Cowboys Down

by Barbara Elsborg

  “He had that sandwich Angie made,” Calum said.

  “How do you know?” his father snapped.

  Calum thought quickly. “Because it’s gone from the fridge. I assume he ate it.”

  “Oh Christ. Get after him.”

  Calum didn’t rush. Jasper had to be embarrassed. He’d give him a chance to compose himself. He’d watched the English guy as one by one the guests went through their paces, proving they knew how to mount and hold the reins correctly, to cue the horse to walk, stop, turn and canter and most important—they didn’t yank at the animal’s mouth. With every passing minute, Jasper’s face had steadily paled, taut lines bracketing his lips.

  But Calum didn’t think the dude was sick. More like scared.

  When Calum knocked on the door of Jasper’s room, it swung open. A suitcase sat on the bed, a few clothes lay inside together with an apple. Packing or not unpacked yet? Packing, Calum guessed. There was no sign of Jasper. Bathroom, maybe? Calum stayed where he was and banged harder on the door.

  It took a couple of moments before Jasper appeared, dark shadows evident under those beautiful eyes, and it was all Calum could do not to pull him into his arms.

  “Okay?” Calum leaned on the doorframe. “Deserting us already?” He nodded toward the bed.

  “I started to pack and then realized I was being an idiot. Nothing new there.” He backed up to the bed and sat next to his case, elbows on his knees, head in his hands.

  “Calum, is he okay?”

  Angie came running up the corridor, her long blonde hair tumbling down her back. She pushed past him and burst into the room before he could stop her.

  “I just made you what I like,” she blurted. “Not my favorite, but still good.”

  Jasper straightened and sent Calum a confused look.

  “Angie made the sandwich,” Calum said. “We’re worried it made you throw up.”

  Jasper rose to his feet. “That sandwich was delicious. One of the best, if not the best I ever had. That’s not why I was sick.”

  Angie’s chin wobbled. “But Pete said it made you sick.”

  Damn Pete. Why did he have to do that?

  “Can you keep a secret?” Jasper asked.

  Angie nodded hard. She pulled him to the far side of the room and glared at Calum. He rolled his eyes and put his hands over his ears as Jasper bent to whisper to Angie. Calum didn’t hear what he said.

  “There’s no need to be scared of horses,” she said in a loud voice.

  Jasper’s face flushed with a tinge of red and Calum groaned.

  “I’ll let you ride Misty,” Angie said. “She’s good as gold. She’s never thrown me. Well, only once and that was my fault.”

  Calum opened his mouth, but Jasper shook his head and smiled at Angie. Oh God, this guy is going to break my fucking heart.

  “That’s really kind of you, Angie. I think I might lie by the pool instead today. I’d love another sandwich for lunch.” He sat back on the bed.

  “Go tell Mom you make the best sandwiches,” Calum said. Angie raced off and Calum flashed Jasper a look of apology. “She likes the idea of a secret, but she can’t keep one. She’s…” Oh God, he didn’t want to say.

  “Sweet,” Jasper said. “And special.”

  Calum’s jaw twitched. “Yeah, she is.” He realized he’d taken a step nearer Jasper and backed up. “Why did you choose this kind of vacation if you don’t like horses?”

  “I do like horses. It’s not horses I have a problem with, it’s getting on their backs that’s the issue.” His fingers fidgeted on the bed. “I used to ride a lot, but I…haven’t for some time.”

  Why did you stop? “Sure you want to lie by the pool? Can I convince you to try again? Everyone’s gone now. We can take it as slow and easy as you like.” Oh God, slow and easy sounded good, but listening to his dick, Calum suspected fast and hard would be more likely.

  “You’ll take me out?” Jasper asked.

  Calum nodded. He hadn’t missed the interest in Jasper’s voice and his cock nodded an I-told-you-so.

  “My stomach’s empty now. You should be safe.” Jasper gave a wry grin.

  “Wait here. I’ll be back in a sec.” Calum turned at the door. “Unpack. You don’t look like a quitter to me.”

  On his way to his room, Calum bumped into his father who grabbed his arm to bring him to a halt. “Angie says the pansy’s scared.”

