Shades Of Humanity (Surviving For Humanity Book 2)

by Kip Nelson

  As soon as she went back to Javier, the man knew that he could do anything to Morelle and she wouldn't protest. Like a loyal puppy, Morelle was obedient to a fault. When Tillman learned what had happened, he flew into a rage and confronted Morelle about it. He offered to find Javier and teach him a lesson. He tried convincing her that there was another path, but Morelle had begged him to stop and listen. She'd told him that she loved Javier, that she knew there was good in him and all she had to do was love him and eventually he'd be better. She was convinced that he loved her too, and that he would give her the life she wanted.

  She told Tillman that sometimes in life you had to make compromises to have a fulfilling life, that no relationships were perfect, and you couldn't expect people to be exactly what you wanted them to be. In a rare display of fortitude, Morelle ordered him to not pursue any antagonism toward Javier, and to let her enjoy her own relationship.

  It had been a source of great ire for Tillman, who ended up obeying her wish, much to his later disappointment. He let Morelle have her life and was hopeful she could make it work. After all, he had lost his fight to maintain his relationship with Angela. He hoped that his sister could do better than him and win hers.

  But, it wasn't to be. Morelle changed, and there was nothing he could do about it. He never saw signs of physical abuse, but he could tell that Javier treated her like a slave. Morelle always had to check with Javier before she did anything, and she always was serving his whims. None of the rest of her family were happy with the way things had worked out, but his parents shrugged and said that she had to make her own mistakes, and that with a marriage these things often got ironed out as two people became used to living with each other.

  Tillman hated how they were so blasé about the entire situation. It seemed as if they thought a marriage was sacred just because it was a marriage, devoid of any context that would make it toxic. Tillman felt as though he was the lone voice of reason. His parents didn't support him, and Morelle was blinded by her fear of being alone, so there was simply nothing he could do other than focus on his own life. It taught him a sincere lesson about learning to let go of other people and let them lead their own lives. It was tough to watch other people make their mistakes, but it was their right to make them, and hopefully learn from them.

  At the time, Tillman had thought that the relationship would peter out. Eventually, Morelle would see Javier for what he truly was, and she'd realize that she could do better. There were plenty of other men in town who would appreciate her for who she was, but Javier had played on her own insecurities and convinced her that she never would find anyone else to love her, and then proposed to her.

  After Tillman had tried to convince Morelle that she was making a mistake, Morelle had shut herself off from Tillman and wouldn't discuss any matters of a personal nature. Tillman was forced to look in from the outside, and had to hold his tongue, and just be ready for when it all fell apart. He didn't want his sister to be hurt, but it seemed like that was the only way it was going to go. Any time he met Javier there was always an underlying tension between the two men. Tillman knew he couldn't even take Javier aside and threaten him because word only would get back to Morelle, and it would put more distance between the two of them, while simultaneously pushing her closer to Javier.

  She was becoming dependent on Javier. He had a good job, which was another reason why his parents didn't seem to have a problem with the man. Tillman still was convinced to this day that if Javier had had a less reputable job or earned less money, his parents would have been far quicker to get in between Javier and Morelle. As it was, they were blinded by his success and associated his career with his essence as a person. This only served to vex Tillman to an even greater degree as he was getting no respect from his parents for his own career choice. It galled him that a man like Javier could get a free pass just because of his perceived success as a businessman.

  The wedding had been a joyous affair, and on that day Tillman had been forced to question if he really had been correct in assuming the marriage would fail. Morelle was a blushing bride, so beautiful, and Javier seemed proud of the life he was making for the two of them. He'd even made the gesture of coming up to Tillman and apologizing to him, saying that he wanted this to be a new start for all of them.

  But it wasn't a new beginning. Javier couldn't shake his bad habits. It wasn't long before Morelle announced that she was pregnant, and shortly after that things became worse. It was Tillman who received a call from Morelle saying that Javier had become so angry he'd hit her. When Tillman rushed back to pick her up he saw the huge bruise that covered half her face. If his sister hadn't needed immediate help, he would have confronted Javier and killed him.

  After going to the hospital and determining the baby was unharmed, Tillman had a frank conversation with Morelle, basically telling her that he couldn't let her go back to Javier. With liquid eyes, she collapsed in fretful sobs, saying that she knew she couldn't go back. Tillman held her trembling body close as Morelle asked him what she was supposed to do. Tillman didn't have any answers for her. He only could say that everything was going to be okay and hope that that didn't turn out to be a lie.

  He never saw Javier again. Javier basically had disappeared from their lives. He'd moved out of the apartment and nobody at his office told them where he was. Tillman had wanted to track him down and hurt him, but his father dissuaded him from that action, saying that there were some things a man never could come back from.

  It was the only time in his life that Tillman ever had thought himself capable of killing someone, of actually wanting to hurt someone so much that he would revel in watching the life slip out of their eyes.

  Morelle had tried contacting him. All of them had been afraid that Javier would show up when Jessica was born, but he seemed to have vanished into thin air. Maybe he was ashamed of what he did, but Tillman thought it likelier he was scared of what Tillman would do to him, or that he had found someone new to torment.

