Wanting Shaw (Rockers' Legacy Book 5)

by Terri Anne Browning

  My heart was just starting to calm down after the scare, when I heard a hard laugh. My head snapped up to find Cannon standing in the hall with our drummer, Smith. His eyes were on Dana, who was turned half toward me and half toward the door, as if she’d been contemplating making a run for it.

  As his eyes raked over her, nausea started to roll in my stomach.

  “Jags?” Shaw touched my arm. “Hey, are you okay? You look like you’re going to be sick.”

  I knew if I looked down at her, I would break. My gaze stayed locked on Cannon, knowing he held my future in the palm of his hand.

  “Jesus, sis. Leave the poor dumbass alone. There’s a virus or something going around.” Cannon eased past the two women, not even giving Dana another look. “Dude, what do you have to eat? I’m starving.”

  Relief hit me so hard, I nearly dropped to my knees. Knowing I owed him one, I pulled Shaw close and pressed a kiss to her temple. I breathed in her scent slowly, waiting for my heart rate to slow to something resembling normal while I thanked all of Ma’s gods for not taking my everything away.

  “Babe, we really do have to get going,” Dana told Kayla. She gave me a hard look before taking a step back. “I’m sure we can get to know the new neighbors another time.”

  “I’d like that,” Shaw told them. “Maybe we could do dinner or something?”

  “I’ll let you know,” Kayla told her. “Work can get crazy. Next time I see you, we’ll exchange digits.” With a wave, the couple started for the elevators.

  As the door closed behind them, I pulled Shaw closer and kissed her hard. “I love you,” I rasped against her lips.

  Her concerned baby blues skimmed over my face. “Are you okay? You’re not nearly as pale as you were, but you’re still sweating a little.”

  “As long as you’re right here beside me, nothing could ever be wrong.” I pushed a few strands of her honey-blond hair behind her ear. “I just had a stomach cramp earlier. I’m good now.”

  She wrapped her arms around my waist and tilted her head back. “As soon as everyone goes home, I think we should head to bed. A little cuddling always helps with just about anything.”

  “I couldn’t agree more.” I heard someone call my name, and I sighed. “Until then, I guess we should pay attention to the guests.”

  She grinned. “Most of them anyway.”

  I kissed the tip of her nose. “I’m going to go get something to drink and talk to Arella for a second.”

  “I would join you, but I need to take a bathroom break.” She kissed my chin then released me. “Go talk to the hottie actress girl. I’ll see you in a few.”

  I watched her head for our room before forcing myself to move. I didn’t see Arella anywhere and figured she was in the kitchen. Which was where Cannon had disappeared with Smith. Clenching my jaw, I worked my way through the crowd and into the kitchen.

  As I entered, I heard Arella laugh and found her leaning against the counter by the fridge with a plate in her hand. Cannon stood in front of her, flirting like always when it came to either of the older two Stevenson sisters. Palmer and Smith were standing at the kitchen island talking, but I saw Palmer shooting Cannon a glare even as she spoke to the drummer.

  Even though Palmer wasn’t out, I suspected she was a lesbian and that she was in love with Arella. But I knew my little cousin wasn’t into girls. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Arella was half in love with my sister’s best friend. Jordan could deny it all he wanted, but Mia and I both knew he was more than a little in love with Arella too.

  “Ah, there’s the man of the hour,” Arella said when she spotted me. Contriteness crossed her face. “Sorry if I interrupted something when I got here. Things seemed a little tense. Is Shaw pissed at you?”

  “You didn’t interrupt. And thankfully, Shaw isn’t upset.” Whether or not she stayed that way was still to be determined. When I reached Arella, I took hold of her elbow and guided her away from Cannon. I didn’t want him around any of the women I loved, and that included all of my female cousins.

  Bending my head, I kissed her cheek then whispered close to her ear so only she could hear me. “Do me a solid. I need to talk to this asshole and don’t want Shaw to get pissed at me. Think you can clear this room and then keep my girl entertained while I deal with her brother?”

