Stupid Girl

by Cindy Miles

  “Okay, no problem,” I answered.

  “I’ll get your ladder set up,” he offered.

  “Hey, that’s all right,” I stopped him. “Steven, I’m used to hard work. I can handle a ladder.”

  He gave me a long look, then nodded. “I like a nerdy girl with a strong back. We’ll work great together, Olivia.”

  I chuckled, found my ladder and situated it beneath Mars. I grabbed my bucket and dug in. I was pretty sure the planets hadn’t been cleaned in a while, and the tacky residue on the metal exterior wasn’t easy to remove. Steven and I talked about class, our observation logs and upcoming night observations, and his weird roommate Curtis who ate orange peels. It passed the time and soon, the planets were finished, as were the recessed lights.

  “I’ll finish up these seats if you want to go ahead and leave,” I told Steven.

  “Sincerely?” he asked. “Thanks! I owe ya one.” He grabbed his supplies and stopped at the door. “When you’re finished you can leave your bucket in the tool closet, just down from the lounge. See ya in class.”

  Over the next hour I cleaned the remaining auditorium seats, my thoughts unavoidably drifting to Brax. I pondered the rumors. And I also reflected on the time we’d already spent together. I felt conflicted. One second fearful and nervous that the rumors were true. That I’d let my heart get tangled up in a mess like Brax Jenkins. The next second I felt butterflies, anticipating our dinner date. Thinking about he’d shown up in the parking lot before work, just to talk to me. It made my head spin, and my insides stung just thinking about it. A little immature sounding, I knew that—but since I was the only one I’d confessed it to, I guess it was ok. He was so … enigmatic. I knew next to nothing about him, yet a pull, an electrical draw existed between us. At least, on my end. Yes, there was his unique physical appearance. Not just his strong, sexy athletic build, cut from stone jaw and clear blue eyes. And not just the scars and ink. Something else drew me to him. Something deeper. It mesmerized me and frightened me all at once. Neither of those reactions would I ever let him see.

  I was on my hands and knees, almost finished scrubbing the last few seats when a voice startled me.

  “So being friends with a geek gets me first class into the planetarium, huh?”

  I jumped, squealed, and hit my head on the metal arm rest.

  “Whoa, Sunshine,” Brax laughed from across the room. “Easily spooked, yeah?”

  I rose to my feet, saw him moving up the center aisle, and my body immediately reacted; my heart started pounding a little harder. Brax no longer wore his uniform; in its place was a pair of faded ripped jeans, a white tee shirt, and boots. No doubt about it now. Brax unhinged me. But I was pretty good at hiding some things. I hid my reaction and grinned. “Gosh, I guess they just let any ole riffraff into the observatory these days.”

  Those muscular thighs and easy bowed swagger moved Brax closer, and he stopped in the aisle beside me. With his arms folded over his chest, he inspected me. “That TA tried to be a dick about it, but I convinced him to let me back here.”

  I eyed him. “You didn’t punch him out, did you?” I really only half-teased.

  A look of amused exasperation settled on Brax’s features, and in the low light of the auditorium, he looked even sexier than he did in full blown light. Which was a pretty incredible feat. “No, Gracie, I didn’t punch him out.” His lips twitched. “This time.”

  I shook my head and dropped to my knees to clean the last seat. “Good. I need this job, Boston.”

  Brax laughed, crouched beside me and ducked his head, bringing us to eye level. His elbows rested against his knees, and I shifted my gaze to the tattoos on his forearms. “I wouldn’t jeopardize your job, Gracie,” he said. “Unless someone pissed me off and did something to you I didn’t like.”

  I raised my eyes to meet his, and through the strange light the color of blue shone sincerity. He meant what he said.

  I dropped my supplies into the bucket and leaned back on my heels. “Why is that?” I asked with a little discomfort. “Exactly.”

  Brax stared first between his feet, then slowly lifted his head. His gaze pierced mine; he didn’t blink, only searched. A muscle flinched in his jaw. “Hell if I know.”

  I wanted to fall right over onto my backside. I felt that weak. The way he stared at me, talked to me—I swear I almost believed it. Almost believed every single word he said, without question. But deep inside, I knew better. It just couldn’t be real.