  Oh shit. If his father didn’t keep his mouth shut, everyone on the ranch would find out and Jasper would be a laughing stock.

  “What the fuck’s he doing here?” his father asked.

  “He’s not scared of horses.”

  “Well he did a damned good impression of it. At least we know it wasn’t the food. I don’t want someone else threatening to sue us.”

  “That didn’t come to anything.”

  They’d had a guest who’d almost taken them to court a few months ago. Some crap about bedbugs. Pest control had found no evidence of any problem, but word spread based on internet comments. Calum had jumped on every post he saw and eventually squashed the rumor, though there was no way of knowing if they’d have had that level of cancellations without the issue. It damn well annoyed him his father had refunded the bedbug guy’s money. The lying bastard had probably made up the whole thing.

  His father glared at him. “We had four cancel that should have been here this week.”

  “Coincidence,” Calum said, though he wasn’t sure it was.

  He knew his father was worried. Even when they weren’t running at capacity, the wranglers and other help still had to be paid and horses had to be fed. They weren’t the only dude ranch in Wyoming. They couldn’t afford to make mistakes.

  “Go and help Pete replace that boarding on the barn,” his father said.

  “I’m going to take the English guy out. He wants to ride.”

  His father scowled. “Think that’s a good idea?”

  Calum stiffened. “Don’t you trust me?”

  They stared at each other and Calum thought if the wrong thing was said, he’d walk off this ranch and never speak to his father again. But then he’d thought that a lot of times and he’d never left. Calum backed down from confrontation just like he always did.

  “Sorry,” he muttered.

  His father nodded. “I’ll tell Gunner to saddle Zander.”

  Calum carried on to his room, his heart hammering. Just him and Jasper? At least he’d know by the end of the ride if the guy was only going to figure in his dreams. But if Zander wasn’t in the right mood, they’d be lucky to make it to the bottom of the first pasture by lunchtime. He snatched up boots and gloves, turned to leave and then went back to grab a couple of foil packets from his bottom drawer. Fuck what his father thought. Calum was listening to his dick. It was more fun.

  When he got back to Jasper’s room, the suitcase had gone.

  “These should fit.” Calum handed him the boots. “We look about the same size.”

  “I don’t want spurs. I don’t need them.”

  Calum sucked in his cheeks. “The horses are used to them.”

  “But I’m not. I don’t want to risk injuring a horse if I…”

  If you panic. Shit. “Here, I’ll take them off.”

  Calum removed the metal and passed the boots back.

  Jasper slipped them on and stood to press his heels down into the boots. “Thank you.”

  “You should wear these too.” Calum handed him the gloves. “You don’t want to end up with hands like mine.”

  “Nothing wrong with yours,” Jasper murmured.

  Calum’s breath caught. “Come on, then. Let’s see if Zander likes you. Leave the helmet, you won’t be going above walking pace.”

  Jasper was silent all the way to the corral. Calum couldn’t help but notice he trudged the worn path like he was walking to his execution. The sunglasses were back in place. Hard to tell what he was thinking. Calum wondered what had happened. Had to be some sort of accident.
Hence the helmet. Shit, I should have let him wear it.

  The docile brown horse they used for beginners was tethered to the rail of the corral. No one else was around.

  “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Calum said.

  Jasper remained tight-lipped.

  “You could try again later.”

  Calum could almost see the battle going on in Jasper’s head. He wanted and didn’t want at the same time.

  “Why don’t you just say howdy to him?” Calum climbed over into the enclosure.

  He was a little surprised when Jasper followed.

  “Good boy, Zander.” Calum patted the horse at the base of its neck.

  Jasper tipped his sunglasses onto his head and held out his hand, palm flat and let the horse sniff. “You look older than me,” he said and laughed quietly, though the smile didn’t make it all the way to his eyes.

  “He’s been around for as long as I can remember.”

  As Jasper stroked the horse’s shoulder, Calum moved away. The petting turned into a firm scratch and Zander dropped his head so Jasper would keep doing it. Calum’s gaze was glued to Jasper’s hand and his mind returned to an earlier train of thought. What would it feel like being stroked by Jasper? Soft fingers sliding into his pants, wrapping— Oh fuck. There was a distinct lack of room in his jeans and Calum swallowed his groan. I’m jealous of a horse?

