Fire & Flesh

by Kerri Carr

  “Is something wrong?” He asked. “You wouldn’t be over here surfing the Internet would you?”

  Olivia looked up with fear in her eyes. She would never do something like that. The suggestion offended her. She cleared her throat and spoke up for herself.

  “No, Sir. I’m completing the Johnson and Saunders case briefs. They are due this afternoon.”

  When she’d finished speaking, she noticed that the smile had disappeared from his face. She immediately had the sense that she’d done something wrong but once again she didn’t know what.

  “What did you call me?” He asked in a menacing voice.

  Moments later she realized her mistake. She’d forgotten to address him as Sir Carter. Her eyes darted around the office. If she had to say it, she at least wanted to make sure that no one was listening to her.

  “I’m sorry, Sir Carter. I made a mistake and it won’t happen again.”

  A satisfied smile quickly reappeared on Carter’s face. “I don’t think I could hear you,” he said. “Would you mind speaking louder?”

  Olivia almost choked when she heard that. He was actually going to make her call him ‘Sir Carter’ in front of the other employees? She couldn’t figure why he was playing these types of power games with her. She’d never done anything in the office to deserve this type of harsh treatment.

  “I’m sorry, Sir Carter,” Olivia said. “I’m very sorry.”

  “That’s better. But don’t let it happen again.”

  “Yes, Sir Carter. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

  “Good. Finish up what you’re doing and be in my office in fifteen minutes.”

  Olivia bowed her head. Her tongue was stuck in her throat. She was too shaken up to speak. She would have to go back in his office. She was very worried about what he would make her do next. This is not what she’d signed up for and she didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to handle it.

  She looked around the office to see if anyone else had noticed what had just happened. A few heads turned towards her then quickly turned away. She heard whispering coming from different corners of the room. She couldn’t make out what anybody was saying, but she was convinced that she was the topic of conversation. That sort of public scolding didn’t happen in this office.

  *****

  Fifteen minutes later, Olivia walked towards her boss’ office. She had a queasy feeling in her stomach. She had the urge to rush off to the bathroom. But she knew that any delay would only upset her boss even more. It would give him another reason to punish and humiliate her.

  She gently knocked on the door. There was no reply. She raised her fist to knock again and the door suddenly opened. Carter stared at her coldly. “Come in and sit down,” he said.

  Olivia felt a shiver pass through her body.

  “As I began explaining to you this morning,” Carter said, “Good is not what we’re looking for at this firm. I have to know that everyone in this office is one hundred percent loyal to me.”

  Olivia had the urge to blurt something out but she managed to hold her tongue. She figured she would be better off waiting until Carter made it clear that he expected her to speak. Until then, silence would probably be her best option.

  “Do you understand why that’s important?” he asked.

  She shook her head yes, then cleared her throat. Now she knew that she had to either speak or risk angering her boss.

  “Yes, Sir Carter. I understand. Completely.”

  “I see that you’re starting to pick things up. But I want to be very clear, I expect you to refer to me as Sir Carter at all times. And I expect you to obey whatever demands I issue. Is that clear?”

  “Yes, Sir Carter.”

  Carter smiled then turned his back on her. Once again he appeared to be taking great pleasure in this game he was playing. It was clear that he intended to take things further.

  “I know it doesn’t seem like it these days,” Carter said, looking down at his impeccably tailored suit. “But I’m actually much more comfortable in a pair of Wrangler’s, boots, and a ten-gallon hat.”

  Olivia’s mouth opened wide in surprise. “A cowboy?”

  Carter nodded his head up and down.

  Olivia covered her mouth to keep from laughing. It seemed so strange to her. She would have never guessed that he was anything but a high-powered attorney. Apparently, there were more layers to him than she would have ever expected.

  While Carter paced around the office in silence, Olivia trembled in her chair. She couldn’t remember ever having felt so small. Weeks ago, she’d thought that this job in a prestigious law firm would help build up her confidence. But now she felt every bit of confidence and self-belief being ripped away from her. This man was turning her into a groveling, subservient employee. She hated that feeling, yet at the same time she felt hypnotized by it.

  “Do you have a man in your life?” Carter asked.

  Olivia paused before answering the question. She was single and had been single for a long time. She hated talking about her dating life with friends and family. That was bad enough. She never imagined that she would have to talk about something so personal with her boss.

  She was too flustered too answer. Her eyes bounced around the room. She appeared to be looking, at least subconsciously, for an escape. None was forthcoming and she knew it. She would either have to answer the prying personal question or face the consequences.

  For a moment, Carter’s face appeared to soften. Maybe a warm, empathetic thought was passing through his mind. Or maybe he was just setting her up for further humiliation.

  The imperious boss sat back down in his chair. He locked his fingers in front of his face and sighed.

  “I don’t mean to be intrusive,” he said. “But there are certain things that I must know before I proceed any further. Some of these things may make you uncomfortable or embarrassed. But that’s not my problem. You choose to work at this law firm. And no one ever told you that it was going to be easy.”