  Her blue-gray gaze went back to Cannon, who was standing where he’d been when I’d walked in, before nodding. “No problem.” She headed for the door. “Palmer, Smith. Keep me company while I speak to my sister.”

  Palmer didn’t even hesitate to follow, but when Smith opened his mouth to argue, I shot him a look to listen to the pretty girl. Snapping his mouth shut, he grabbed his plate and rushed after them.

  I waited until the door swung shut behind them before turning back to the guy who’d saved my ass but still had the power to make all my dreams come crashing down around my head.

  “Thank you for not saying anything earlier,” I gritted out.

  “Dude, you looked like you were about to have a heart attack. I was kind of worried you were going to die then and there.” He laughed and lifted his soda to take a thirsty drink. “I didn’t want Little Em to see her uncle bite the dust. It would scar the poor kid for life.”

  I scrubbed my hands through my hair. “I might have if Shaw found out about Dana.” I turned pleading eyes on him. “She can’t know. Things are finally going in the right direction with us.”

  His brows pulled together. “So, don’t tell her.”

  “Does that mean you won’t tell her either?” On the inside, I was mentally begging, Gods, please don’t tell her. Don’t ruin the happiness I have with Shaw.

  He leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. His blue eyes, so like his sister’s, assessed me for a few moments, as if he could see that I was clawing at the walls of my sanity, scared that he was going to fuck up my relationship with Shaw. After a while, he grinned. “Depends.”

  Fuck. I should have known his silence would come at a price. “On what?”

  “This place is pretty big. Reminds me of all those times we talked about getting an apartment together. If I remember correctly, there is a second bedroom that isn’t much smaller than the master. Has its own bathroom and everything.”

  “No fucking way,” I growled. Not only did I not want to be that close to this asshole, but Shaw would lose her shit if Cannon moved in here. I’d already promised her that his being back wouldn’t change anything between us. If he became my roommate, it might mess up everything.

  He shrugged. “Huh. Well, I guess if I’m living at my parents’, I might let it slip about sweet, juicy Dana. Damn, she was something else, wasn’t she? Had the tightest ass—”

  “Okay,” I exploded, then sucked in a calming breath. “Just keep your fucking mouth shut, and you can have the extra bedroom.”

  He laughed and rubbed his hands together. “Perfect. I’ll just go get my shit.”

  “Not so fast.” I grabbed his arm when he would have walked past me, stopping him from leaving. “You can move in, but not tonight. Give me a few days to tell Shaw. She’s going to be pissed enough at me. If you move in tonight, she won’t understand.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Big deal. She’s always pissed about something. Girl has constant PMS or some shit.”

  “Shut the fuck up!” I snarled at him. “You’re not going to speak to or about her like that. Just because you’re going to be living here doesn’t mean you and I are friends again. And I sure as hell won’t stand by and let you treat her like that.”

  He jerked his arm out of my hold. “Her being pissed isn’t my problem. But whatever, man. I’ll wait and move in on Monday.” He smirked. “Make sure and get me an extra key made. See ya later, fucker.”

  As he walked away, I stabbed my fingers through my hair and muttered a curse. I didn’t know how I was going to explain this to Shaw without upsetting her, but I had to find a way.

  I couldn’t lose her.
/>   Chapter 25

  Shaw

  Sunday morning, I woke up with Jagger still pressed up against me. His heat alone made the need for a blanket of any kind redundant. When I shifted, he followed, as if he couldn’t stand to be so much as an inch away from me, even in his sleep. I kissed his cheek, knowing he still wasn’t feeling well, and carefully untangled myself so I could start my day.

  After everyone had left the night before, he’d been pale and quiet, so I knew his stomach was continuing to bother him. I’d said goodnight to Violet and then pulled Jagger into his bedroom. After he showered, we’d snuggled together under the covers, and I’d just stroked my fingers up and down his back until he fell asleep.

  But not before he told me he loved me.

