Karma (Balancing the Scales Book 1)

by RJ Blain

  Witch? I was a fox. I clawed at the woman in my effort to get her to release me, and she gave me a shake so strong it rattled my teeth together.

  “Stop that. You’ve caused me enough trouble for one day. Couldn’t you have left one alive for questioning? Was that too much to ask? Just one?”

  I twisted enough in the woman’s grip to regard her with an eye. The memory of who the female was lurked beneath the surface, but I recoiled from the knowledge.

  If I remembered her, I would remember other things—the painful things foxes didn’t care about. As long as I rejected everything about humanity, I wouldn’t have to face why there was no answer to my calling screams.

  Knowing there wouldn’t be an answer—that it was all my fault he was gone—was already too much for me to handle.

  “Come on, then. Maybe Mellisa can figure out what to do with you, because I’m fresh out of ideas. I should just dump you onto the pup’s lap and make him deal with you.”

  I had no idea what the woman was talking about, which worried another whimper out of me.

  “Oh, stop that. Haven’t you figured out we’re not going to hurt you?” The woman sighed. “I should be thanking you for snapping in a remote location. It makes cleaning up and hiding the evidence so much easier without curious Normals around.”

  One of us was crazy, and I wasn’t convinced it was me.

  My graveyard of destroyed SUVs had a visiting group of humans, and I chattered my agitation at the pervasive stench of death in the air. The hum of conversation halted when the woman carrying me stepped out of the forest.

  I counted eight humans, and they stopped sifting through the debris littering the lawn to gawk at me.

  “Mellisa? Can I borrow your eyes, please?”

  “Why can’t you ask if I would take a look or something nicer? Whenever you say that, I think you’re going to put my eyes in a jar of formaldehyde when you’re done using them.” A woman shook her head, and I recognized her.

  I shied away from the memories that gave her relevance to me, and I flattened my ears.

  The one named Pauline sighed. “What do you think?”

  “I bet she sinks like a stone if you put her in water.”

  Pauline laughed. “Been doing that since the day that pup of mine met her. What else can you tell me?”

  “She isn’t a Fenerec. What she is, though, I have no idea. Her aura’s clean, so whatever she is, she’s doing it on her own—no sign of having stolen someone’s abilities. There’s a lot of fluctuation in her aura, and if my guess is right, she’s suppressing.”

  “She bit Sebastian’s nose.”

  “He probably deserved it. Come on. You can’t just tell me something like that without elaborating.”

  “She was pretending to be an alligator, and he went for a drink of water a little too close. Didn’t see her. When she couldn’t get a hold on his throat, she latched onto his nose.”

  “How do you miss a huge fox hiding in the water?”

  “Blended right in. She was fully submerged except for her nose, I think. I didn’t actually see her until she was already on Sebastian and trying to drive him away from her territory.”

  “What type of earth witch likes water?”

  “You’ll have to ask my pup that.”

  “Out of the question. He’s down and out for the count. Your mate’s standing guard.”

  “How is he?”

  “Tired, but he’ll be fine.”

  Pauline sighed, and I suspected the sweetness in her scent was relief. “What’s the plan?”

  “We’re going to tow the SUVs, pick up the evidence we can, torch the place, and sterilize it. Not much else we can do. It’s a mess. From what we can tell, she ambushed them as they came in, probably in sets of two to four. It was pretty systematic. Went for the throat for the kills and did the rest of the damage after they were dead. Do you want my professional opinion?”

  “Yes.”

  “She’s the type to roll with the punches, as long as the punches are aimed at her. Those bodies told me one story: she wanted to watch the world burn, and I have no doubts she didn’t care if they killed her. The instant she stops suppressing, it’s going to get ugly. I’d rather not have to put her down. Take her to your pup. Maybe we’ll get lucky and everything will work itself out. Once I figure out what she is, I can probably do something for her, but for now? It’s your job to keep her from losing her shit and going on another rampage. Good luck. I have a feeling you’re going to need it.”

