Wanting Shaw (Rockers' Legacy Book 5)

by Terri Anne Browning

  “No.” I flexed my fingers, grimacing when I felt blood dripping from my knuckles. “I’ll take whatever she throws at me. I’m not a pussy like that piece of shit in there. I won’t run away and hide when I know I did something wrong. Call Ma. I’ll stay right here and let her see exactly what I did.”

  “Whatever he did, you shouldn’t have gone all vigilante—” he started to scold.

  “He hurt Violet,” I cut him off.

  His shoulders tensed, and his dark eyes narrowed. “Hurt her…how?”

  “Her mouth was torn all to hell,” I told him. The memory of that picture on Ma’s phone had my rage spiking higher again. “Just let me finish him off so he can’t do that to anyone else. It was just her mouth this time. Next time, it could be even worse. I won’t give him the chance to hurt anyone else.”

  For all of two seconds, I saw the indecision in Barrick’s eyes before his shoulders tensed again and he shook his head. “I can’t let you do that, Jags. Not because I don’t want to let you, because I really fucking want to let you kill that little fucker right now, but because Mia wouldn’t want his blood on your hands.”

  “Leave, and you won’t have to know what I do to him.”

  He thrust his hands into his thick hair, pulling it from the man bun it was tied into. “As tempting as that thought is, I can’t. You’re my brother now. And I have to make sure you don’t do shit that might ruin your life.” Pulling his phone from his jeans, he swiped his thumb over the screen and lifted it to his ear.

  I leaned back against the railing as he spoke to my mom. “Yeah, I found him. The boy is going to need medical attention…” Ma’s shout reached my ears, and I sighed, knowing I was really going to get it when she saw me. “Not Jagger. Cannon,” Barrick explained. “Well, maybe Jagger too. His hands are pretty fucked up right now.” He told her where we were and then hung up.

  “I’m sorry,” he said with sincere regret in his voice. “I know you’re going to catch hell for this. If I’d known what was really going on, I might not have even answered my phone earlier when she called.”

  I shrugged. “It’s fine. Like I said, I’ll take whatever happens. I deserve it for not protecting Violet from him.”

  “You couldn’t have known—” he tried to excuse.

  “I should have, though. I’ve turned a blind eye to his shit for too long. I know him better than anyone, even his own parents.” I stabbed my fingers through my hair, unknowingly smearing blood across my forehead. “I should have realized what he was capable of and stopped him. Or, at the very least, been there to protect the girls.”

  “Don’t beat yourself up over this. It happened, and you can’t change it.” He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “All you can really do now is learn from this.”

  “Yeah. Well, I know one thing I learned.”

  Barrick’s brows lifted. “What’s that?”

  “If I’m going to kill someone, I should just break their neck as soon as I get my hands on them, so no one can fucking stop me next time.” I shrugged off his hand and climbed down the ladder.

  Walking over to the nearest bench, I sat and waited.

  It didn’t take long before Ma arrived, and all hell broke loose.

  Chapter 9

  Shaw

  My parents were home by noon, thanks to a chartered jet. But they obviously hadn’t slept, and the murderous look on my mother’s face was enough to scare just about anyone.

  I sat on the couch in the living room, still a little hungover. On the other end of the couch sat my brother, with an ice pack to his face. I’d heard Aunt Emmie on the phone with someone not long after she’d arrived at Violet’s house early that morning. She’d gone ballistic and then left with Uncle Nik. It had been hours before she’d returned and told me it was time to go home.

  I hadn’t wanted to leave Vi, but I knew better than to argue with her. Especially when she looked like she was one smartass comment away from losing her shit and eviscerating everything—and everyone—in her path. I walked into my house with her and found my brother’s face almost unrecognizable.

  His left eye was swollen closed, there were stitches in his cheek, and his lips were split open in several places. Cannon groaned with every shallow breath he took, and I couldn’t help smirking at him. “Remington Sawyer do that to you?” I’d taunted, figuring Violet’s friend had gone back to the party and fucked him up. I knew Remington had a thing for my best friend, and it wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d been the one to pound my douchebag brother into the massive bruise he currently was.