  How could it be?

  “So what’d you want to show me?” he asked.

  I calmed myself with an inconspicuous breath, rose, and grabbed my supplies. “Follow me.” He did—and right behind me, until we reached the auditorium entrance doors. I paused and looked at him over my shoulder. “Want an inside celestial view first?”

  In the low lights, a curious, dark gaze filled Brax’s eyes. He leaned closer. “I’ll take anything you’re offering, Sunshine.”

  “Good Lord, Brax. Stay here,” I said, setting my supplies down. I hit the lights and crossed the auditorium to the main planetarium switchboard. Steven had shown me how to operate it. “Ready?” I asked into the pitch darkness.

  “Always.”

  “Dork.” I smiled and shook my head, then threw the switch. Within the simulated night sky, each planet, situated in the correct coordinates and hanging from the ceiling, illuminated. Stars blinked.

  “Damn, Gracie,” he said slowly. By his tone I could tell he was genuinely impressed. I’d been, too, when Steven had shown me earlier. The auditorium had turned into a replicated pitch-dark starry sky, complete with illuminated and finely detailed planets. Suddenly and quiet as a stealth soldier, he was beside me. His hand found its way to my lower back, his breath on my neck, and my eyes drifted to his profile. With his head lifted, he stared at the stars and planets overhead. His fingers felt heavy against me, and I fought the urge to lean into him. “Christ, it looks so real. Is that the Milky Way?” he asked.

  Although the illumination from the display threw the room into a yielding blush, it was still shadowy enough to hide my reaction to Brax. I drew a breath. Slowly released it. “Sure is,” I answered. I elbowed him gently. “You’re really a geek buried under all that.” I looked at him and grinned. “Aren’t you?”

  Brax’s gaze left the celestial display and turned to me. His hand stayed on my back, and the sharp scent of earthy guy soap filled my nostrils as I inhaled. His head ducked, and he cocked it sideways. His hair was still wet from a recent shower. Those perfect lips twitched. “Under all what?”

  Talk about poking a caged tiger with a stick. Had I lost my mind? My damn mind? I blinked, and hoped I’d erased the unease from my face. “Under all that cockiness and ink,” I countered. Narrowing my eyes, I nodded toward the door. But Brax’s gaze stayed focused on mine, sharp and soft and ghostly and sexy at the same time. I shoved that thought away. “Now do you want to see something cool or not?”

  One corner of his mouth lifted—a habit of his that was addicting to look at. “Cool, huh, Sunshine?” Still, his hand splayed over my lower back, and I swear, I found myself not wanting him to remove it. Then, he lifted my braid, played with it between his fingers for a moment, then flicked it over my shoulder. “Yeah, show me something cool. Although it’s gotta be damn good to beat what’s right in front of me.”

  I knew Brax was doing exactly what he did with all girls: flirt like a hellion. He’d even told me it was all in fun and part of his character, and for me not to take it personally. It was harder than I thought. A pent-up exhale slowly released from my lungs, through my pursed lips, and I laughed nervously. “It’s way cooler. I promise.” I hit the exhibit display lights, and the room darkened. “Come on, Boston. Follow me.” I started up the aisle toward the door, its EXIT illuminating red hue the only light in the auditorium. Brax walked behind me, guiding me with his strong hand, and each of his fingertips left an impression in my skin, I was sure of it. At the door, he grabbed my suppli
es bucket, reached around me and pushed it open, and I stepped out.

  Noah Hicks stood just beyond in the foyer, as if he was expecting us. He smiled at me, but his gaze turned questioning and cautious toward Brax. “I see you found Olivia with no problem,” he said. “How’d you like the display?”

  Brax’s body closed in toward mine. “Fucking spectacular.” His fingers dug into my back. “Never seen one like it before, man.”

  Noah gave a brief look at me, then nodded. I wondered if he got the gist of Brax’s words that had nothing to do with the display. Or was I kidding myself again? Noah then smiled at me. “You’re going to the platform, I guess? Clear sky with a decent lunar slice to observe. I just unlocked my office, if you want to get your scope.” He moved past us then, and brushed his hand over my shoulder. Brax pushed closer, and I felt his chest against my back. “I’ll start locking up in about an hour,” Noah said.

