Heal Me [Club of Dominance 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Becca Van

  She stood just outside her bedroom door and stared at them through narrowed eyes. She couldn’t believe that neither of them had answered their phones when she’d called, nor responded to her text messages. But then she realized they had responded. They were here in her home. Obviously they weren’t going to let her cancel on them. Normally she’d have been pissed off with their take-charge attitude. At least she would have if anyone else had tried to control her, but she wasn’t angry at them at all. She resigned herself to going to their mother’s for lunch because it didn’t look like she had any other choice, and that wasn’t like her in the least.

  Nixon stood up and then so did Nathan.

  “Are you ready?” Nathan asked.

  Kara nodded. “I just need to get my purse.”

  “You won’t need it,” Nix said.

  Kara hesitated midstep and would have fallen flat on her face if Nathan had reached out to steady her.

  “All you need to bring are your keys so you can get back into your apartment after we bring you home again.”

  She didn’t think that was such a good idea. “I think it would be better if I drove my own car, Nathan.”

  “No.” His answer was succinct and emphatic.

  “But…”

  Kara finally realized she was still standing on one leg and lowered it to the ground. She shivered when heat permeated her back and realized Nixon was standing right behind her.

  “Don’t argue, honey.”

  “Do you have your keys?” Nate asked.

  Kara nodded.

  “Good. Then let’s go.” Nathan guided her to the door and a moment later she was standing on her small porch. “Give me your keys, baby.”

  Wordlessly she handed them over and watched while Nathan locked her door and then she was being guided to a truck parked at the curb. She had every intention of sitting in the back, but once again they directed her and she found herself sitting in between them.

  When they got in on either side of her, she trembled as their bodies brushed against hers, but she didn’t dare turn her head to meet either of their gazes. She was sure if she did that she would give away what they were doing to her. Of course she knew that she was being ludicrous because they probably already knew she was attracted to and turned on by them, especially after the way she’d behaved at the club with them.

  Kara stiffened when Nixon slung his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in against his side while Nathan concentrated on driving. “Relax, honey. We’re not going to bite.”

  She shivered when his warm breath caressed the skin of her ear and then gasped when he nipped and then licked her earlobe. “At least not unless you ask us to.”

  Damn, she didn’t know how to handle these two men. One minute she was terrified that they would find out about her conception and the next she wanted them to hold her, kiss her, and touch her all over. Her mind was warring with her body and if she didn’t come to a decision soon, she felt like she was going to go insane.

  “Do we scare you, Kara?” Nathan asked.

  Shit! These two men see too much.

  Kara wasn’t really scared of them. She knew deep down in her heart that they would never hurt her physically or hurt her emotionally, at least not intentionally. What scared the living daylights out of her was that they would judge her and pity her, and she couldn’t deal with that. They were gorgeously confident men and to imagine seeing them looking at her with sympathy cut her to the quick. She had no idea why she felt that way but she did.

  “No, not really,” she finally managed to answer.

  Nixon cupped her cheek and turned her head toward him. He looked deeply into her eyes and then he leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. “I’m glad to hear that, honey. Nathan and I want a relationship with you, Kara, but you already know that. Do you want us, too?”

  Damn. How could she answer that without lying or hurting their pride? She wanted to let go of the control she had lived with for so long, but she wasn’t sure she knew how. But, day after day, and night after night, she daydreamed and dreamed about them kissing and touching her. Kara wondered if she would ever be able to let her guard down if she relinquished her vow and decided to be with them. She wasn’t sure she could.

  “I…”

  “Be careful how you answer that, baby. We know when someone’s lying.”

  Kara met Nathan’s eyes and then turned back to stare out the window again. She wanted so much to say yes but every time she thought she was about to answer in the affirmative, her chest tightened, her throat felt constricted, and the words died on her lips.

  Nixon pulled her closer to him again and he started kissing, licking, and nibbling on her neck. A moan worked its way out from between her lips and without conscious thought she angled her head away to give him better access.

  “Yes,” Nixon whispered against her skin. “You want us as much as we want you, don’t you, honey?”

  “Yeah.” Kara sighed out her answer before she even registered she was going to speak, and when she realized what she’d said, she stiffened and pulled away.

  Nixon was staring at her and Nathan kept glancing her way before looking back at the road.

  “There is no way we are going to let you take that back, Kara,” Nathan said. “After we’ve had lunch at our mom and dad’s, we are all going to sit down and talk.”

  “I can’t get involved with you,” Kara said in a firm voice.

  “Why the hell not?” Nixon practically snarled his question.

  “You’re my bosses.”

  “What does that have to do with anything?” Nathan asked as he slowed the truck, flicked the indicator on, and then turned the corner.

  “It’s never a good idea to mix business and pleasure.”

  “You’re not even one of our patients, honey,” Nixon said.

  “Nix is right. It’s not like we would be breaking any rules.”

  “It wouldn’t work out.”

  “How the hell can you say that when we haven’t even tried yet?” It was Nathan’s turn to snap at her.

  “What would you do if we did start a relationship and then you found out you didn’t like me as much as you think?”

