Fear Me

by B. B. Reid

  So it was bad.

  I was saved from answering, however, by my Aunt rushing into the nurse’s office, followed by the flustered school secretary. My aunt could be a worrier.

  “Lake!” she exclaimed as she bounded forward to grab me in a hug. “What happened, why did you faint? Are you okay? Let me look at you. Hold still!”

  I never moved an inch but my aunt was far from rational right now. She would make an incredible mother, but she never had children or a man in her life despite the fact that she was beautiful in every way.

  She looked a lot like my mom, her sister – blonde with blue eyes, long legs, great body and personality. She was also one of those Star Trek geeks who liked anything sci-fi. I guess that's why she is a best-selling fantasy fiction author. I was proud.

  We’ve grown close after the disappearance of my parents ten years ago after…well it happened during that summer. I don’t know if they are dead or if they abandoned me. My aunt is adamant that my parents would never leave me willingly. It hurt either way. They were gone. Just like that, out of thin air. I found out a month after the playground incident. It had been my birthday and we’d just left the doctor’s office after an X-ray for my arm.

  I had been unconscious for two days and suffered a broken arm after he pushed me off the monkey bars. It was pretty harsh stuff for an eight-year old. I never said a word and neither did anyone else. The adults pretty much assumed I fell off trying to help Buddy. I wonder even now how he could hold so much power at a tender age, but I’ve learned over time and after years of torture that there was nothing tender about him.

  Focus.

  “Honey, they want you to speak to the school counselor,” my aunt said but it was more of a question than a statement. Despite our closeness, I never told my aunt anything about what happens to me within these halls, outside these halls, in my nightmares, in my dreams. Knowing my aunt she would move us away and I couldn't do that. My aunt loves Six Forks. She says it inspires her. Whatever that means. I just know I couldn't take that away.

  So I endured.

  Ten long years of endurance and then it would be over and I could finally breathe and finally live, without fear, without control, without desire for the dark and unobtainable.

  Yeah, not going there.

  Mrs. Gilmore had arrived and immediately introduced herself to my aunt and me. I already knew who she was but we had never crossed paths before. Like I said, I’ve endured.

  “Why don’t you two follow me to my office so we can talk privately?” I wasn't ready for this but what could I do? I needed to know what I said while I was unconscious.

  “Willow, why don't you go ahead home? Thank you for staying with her but I’m sure you parents are worried by now,” my aunt suggested. I’d forgotten Willow was here. She nodded and smiled nervously at me. I smiled back but didn't have anything to say, at least not with present party involved.

  Mrs. Gilmore led the way to her office as we followed silently behind. You can do this. We reached her office and went inside. I took a moment to look around. Her office was homey although a bit messy with papers and files strewn everywhere. My hands were itching to straighten up her office or point her in the direction of the nearest office supply store for a better filing system.

  We each sat down and just looked at one another, not sure how to proceed. My aunt was the first to speak after a few moments of tense silence. “Principal Lawrence said she talked while she was becoming conscious?”

  “Right! Yes, people sometimes do as they regain consciousness, but in this case it was the nature of what was said.” It took everything in me not to scream for her to spit it out when she fell silent again. “You said…” The more her cheeks colored the more dread built in the pit of my stomach. I swallowed deeply and waited. “Well you said,” she continued, “Master can’t come back.”

  Silence.

  Complete and utter silence filled the room once more and only I could hear the deafening roar of mortification and feel the room spin. It had grown so quiet you could hear a pin drop…down the hall. This can’t be happening. I must have repeated that a million times in my head and few times out loud.

  But it happened. I knew it did. My body was wound tight, so tight I thought it might break. Not if my mind did first, I admitted. My aunt’s gaze was locked on the counselor. I knew it wasn’t what she was expecting the counselor to say. Neither did I. Mrs. Gilmore clapped a hand over her mouth as if she couldn't believe she said it either. Join the club.

  “Are you…are you sure that’s what she said?” my aunt asked.

  “Ms. Anderson I understand your doubt as the situation is a tad disturbing,” she responded. Yeah, no kidding. “But Coach Lyons was quite sure that was what he heard her say.”

  Coach Lyons was the male team’s basketball coach and one of the school’s gym teachers. He was also a fan of my tormentor who also happened to be the team captain until he left last year. I’ve never had any issues with the man, but he never cared about anything except making sure his star player stayed happy.

  “I have to ask…is there any trouble in the home?” My aunt’s back straightened at the counselor’s question and implication. I guess she didn't know that my aunt had a temper when riled, which wasn't often but when provoked, even I ducked for cover.

  “Excuse me? Are you implying that I would actually hurt my niece? Are you insane?” she yelled. “Let’s go Lake, my right hand is twitching.” She stood up to go and Mrs. Gilmore quickly tried to recover the situation.

  “Ms. Anderson, please. It is only a routine question we have to ask. This doesn't have any personal bearing on your ability as a guardian. Please, sit down,” she pleaded.

  Aunt Carissa still looked as if she might jump the poor counselor so I decided to speak up. “Mrs. Gilmore, my aunt is the best parent I could have asked for. There isn’t anything she wouldn't do for me. I am completely safe with her.” My aunt’s expression softened from my reassurance.

  Situation saved.

  “I didn’t think so,” the counselor replied. She gave Aunt Carissa an apologetic smile and we turned to go, but her next question stopped me in my tracks. “One more thing…”

  I turned back around to face her again. “Yes?”

