Stupid Girl

by Cindy Miles

  “You’re ridiculous. Put this on. Your legs are fine.”

  “I’m wearing my boots.”

  Tessa grinned, and it made me feel she was up to no good. “That’s the idea, my darlin’. Now get ready. I still have your face and hair to work on.”

  “Good Lord. Please don’t slut me up.”

  “I’m not going to slut you up, weirdo. Just let me have my way. For once?”

  It didn’t take long to trade out my jeans and button-down shirt for Tessa’s outfit. I looked in the mirror. The upper half wasn’t too bad. But the skirt. “Tessa, this thing is short!”

  “Come out and let me see!” she hollered.

  I inched out of the bathroom, and she squealed. “Shit, you’re hot! Turn around.”

  I did. “I am not hot. It’s…unnatural looking on me. I look like a hootch. And I’m not trolling for guys, Tessa.” I turned back around and gave her the look. “I’m just going to hang out with you girls for a little while.”

  Tessa rolled her eyes. “I know that. No reason you can’t make the boys drool while you’re just hanging out.” She grinned. “Right? Now come here. I’m not finished. And you do not look like a hootch.”

  She pushed me onto the bed, and I gave her a meaningful glare. “Do not make me look like a clown. I mean it.”

  Tessa bonked me on the top of my head with her blush brush. “You are so weird it’s not funny. Now be still.”

  After a torturous hour of hair pulling, facial tugging, and an occasional punch in the arm, Tessa had me exactly like she wanted me. To my surprise, I did not look like a clown. Or a hootch. More make-up than I’d normally ever wear, but it was ok for a change. One night out. That was it.

  “Your eye shadow looks smoky fab,” Marcie said as we all walked up the ramp to MacElvee’s. “You should wear it more often.”

  “She is a non-believer in make-up and all things uber-girlie,” Tessa said. Then grinned at me. “But it does look stunning on you.”

  I just shook my head as we pushed into the bar. Friday night, the place was packed. Wall to wall with Winston students, as well as what Tessa had deemed local infiltrates. I was sandwiched between Tessa and Kelly as we shuffled to the back. Wooden rafters stretched overhead, and the dark walls were decorated in an old western theme, with horse blankets, old saddles, and spurs. Tessa grabbed my hand as she spied an empty table and pulled me through the crowd. Already I felt out of my element, the music was thunderous, the patrons loud, and a drone of conversation and laughter made normal speech pointless. I rose on the toes of my boots to settle into the bar chair, and at the same time my hand kept the hem of my gauzy skirt from riding up too high.

  Tessa laughed. “God, you should see your face! Pure terror!” She shook her head. “You’re drinking a beer, chica! You gotta loosen you up! Excuse me? Hello?” Tessa flagged down a young guy with a black apron on. Mid-twenties, cute. He gave Tessa a wide grin. “Yes, ma’am?”

  “A pitcher, garcon. Pretty please.” Tessa’s smile flashed white.

  His eyes drifted to me. “You girls got your ID?”

  “Of course,” Tessa said. She fished hers out of her big Zebra bag, and the rest of us followed suit. After the waiter glanced at each one, he nodded. “I’m Ash, one pitcher coming up.” I watched him make his way to the bar, disappearing through a sea of people. I met Tessa’s gaze as I stuffed my ID back into my bag. She wiggled her brows.

  “God he’s scrumptious,” Kelly said, and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Liv, he was checking you out big time.”

  “He sure was,” Tessa agreed. “Marcie? Did you see it?”

  “I did.” Marcie threw me a grin. “I think I feel a pang of jealousy.”

  I laughed back. “No, he was not,” I insisted. “You guys are imagining things.” He was cute; tall, broad shoulders, shaggy brown hair that fell to his shoulders. Brown eyes. But he just wasn’t Brax. And I just wasn’t ready for this. Dammit!

  “Hey, Tess, there’s that giant you’re so in love with,” Marcie said.

  Without thinking about it, I turned my head. And my eyes clashed with Brax’s. I jerked my gaze back, started fumbling with a napkin.

  “Shit a brick,” Tessa grumbled under her breath. “We’ve been in here a gazillion times and this is the first time I’ve seen him in here. Liv,” she said. “I’m sorry. Ignore him. But I can’t. Be right back.”

  “No—Tess! What are you doing?.” But Tessa was already gone. Godalmighty, what was she up to? I drew a slow breath in and tried to calm my jittery nerves just as Ash returned with our pitcher and four glasses. I looked at him, and he was already looking at me. Smiling. He set the pitcher and glasses in the middle of the small table.