  After that Morelle hadn't been the same. The light had gone out of her eyes. She had been so convinced that Javier would be her salvation that the betrayal had cut her deep. Tillman knew she never would love again, because she never would be able to bring herself to be that vulnerable with someone else. She had Jessica, who was a constant reminder of Javier. Something so beautiful had been created from something so malevolent. Tillman wasn't sure he ever would understand the way the world balanced things out like that.

  And now Jessica was plowing through the world, trying to figure out the way she had to live to survive. Everything she knew had changed, and perhaps she would change too. She had the steel of her father, but hopefully, Tillman thought, she wouldn't end up the same as him. Just as he hoped he wouldn't end up the same as his father. Then there was Anthony, who was separated from his parents. They all had their own separate issues with their parents, and he wondered if any of them would resolve them.

  Jessica made her way through the town like a shark moving through water and they soon found themselves outside Tanya's house. Before Tillman could tell her to be careful, Jessica was running up the walkway and hammering on the door, screaming Tanya's name. The door opened, and Tanya ran out. The girls flung their arms around each other. Tillman noticed there still was no sign of Tanya's father.

  Tillman and Anthony joined Jessica and Tanya. Tanya stiffened when she saw Tillman.

  “It's okay, he's my uncle,” Jessica said, noticing her discomfort.

  “I found her,” Tillman said, offering Tanya a smile. She smiled back, but she didn't seem entirely comfortable.

  “What's going on?” Tanya asked. Jessica explained everything to her and Tanya's eyes went wide.

  “But it's okay,” Jessica said, “you can come with us if you want. We're heading back to the ranch. It'll be safe there. We'll all be together.”

  “I can't. I have to wait for my dad to get back,” Tanya said. Her gaze moved past all of them. She looked fretfully at each end of the r
oad, as if she expected her father to return at any moment.

  Jessica looked a little disappointed. “Well, maybe we can wait with you, and we can go together,” she said. Before Tanya could answer, Anthony grimaced with pain and almost collapsed. He instinctively reached out to Tillman and gripped Tillman's shoulder tightly, digging his fingers in as though they were talons.

  “We need to get him back to the ranch soon, Jess. Otherwise, it's just going to hurt him more,” Tillman said.

  Jessica turned her gaze from her uncle and Anthony to Tanya, knowing that she had to choose one over the other.

  “Are you sure you can't come?” she said.

  Tanya folded her arms across her chest and chewed her lower lip, shaking her head. Tillman anxiously scanned the world around him as well, afraid that they were in danger by waiting in the town too long. The events of the previous night had proven to him that danger was inevitable when out in the open, but he'd rather face it himself than put Jessica and Anthony in danger.

  “Jess,” Tillman said, reminding his niece of the words he had spoken to her earlier.

  “I'm sorry, Jess. I have to wait for my dad.”

  “Well, the two of you better come to the ranch when he comes back. We'll be waiting for you, then we'll hang out. It'll be just like old times,” Jessica said, with false bravado.

  Tanya smiled at her and agreed, although both girls knew they were lying to each other. Nothing would be the same again. Nothing could be the same again. They hugged again, letting the gesture linger, before Tanya turned away and walked back into her home, closing the door behind her. Jess looked at her longingly.

  “I hope she's going to be okay,” she said in a hoarse whisper.

  Tillman put his arm around her as the three of them and Major walked away. Tillman knew well how she felt. He had experienced the same thing when he had been with Angela and the two of them had spoken about a life together, this was before they had made the final decision to break up. It wasn't easy accepting that you were going to lose connections with those closest to you, but that was part of growing up, and everyone was going to have to grow up quickly in this world.

  “Let's get back to the ranch,” Tillman said.

  Chapter Ten

  He was tired of thinking about the past and was looking forward to returning home so he could talk with Greg and the others to figure out their next moves. It still was early in the apocalypse, and he hoped that if he kept his wits about him, he could have an advantage over everyone else. While they still were struggling to comprehend what had happened, he and his family would be preparing for the next phase of their lives.

  He now took the lead while Jessica fell into step with Anthony, helping him limp along. Tillman wished they could move more quickly, but he wasn't going to rush Anthony and put him in any more distress.

  It was funny how he still thought of the ranch as home even though he had been driven out by his parents. With Jessica's disappearance they had been preoccupied, and Tillman was sure there was going to be more conflict when he returned. He was looking forward to speaking with Morelle again. He hadn't yet had a chance to speak with her properly. It had been a reunion a long time in the making, and the thought of seeing her again choked him up.

  He wondered how Greg and Penelope were getting along with his parents. Without him to act as peacemaker he well could imagine Greg and his father getting into some arguments about, well, anything really. Greg always was fierce about defending his opinions, and his father was stubborn. It would not make for a comfortable match. He smiled to himself as he wondered what state the house would be in when he returned. At least Penelope was there. She was rational and usually could handle Greg. She was young enough that his father wouldn't argue with her either. He had some outdated notions, many of which Tillman didn't agree with, but one of them was that he always treated women with respect.