  “Those long brown eyelashes don’t have me fooled.” Jasper ran his hand along Zander’s flank. “We both know if I do something you don’t like, I’m going to be eating dirt.”

  Zander bobbed his head.

  Jasper turned to Calum, and sighed. “Did he just agree?”

  Calum chuckled. The chances of Zander mustering enough energy to throw anyone off were zero. He’d pretty much put up with anything except overuse of spurs. He was a good boy, unlike Calum. “Keep stroking him. Let him get used to the sound of your voice and your scent.” He moved up behind Jasper, his heart jumping.

  “Good lad,” Jasper whispered and scratched between the horse’s ears.

  Zander swung his head round hard and knocked Jasper into Calum. Calum couldn’t help himself. As he caught hold of Jasper, he breathed in. Soap, coconut shampoo, musk. Fuck it. Calum jerked away.

  “Sorry,” Jasper said.

  “Oh yeah, and don’t mess with his ears.”

  Funny how he hadn’t thought to mention that. Jasper turned and gave Calum a look that said he knew exactly why he hadn’t mentioned it. Calum’s cock continued to grow. He couldn’t tear his gaze from Jasper as he petted Zander. Want him, want him, want him. Except someone like Jasper could probably have any guy at all. And it won’t be a guy like me.

  “So, Zander, are you going to play nice?” Jasper whispered as he stroked the horse’s neck. “Not going to bolt for a fence the moment I sit on your back and try to launch me into the next paddock?”

  The horse whickered.

  “Sorry my hands are clammy, only I’m kind of nervous.”

  “Someone you know have an accident?” The question escaped before Calum could stop it.

  “My brother.”

  Jasper continued to scratch Zander, his face turned away from Calum. He didn’t say anything else, but Calum couldn’t leave it there.

  “Bad?” he asked.

  Jasper turned to look at him. “Ben died.”

  Why didn’t I leave it? Me and my big fucking mouth. “Oh Christ. I’m sorry.” Shut the fuck up. “How long ago?” Quiet! Now!

  “Five years.”

  Calum took a deep breath. “I figure you’re allowed to be nervous. You want me to go grab that helmet?”

  “No. I’m guessing I’ve got the horse you use for beginners. He’s not going to buck or kick or move faster than a snail, are you, sunshine? It’s just that the other half of my brain is telling me he’s been waiting for an idiot like me so he can show his hidden demon side.”

  Jasper took a roll of mints from his pocket and Zander almost knocked them out of his hand in his desperation to snaffle one. The white mint on Jasper’s palm disappeared and Zander whinnied.

  “You’re welcome,” Jasper said.

  Calum laughed. “You just made a friend for life.”

  Jasper stared straight at Calum and offered him the roll. The grin on Jasper’s face didn’t last long, but it was deadly. Calum took a mint and smiled. Jasper popped one in his own mouth. After he put the mints back, Zander tried to get his head in Jasper’s pocket.

  “No more until you’ve let me get on your back,” Jasper said. “I’ve done enough sweet-talking. You’ll be wanting flowers and chocolates next.”

  Zander’s ears twitched, but Jasper stepped away from the horse not toward him. The set of his jaw told Calum that for all his chatter, Jasper was on the point of walking away.

  “Zander won’t throw you,” Calum said.

  “Right.” Jasper took a deep breath.

  “What happened to your brother?”

  “He came off his horse and…hit a car. Ended up paralyzed from the neck down. Ben was only fifteen years old. He spent the next nine years unable to even breathe on his own before he died.” Jasper’s voice had dropped to a whisper. “I don’t want that to happen to me.”

  “Oh fuck.”

  “Oh fuck sums it up.”

  Calum struggled for something to say. “How about I promise to shoot you if it does?” Oh crap, not that you idiot.

  But Jasper released a strangled laugh and then looked straight at him with those big chocolate eyes. “Would you? If I asked?”

  Calum’s answer came straight from his heart. “Doesn’t seem right to let humans suffer when we’re prepared to put animals out of their misery.”

  “Not as simple as that though, is it?”

  And that told Calum a lot. “Did your brother ask you to kill him?”