  Olivia felt like saying something smart and biting in response. But she knew that would be akin to suicide. There was no way that Carter would tolerate any sort of resistance from employees. He was making it clear that he expected one hundred percent cooperation, one hundred percent of the time. Any sort of insubordination would be severely punished.

  Despite how important she knew obedience was if she wanted to keep this job, something in her revolted. She couldn’t bring herself to answer the question. She didn’t want to play this game any longer. She considered getting up and leaving the office and never coming back again. If she could get hired here, then plenty of other law firms would be willing to give her an opportunity to prove herself. And that’s all she wanted. She didn’t want to be treated differently. She wanted to be treated fairly, like everyone else.

  So why did she stay? She wouldn’t have been able to explain it herself. But she felt all sorts of contradictions surging within her. She had a desire to be treated like everyone else. Yet the idea that she was being singled out for a special kind of treatment—whether that treatment was good or bad—was extremely exciting to her.

  She wouldn’t have been able to explain it like that, though. She could feel the mix of emotions swelling within her.

  She swallowed hard. “Whatever you want, Sir.”

  “You might not have heard, but I’m looking for a woman to mother my firstborn child. And I'm not just looking for any woman. I'm looking for a woman who’s demonstrated her willingness to be obedient and submissive. Do you think that you could handle that enormous responsibility?”

  Olivia wasn't sure what she’d just heard. Could he be serious? She couldn't get any words out of her throat so she nodded her head up and down.

  “Good. Very good.”

  Carter got up from his chair and slowly walked around his desk. He kept his eyes on Olivia the whole time. His eyes bore a hole through her skull. She’d never experienced such an intense stare.

  He stopped wa
lking suddenly and looked down at his shoes. “Look at that,” he said with his hands on his hips. “My shoelace came undone.”

  The handsome devil stared directly at Olivia. His eyes were full of mischief. She had a feeling that he had something planned, something that would push her even further. “I’m a little clumsy like that sometimes,” Carter said. “But it can be very dangerous don’t you think? Walking around with untied shoelaces?”

  She remained silent. She didn’t know why he was talking about his shoelaces. All he had to do was bend over and tie them.

  “You wouldn’t mind tying them for me would you?”

  A moment of silent tension passed without either of them saying anything. Then Olivia smiled and began laughing. She was sure that he was kidding. There was no way that he was really asking her to tie his shoes. Who did he think he was? Who did he think she was?

  “That doesn’t offend you does it?” Carter asked.

  The smile slowly disappeared from Olivia's face and her laughter died out. It was clear to her that he was serious. He really expected her to tie his shoes.

  “Sir Carter, are you serious?”

  “Do you think I have time to play games and tell jokes?”

  “No, Sir, I was just thinking—”

  “Well, stop thinking and obey. That’s the problem with you newbies. Think you know it all. You’re not willing to start at the bottom. You expect to be treated like you’ve been working here for twenty years right from the start.”

  “I’m sorry, Sir Carter. I’m very sorry. I’ll do whatever you want.”

  “On your knees!” Carter barked.

  Without thinking about what she was doing, she got down on her knees on the carpet.

  She reached out for Carter’s shoes but he pulled his foot back. “Did I tell you to touch me?” he asked.

  Olivia swallowed hard and shook her head no.

  There was a knock at the office door. Fear and apprehension wracked Olivia’s body. There was no way that he would open the door. There was no way that he would allow another employee to see her in this humiliating position. If he did that, how would she be able to go back out there and face her colleagues? She would be the laughing stock of the office. He couldn’t make her go through with this. He couldn’t. It was just too cruel.

  *****

  “Come in,” Carter said.

  Olivia was on all fours on the carpet.

  She could feel two sets of eyes staring down at her. “Janet, you’ve met Olivia haven’t you?” Carter said.

  “Yes, Mr. Carter she’s been very good so far,” Janet, another one of the paralegal’s, said.

  “I’m just teaching her how we do things around here. She got her J.D. at Boston University. I have to make sure that she’s not bringing a lot of ego into the office. Those types of employees never work out. Don’t you agree?”

  “Yes, Mr. Carter. Obedience and loyalty are a big part of working at this firm.”

  “Yes, they are, Janet. Yes, they are. Just put those files on my desk and then you can leave.”

  Olivia couldn’t believe what her boss was putting her through. And she didn’t want to imagine what would be coming next. She figured that things would only get worse.

  “I’m waiting,” Carter said.

  Olivia reached out for the untied shoelace and began trying to tie it. But she couldn’t. Her hands were shaking and she couldn’t steady them. Actually, her whole body was shaking. She took several deep breaths and attempted to calm herself but nothing seemed to be working.

  “I’m running out of patience.”

  Fear shook her body. Her hands were still shaking but she managed to get the shoelace retied. She breathed a huge sigh relief and waited on all fours.

  Carter walked back behind his desk and sat down. Olivia remained in the doggy style position for several minutes.