  “No,” he’d grunted in my general direction without lifting his gaze, but he didn’t elaborate.

  That only confused me. If it wasn’t Remington, then I didn’t know who else could have beaten the hell out of him. Luca was in Alabama, and Lyric had been with us all night, trying to soothe Violet because she was so upset.

  I was still worried about her. Vi wasn’t one to let anyone see her emotional. She bottled things up when she knew others would get upset if she showed her feelings, which told me just how out of it she was. And it made me want to throw a few more punches at my brother for hurting her so badly.

  As Mom paced back and forth in front of us, I debated just leaning over and throwing a punch at Cannon’s right eye to make it match the left one. But Mom must have read the intent on my face because she paused and glared down at me. “Keep your damn hands to yourself, Bradshaw Harper Cage,” she seethed. “There will be no more bodily harm from either of you today.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I muttered as I folded my hands together in my lap and lowered my gaze to the coffee table that separated us from her.

  A few feet away, Dad stood with a mug of strong coffee in his hands. He was drinking it silently as he kept his eyes focused solely on Cannon. The anger and disappointment I saw in his hazel eyes made my heart squeeze because I knew he was feeling those same emotions toward me as well.

  Mom went back to pacing, and with each step she took, the entire house seemed to swell with her tension. Cannon seemed in too much pain to feel it, but I was almost suffocating on it.

  “Shaw,” she gritted out my name, and I hastily lifted my eyes to her face.

  I gulped. “Yes, ma’am?”

  “You’re grounded for the next month. No car. Nothing. You don’t leave these four walls unless it’s for school or work. And only then if your dad or I can accompany you.”

  I nodded quickly. “Yes, ma’am. I understand.”

  “Now, go upstairs. No television or phone. The only time you can have your cell is when you go to school, and only then because I’ll be making sure your ass is where it’s supposed to be.” She tilted her chin toward the stairs. “Go.”

  I jumped to my feet and practically ran up the steps, but instead of going straight to my room, I stopped just out of sight so I could listen to what she would say to my brother.

  There was a long silence, but I could still feel her anger, even from where I was standing on the second floor. Almost a full minute passed before she spoke. “Go to your fucking room, Shaw!”

  Jerking in reaction to her harsh tone, I made a run for my bedroom before she decided to lengthen my grounding. I wanted to know what they were saying to Cannon, what his punishment would be, but not enough to turn Mom’s wrath on myself even more than it already was.

  Once the door was closed behind me, I stripped off my clothes and walked into my bathroom. I hadn’t gotten any sleep after Uncle Shane and Lyric had woken me up at two that morning. I felt sticky and exhausted, so I took a long shower and then crawled into bed dressed in my favorite pajamas, intending to go straight to sleep.

  But as I pulled the covers up over my legs, I heard a knock on my door. Before I could ask who it was, Cannon pushed it open and stepped over the threshold.

  “Get out,” I growled.

  “I…” He swallowed hard, and I noticed his fingers were trembling. “I wanted to say I’m sorry…for calling you a slut.”

&nbs
p; “Apology not accepted,” I told him coldly. “Get out.”

  “Shaw, please. I… Fuck, I don’t know what came over me last night. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I know I hurt you—”

  “What you said to me isn’t the problem, dumbass. You put your hands on Violet.” I jumped out of bed and stomped toward him. “Violet. The girl who has been like our little sister her entire life. If you can do that to her, then what’s stopping you from doing it to other girls?”

  He lowered his head in shame. “I’m sorry,” he rasped out. “It will never happen again. I swear.”

  “I don’t want to hear your worthless words right now, Can. Just go away. I’m tired of looking at you.” I turned to go back to my bed, putting him out of my mind so I could hopefully get some sleep.

  “I’m leaving in the morning,” he announced behind me.