  Hearing those words had me drifting into dreamland with a smile on my face that was still there when I stepped into the shower. Once I was dressed and walked back into the bedroom, Jagger was lying on his stomach, my pillow clutched to his side as he snored.

  I could get used to this every morning.

  With that thought ringing in my head, I walked into the kitchen to find Violet already sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal in front of her as she texted away.

  “Who are you talking to so early?” I asked as I opened the fridge and pulled out the container of orange juice.

  “Just Remington,” she said, dropping her spoon into her-now empty bowl. “He’s still in Japan, but he said his grandfather is talking about London.”

  “I love London. What I wouldn’t give for one of Aldrich’s omelets right now.” My stomach grumbled hungrily at the thought of the celebrity chef’s fluffy, spicy, veggie omelet goodness.

  “Maybe we can take a trip and meet up with Remington at Aldrich’s restaurant,” Violet suggested, her pretty purple eyes flashing with excitement.

  “I’m down,” I told her with a grin.

  She typed another text and then set her phone facedown on the table. “I have to head home soon. I’m interning at the magazine for the summer, and I start tomorrow.”

  “Okay, give me a few minutes, and I’ll drive you home.” I finished my glass of juice while I made myself some toast and then wrote Jagger a note before grabbing my purse, and we left. Violet had her overnight bag, but I decided to leave my stuff behind so I would have something there the next time I came over.

  The thought of leaving more and more of my things at Jagger’s was something I’d imagined would freak me out, but for some reason, I wasn’t nearly as nervous about it as expected. After the weekend I’d just spent with him, most of my fear had started to let up. Jagger had been so patient with me, and I was beginning to see that he wasn’t going to hurt me like Luca had Violet.

  He’d already proved he picked me over Cannon.

  “You’re so happy, you’re glowing,” Violet commented as we walked to the elevators. “I mean, damn girl. Did you and Jagger…?” She gave me an eyebrow waggle, and I snorted out a laugh.

  “Not last night. He wasn’t feeling well.” I linked my arm through hers. “But as soon as he’s feeling better, I’m jumping his bones.”

  “You mean bone,” she snickered.

  We were both laughing as we passed Kayla and Dana’s apartment. The door opened, and Kayla stuck her head out. Seeing us, she quickly closed the door behind her as she stepped into the hall. She was dressed in yoga pants and a workout top with running shoes on, so I assumed she was going to the gym.

  “Hey,” I greeted. “How was date night?”

  She sighed heavily as she fell into step with us. “It was enlightening.” Pressing her lips together, she stabbed the call button for the elevator a little aggressively. “How did you take your man telling you?”

  Vi and I shared a look, and I was glad to see I wasn’t the only one confused by Kayla’s question. “Tell me what?” I asked as the elevator doors opened.

  Her eyes widened. “He didn’t tell you,” she muttered. “Of course he didn’t. Men are dogs.”

  “Depends on the man,” Violet told her, her voice ringing with pain. “But yeah, I’ll agree with you for the most part.” She stepped into the elevator and Kayla followed her, but I just stood there, looking at the older girl.

  “Tell me what?” I repeated.

  Kayla’s mouth turned down. “I don’t feel right telling you.”

  “Shaw.” Violet waved her hand at me. “Hello? Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to drive me home? Because I can call Lyric for a ride if you need me to.”

  Shaking my head, I finally moved forward and onto the elevator with them, but my eyes were glued to Kayla. “I think you should tell me anyway. Obviously, you thought it was important enough that Jagger would at least say something about whatever it is, and you don’t exactly look all bubbly considering you had a date with your better half.”

  “Dana is only twenty, but she…has a past,” Kayla said after we’d descended a few floors. “I don’t hold it against her. She was looking for love in all the wrong places while trying to hide from her parents that she is a lesbian. They’re really religious, and once she came out, they kicked her out.”

  “Fuckers,” Violet and I muttered at the same time.

  “We all have a past in some shape or form,” Vi continued. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “Her past is a bit more colorful than some people’s. As I said, I don’t hold that against her. All of that was before we met, and I know she’s mine now, so I’m not going to go all alpha bitch on someone’s ass. Unless they deserve it. They make my girl cry, and I’m going to put a bullet in their head.”

