Wanting Shaw (Rockers' Legacy Book 5)

by Terri Anne Browning

  Now, I knew I was in love with Shaw, and while my cock wanted to do all the thinking for me, I was smart enough not to allow him.

  “I’m not in love with anyone else,” she denied vehemently. “Not for months now.”

  “Yeah, okay.” I couldn’t keep the disbelief out of my tone any more than I could stop myself from snorting.

  I expected Remington to try to stop me, but he was smart enough not to even argue. Still, I got out of there as quickly as I could in case he changed his mind. I really didn’t want to have to fight the guy, but if he tried to stop me from taking the girls home, I would be forced to fuck him up.

  I didn’t put Violet down until I reached Shaw’s car and was glad to see she’d followed us. “I took an Uber,” I told her, holding out my hand for her keys. “So I’ll drive you two home.”

  When they both just glared at me, I stepped closer to Shaw. “I already texted Luca.” I hadn’t, but she didn’t need to know that. I just needed to use whatever leverage I could to get her to give me what I wanted, and I knew she wouldn’t put Violet in the position of having to deal with Luca’s crazy ass right then. “Make up your mind, Dimples. You gonna stand there and glare at me all night, wait around until he shows up here and makes a total scene and upsets your bestie again?” I smirked. “Or you gonna hand over the keys and let me drive your sexy ass home?”

  I knew threatening her was the wrong decision as soon as she snarled, “Asshole,” at me. The next thing I knew, I was taking a punch to the face.

  Fuck, that hurt.

  Blood started pouring from my nose, and I grasped it, trying to put pressure to stop the rapid flow.

  “I’m going with option three,” she growled at me. “Where I drive myself home and you go fuck yourself.”

  Shaw took Violet’s arm and guided her to the passenger door. After her friend was inside, she shot me one more hard look before getting behind the wheel and driving away.

  “Idiot,” I berated myself as I walked down the driveway to wait for an Uber. “You know what a hothead she is.” I touched my swollen nose, thankful it had stopped bleeding for the moment, and grinned. “But fuck, she’s hot as hell when she’s pissed.”

  Chapter 15

  Shaw

  I yawned as I walked on to the jet behind Mom. It was only early evening, but I was exhausted after the past few months of school during the week and then babysitting Violet each weekend while she partied, drank until she couldn’t remember her own name, and made out with random guys to push Luca’s buttons.

  I got it. Really, I did. I understood her need to be a little self-destructive. She couldn’t fall apart in front of others, so she had to find some way of coping with the pain and anger that festered inside herself like a living entity. But I was starting to see that I shouldn’t be enabling her because she was eventually going to burn out.

  Or worse…

  I’d heard the stories about both her father and Uncle Drake. Both had been addicts before they’d married their wives. Both had different addictions, but addictions, nonetheless. And I was beginning to fear that my best friend was going to become an addict if she didn’t slow down.

  I needed to find a way to talk to her about it.

  If that didn’t work, then I worried I was going to have to go behind her back and tell her parents so we could get her some help.

  This weekend, I had a photo shoot, which was kind of a blessing. It would give me time to think about how to handle the situation without her seeing my struggle. But it was also giving me anxiety because I was scared as hell that she was going to go out partying without me—even though I’d made her promise me she wouldn’t.

  Once she started drinking, she didn’t know how to say no to guys who started putting their hands on her body and their tongues down her throat. I watched her back at the parties, making sure whatever guy she started making out with kept things PG-13. I attempted to keep my best friend from ruining her life with something she couldn’t easily get rid of with a few rounds of antibiotics.

  Since Luca had destroyed her, however, Vi wasn’t completely trustworthy, and I was questioning the feeble promise she’d given me earlier that afternoon.

  The next day was going to be nonstop busy with first a photo shoot and then a commercial for the same client in the afternoon, so my parents had asked to borrow Aunt Emmie’s company jet so we could travel without having to worry about all the curious people and the risk of delays with a commercial flight.

  But I should have realized we wouldn’t be the only ones using it.