  “That won’t happen, Kara.” Nixon placed his hands over hers and pried them apart. Kara hadn’t even noticed that she had been wringing them together in her lap until then. He threaded his fingers with hers and squeezed them gently. “Look at me, honey.”

  Another shudder wracked up her spine and through her body. It seemed she liked it when they used those forceful voices on her.

  “We aren’t going to let you ignore this attraction anymore. We’ll talk more later.”

  It was then that Kara realized she was fighting a losing battle. No matter how hard she tried to keep herself at a distance, it wasn’t working. They only had to give her a command and she complied without question. And she wanted to be with them more than anything.

  But the million dollar question was, would she be able to keep her past hidden from them?

  Chapter Six

  Kara sighed with relief when Nixon helped her out of the truck and was glad that their parents lived on a ranch. The wide open spaces and fresh clean air helped to alleviate the tension from her muscles.

  Nixon guided her toward the sprawling ranch house and Nathan walked behind them. Just as they got to the bottom of the steps, the screen door was pushed open and an elderly woman and man came outside.

  Nixon and Nathan’s mother wasn’t much taller than Kara but she had the same shade of green eyes they had. Their father was nearly as tall and as muscular as they were and he had silver threaded through his dark brown hair. Even though he had to be at least twenty years older than his sons, he still looked fit and muscular. She knew then that this was how Nixon and Nathan would look when they got older.

  Their mother rushed forward and before Kara knew what she was about, the older woman had enfolded her in her arms. Tears burned the back of her eyes and she felt acceptance and a p
eace she’d never felt before.

  “You must be Kara,” Mrs. Charleston said as she released her, and then she held out a hand to her husband “We’ve heard so much about you. You’re so pretty. Call me Fiona, and this is Case. Now why don’t we go inside? We can have a nice chat while I finish preparing lunch.”

  Kara held her hand out to Case but was again surprised by the affectionate couple. Case totally ignored her hand and pulled her in for a hug. When he released her, she kept her head lowered, hoping that no one could see the moisture in her eyes, and let Fiona guide her inside. The house was homey and it made her realize how much she’d missed by not having parents, but she pushed those sad thoughts aside when she entered the kitchen. It was so light and bright, with older appliances, and even though it was clean Kara could tell that this room was the heart and soul of the Charleston family home. The large timber table on the other side of the room was scarred from many years of use but there was a fresh vase of flowers gracing the center. She could just imagine Fiona, Case, and a younger Nathan and Nixon sitting at that table enjoying a home-cooked meal while they talked about their days to each other.

  She took a deep, shuddering breath and let it out slowly. There was an ache in the middle of her chest and she wanted to rub the pain away, but when she caught Fiona watching her she gave her a tentative smile.

  “You have a wonderful home.”

  “Thank you, dear.”

  “Can I do something to help you?”

  Although Kara knew how to cook—she and the other kids had been given lessons until they had been proficient with the skill and as they grew older, she and the other older kids were given the tasks of cooking all the meals—she didn’t bother cooking much now. She couldn’t see the point of going to all that trouble for just one person, so she usually made a salad or nuked a frozen dinner.

  “Thanks for the offer, but I have everything under control. Take a seat.” Fiona pointed to the stool on the other side of the counter.

  After Kara sat down she watched Fiona flit around the kitchen. The other woman glanced and smiled at her often.

  “You saved my boys when you agreed to become their administration assistant. The last few weeks have been hard on them. They already work such long hours, but when the last girl resigned she left them in a pickle.”

  “They saved me, too.”

  “They did?”

  Kara nodded and went on to explain how she’d lost her job. Fiona clicked her tongue with sympathy and then gave her another smile.

  “I think you saved each other.” Fiona paused to check on the cooking potatoes and then turned back to dicing the capsicums. “Tell me all about yourself, Kara.”

  “There isn’t much to tell.”

  “Oh, I’m sure that’s not true. Where did you grow up?”

  “Here in Tigard.”

  Fiona nodded, glanced at the clock, rushed over to the stove, and turned it off. She drained the potatoes and then ran cold water over them.

  “Tell me about your parents. Do they live nearby?”

  Kara felt the blood drain from her face and her body went rigid with tension. She was glad that Fiona wasn’t looking at her because her mouth opened and closed a few times but she couldn’t form any words.

  Fiona turned to look at her and the smile left her face. She dropped the knife she’d been holding onto the chopping board and rushed around the end of the counter to Kara.

  “Oh, love. What’s wrong? I’m sorry if my question upset you.”

  Kara shook her head but the tears that had started burning the back of her eyeballs pooled and then fell over her eyelids. Fiona wrapped her arms around Kara and pulled her into her embrace. Her face was resting against her plump breasts and although she tried desperately to stop the tears, she ended up sobbing her heart out. Fiona just held her and stroked her hair and head until finally the storm began to recede. When she finally had herself under control, she lifted her head and wiped her face.

  Fiona took a box of tissues from the sideboard and passed them to her. After she’d mopped up Fiona led her over to that gleaming scarred table, seated her, and sat down next to her.

