her eyes settled in on a pretty blue one and then focused on the image being reflected behind it—Zander.

  He already had her in his sights, wearing that same smile she’d grown to simultaneously love and hate. When she spotted him—and the woman he was entertaining for the evening—she sighed heavily and grabbed her purse to leave. While, yes, she’d already decided she owed him an apology in the near future; she had no intention of doing that right now. Most likely the request for forgiveness would’ve come in the form of a short phone call, not a face-to-face meeting.

  If she hadn’t stopped to cancel her drink order with the waitress, she might have gotten away.

  “Well, well, well… if it isn’t Dr. Vanessa Ferris of Ferris and Ferris LLP, slumming it down here with the commoners in Zanderville for the evening,” he said, mocking her speech from the other week as he approached from behind. As usual, he got much closer than Vanessa was comfortable with, letting his eyes slip over her, soaking up every detail of his favorite beauty.

  “Tonight really isn’t a great night,” she said, hearing the exhaustion in her own voice. She was over being rude and nasty to him, seeing as how he didn’t rightly deserve it in the first place, but she simply wasn’t in the mood for his smugness.

  Zander didn’t chase her when she took a step away, but he did speak and the sound of his voice halted her.

  “I didn’t plan to hold you long. I only meant to ask how you’d been,” he said with a coy smile. “I rather miss our little, weekly meetings if I’m being honest.”

  She stopped and made the mistake of looking into his deep gaze. A smile touched her lips and she immediately regretted it. “You never stop do you?”

  “Not until you finish,” he said suggestively.

  A chill ran up her spine and she chose not to ignore it. That was her cue to leave; the first sign that Zander still had quite a strong effect on her. Her eyes drifted to the woman he’d been with before coming to her side of the bar—another good reason not to drag this conversation out any longer.

  “Well, hey, I owe you an apology, then I’m just gonna take off,” she said, aiming her thumb toward the exit. “The whole… Roxy thing,” she started. “I was wrong about that and I wrongfully accused you. That wasn’t fair and I apologize.”

  Zander’s lids lowered a little as he drank in the sight of her, barely giving thought to the words she’d just spoken. For one, he didn’t need her forgiveness. He already knew he was innocent, so it didn’t shock him that she figured it out, too.

  “I’m curious,” he began, completely foregoing the customary acceptance of Vanessa’s apology. Instead, he had his own agenda. “What on Earth made you step into the lion’s den tonight?” he asked. “Didn’t you know there’d be a possibility of running into me? The man you claim to loathe?”

  Vanessa didn’t say a word as she silently questioned herself, too. Maybe her coming here hadn’t been completely random, but that didn’t make sense. After she’d gone to such lengths to rid her life of Zander, what reason could she possibly have for wanting to run into him?

  She shook her head when she realized she’d just fallen victim to another one of his mind games.

  “Think what you want, but my being here has nothing to do with you. I came for the drinks, but running into you worked out for the best,” she reasoned, casually adding, “I was able to tell you I’m sorry in person.”

  “I’m calling your bluff,” he countered, narrowing his eyes. “You came here hoping you’d run into me, didn’t you? Because calling would’ve been too blatant. Too intentional.” Smirking, he leaned his elbow against the bar. “You needed to make seeing me feel like an accident so you wouldn’t overthink your motives. Admit it,” he gently urged, visibly loving every minute of their conversation.

  “You wanted to see me,” he asserted in that sexy, pretentious tone of his.

  Vanessa didn’t speak. Couldn’t speak.

  Zander moved in closer, whispering in Vanessa’s ear despite being aware of his date sitting on the edge of her seat as she watched. “It’s okay, love. I think about you, too.”

  The feel of his breath against her skin made her heavy lids close, but she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t let him get inside her head like he always seemed to do. Putting distance between them was the only way she could break his spell, so she backed up.

  “Excuse me,” she said breathlessly, rushing off in search of the bathroom, feeling that intense, relentless stare of his following her, observing every step she took.

  Pushing past the wooden door that led to the lady’s room, she nearly ran into the woman trying to exit. Vanessa uttered a distracted apology and went right to the sink. She grabbed a paper towel and wet it with cool water.

  ‘Damn him and his charm,’ she thought to herself, putting the towel on her cheeks as she attempted to get rid of the heat warming them. It’d been brought on by Zander’s invasion of her space.