  “Get off the floor and into the seat.”

  She quickly got off her knees and slid back into the chair. Her whole body felt hot. Sweat dripped down her forehead. She feared that she wouldn’t be able to put up with much more of this type of treatment. She feared that she was coming close to her breaking point.

  Carter stared at her with a look of superiority.

  “Now get out of my sight and finish those briefs. I expect you to stay well after five o’clock today. I hope you don’t have any plans for tonight.”

  “But Sir Carter, I will be finished before five. I promise I will.”

  “Did you hear what I said?”

  “Yes, Sir, but—”

  “Get out of here. Now!”

  Olivia hopped out of the chair and hurried from the office. She gently closed the door and walked with her head down between the office cubicles. She tried not to make eye contact with anyone. But she could feel several pairs of eyes on her. And she could hear the whispers coming from all corners of the office. Everyone was talking about her. She knew it.

  Her face had turned red with embarrassment and shame. Never before had she been through such an ordeal. Nothing in her life had prepared her for this.

  What kind of law firm had she joined? What kind of boss had she chosen?

  She had a strong urge to call her mother. That’s the only person who would be able to comfort her right now. It was her mother who had been able to convince her to stay in law school when Olivia had seriously considered leaving. That was during her first semester. She was overwhelmed by the workload and she couldn’t believe how competitive and cutthroat her classmates were.

  She’d expected to find friends and camaraderie at law school. But instead, all she had encountered were enemies. People were willing to stab each other in the back for the slightest advantage. She wasn’t that sort of person and she knew that she never would be. She’d ended up spending lots of time alone. And she spent many nights that first year talking, crying, and seeking solace and comfort on the phone with her mother.

  Eventually, Olivia adapted to the hyper-competitive atmosphere and during her second year, she even began to form friendships with other like-minded students.

  As five o’clock approached, people in the office began wrapping up their work. Olivia had finished all her briefs but she was afraid to take them into Carter’s office. Maybe he’ll forget about me, she hoped. Maybe he was just threatening me to find out how I’d react, she told herself.

  Despite how hard she tried to convince herself that everything was going to work out for the best, fear and doubt rattled her brain.

  Over the next twenty minutes, the office began slowly emptying out. Olivia kept her head down and eyes focused on the papers in front of her. But out of the corner of her eye, she could see that people were sneaking glances at her and whispering to each other.

  She desperately needed to find out if other employees had been put through similar trials. Did everyone have to suffer through these same tests of loyalty and obedience? What did crawling on the floor and tying shoes have to do with being a valuable employee? None of this made any sense to her. She felt like screaming.

  She would have loved to take a long run in Central Park. That’s exactly what she needed. Intense physical exercise had always helped her get through difficult emotional situations in the past. And she knew that it would help her get through this as well. But she wouldn’t have a chance to run today, if Carter kept her in the office well into the night.

  She half stood up and peeked over the walls of her cubicle. The room was completely empty. A sinking feeling invaded her stomach. She felt nauseous again.

  The door to Carter’s office opened. She was afraid to look up but she could clearly hear him walking towards her. She began trembling. She looked at her hands. They were shaking. She hid them under the desk and pushed them between her legs.

  *****

  “Did you finish what you were supposed to?” Carter asked, standing over her.

  “Yes, Sir Carter. Is there anything else that you need done?”

  “There’s a lot I need done. Too much to
even tell you.”

  She waited anxiously for his next command.

  “But I think that will be all for today,” he said. “I’m feeling much better about you as an employee than I did this morning.”

  Olivia felt relieved when she heard that. But she was still confused. Why had he doubted her in the morning? Did he have these doubts when he hired her? She decided it would be best to keep those questions to herself. She would go about trying to get some answers in the most discrete way possible.

  “Thank you Sir Carter,” she said.

  “Yes, Olivia. You’ll have plenty of time to thank me as long as you’re working here. I’m sure about that.”

  Olivia looked up at her boss. He was staring at her with a devilish grin.

  “Oh, one more thing,” Carter said.

  Olivia held her breath.

  “Have you ever been tied up?” He asked.

  A look of confusion passed over Olivia’s face.

  “Bondage. Ropes. Cords. Handcuffs. Has anyone ever bound you?”

  “No, Sir Carter. No.”

  Carter threw his head back and laughed. “That’s good. That’s very good. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

  The wickedly handsome boss turned his back on Olivia and walked to his office.

  His last words echoed in Olivia’s head. Her body shook as she contemplated what exactly he meant.

  *****

  Olivia gripped the sides of the chair. Her body had completely tensed up. There was no way for her to escape and deep down she didn’t want to.

  Carter held the silver handcuffs in front of his face and smiled. He waved them in the air, taunting Olivia. She swallowed hard and tried to speak but no words came out.

  “I’ve come to a decision,” Carter said, swinging the handcuffs back and forth.

  “A decision, Sir?”

  “Yes, if you can pass this next test, then you will be my chosen submissive. The woman who will carry my firstborn.”