  I’d barely flopped inelegantly into a seat and fastened my belt when Uncle Nik came on with Dad. The adults took a seat on the sofas that faced each other, and I held my breath, hoping beyond hope that Uncle Nik was the only one joining us, while my heart pounded with anticipation at the thought of who else might be accompanying us on this trip.

  Around me, the flight attendant was offering everyone drinks and snacks, while the pilot kept us updated that we would be ready for takeoff momentarily. Just as I was starting to relax, Jagger came strolling on to the plane. He had a baseball cap on backward and aviators that covered half of his handsome face. His jeans rode low on his hips, and his blue button-up matched the color of my eyes.

  “Thanks for joining us,” Uncle Nik snarked as he turned from his conversation with my parents. “Two more minutes and I would have been going to New York without you. While I don’t mind filling in for your commitments, I think your mom would have been pissed.”

  Jagger shrugged as he dropped down into the seat directly across from mine. Even with his sunglasses shielding his eyes, I could feel his gaze burning into me. “Yeah, just making sure no one had time to make a run for it if I showed up too early.”

  While the others weren’t looking, I flipped him off, earning me a smirk.

  “Where is Aunt Emmie?” I asked, turning my gaze to Uncle Nik.

  “She’s handling something for the Tainted Knights guys this weekend,” he informed me. “Otherwise, it would have been her going with this dipshit this weekend, and I could have stayed and snuggled with my Little Em.”

  “Why not send Shaw to be Jagger’s assistant tomorrow night?” Mom suggested, and I shot her a glare. She only winked and turned her attention to Jagger’s dad. “I mean, we’re old. We would only cramp their style—or whatever the hell parents do to embarrass kids these days.”

  Dad snorted as he accepted the mug of coffee from the flight attendant. “What the hell is he doing anyway?”

  “Performing on SNL,” Uncle Nik said with a grimace.

  I gasped then quickly pressed my lips together, while Mom and Dad laughed. They thought it was hilarious that Jagger was performing solo on the one show my brother had always coveted performing live on. To them, it was one more thing my brother was missing out on because he’d fucked up. It was one more punishment they felt he deserved.

  It wasn’t that performing on SNL was a make-or-break kind of thing that would put my brother on the map. He and Jagger were already on top of the charts. There were already talks of the two of them headlining tours, which was where the real money was in the music world. But for my brother, he’d always said that one of his top ten things to do once his career took off was perform—or even guest star—on his favorite show.

  Part of me wanted to text Cannon and rub it in his face that his best friend was going to do one of the things he’d always hoped to do. But another part felt sorry for the poor dumbass.

  I hadn’t seen him since he’d left for military school. He was supposed to come home for Thanksgiving, but he’d gotten into some trouble. I had no idea what he’d done, but Mom said he was supposed to spend the entire Thanksgiving break cleaning every toilet on campus.

  Then for Christmas, he’d gotten into trouble yet again, and Mom and Dad had flown out for a few days after Christmas to be with him. I’d flown to Knoxville to spend some time with Kenzie and Bishop, not wanting to give Cannon the gift of my time. My parents h
adn’t said anything about my decision. I figured they didn’t want to push either of us where our relationship was concerned in case it made things worse. Knowing those two, they probably thought we would eventually hug and make up if given enough time.

  But while I would admit I did kind of miss the asshole, I had zero plans for ever forgiving him for what he’d put Violet through. My loyalty was first and forever with her. Maybe if she forgave him one day, I would think about doing the same. But until that small miracle happened, Cannon was out of luck.

  “Shaw should definitely be my assistant tomorrow night,” Jagger told Mom. “Then you three can just chill at the hotel all evening.”

  “Or not,” I muttered. “I’m going to be exhausted after working all day.”

  “If she has to be your assistant tomorrow night, then you should be hers all day tomorrow,” Dad cut in.

  “Seems fair to me,” Uncle Nik agreed.

  “Deal,” Jagger said before I could pick my jaw up off the floor where it had fallen at my father’s ridiculous suggestion.