  “Okay, thank you,” I replied. I glanced back at Brax. “I’ll be right back. Wait here.”

  I left Noah and Brax sizing each other up and hurried down the hallway. What was that all about? The energy pouring off of Brax had taken me off guard, so potent and possessive. How could that be? And Noah? I knew him less than I did Brax, yet I’d noticed a total change in his demeanor, as well. Like two big cats facing off. It couldn’t be that I was bringing a friend to the platform; Noah had already approved that. Was it Brax he didn’t approve of? No doubt the rumors surrounding him didn’t exclude the faculty.

  In Noah’s office I grabbed my scope bag, slung it over my shoulder and hurried back. “Okay, let’s go,” I said to Brax. He and Noah were staring each other down like a couple of gladiators. Brax looking like a street thug, Noah like a, well … a manicured professional. Neither moved or said a word, so I stepped closer, grabbed Brax’s hand, and tugged. “This way, gotta hurry.” Brax’s body shifted toward my pull, and I threw Noah a friendly smile. “Thanks again. We’ll be back down shortly.”

  Noah nodded at me, turned and disappeared down the hall and into his office.

  Brax lifted my scope bag from my arm and shouldered it, and we curved around the hallway and came to the doorway that led to the observatory’s dome and massive platform. My heart raced ninety-to-nothing, and confusion warped my brain. I stopped, dropped Brax’s hand, and turned to him. I kept my voice low. “If I invite you back here you’ll have to leave that Southie badass disposition behind, Brax. Noah is one of my bosses. A TA for the astronomy department. And, he’s nice. So whatever got your hackles up with him, relax. No bullying. Got it?”

  Crystal blue eyes snapped with mischief, and his lip twitched. “You got it, Sunshine. No bullying.” He rubbed his jaw. “This time.”

  Brax ducked his head as if to get a better look into my eyes. A slow smile crept over his mouth. “God, you’ve got the cutest accent. Damn, Gracie. I like this side of you.”

  I opened the door and turned to him. He made me feel comfortable, brave, safe and cagey all at once. It was a disconcerting hairball of emotions to say the very least. “It’s not a side, Brax. It’s just me. This job’s important, okay? Not only to me, but to my family. So don’t get me into trouble.” I forced my eyes to stay on his. “I’m not working here to make extra money to go on a spending spree at the mall, you know. I send what I don’t live on to my family. To help with the expenses of the ranch.” I sighed. “I’ve trusted you so far, and that doesn’t come easy for me. With you or anyone else. So please don’t make me regret it. And just about everyone here has the same accent. Texas.”

  A softness settled across Brax’s face then; like many of his expressions, it changed the contours of his face, shifted harshness into marbled perfection, into something I thought I could stare at for hours on end. Something else flickered in his eyes, though; misconception? Curiosity? To try and read it, or his thoughts, was ridiculous. He was as inscrutable as a guy could be. But when he lifted his hand to my jaw, grasping it with his thumb and forefinger, and forced me to keep my sight on his, I had to swallow past the humongous lump in my throat that had grown in a matter of seconds.

  “You’re different from any girl I’ve ever met. I could tell that the second I looked down at you on the lawn. And you know what?” He pulled even closer. “Regrets are little bastards, Gracie, and we all have them, only,” he drew closer, his voice quieted, “you won’t have them with me. And I can’t help that I don’t trust the guy. Unlike you, I see through his stiff-collared play-by-the-rules prickness. Like it or not, he’s a dick. Just a cleaned up dick with a title. You watch him. I fuckin’ mean it.”

  I stared at him for a second or two. Was Brax crazy? Like mentally unstable? I felt no threat whatsoever with Noah Hicks. He was courteous and professional, nothing more. Wasn’t he?

  I’d thought the same thing about Kelsy Evans at one time, too. Don’t you let your guard down, Olivia. With Noah, Brax, or anyone else for that matter. You’ll just get your teeth kicked in. I gave a nod, agreeing with my inner self, and opened the door. “Will do. Now let’s go. We’re running out of time.”