  The wetness touched her eyes now and she took a deep breath.

  ‘What am I doing here?’ she asked herself. And then the details all came rushing back, a vivid recollection of why she’d left her own home during a time she should’ve been winding down for the evening.

  Simon was there.

  Ryan’s questions and requests were there.

  And those were things she couldn’t handle right now. Fleeing seemed like the only way to escape it all, even if only temporarily.

  Still… why here?

  She could’ve gone anywhere in the city, but she hadn’t. With every turn of the steering wheel, she intentionally drove here. To this place. A place where she at least felt close to the memory of Zander even if she honestly wasn’t expecting to see him. As much as she hated to admit it, he was at least partially right.

  The sound of the bathroom door opening and closing didn’t startle Vanessa as she exhaled again. She actually didn’t give it much thought as she battled her way through the warzone inside her mind. However, the sound of the lock engaging did make her heart skip a beat, commanding her attention. The moment she lifted her eyes, they landed on Zander’s reflection in the mirror as he stared at her.

  Through her.

  How the hell did he do that?

  “You can’t be in here,” Vanessa huffed, but did she really expect him to care about the rules? He knew before making this bold move that this was, literally, the one place inside this building he was absolutely forbidden to be.

  “And yet… here I am,” he replied, answering her spoken statement as well as the one she only uttered inside her head.

  The side of his mouth quirked with a smile as his deliberately slow steps unnerved her. Vanessa was cornered and in about as compromising a position as she could be. She held her breath and wondered if she could somehow make it around him and escape to freedom.

  Freedom.

  She focused on that word when she thought it. In a situation like this, the meaning of it seemed so abstract. Perhaps this freedom she wanted wouldn’t come in the form of an escape. Perhaps it came in the form of a sweet surrender to the one person she’d been running away from.

  It only took Zander a few seconds to close the distance between them. His body pressed firm against her backside, but his hands remained tucked inside his pockets as he stared down on her neck. Vanessa could hardly catch her breath as she watched him calculating his next move.

  “Tell me why you came here,” he said softly, picking up right where their conversation at the bar had ended. The words, spoken deep and low, dipped and wove their way around his accent, their sound making love to Vanessa’s senses. She could feel him getting hard against her, stiffening at an impressively rapid rate. Her eyes drifted shut.

  It’d been so damn long.

  “I already explained that,” she said weakly, still sta
nding by her earlier excuse, passing off their meeting here as nothing more than a coincidence.

  “No,” he asserted, watching her lick her lips as he backed away. Vanessa’s eyes opened again and she observed the cool gaze he slipped over her. “You came here looking for me. Admit it.”

  Even if she did know Zander’s words to be true, something inside her wouldn’t let her confess it. She’d spent too much time and energy trying to convince him, and herself, that he hadn’t gotten to her. Giving in so easily, without any semblance of a fight, seemed absurd.

  “I won’t, because I didn’t,” she countered.

  Zander still couldn’t resist her feistiness. He smiled, deciding to play her game. He let her feel his firm cock against her backside again, but this time freed his hands from his pockets and set them on her waist. She watched in silence as he un-tucked her blouse from inside her skirt and worked his long fingers until her bottom button was undone. His eyes were set on hers as he moved up to the second, and then the third, and kept going, exposing a sliver of her flesh that extended just beyond her navel. He didn’t stop there, not until both sides of the blouse were separated. She sucked in a breath when he violently snatched the material halfway down her arms. Her breasts heaved in the mirror as she began to feel dazed.

  High.

  Intoxicated.

  Zander ran both hands up her stomach, his lighter-toned skin contrasting the richness of her dark. Those hands—large, strong, surprisingly soft—stopped just beneath her bra. The tender flesh of her bottom lip ached as she sank her teeth into it, trying to contain herself when Zander’s hardness seemed to swell even more. He dipped his chin toward the curve where her neck and shoulder met as he breathed her in.

  “Say it,” he repeated. “Tell me you came here for this.”

  Vanessa felt her will weakening, but she still wouldn’t comply. Too often, Zander had gotten her to do his bidding. She was determined not to let today be another example of the power he had over her. Instead, she shot back a response of her own.

  “Don’t you have a date out there waiting for you?” A coy smile tweaked the corner of her lips. “She looked pretty upset about you even talking to me. How do you think she’d feel if she knew you followed me in here?”