  When Pauline carried me to a pale SUV parked clear of the wreckage, a man’s voice announced, “According to this, foxes live in family groups called skulks. I’m a little jealous, babe.”

  “Sebastian, what are you doing?”

  “What does it look like? I’m educating myself about foxes. I don’t think she’s a red fox nor any of its color mutations. She’s too muscular and broad in the chest. The closest I’ve found is a blue-coated Siberian arctic, but they’re a lot smaller. Actually, I wouldn’t want to meet the males of her species in a dark alley. Male foxes are a lot larger than the females, and she’s already about the size of a coyote. The males are probably closer in size to wolves.”

  “Find anything out about her behavior?”

  “That screaming she was doing was probably a call for her mate or skulk. Beyond that? The chittering was equivalent to our snarling or growling. It seems she was trying to warn us off and was willing to fight. The bark’s a warning call.”

  “Mellisa said to keep her with our pup and hope for the best.”

  “She’s given up already?”

  “I think she just wants to start lighting things on fire so we can get out of here.”

  “Can’t say I blame her. Hand the vixen over, then.”

  I should have taken advantage of the transfer to make a run for it, but I was too tired. Whenever I breathed, a pleasant, soothing scent filled my nose and relaxed me. The smell was of a male partnered with cinnamon and some other warm spice.

  “Don’t put her with him yet. Watch her. She’s fixating on his scent.”

  Sebastian laughed, holding me close to his chest. I snuffled, pressing my nose to the man’s clothing. His wasn’t the male scent I liked, and I twisted my ears back. “I’m willing to bet my badge this is her first shift. At least she’s not trying to kill me any more.”

  Humans confused me, but there was something familiar about both of them, and familiarity birthed a sense of safety and security. Humans were a better option than overgrown wolves. It was easier to submit and wait to see what would come.

  As long as they didn’t hurt me, I wouldn’t hurt them. Until I rested and could hunt on my own, I would take advantage of their watchful eyes.

  I was a fox, and foxes were opportunists. That much I remembered.

  Satisfied with my plan, I closed my eyes and focused on the scent I liked and found comforting without knowing why.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  I dreamed Jake lived, and he held me close and chased my nightmares away.

  I wanted nothing more than my dream to be the truth, but I remembered. I knew better. Death was long in coming for me, but Jake was already gone.

  All it took was a single bullet to kill someone, and I remembered the four cracks of gunfire and the sound of his body hitting the ground. No matter how many times I analyzed the situation, nothing changed. My body had shielded him enough the bullets would have struck his upper chest or head, decreasing his chance of survival. His arm had spasmed convulsively before he fell.

  The first round had hit me. The rest hadn’t.

  The shooting taking place in such a public venue would have raised his chances a little. There had been witnesses. I remembered their screams.

  How long did it take for an ambulance to reach someone in London?

  If I could return to the water so it could numb me, things wouldn’t be so bad. If I never woke up to a world without Jake in it, I wouldn’t really be happy, but it was better t
han the alternative. His loss was my fault. They had wanted me.

  Jake had been in their way.

  The pain started as a deep throb in my right—my human—shoulder, and I counted the beats of my heart to delay waking up. I missed the comfort of having fur and the barrier it provided against the world.

  If Ma found out I was dreaming about foxes again, she’d finish what the round to the shoulder had started.

  “Go back to sleep.” Jake’s voice was whisper soft, a little hoarse, and had a rumble to it I didn’t often hear.

  I sighed. I must have died after all. Death wasn’t supposed to be painful; I never thought those who theorized the afterlife was merely a continuation of life had it right. How long would it take for me to realize I no longer had a body?

  I should have been at least a little embarrassed over how happy it made me to know we had found each other after death. Had I somehow not used up all my good karma getting my revenge on those who had killed us?

  Then again, I had probably bled out before having a chance to get my revenge, which was a rather disappointing conclusion to my life, and I told Jake so.