  “Enjoy,” he said, but was only looking at me when he said it.

  I gave him a hesitant grin. “Thanks.” Just then, Tessa returned.

  He didn’t walk off. Instead, he turned directly to me. “Ash.”

  “Thanks, Ash.” I had no idea why he was so puzzled by me.

  “I haven’t seen you in here before,” he said. Those brown eyes were liquid pools and deep, and no doubt most girls fell right into them. I might have, had I not still been reeling from a crushed heart, and the crusher was less than twenty feet away.

  I gave an embarrassed smile. “No, you haven’t.”

  He cocked his head, as if studying me. “You work at the observatory.” His gaze moved from my hair to my legs unavoidably poking out from Tessa’s skirt. “I guess I didn’t recognize you at first. You know, out of uniform.”

  “Ash, order’s up!” Another waiter hollered across the bar, and he turned.

  “Yep!” he called back. Then threw me another grin. “See ya later.”

  As he sauntered off, Tessa, Marcie and Kelly all squealed at once. Tessa squeezed my knee under the table, and I jumped.

  “Oh my God girl, he’s so into you!” Tessa said excitedly. “He said ‘See. You. Later.’ You know he’s a Sigma Chi, right? A senior, too. Uncanny how I found that out so fast, don’t you think?”

  “Cut it out,” I said in a harsh whisper. “What did you do, Tess?”

  Tessa poured beer into a glass and pushed it into my hand. “I only warned Jenkins to stay away from us or I’d call the cops. Now bottom’s up, chica,” she said. “Relax. Hot Sigma Chi Ash the senior is after you.” She clinked her glass to mine. “Smooth sailing from here, my darling.”

  “You said you’d call the cops? And us, with our fake IDs?”

  “Shh! Are you loco?” Tessa said, followed by a string of Spanish none of us understood. “Now lick your glass, Liv. Ash is watching you. God, he makes my ovaries quiver.”

  Kelly and Marcie looked at me then burst out laughing. I shook my head at their giddiness and Tessa’s vulgar humor. Seriously, Ash probably pushed that line on all the girls. Besides—I wasn’t going to hook up with the bartender. I forced myself not to think about Brax being directly behind me, and it wasn’t an easy feat. I didn’t really like the taste of beer, but I raised the glass to my lips and let the cold brew slide down my throat. I didn’t have to look over my shoulder to know Brax watched me. I could feel that profound stare burning into me like a red-hot branding iron and it was so intense that I had to fight to ignore it. But after a few minutes, whether it was the brew or the atmosphere and giggling friends or all of the above, I relaxed a little. We laughed. People watched. Finally, Kelly called it quits.

  “Okay, knuckleheads,” she said. “I have to get up early in the morning. And since I’m the DD, I say it’s time to scram. It’s past midnight.”

  “God you’re such an old lady,” Tessa accused. “But I still love you.”

  We gathered our bags and I eased off the stool, still careful that my skirt didn’t fly up. The crowd had thinned out quite a bit, and I couldn’t help but peek over my shoulder. Brax and Cory had already left. I felt relieved. I felt disappointed Brax hadn’t approached me. Stupid girl …

  We’d just stepped out the door and were heading do
wn the ramp when a voice from behind stopped me. “Hey—I didn’t get your name.”

  “Olivia Beaumont,” Tessa offered, and gave me a little shove in his direction. God, I was going to pound her in the noggin later for that.

  Beneath the outdoor lamp Ash’s smile was wide, warm—and predatory, if I had to label it. Maybe the shadows playing across his face gave me that impression. I didn’t know for sure. He held out his hand. “Well, Olivia Beaumont, it’s nice to meet you.”

  I reached for his hand, and he enveloped it with his. “Nice to meet you, Ash—”

  Suddenly a body shoved between Ash and I, and I was staring at the back of Brax’s head as he faced Ash. I heard Tessa swear, then Brax turned his body around and faced me. Those eyes that would never stop shocking me stared down, and even in the shadowy light I could see the fury in them. “I gotta talk to you, Gracie.” His voice was raspy and low and edgy, and he’d had more than his share to drink. He placed his hands on my hips and started to turn me around. “Now.”

  “Dude, what’s your problem?” Ash said.

  Brax ignored him. “Let’s go.”

  “Wait a minute,” I said, confused. “Brax, what are you doing? I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  “She doesn’t want to talk to you, bro,” Ash said, and grabbed Brax’s shoulder, spun him around.