  Now, Tillman could have had a long discussion with him about how everyone was deserving of a basic level of respect no matter their gender, but he knew his father was so entrenched in his opinions that nothing would sway him to think that he was doing anything wrong. The man was so inflexible it drove Tillman mad. He would have to try finding a way to live with it, because the chances of his father adapting almost certainly were futile.

  Thinking of the past was easy. Thinking about the future was not. There were so many uncertainties that Tillman didn't know where to begin. He had to think about food, water, comfort, shelter. He had to plan for the winter as well as the rest of summer. He had to prepare defenses and find some way of being aware of what was happening in the world around them. For example, he needed to know if there was a mob running through the town, so he could plan a defense against them. Conversely, if there was a group of well-meaning people he always could ask them for assistance. Perhaps, in time, he and the others would be such a group. As yet he hadn't seen any of these types of groups. It was going to be more natural for people to fall into bad habits and indulge their bad behaviors since the straitjacket of society had been ripped away, but Tillman knew you had to be the change you wanted to see in the world.

  That was all for the future, though. They still had to get back to the ranch, and there was no guarantee that was going to happen.

  “It feels so strange. I mean, it wasn't like this town was ever busy, but there was always somebody around,” Anthony said. “What's going to happen now? Is the army going to come in? There's not going to be a zombie hoard is there?”

  “You've been playing too many games,” Tillman said with a wry smile.

  He thought it funny how so many people were afraid of zombies and other fantastical creatures coming to harm them when they posed no threat, for they did not exist. The greatest threats were from other humans, other people with the same drives and desires as the rest of them, but each of them with different limits on how far they would go.

  Being in this town was a far cry from being in the burning city, but Tillman knew it was only a matter of time before they all ended up being the same. People would rush from one to the other, trying to find sanctuary, or trying to find other people to hunt. Food and water were scarce, and once they were leeched from one location people would move to other locations to find more, until the entire world was ravaged, and nothing was left. Nerves coiled in Tillman's gut as he thought about the way the world was going to turn. He wanted to find a way to be self-sustainable, but as soon as other people found out, he would be under attack.

  Anthony winced some more, and Tillman was afraid he wasn't going to be able to make it back to the ranch in one trip. He wanted to push Anthony as far as he could go, but not so far as he would break. Rounding the corner, Tillman saw George's store ahead and knew they could use that for a moment's respite, and perhaps to get some more supplies.

  “We'll head in there. I talked earlier with the man who owns the store. I think he'll help us,” Tillman said. That was, as long as George was in the store. Tillman had tried to get Jerry to convince George to leave, but something told Tillman that nothing would make George leave this store. Tillman walked in, and as soon as he passed over the threshold Major began growling. Tillman tensed.

  He held out his hand, indicating for Jessica and Anthony to hold back. Anthony did, leaning against the doorframe, but Jessica continued walking, with an air of curiosity. She looked very much like her mother, but her personality was far different; she was a daredevil.

  Tillman got out in front of her and walked to the counter. As he approached he saw it was smeared with blood. Then he heard George wheezing. The man was slumped behind the counter, a smashed bottle was near him and the tangy smell of vodka hung in the air. Tillman rushed around the counter and crouched beside George, careful not to tread on any of the glass. Major stayed as close to Tillman as he could, but Tillman held him back, not wanting the dog to cut his paws on the shards of glass.

  “George, what happened here?” Tillman said.

  A cursory examination found that George had a s
tomach wound. He was holding both his hands against the wound, but was unable to stop the blood flow. George's eyelids fluttered, and every breath seemed to take all the strength he had. He managed to open his eyes long enough to see Major and Jessica.

  “I see you found her,” George said, smiling.

  “I did, and I made a new friend too. George, dammit, I told you this would happen,” Tillman said, frustrated that he hadn't tried harder to make George leave or to make him see that the rules were different now. George shook his head.

  “This is my place. I'm meant to be here,” George said. Blood oozed out of his body in a thick stream, moving as slow as lava.

  “Can we do anything to help him?” Jessica asked.

  “No. He needs an ambulance,” Tillman said, and once again was frustrated with the world. If things hadn't changed, George still could be saved. Hell, if things hadn't changed, he likely wouldn't have been attacked in the first place. Whoever did this was evil, and Tillman hoped they would pay. “George, I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do.”

  George smiled again and closed his eyes.

  “Don't worry. If this is the way it has to be, this is the way it has to be, Son. Just get somewhere safe before they get you too,” he said.

  “Who are they, George?” Tillman said. George didn't open his eyes. Tillman shook him to try getting him to hold onto life for a few more minutes. “Who are they?!”

  “Khan,” George whispered, his voice trembling with fear, “five of them...” he choked, and then his head tilted to the side as he had exhaled his last breath. Tillman hung his head and closed George's eyelids. George was too good a man for this world, but he was naive as well. Tillman rose to his feet and moved from behind the counter. Jessica and Anthony were stunned.