  Jake spluttered, then he laughed, and once he was done with his chortling, he held me closer and nuzzled my neck. “While I was shot, Karma, I’m not dead, and neither are you.”

  Denial made sense in the afterlife. We didn’t want to be dead, so it was logical to deny the truth. “You were shot three times. Of course you’re dead.”

  “Four, actually. The one round went right through you and hit me, too. Haven’t you figured out you can’t get rid of me that easily?”

  “I can tell. You found me in the afterlife,” I informed him, rather pleased the myth about finding loved ones after death was the truth.

  Jake laughed, and his breath both warmed and tickled my throat. “I’m going to have to have a talk with the doctor about your painkillers.”

  “Painkillers? There are painkillers in the afterlife?”

  “No, painkillers are for living people only. You have a hole in your shoulder. If you take a look, you’ll see you have a sling keeping you from moving your arm. Look on the bright side; we’re sharing a bed, and it isn’t in a hospital. You don’t even have an IV. Granted, that’s only because they stopped putting it back in after you ripped it out five times.”

  “You’re taking the denial of our deaths thing too far,” I complained, contemplating cracking open an eye to verify my surroundings. Little facts were filtering in through my head, and the throbbing in my shoulder rose to the top of the list. The steady rhythm of Jake’s breath on my throat came a close second.

  Birds were singing somewhere nearby.

  Jake trailed kisses up my neck to my cheek. “You’re ridiculous. You’re alive, and so am I.”

  “But you were shot three times. I was shielding you. They could have only shot you in the chest, neck, or head. All potentially fatal. Three rounds? Very probably lethal.”

  “Four, Karma. One graze from the round that went through your shoulder and three through the shoulder, though one got a little too close to my chest for comfort. I’m sore, but I’m a lot better off than you are.”

  “You’re telling me what I want to hear. That’s more proof we’re actually dead.”

  “You could just open your eyes and stop arguing with me,” Jake suggested, pulling away from me. A moment later, I felt him poke my cheek. “You’re being ridiculous.”

  “You found me in the afterlife to torment me, didn’t you?”

  “Yes, that is exactly what happened. I hunted you down in the afterlife to torture you for the rest of eternity.”

  “You’re an asshole, Jake.”

  “Is there a reason you’re refusing to open your eyes?”

  I sighed. “I’m dead. I don’t need to open my eyes.”

  “Says the woman who just sighed at me. How can you sigh without a body? Dead people can’t sigh. They can’t talk, either. Obviously, you’re still alive.”

  My head was starting to hurt almost as much as my shoulder. “You’re giving me a headache.”

  “Dead people don’t get headaches, either. You’re just going to have to accept you’re still alive.”

  If I was alive, then I had to be dreaming, and I didn’t want to wake up to the disappointment of reality. “So I’m dreaming then?”

  “You’re really being stubborn about this. Just open your eyes, woman.”

  “But you’ll be gone.”

  Jake laughed and kissed my forehead. “I’ll go get the doctor. Maybe he can talk some sense into you while he gives you some more painkillers.”

  The fear he’d disappear and never return choked off my breath. I reached for him, and the pain in my shoulder crested, the throb exploding into stabbing agony. A strangled cry escaped my throat.

  Weight settled on my chest, and hands cupped my face. “Stay still,” Jake ordered. “Damnit, I wasn’t going to go far, just to the door.”

  I shuddered and went limp, whimpering at the pulsing throb ripping through me. Tears burned my eyes, hot on my cold cheeks. “Don’t leave.”

  “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, I promise. Lie still and breathe.”

  Breathing helped, but it also hurt. “This is proof you’re dead and this is a dream. You’re fine and I’m not. You were shot, too,” I whispered.

  Jake pressed his forehead to mine, and I cracked open an eye to peek through my lashes. A dim light illuminated the room enough for me to make out his features, although my vision blurred.

  “You don’t remember?”