  Brax launched a punch, his fist to Ash’s jaw. So fast I almost didn’t see it. “Back the fuck off,” Brax warned. He turned to me, his eyes angry and pleading at the same time. “Gracie, now.”

  “Brax, you’re drunk. Leave her alone,” Tessa said, and grabbed my arm. “Come on, Liv.”

  “You heard the girls,” Ash said, facing Brax. He rubbed the spot Brax had walloped. “Leave her alone, man.”

  I didn’t have time to even pull in a breath before Brax had slammed his fist into Ash’s face. His head snapped back with the force of Brax’s hit, and he stumbled, but then Ash, who was the same size as Brax, threw back and the two went at it. Brax lit into Ash full force until they both hit the concrete.

  “Stop it! Brax!” I yelled. But he wouldn’t stop. He kept hitting, and hitting hard. Punch to the ribs, to the head. Ash fought back, landing punches to Brax’s face, but Brax’s fury gave him an edge.

  Finally, Cory’s big body stepped in and dragged Brax off of Ash. Tessa pulled on me. “Come on, girl. Let’s go while Cory has him.”

  “Get the fuck off me, man!” Brax yelled at Cory. “Gracie, wait!”

  Tessa pushed me into Kelly’s car and as we drove away, I stared out the window. Brax, still held by Cory, caught my gaze. God, he was mad, so angry. He swore, shoved Cory off of him, and before I saw anything more I turned and faced forward.

  “Jesus God!” Tessa said. “What a beast! Are you okay?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.” But I wasn’t. Not at all.

  “It’s a good thing you guys didn’t work out,” Marcie said, peering at me from the front passenger seat. “He’s crazy, Liv. A complete psycho. Did you see how he beat the hell out of that guy? He didn’t even know him! You don’t need that kind of crazy.”

  While Tessa, Kelly and Marcie regaled the whole drama, I rested my head back and noticed how the moonlight bathed everything in silver as we passed. I sucked in a long breath, closed my eyes, and also noticed how, even though it probably shouldn’t, my heart ached for Brax. The sight of him, the sound of his familiar raspy voice, his presence close to me. The angst in his voice. I still loved him. And for some unexplained reason, I thought he loved me, too. Past the hurt and anger and alcohol making his ethereal eyes fiery, I saw it.

  So why had he done this? Why had he shut me out? Only to step in between me and Ash? A guy I didn’t even know? A guy Brax didn’t know? It made no sense. Ash could press charges and Brax would be in so much trouble with the school. God, what was he thinking?

  After Kelly dropped us off at our dorm, Tessa and I got ready for bed. In the dark, Tessa said, “You know he’s absolutely zero good for you. Right?”

  The Brax I knew—or rather thought I knew—was good for me. I’d felt it clear to my bones. How could it have been fake? “I’m so confused, Tess. I just don’t get it. Or him.”

  “I don’t know what’s going on with that boy, but two things I know for sure. One, he’s still crazy about you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have bothered to jump poor Ash. Who, by the way, is fine as holy fuck. No kidding. And two, he’s loco. And chica, it don’t matter how much a guy loves you. If he’s crazy, it’ll only lead to more heartache. Or worse.”

  I let out a long sigh. “I know. Thanks, Tessa. ’Night.”

  “Goodnight, darling. Dream of Ash. Totally into you.”

  Instead I thought of eyes so light they seemed silver, of scars and soul-searing tattoos and a crappy childhood and a perfect smile. Then, I cried myself to sleep.

  “You’re going to that brainless Halloween Blitz? Tonight? Woman, if I’d known that’s why you wanted to cut out of here two hours early I’d have said no way. Then I would’ve driven you straight to the loony bin. You’ve gone kookoo. For Cocoa Puffs.”

  I gave a light laugh. “You’re probably right.” Steven and I had just finished leading a group through the new Draconids exhibit. I sighed. “To be completely honest I was sort of pushed into it.”

  “By your aggressive but extremely hot roommate?” Steven grinned. “Don’t tell her I said that. Wait, yeah, tell her. No, never mind. Don’t.”

  I chuckled. “I won’t. But yes. She has a way with words.”

  “Why are you kookoo? Exactly?”

  We both turned, and Noah joined us. He looked at me. “What have you done, Olivia?”

  “She’s going to that obnoxious Halloween Blitz put on by the Sigma Chis and Kappas,” Steven said. “The one they do together every year.”

  I sighed. “Guilty.”

  Noah’s gaze held mine, and I could see disappointment there. I knew he’d disapproved of Brax but just never said anything. Not that it was his place to. “You just be careful, Olivia. Those parties can get pretty rowdy.”