  “See ya,” I said as I sat on the edge of the bed.

  “They’re sending me to military school.” There was anger in his voice now, and I rolled my eyes.

  For years, our parents had been threatening him with military school because of his treatment of Piper Bryant. I adored Piper and couldn’t understand why he was always so mean to her. Everyone who met her couldn’t help but love her. Everyone except for Cannon, apparently. It was because of Piper that Lyric and my brother were always fighting. But with Piper away at Julliard most of the year for school these days, things had calmed down a little.

  But it looked like Mom and Dad had finally had enough of Cannon’s bullshit. He would actually be going to military school. I already knew which one they had chosen because they’d really been looking into it the last time he’d bullied Piper. What stopped them then, I wasn’t sure, but maybe if they’d sent him away at that point, this wouldn’t have happened to Violet.

  Cannon would be spending his last year of high school in Texas at one of the most prestigious and hard-core military academies in the country.

  Maybe it would be good for him. It might teach him some values, make him less selfish and so fucking entitled. Maybe it would even teach him some respect.

  For some reason, however, I doubted it.

  I glanced over at him, bored with his company. “Do you want me to feel sorry for you, Can? Did you expect me to be sad that you’ll be leaving and try to talk Dad out of sending you away?”

  His mouth opened, probably to deny it, but whatever he saw on my face had him quickly closing his mouth. That was exactly why he’d come to me. Thinking I would help him, protect him. A year ago, I would have done just that. But not now. Not ever again. My days of being loyal to him, wanting to save him from everyone—including himself—were long gone.

  It wasn’t his treatment of me in the past year that had made me feel that way. It wasn’t even his keeping me away from Jagger. No, it had nothing to do with me or his best friend, and everything to do with Violet.

  After what he’d done to her, he’d lost my respect, but more than that, he’d lost my loyalty and love.

  All I felt for him now was loathing.

  “Close the door on your way out,” I told him as I lifted my legs onto my bed and slid them under my covers.

  “Shaw…”

  I stayed upright even though I ached to lay my head on my pillow and close my eyes. “I hope you take this time to grow up, Cannon. To realize the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

  “I—”

  I held up my hand, cutting off whatever he was going to say. “I really don’t want to hear it. Once, I might have cared, but you pushed yourself straight out of my heart last night. You’re lucky I wasn’t the one who beat the hell out of you, because I wouldn’t have stopped until you were dead.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m sure Jagger would have killed me if Barrick hadn’t stopped him,” he muttered, touching his hand to the stitched-up gash on his cheek.

  My eyes widened. “Jagger did this to you?” I asked him in complete disbelief.

  His blue eyes darkened with pain. “Yeah. Looks like I lost everything, including my best friend.”

  “It’s nothing less than you deserve,” I spat at him. “Now get the fuck out of my room, Cannon. Just looking at you makes me want to finish the job Jags didn’t.”

  He inhaled sharply then groaned because it must have hurt his ribs. With a defeated look on his handsome face, my brother lowered his head and turned to go. “I really am sorry, Shaw,” he murmured as he closed the door behind him.

  His “sorry” fell on deaf ears. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Jagger turning on his best friend like that. I never would have imagined those two having a true falling-out. Honestly, I thought that once they both calmed down from the party the night before, they would be thick as thieves again.

  Instead, Jagger had actually tried to beat Cannon to death.

  My heart clenched when I thought maybe Jags did it because he was picking me over his friendship with my brother.

  But then reality set in. Jagger would never pick me. He’d done it because of what happened to Violet. I was stupid to think I would ever come first with him.

  Even if by some miracle I did, it wouldn’t matter because whatever we might have been able to become was over. After what he’d done, setting me up to find him kissing someone else, I didn’t want anything to do with him. He’d tried to break my heart and make me hate him.

  And he had succeeded.