  The elevator stopped in the garage, and we walked out as two other people were getting in. But we only took a few steps before stopping to continue our conversation.

  “Kayla, I get that. But what does this have to do with what Jagger has to tell me—” I broke off as the realization hit me. “Oh.”

  “Yeah.” Kayla nodded affirmatively. “Jagger seems like a great guy. What little I got to talk to him last night, I know he won’t be an issue. I was just wondering how you feel about him living down the hall from her.”

  I turned away from her and Violet and walked off a few steps. Jagger’s stomach had started bothering him when Kayla and Dana showed up. Now I understood that it wasn’t his stomach so much as his anxiety bothering him. He’d been blindsided by having Dana, a girl from his past, show up at the party.

  Was it because he didn’t want me to know—didn’t want me to think he might still want her? I was the jealous type, but Dana was with Kayla, and from what Kayla had said, it seemed like any guy from Dana’s past was just a smoke screen. Plus, I knew Jagger had a past. He’d been dicking around for years, long before I’d even thought about him in that kind of way. I wasn’t going to hold it against him.

  But I didn’t like that he hadn’t told me about Dana the night before. It hurt that he hadn’t been honest and upfront about her, but it was obvious it bothered him so much that he’d made himself ill over it.

  The Shaw of the past would have already been back on the elevator, headed for him like a missile to tear into him about keeping something like that from me. But the new Shaw, the one who was trying to trust in the guy who’d been so loving and patient, wanted to give him the chance to speak up.

  Deciding I was going to give him that chance, I turned back to my best friend and Kayla. “Don’t clue him in that I know,” I told them. “I want to give him the opportunity to tell me himself.”

  Violet blinked at me in surprise. “Really?”

  I smiled. “Yes, really. He says he loves me. I’m going to let him prove how much. If he can be honest with me, then I’ll know this was meant to be.” My stomach clenched, and I swallowed my sudden nervousness.

  “What if he doesn’t?” My bestie voiced my fear.

  “Then I’ll know we weren’t meant to be together.”

  I dropped Violet off at her house and then reversed and pulled into my own driveway. A shiny SUV was sit
ting in the driveway, and I could only guess it was Cannon’s new wheels. Our parents had refused to replace his car that they had sold, so this vehicle was one he’d paid for out of his own pocket. As my eyes slid across the sleek black exterior, I had to admit my brother had good taste.

  Walking into the house, I heard voices coming from the living room and debated avoiding Cannon, but when I heard both my parents, I shrugged and went to greet them.

  Mom and Dad were cuddled on the couch watching television, with Cannon sitting at the opposite end. Seeing me, Mom patted the spot beside her. “Hey. Come join us. We were starting this new reality show.”

  I dropped down beside her and grabbed a handful of popcorn out of her bowl. “I’ve seen this. Vi and I watched the full season Friday night.”

  “Do not spoil it for me, then,” Dad grumbled. “I heard this one chick is a little crazy, and I want to make up my own mind.”

  “How was the party?” Mom asked, more interested in talking to me than watching TV. She only watched those shows to spend time with Dad, so I knew she didn’t care if she missed anything or not.

  “It went really great. Jags is fighting a bug or something, though, so I’m going to go over and fix him something light to eat later.”

  “I’ll put a care package together for him that will help with whatever he’s fighting,” Mom offered.

  “Okay, thanks.” I was sure whatever she wanted to send him wasn’t going to help the hiding-stuff-from-his-girlfriend kind of bug he was fighting, but I figured once he confessed what was on his mind, he’d be fine again. I’d go over and he could unload what was weighing him down, and everything would be back to normal once more.

  From the other end of the couch, Cannon was humming happily to himself while he played on his phone, only half paying attention to what was happening on TV. Annoyed, I glanced his way and saw a huge, smug grin on his face as he swiped his thumb over his screen.