  “Remember? Remember what?” When he didn’t disappear, I blinked, and he pulled away enough I could see his smile.

  “Looks like you’re not dead or dreaming. See? Still here.” Jake rolled off me, propping himself up on an elbow. With his other hand, he gave his shoulder a pat, drawing my attention to his bare chest, which had a square bandage taped over his shoulder. A long, healing scab cut over his ribs and along his side.

  Two scabbed over, circular wounds flanked the white patch.

  I stared. His injuries had had a lot of time to heal.

  “Here.” Jake took my left hand in his and gently lifted my arm, pressing my palm to his chest. His warmth seeped into me, and I slid my fingers to the nearest scab. Jake’s breath hissed through his teeth, and I jerked my hand away.

  I’d been shot enough times to recognize Jake had been a long time in healing. Turning cold from dismay, I gaped at him. “How long have I been out?”

  Had I been in a coma? A thousand questions tumbled through my head until my fears and worries drowned them out and left me shivering.

  Jake stretched out beside me and rested his head beside mine, nestling his chin against my shoulder. “It’s all right. You’re fine. We were attacked four days ago.”

  There was no way his injuries had happened four days ago. Careful to avoid moving my right arm, I pointed at his shoulder. “That’s been healing for weeks, not days. Don’t lie to me, Jake.”

  I couldn’t force myself to voice my fears.

  “It’s only been four days, Karma. I swear it. You really don’t remember anything?”

  I remembered the pain and awareness of death coming for me before I had dreamed of life as a fox in search of vengeance. The dream had likely been hallucinations induced by blood loss, and once I’d been found, whatever painkillers they had me on likely accounted for the rest. “Nothing coherent,” I admitted.

  Jake sighed. “All right. Are you going to let me go to the door? You might be the toughest woman I know, but you can’t hide the fact you’re in pain, not from me. Anyone else would probably be screaming or crying right now. I want the doc to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself.”

  With Jake nestled between my right shoulder and throat, I couldn’t see over him, and I wasn’t brave enough to lift my head to see how far away the door was. The giddiness of relief washed over me, and I swallowed a giggle.

  If I let a single one out, I’d succumb to them, and
I had no doubt laughing would hurt. Deep breaths hurt, too, but it beat turning into a giggling or crying mess.

  Until my shoulder healed, which would take weeks at the very least, I’d be reliant on too many people, which would be embarrassing enough. If anyone found out about my afterlife conversation with Jake, I’d never live it down.

  “Hey, Jake?”

  “What?”

  “Don’t you dare tell anyone I thought we were dead.”

  Laughing, Jake lurched upright, leaned over to kiss my forehead, and rolled out of bed. He winced as he stood. A large bandage was taped to his back. When he rolled his shoulders, his joints cracked.

  “Please?” I begged.

  Jake stretched his arms over his head, and I admired the flex of his muscles. Once he finished raising both arms over his head and working out the kinks, he turned to me and pouted.

  His expression coupled with his lack of clothes was so absurd a giggle slipped out of me. I choked back the second one, resulting in a snort. Instead of answering me, his pout shifted to a smirk. Scowling, I lifted my left hand and flipped him my middle finger.

  “All right, all right. I won’t tell anyone you were convinced we were having a conversation while dead, but you’re going to owe me.”

  The man was going to drive me insane at the rate he was going. “I can’t tell if I love you or love hating you,” I confessed.

  Jake’s smile was radiant. “I love you, too.”

  Pivoting on a heel, he headed to the door while whistling a merry tune.

  “It’s just the drugs talking, you know,” I called after him.

  “Sure it is.” He paused long enough to blow me a kiss before unlatching the door and sticking his head out into hallway. It didn’t take him long before he made his way back to the bed, slid under the covers beside me, and snuggled close.

  “You really went to the door naked, didn’t you?”

  “Got a problem with it?”

  I thought about it. Did I have a problem with him prancing around naked?

  I didn’t have to think long on it.