by Davis, Mary
He gave a half laugh at that. “Gretchen told you about Lon?”
“Over and over. She couldn’t believe he only waited seventeen minutes. We women like to know our men are in for the long haul.”
He thought about his mother’s words. He was ready to take wedding vows for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. But did he understand what that could mean? If the worst happened and they were dirt poor and she became chronically ill, did he want to be the one at her side—forever?
“Mom, I love her so much.”
“But you worry if you love her enough.”
He sighed. “I want to hold her in my arms and make her pain go away, to give her everything she ever longed for.” He dropped his head. “But I can’t do that, can I?”
“That’s up to God. You have a decision to make. Do you want to live the rest of your life with Lori? Or do you want to live the rest of your life without her?”
He laid his head back against the headrest. He wanted Lorelei and children. It was never a choice he thought he would have to make.
❧
That night Lori woke up in a cold sweat. The nightmare again. Only this time Garth was there, in the light. He looked down at her with disgust and wrenched the child from her. “You can’t have this.” His voice was laced with loathing. Then the black desolation and oppression enveloped her.
She cried into her pillow until the early morning light.
Nineteen
“I can’t believe you won’t even consider adoption,” Josie said, incensed. She had been after Lori all day about Garth and the situation.
“It’s not like a real family.”
“Thanks a lot. Adoptive families are as real as any other family—to be chosen and know you are wanted. Isn’t my family real? A real family is people caring for one another. There are so-called families I wouldn’t want to be a part of. I’m glad for the parents I have. The parents who chose me, wanted me, raised me.”
What was she talking about? Why was she so upset about this?
“Don’t look at me as if I have a third eye,” Josie said. “You had to know I was adopted.”
“You? Adopted? But your family is so close.”
“The key word is family. Maybe not by blood, but certainly by choice. You’ve never noticed I look nothing like either one of my parents? They have light brown hair; mine is nearly black. They have fair skin; my complexion is olive. My eyes are so dark brown you can hardly see the pupils; theirs are blue and hazel. I’m sure that somewhere in my ancestry is a Greek and possibly a Romanian, but it’s not my mother or father. It’s someone whose blood runs through my veins, my ancestors, but not my family.”
Lori understood what Josie was saying. Family was more than blood, and her family was proof of that.
“As Christians we’re adopted,” Josie said. “An adopted child has rights and privileges that even natural-born children don’t have. God has made adoption special. You could be a wonderful mother to some child who has no more hope, a child who needs to be loved. And a man out there is waiting to share that future with you.”
Josie’s words pierced her. She was punishing herself, perpetuating herself as a victim. She was tired of being hurt and lonely, longing for what could never be. It was time to get on with her life, to stop feeling sorry for herself and thinking of what she could have. If Garth could still love her. If he could live with—her—defects. She would gladly give it a try. If he were willing. If it wasn’t too late.
Lori walked out onto the snow-covered deck and looked toward the trees and shadows that concealed Garth’s place. A shiver rolled through her. She retreated to her room and picked up the little photo book Garth had given her. She turned the pages slowly but stopped when she came to the pair of pictures on adjacent pages at the Somewhere in Time marker. She focused on the first picture, the one she hadn’t known at the time the man had taken. She had been thinking how Garth had manipulated the situation to get a picture of them together. Her internal voice had cautioned her then. Careful, girl, or you’ll lose your heart to him. But the warning came too late. She had lost her heart to him ten years ago and hadn’t even known it.
She looked about the room. Once again all she would be taking from here would be her memories. She closed her eyes. Thank You, Lord, for giving me these new memories. You know I want more, but I’m determined to be content with what You have given me.
She opened her Bible to Proverbs and read: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Father God, forgive me for not trusting You. I guess I never really have beyond my salvation. I didn’t trust You when I forgave Ray Kent. I did it on my own strength and understanding, but You blessed me anyway. Garth deserves someone who can give him everything. If I had trusted You, things might be different. I should probably go and apologize in person to him, but I can’t bring myself to face him. I surrender completely to You. She took a deep breath. Please bring a wonderful woman into Garth’s life.