  “All the time.” Jasper untied the reins and slipped on the gloves. He put his left foot in the stirrup, grabbed the pommel, swung up onto the horse and then pulled down his sunglasses.

  Drop the subject now. Calum sighed. “You made that look pretty easy.”

  “I’ve got my eyes closed. Am I sitting the right way round?”

  Calum laughed. “You’re fine.”

  “I’m fucking scared shitless.”

  “Need me to fix your stirrups?”

  “I can do it.” Jasper reached down and then gave Calum a puzzled look. “Where’s the strap?”

  Calum smiled. “Maybe you’d better let me get that. Kick your foot out of the stirrup.”

  Jasper moved his leg forward and Calum lifted the fender and adjusted the stirrup leathers in the buckle. Jasper murmured quietly to Zander as Calum fixed the other side.

  “Walk him round a spell when you’re ready.”

  Jasper made a clicking sound, squeezed with his legs, kicked once with his heels and Zander moved out into the corral. Calum saw a confidence in Jasper that hadn’t been there a moment ago, though he was holding a rein in each hand.

  “Western horses neck rein,” Calum said. “I suspect you’re used to horses responding more to direct pressure on their mouths than reins on the side of the neck.”

  “I use a combination of the two.”

  “Try holding the reins in one hand, palm up with one rein between the thumb and forefinger and one between the forefinger and middle finger.” Calum watched as Jasper changed his hold. “That’s it.”

  When he saw Jasper got it, Calum relaxed and leaned on the rail. He tried to imagine being unable to do anything for himself, if he couldn’t scratch an itch, fuck or jack off, and what he’d do if someone begged him to flip a switch and end a life. Hell, whichever way he looked at it. Had Jasper cracked in the end and done what his brother had asked? Killed him?

  “I’ll get Blue. You okay in here on your own?” Calum asked.

  “Fine.”

  I’m doing it. Jasper’s pulse raced, excitement overwhelming his fear. After making such a fool of himself earlier, there wa
s no way he’d have given up and retired to the pool when Calum stood watching him. If the animal had been foaming at the mouth and pawing the air with his hooves, Jasper would have still tried to ride. To think he’d spent all this time worrying about getting on a horse, when all he needed for that extra push was a good-looking guy’s gaze fixed on him.

  Jasper patted Zander on the neck. “Good boy. Are we going to have some fun? That doesn’t include you throwing me and then standing there whickering. You treat me well and I’ll return the favor. Okay?”

  The horse whinnied and Jasper laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  Calum returned on a lively looking black quarter horse, followed by Bessie, and leaned down to open the corral gate to let Jasper out.

  “Is she rounding us up?” Jasper asked, nodding at the dog.

  “She’ll follow to the bottom of the first pasture. She’s too old now to run along with me.” Calum reined Blue back so the two horses walked side by side, but from his snorting and blowing, Blue was clearly anxious to race off. “You okay?”

  “Yes. I think I’d built this up in my mind to be something akin to taking a parachute jump. The fear of it worse than doing it—once I’d been pushed out of the plane, that is. Though now I’ve seen you’ve brought a rifle, I’m wondering if there’s something else for me to worry about.”

  “Nope, it’s just in case we meet a bear. When we’ve had one reported in the area, we don’t take chances.”

  Jasper smiled. “Nothing to worry about at all then.”

  “Not for me. Blue’s way faster than Zander.”

  Calum grinned and Jasper wished he’d worn looser pants.

  They travelled for quite awhile in comfortable silence before Calum spoke.

  “What do you do for a living?”

  “Stockbroker.”

  Calum chuckled. “Me too. Part of my job’s breaking stock. Any good at it?”

  “You don’t survive in the business for long if you’re not. Same for you I’d imagine. Have you always worked on the ranch?”

  “I went away to college, though not far. Wyoming’s in my blood, I guess.”

  Jasper looked around. Powder-blue skies stretched as far as he could see, punctuated by craggy peaks, some of them capped with snow. “You’re very fortunate to have this on your doorstep. A sky blue enough to swim in, snow-capped mountain peaks, rolling plains. It’s hard to think of anything more beautiful.” Don’t think about Calum naked.