  “Perfect,” Mom said as she sat back and crossed her long legs.

  “But—” I broke off, trying to figure out a plausible excuse that would get my mom to relent. “What if I need help with my wardrobe changes? Jagger can’t just…”

  “That’s what the seamstress and stylist are there for, sweetheart.” Mom waved off the excuse before I could even fully form it. “And he’s seen you in a bikini plenty of times.”

  “Yeah, Dimples,” Jagger agreed, his eyes skimming over me hungrily. With him sitting in the seat facing me, his back was to our parents so they couldn’t see the provocative way he was looking at me. I felt my body responding to his appraisal, my heart pounding against my rib cage. “Didn’t I see you in one just the other day?”

  Muttering a curse under my breath, I kicked out my leg, connecting with his shin.

  He had seen me in a bikini Tuesday when he’d shown up at my house after school. I’d been on the beach trying to get a little sun since it was so warm out. At one point, I’d turned over after having fallen asleep and found him in the lounger beside mine.

  His eyes had devoured me then just as they were doing now. But on Tuesday, I’d been able to run into the house and lock him out, whereas I couldn’t get away from him so easily now.

  Couldn’t run away from the feelings he kept forcing me to acknowledge. Fighting my need and love for him was annoying. And painful. But I did it anyway.

  Ever since Remington’s party, Jagger had been showing up even more often at places I happened to be. There were plenty of parties Vi and I had gone to that he’d mysteriously gotten an invite to. It pissed me off that he was basically stalking me.

  Even as it did something funny to my heart—the stupid thing.

  Apparently the damn organ hadn’t completely gotten the memo that we weren’t going to let anyone—especially this dickhead —have even a small part of my heart. There was no fucking way I was going to get involved with him.

  Or any guy, for that matter.

  They weren’t worth my time. Having a relationship was like begging to have my heart broken. And that was a big hell no for me.

  But being around him so often made it so damn hard to fight my feelings. I wanted to melt into him. Let him ease the pain in my heart—and the other, more pressing ache that kept me up at night because he wasn’t there to make it better.

  I knew it was his goal. To wear me down until I caved and gave him a chance.

  Only, I knew as soon as I did, he would break my heart, and I’d be a shattered mess just like Violet.

  Yeah, no thanks.

  It wasn’t long before we were in the air. I put in my earbuds and tried to ignore the guy sitting in front of me. He’d tossed his hat and glasses into the seat beside him and reclined back. Hands folded behind his head, he continued to watch me like it was his favorite thing to do, and I did my best to pretend like he didn’t exist.

  Eventually, my exhaustion caught up to me, and I dozed off.

  When I opened my eyes an indeterminate period of time later, it was to find myself lying on one of the couches farther back on the jet. A soft blanket was covering me, and my head…

  …was pillowed on Jagger’s lap.

  I started to sit up as soon as I realized what I was using for a pillow, but he put a hand on my shoulder, keeping me locked in place. With his other hand, he traced his fingers over my brow, murmuring for me to go back to sleep.

  “We still have another hour before we get to New York,” he said quietly. “Get some rest. You’ll be run off your feet all day tomorrow.”

  The way he was stroking my forehead had me closing my eyes again, and I could admit—if only to myself—I liked being this close to him. I could pretend he was mine and he wouldn’t break my heart. For a little while. With a sad sigh, I let sleep take me again.

  Sometime later, the pilot’s voice over the speaker system telling us we were going to be landing soon roused me. Groaning because I’d been having the best dream, I reluctantly sat up. As I did, Jagger stretched his legs out, and I realized they must have fallen asleep with how long he’d been sitting in the same spot with my head on his lap.

  “You should have just put a pillow under me,” I chided him.

  Reaching out, he pushed a few strands of my hair behind my ear. “Then I wouldn’t have gotten to hold you,” he murmured. “I would have sat here for days if it meant you were this close, Dimples.”

  Outwardly, I rolled my eyes, while inside, something squeezed and began to melt.