  “You have a world of pain stored up inside you, love. You need to talk about it so it doesn’t fester inside.”

  “I don’t know if I can,” Kara said in a hoarse voice.

  “You don’t have any parents do you, love?” Fiona reached out and gripped her hand.

  Kara shook her head.

  “Did you grow up in foster homes?”

  Again she shook her head.

  Fiona sighed and she could see the concern in her eyes. “The orphanage?”

  Kara nodded.

  “Was it a bad place?”

  “No.”

  “Thank heavens. Kara, you know that my boys are attracted to you, don’t you?”

  Again she nodded.

  Fiona smiled and reached out to cup her cheek. “Do you know that they are Doms?”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “You need to trust them, love. My boys can help you get rid of that pain inside you.”

  Kara shook her head.

  “Do you trust them?” Fiona asked.

  “Yes.”

  “That’s good. Do you trust me?”

  “Yes,” Kara answered immediately and emphatically.

  “I want you to let my boys top you.”

  Kara frowned. She’d heard that term before but couldn’t remember where.

  Fiona squeezed her hand. “I can tell you don’t understand.”

  Kara shook her head.

  “I want you to let Nathan and Nixon dominate you.”

  The light bulb in Kara’s head flicked on. Fiona wanted her sons to be her Doms. Did that mean she thought she was a submissive?

  Kara looked away and took a deep breath, before meeting Fiona’s eyes again, but as she opened her mouth Fiona held up a finger. “I want you to listen to me and when I’ve finished you can ask any question you like. All right?”

  “Okay.”

  “Case is also a dominant and I am his submissive, but only in the bedroom. Being submissive doesn’t mean you have to be a slave. Although there is nothing wrong with that if all parties are agreeable. But I’m not that way inclined and neither are you.”

  Kara couldn’t see Fiona being submissive to anyone, but kept that opinion to herself.

  “I let my husband tie me up and spank me. He also flogs me and then he makes love to me. It’s a freeing experience, Kara, but it can also be cathartic. Don’t think that my boys would ever hurt you, because they wouldn’t, and Case never hurts me either. Not in the true sense of the word, but a bit of pain mixed in with pleasure is very erotic. But having your ass spanked or the falls of a flogger kissing your skin can bring all those emotions out. You will probably cry a lot the first time, but that’s the whole purpose of the exercise. A good Dom can set free all that pain you have bottled up inside. I’d trust Case with my life and know he’d never do anything to intentionally hurt me. Nate and Nix would never hurt you either.”

  “But what if…” Kara bit her lip as she hesitated.

  Fiona squeezed her hand. “What if what, Kara?”

  “What if they don’t really like the person I am deep down inside? What if I end up caring for them and things don’t work out?”

  “My boys have never brought a woman home before, Kara. That tells me that you are special to them. I understand why you think that way, but look at it from another perspective. What if what you have is so good you all end up falling in love?”

  * * * *

  Nate, Nixon, and their dad had walked to the end of the verandah to get out of the wind. They were just outside the open glass door to the dining room but not in view. They’d been talking quietly when Nate had heard his mom ask Kara about her parents. When he heard her crying he wanted to rush inside, enfold her in his arms, and had been about to do just that when his father had placed a hand on his shoulder and shaken his head.

  He a
nd Nixon had both had a hard time listening to Kara without going to offer her comfort, but when they heard their mom going to bat for them he wanted to cheer. He hated that their woman had grown up alone in that orphanage but was glad she hadn’t found it too terrible. When their mom had begun to explain a little about BDSM he’d wanted to go inside to sit in on the conversation and put his own two cents in, but he knew that Kara would be embarrassed if she knew that they had been listening in.

  They were only starting to gain her trust and he didn’t want her to feel as if they had betrayed her and send her running in the opposite direction again.

  Nathan wanted to go inside, sling Kara over his shoulder, and carry her out, but he knew he’d catch hell from his dad if he did. Their mom expected them to share a meal with them and if he and Nix did anything to upset their mother they would catch hell from their father.

  “Will you let them help you, love?”

  “I—”

  “My boys would talk to you first, honey. They’ll sit down and ask you questions about what you’re willing and unwilling to try. They’ve been trained to pick up on body language and reactions so they’ll know what your hard and soft limits are. Plus, you’ll always have a safe word. Do you know what that is?”

  “I think so.” Kara paused. “Isn’t it a word the submissive says that stops whatever is going on?”

  “Yes, that is exactly what a safe word is,” Fiona said. “The most common words used are the traffic-light scenario. A good Dom will often ask their sub where they are at, comfort wise, during play. If the sub is okay with what’s happening then the answer is green. If she isn’t sure, nervous, or a little afraid about what is going on then she would use yellow. But if the sub is feeling too much and is really frightened then the answer would be red. Do you understand?”

  “I think so.”

  “Good. Why not give it a try? If you don’t like it then you won’t ever have to let them dominate you again, but at least you’d know whether you were suited to the lifestyle or not.”

  “But…I work for them.” Nate heard the tremble in her voice and held his breath to see what his mom would say. He had a feeling that Kara’s decision hinged on his mom’s response.