  “No worries there,” I assured. “I’m the least rowdy person you’ll ever meet.”

  “That’s why you had that black eye, right?” Steven said with a grin. “’Cause you’re so un-rowdy?”

  I glared. “I was thrown from a horse, goof.”

  He shrugged. “See? Who does that? Rowdy people.”

  Noah laughed, but it was soft and half-hearted. “Seriously, Olivia.” He closed in on me then, sort of blocking Steven, and the look in his eyes was filled with sincerity and a little worry. “There’s usually a lot of drinking. A lot of pranks. Like,” he looked up, thinking. “Stephen King, Carrie pranks. Pig blood dumped on poor prom queen pranks. So please.” His large hand squeezed my shoulder. “Watch yourself.”

  I gave Noah a smile. “Thanks, boss. I will.”

  We finished our work after that, and I ignored Steven’s disapproving head-shake as I left the observatory. Although it was still somewhat daylight outside, I knew a single headlamp wouldn’t be following me back to the dorm. Still, I checked my rear-view mirror, and for what reason other than habit, or possibly hope, I didn’t know. The second I stepped into mine and Tessa’s room, though, she squealed, leapt off the bed and grabbed my hand.

  “You know what’s so phenomenally epic about Halloween parties?” she asked.

  “Not really.”

  Tessa popped me in the head. “Disguise, chica.” The smile on her face was pure devilment. “No one knows who you are if you do it right.” She patted my hair. “Which is why we’re going to do you famously right. As long as you’re still wanting to do this?”

  I inhaled, exhaled. “Yeah, I’m sure.” I looked at her. “I have to know, Tessa. He plagues me.” I stared at spot of carpet between my feet. “Day. Night. He’s in my brain.” I looked up. “Boring a hole in my noodle, and I’m sick of it disrupting my life. I want to ask him why. Why … he did what he did.”

  “And you th
ink that will settle you? And that he’ll tell you?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe by catching him off guard, he will.”

  Tessa inclined her head to the bed. “Well have a seat and let’s get started.” A mysterious glint sparked in her eyes. “I’ve just the costume for you, darling, so let’s get our asses moving. We’re meeting Marcie and Kelly at eight and I’ve got a small miracle to perform here.”

  “Wow, how comforting.”

  Tessa smacked me once more. “Shut your cake hole and be still.”

  Two hours later, I stood in front of the mirror, shocked. Lifting my hand, I grazed my cheeks with my fingertips. “This is not really me.”

  Tessa laughed. “Yes it is, and stop touching yourself.” She snorted. “Eww, weird. Anyway, I told you I was a miracle-maker. Just getting all that crazy ass hair you have semi-tamed and up in that stack was a miracle in itself. Now slip these wings on and you’re all set.”

  What stared back at me from the bathroom mirror was more than a miracle. It was a piece of living, breathing fantasy art. As I held my bare arms out, Tessa slid a pair of gauzy, white feathery angel wings over my arms and hooked them together between my shoulder blades. They were short and appeared to stick straight out of my spine. Paired with the slinky silvery blue mini dress and silver strappy heels, I looked as though I’d fallen out of some alternate heaven. Tessa had applied glittery silver shadow to my eyes that swept out at the corners to swirl over my cheekbones, long false lashes, and silvery blue lipstick. I definitely did not look like me.

  “Are you sure about this?” I asked. I looked at my roommate, with her painted Day of the Dead face and short black mini dress. “Brax might not even be there.”

  “Perfectly sure,” Tessa assured. “And if he’s not, Ash will be and we’ll have a great time. Now let’s go.”

  Butterflies rammed my insides as we loaded into Marcie’s Range Rover and headed over to the Sigma Chi house. This was so totally out of character for me; not only with the costume, but the approach. I hated that Brax’s abrupt and painful split from me hurt so bad—bad enough that I had a difficult time concentrating on my studies. I wanted—no, needed—to know why. He owed me that much. And for once, I wasn’t going to stand for anything less. Could I have tried to obtain this information without the whole blitz gig? Probably. But despite Brax’s harsh exterior and brass accent, he was far more intelligent than most granted him. And my simply approaching him would never have worked. He would have made excuses. This way, he’d probably have a little alcohol in him, and he wouldn’t know it was me until it was too late. At least, that was my rationale. I hoped to God it worked because I couldn’t take much more of this. The not-knowing. The endless what-if that beleaguered me at every turn, awake or asleep. It was driving me nuts.