❧
Three more days passed with no word from Garth.
“Are you sure you want to leave with me today?” Josie said.
“I think it’s best.”
“You should at least tell him you’re leaving.”
“I’m gathering my courage to call. I’d go over there, but I don’t think my hip is up to a trek in several feet of snow. It’ll be hard enough getting up the driveway to my car. If the phone conversation goes okay, maybe I’ll consider staying.” If she heard any hope in his voice at all, she would stay. She felt sapped of emotion. She had accepted late in the night that she might have lost Garth for good. And if that were the case, she would cherish the memories with him but was determined to get on with her life. She should call Garth so they could be on their way. She had written him a note in case he refused to talk to her. But first she would finish her tea.
They sat in silence for a while longer clutching their mugs of cold tea. The sudden knock at the door cut through the silence. They both jumped and looked at one another. Josie rose, straightening her robe, and peeked out the window. Lori heard a small, whispered voice; then Josie closed the door, handing a thick envelope to her. Lorelei was scrawled on it in Garth’s best writing with a little flourish underneath and a small heart in place of the o in her name.
She opened the envelope slowly, trying to keep her hopes in check. The note could say anything, like “Sorry, but I think you were right, so long.” But the heart—it was a heart of hope.
Just a short note to tell you I’m smiling. I have hope again. I believe with all my heart you are the one for me. I’m trusting God to make it so. I made you a promise of lasting love. I will not go back on it nor my promise of marriage. I will be here when you are ready, even if it takes a lifetime.
He poured out his heart and his dreams of their future: page after page, scenario after scenario, of what their life together could be like. Endless possibilities. Each one ended with “and they lived happily ever after.”
I guess this is more than a short note, but once I got started I couldn’t stop. You are so easy to talk to. One more thing—I applied for a teaching position on Mackinac Island, and Will thinks I have it clinched—though it isn’t official. He’s looking for a house for us. Yours truly, now and forever, Garth.
P.S. Look out the window at the lake. A surprise awaits you.
She pulled back the curtain, and her breath caught. A broad path had been shoveled from the beach out a ways onto the ice. The dock that floated in the water by summer rested upon the now-frozen lake. The dock where she had first encountered Garth.
Josie came up beside her and looked out. “What fool would drag a dock out on the ice?” After a moment she said with a smile in her voice, “A fool in love.”
Like Ne-Daw-Mist, the Indian maiden on Mackinac Island held captive by her father, Lori had been held captive by her own s
elf-pity, and Garth was her brave of the sky people. Or was he the fairy king of this enchanted lake?
Lord, thank You for a second chance. Thank You for bringing me here. And thank You for Your love and Garth’s.
Snow or not, she had to go see him—now. Even if she had to crawl the whole way. “I won’t be going with you today.”
“Duh.”
She gave Josie a quick hug and slipped into her coat. But when she opened the door she stopped short. Garth stood in the breezeway, leaning against the woodbox.
“How did you know?”
“I told you in my letter I’d be here when you were ready.” He held out his arms.
She stepped down into the breezeway and into his embrace. “I’m ready.”
His gaze captivated her. “Miss Lorelei Hayes, will you marry me?”
She found she had no breath to answer him and nodded.
He leaned forward as if to kiss her then pulled back and handed her a small black-and-white stuffed cow. “The first of many.”
“Why are you giving me a cow?”
“Did I ever tell you the story about the South Seas man and the eight cows?”
“No.” She blinked several times.
“It can wait until later. I have other plans at the moment.” He captured her lips with his.
Who cared about cows? She sighed and leaned into his embrace. She was home.
About the Author
MARY DAVIS is a full-time writer whose first published novel was Newlywed Games from Multnomah. She enjoys going into schools and talking to kids about writing. Mary lives near Colorado’s Rocky Mountains with her husband, three children, and six pets.
Dedication
Dedicated to my in-laws, Glenn and Joan,
whose lakeside cottage sparked the idea for this novel.
A note from the Author:
I love to hear from my readers! You may correspond with me by writing:
Mary Davis
Author Relations
PO Box 719
Uhrichsville, OH 44683