  Brax said nothing more as he trailed behind me, but his presence filled the narrow stairwell. We could’ve taken the elevators, but I liked how my body felt after a vigorous climb; how my lungs felt exercised, alive. Brax’s breath was smooth, even, barely noticeable. I’d figured he could handle the seven story sprint, as fit as he looked.

  At the top, Brax reached around me once more and pushed open the door, and I led us both out to the platform. The night air wasn’t as still and heavy as it had been lately, which was a sheer Texas blessing and as close to pre-fall weather as we’d get. A soft breeze brushed my cheeks and cooled my skin, and Brax set my bag on the platform by my feet. The three-quarter moon offered a strange filtered radiance—just enough to see my way around the platform without the use of a flashlight. Brax’s head moved with his gaze as he took in the impressive tower. He pointed to a row of mounts, close to the ledge.

  “Basic scope mounts,” I offered. “For the general public’s use.” Kneeling, I unzipped my bag and pulled out first my tripod, assembled the lower aspect, and set it upright. I knew my scope so well I could do it blindfolded. Then Brax was kneeling with me, and he studied as I collected my scope pieces and locked them onto my tripod mount. We were still crouched, and I knew he watched me, and suddenly, I felt shy. Conspicuous. Peculiar and totally out of my element. Like maybe it was a bad idea, sharing this part of my life with a virtual stranger. Especially one like Brax Jenkins. I mean, he was a star athlete. Big shot Winston bad-boy athlete. I was … an astronomy geek. We were about as different as night and day. And I was an idiot for even entertaining thoughts of anything more than friendship. I started to rise, but his hand to my wrist kept me in place.

  “You,” Brax said, and again, ducked his head, “are one badass lady. Smart and beautiful. I like that.”

  I looked at him and even under the cover of shadow, my face grew hot with embarrassment and I knew he could tell it. My eyes drifted down to a spot between my feet, but Brax’s knuckle lifted my gaze right back up. I swallowed hard. His dark brows, so conflicting against the fair color of his skin, lifted, just before he grinned. “No shit, Gracie. Look at you. You just threw that scope together like it was nothin’. You put together your own bookcase. You have a tool box. You drive a fuckin’ Mad Max tank for Christ’s sake.” He rubbed his jaw as he studied me, then grazed the scar on my lip with his thumb. “Your cell phone’s a relic, and you send extra money home to your folks. Like I said before. Different. And different is pretty goddamned appealing to me.”

  I was speechless. Frozen in place. Uncomfortable. Ecstatic. Yet, my mouth opened, and I spoke. “Funny. Those were all qualities that set me apart from other girls in high school. Made me about as much of a novelty as this,” I held my ringed finger up. “I was made fun of. People talked behind my back.” I rose and busied myself with locking the scope onto the mount. Brax stood behind me, and I continued. “I knew it, though, and didn’t c
are, really. I mean, it was me. Who I was.” I gave him a quick glance, and he studied me in silence. “I was comfortable with myself and wasn’t changing for anyone.” I pushed my braid over my shoulder, checked the scope locks, then looked skyward. Finding the moon, I situated the eyepiece, zeroed the target, tilted the scope, and pressed my eye to it. Forced myself to breathe.

  “I’m damn glad of that.” Brax’s raspy voice spoke with certainty; maybe a little admiration. Or surprise. And very close. You’re being stupid again …

  “Well,” I shook off my self-chastising and continued setting the scope. “I’m … relieved you appreciate my individuality.” I lifted my head and looked at him, and gave him a half smile. “Or maybe you just have weird taste in friends.” I stepped out of the way and inclined my head toward the scope.

  Brax’s shoulder brushed mine as he moved to take my place, but he didn’t comment. He lowered his head to the eyepiece and I studied his profile. In the shadows, his features were fierce, set, cut in stone like a gargoyle, maybe, and I was again disarmed by how brutal yet completely stunning he was. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he said in a low voice. Pulling his eye from the view finder, he grinned, then returned his gaze to the telescope positioned toward the moon’s surface. “Christ, I’ve never seen anything like it, Gracie.” Moments went by, and I waited in the dark as he scoured the stars. I felt thrilled Brax was intrigued. For some crazy reason, I’d hoped he would be.

  “I guess we’d better pack it up,” I finally said. “I don’t want to abuse my privileges on the first day.”