  Once the plane was on the ground, I saw two SUVs waiting for us on the tarmac. The drivers were members of Jagger’s brother-in-law’s security team, and they started loading our luggage into the backs of the vehicles even as we exited the jet.

  “Shaw, ride with Jagger,” Mom called as she got in the back of the first SUV, while Dad held the door open for her. “That way, your dad can stretch out, and we won’t be cramped.”

  I huffed in frustration at her. It felt like she was setting me up, making me spend as much time with Jagger as possible. And not just her. It was our dads too. Like they were pushing us together for some reason.

  Annoyed, I stomped to the second SUV and angrily opened the back door. Tossing my purse in, I started to climb into the back seat, but my foot slipped.

  Strong hands caught my hips, locking me in place against a hard body. Air caught in my throat, and I couldn’t fight the shiver that traveled up my spine when I felt Jagger’s breath against my neck. “Easy, Dimples.”

  I elbowed him in the stomach, hard, and I hid my grin when I heard the air get knocked out of him. Pushing his hands off my hips, I slid into the back seat and scooted over to the opposite door. With a grunt, he got in beside me.

  “Brat,” he muttered, but when I glanced at him, he was fighting a grin.

  “Ass,” I tossed at him.

  “Beautiful.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Dickhead.”

  “Love of my life.”

  The breath caught in my throat again, but I quickly turned my head to look out the window before he could see how his words affected me.

  “Shaw,” he muttered when I didn’t fire an insult back at him. “Can we please just have this weekend?”

  I frowned and slowly turned my head to look at him. “What do you mean?”

  He moved so his back was against the door. “I mean, give me this weekend to show you that we can be good together. Let me prove to you that you won’t regret being with me. Just the next few days. That’s all I’m asking for.”

  “What’s that going to change, Jags?” I demanded. After him calling me the love of his life, I’d already been fighting tears. Now, they were threatening to spill over, and I didn’t want him to see me cry. “A few days isn’t long enough to prove anything. It’s what comes after I give you a chance that scares me.”

  “I know you’re scared.” Reaching out, he cupped my face. “But the only way to prove to
you I won’t break your heart is time, baby.”

  “By which point, I’ll be too far in. My heart is already weak where you’re concerned,” I admitted. “I don’t trust it.”

  “Then just give us both this weekend, and we’ll go back to how it’s always been on Monday,” he countered. “For the next two days, let’s pretend like nothing else matters but you and me. We’ll get some work done. Together. Play a little. Together. Let me call you mine, if only for a short time, Shaw. Give me something, baby. Please.”

  The pain and desperation in his eyes twisted something deep in my soul, and even though I knew it wasn’t a smart idea, I found myself nodding. “Okay. Just for the weekend.” His pale-blue eyes brightened. “But when Monday gets here, we go back to just being friends.”

  “Deal.” Taking my hand, he lifted it to his mouth and kissed my palm, causing goose bumps to pop up along my entire arm. “You won’t regret it, Dimples. I promise.”

  I’d had to do photo shoots before. For album covers, posters, and other merchandise. Publicity for my record label or even just for Ma. Usually, Santana Conway was the director and photographer of those shoots, so I knew they would go smoothly. She was fun to work with and the wife of Tainted Knights’ drummer, Kale Conway, so I always knew I could relax and just be myself when I had to work with her.

  When I walked with Shaw into the studio where her client had instructed her to show up, I felt a tension in the air as soon as the door shut behind us. I glanced around, already noting the people sprinting around to get things set up, while some guy in skinny jeans and a shirt at least a size too small only half buttoned up to show off his smooth chest was barking orders. His pale blond hair was styled, and his lips had a poutiness to them that broadcast the fact that they had some kind of filler in them.

  Beside me, Shaw sighed heavily before lifting the venti coffee I’d shown up at her hotel room door with. Taking a sip, she pushed the cup into my free hand. “Don’t go far. I’m going to need that in about five minutes. Fuck, I hate working with Auden.”