  Chapter 10

  Jagger

  Being grounded made time go by at the speed of a sloth. I anxiously counted down the days until I could leave the house for anything other than school. Ma had taken my phone, given me a stupid GPS device I was supposed to keep on my person at all times—so she could track my comings and goings—and laid down some harsh laws after she’d gotten back from taking Cannon to the hospital.

  When she came home, breathing so heavily from her anger that her nostrils flared, her pretty green eyes shooting fire straight at me, I was scared. But my punishment was nothing more than having material things taken away. Things I knew I could easily live without. For whatever reason, she’d gone fairly easy on me.

  It was the disappointment I saw in her eyes when she looked at me that really hurt.

  I’d fucked up, and I didn’t know how to fix anything.

  Not with her, and definitely not with Shaw.

  For the past four weeks, I’d been trying to come up with something to get Shaw to forgive me—to give us a chance. She was grounded just like I was, but I’d found a few ways to contact her, and every time she had point-blank told me to fuck off.

  What I really need to do was see her, tell her face-to-face how sorry I was and beg her to give me one more chance. If I could just touch her, kiss her, I could remind her that we were amazing together. Maybe I could weaken her resolve if nothing else, and at least start getting us moving in the right direction toward being together.

  My grounding was officially over, and I’d heard through Lyric that Shaw’s and Violet’s were over as well. It was Friday and I’d had a hell of a week at school, but nothing was going to stop me from driving to Santa Monica and seeing my girl.

  As soon as the final bell of the day rang, I grabbed my shit and practically sprinted out to the student parking lot. I’d actually gotten to drive myself for the first time that morning instead of Dad dropping me off. As I got behind the wheel of my car, it took some serious willpower not to leave skid marks behind in my eagerness to get to Shaw.

  Halfway to Shaw’s house, my phone went off. Seeing who it was, I immediately hit connect. “Hey, man.”

  “She’s not grounded after today, right?” Luca’s voice greeted me.

  “From what Ric said the last time I spoke to him, she’s free,” I confirmed.

  “Can you stop by her house and check on her for me?” His voice sounded choked. “I just need to know she’s okay.”

  I frowned at the emotional request. “Is everything okay between you two?” I knew Lyric and Violet had flown out to see Luca after what happened w
ith Cannon, but other than that, I hadn’t really heard anything else on the whole matter. No one was talking much about that weekend, and I didn’t blame them.

  Everything had gotten fucked up, and it was all my fault. If I hadn’t tried to push Shaw away, none of us would have even been at that stupid party. Violet wouldn’t have been attacked, and Cannon wouldn’t be in Texas at some strict military school.

  I heard Luca’s shuddery inhale then the drawn-out release. “Please just do this for me, Jagger. I’ll owe you, okay?”

  “I’ll stop by before I go to Shaw’s,” I promised.

  “Thanks,” he muttered before the line went silent.

  Pushing my concern for him aside, I concentrated on getting to my destination. A mile or so from Shaw’s house, I passed my uncle Drake’s house and saw he was just getting out of his vehicle in his driveway. Rolling down my window, I slowed and yelled “Hey, old man!” to him.

  Turning his head, he grinned when he saw me and flipped me off. “Be good, kid!” he called out.

  I grinned but kept driving, feeling a little better for having seen him. The year before, we’d nearly lost him to liver disease. I’d never been so scared of losing anyone in my life as I had been when he’d had to have an emergency liver transplant.

  A few minutes later, I drove past Shaw’s house and pulled into Uncle’s Shane’s driveway. I didn’t see any vehicles in the driveway or garage, so I figured Aunt Harper and Uncle Shane weren’t home. Getting out, I walked up the front steps and was about to knock when the door opened. Mason stood on the other side with Oscar, who wagged his tail and barked in greeting.

  “Hey,” Mason said around the bite he’d just taken of the red apple in his hand. “What’s up?”

  “Vi home?” I asked, glancing over his head into the house.

  “She just got home.” He stepped back, letting me inside. “Haven’t seen you in a while. You get grounded too?”

  “Yeah,” I admitted with a grimace. “It was worth it, though.”