  “Does this have anything to do with Keiran Masters returning next year?”

  Chapter Two

  “I swear I didn't say anything,” she told me for the hundredth time. I wasn’t home long before Willow arrived at my house for details. I wasn’t eager to relive the humiliation but my inquisitive friend wouldn't let me die alone. Dramatic much?

  I thought back to the moment she asked me about him, and mentally patted myself on the back for the lame excuse I gave Mrs. Gilmore after she dropped that bomb back at her office.

  “I don't know what you mean Mrs. Gilmore. He and I have never had any association with each other. I hardly know him. I must have simply overheated and fainted.”

  That wasn’t entirely untrue. I felt my body warm even now thinking about him. Sometimes it was too much. “I believe you Willow, you don't have to keep reminding me,” I laughed.

  She sat up on my bed and stared at me for a moment chewing on her lip again. That meant Willow was thinking and Willow thinking is not a good thing. “So what are you going to do?” she began. “I mean, you can’t stay in the house all summer and we have to go back to school in three months.”

  “I don't know,” I answered truthfully. I wasn't foolish to think that just because he’s been gone for almost a year that the affect won’t be the same. Maybe he won’t be interested in tormenting me anymore. I can hope.

  Willow didn't stay much longer and left after assuring herself that I was okay. I welcomed the chance to be alone and prepared to take a shower for the night. My aunt had already gone to bed. I guess she didn’t know how to deal with the situation. I could understand. She didn't ask too many questions for which I was grateful.

  I gathered my favorite pink sleep shorts with dancing t
eddy bears and the matching top and headed to the bathroom. Despite my aunt’s success, we lived modestly in a three-bedroom, two-bath home. It was two stories high with a nice sized back yard and pool. For my sixteenth birthday my aunt bought a car for me, but Willow and I carpooled, switching turns every day. We’ve been inseparable since we met, despite what occurred that day, although I think she feels guilty for some reason.

  I gazed at myself in the mirror as if the reason for the past ten years was within the glass. I was tall with too-long legs that made me feel awkward, especially around other girls who were short, like Willow. My blonde hair fell to the middle of back and I kept china bangs because of my mom. She always liked my bangs. My eyes were blue but in the right light they appeared almost green. My aunt says they’re turquoise. I was lean and tone in the right places thanks to yoga. I wasn't much of an outdoor person so I was kind of pale, but it didn't bother me. Willow liked to joke that I looked like a Barbie ballerina and was such a girl at times.

  I didn't know how else to be. I am me. I wasn’t perfect though, not even close. I was diagnosed with dyslexia at a young age when it became apparent that I was having trouble learning by text. And to break out of my “good girl” image, I got a navel ring a few months ago. I convinced Aunt Carissa to let me get one after many weeks of begging. In the end, she agreed because she didn't want to tempt me to sneak off and get one so she went with me. The silver lucky charm ring that I currently wore was my favorite.

  I quickly ended my perusal and hopped in the shower, eager to end my drama filled day. Who knows…maybe I won’t even run into him.

  * * *

  Someone was laughing at my expense. Not literally, but even if they were, I was used to it. “Shit bro, I’m out of condoms,” I heard a voice announce.

  I know that voice.

  It wasn’t the voice, but I knew it and I knew who usually followed. I held my breath; waiting, hoping, praying that I wouldn't be caught, that this wouldn't be the aisle. I was in the local pharmacy picking up my favorite shampoo and did a quick look around. My focus zeroed in on the topic item and I quickly hurried to grab what I came for, but time and circumstance were not on my side.

  Bottles of shampoo and conditioner came tumbling down as I knocked my hand across the shelf. It was like a domino effect as I watched them fall, a few bursting open and splattering my legs and sandals. Seriously, who put condoms and shampoo together anyway?

  For a moment, I considered leaving them to run off, but a misstep landed me in the slick mess across the tile just as a tall form turned the corner, entering the aisle. I reluctantly looked up as the younger, more volatile Masters stopped in front of me.

  Keenan.

  He was almost an exact replica of my tormentor, except his face didn't hold the same hard lines, giving him a more boyish, youthful appearance that his cousin lacked. Sometimes I couldn't believe that they were cousins and not brothers. He was gorgeous, if not more than his older cousin.

  Keenan kept his dark hair stylishly spiked and always appeared tousled as if he was constantly running his hands through it. Or some girl, I thought wryly. It was no secret that Keenan was the school whore even though he was exclusive with Bainbridge hottest, most popular girl. She was also a cheerleader. They were the typical teenage couple; hot, popular, and shallow.

  His eyes zeroed in on me and paused to take in my situation. He was probably thinking up his best one-liner for a girl in distress but when he recognized me, a malicious grin slowly spread across his face.

  Shit.

  “Bro, get over here…this is going to top your fucking day,” he called out without looking away from me.

  I moved to get away but Keenan decided to taunt me further—“Oh no baby, no need to move…you’re already in position to greet my cousin properly.” His voice was cold and dripping with venom.

  I felt my face burn from embarrassment. I was currently bent over on all fours and quickly looked down to use my hair as a shield.

  Run Lake, just run, I pleaded with myself, but I was too afraid to move – caught like helpless prey waiting for the predator to sink its teeth in. I was partially surprised at Keenan’s words. While he never went out of his way to be nice to me, he usually ignored me. He idolized his cousin and so Keiran’s beef was his, but his reaction towards me just now was new.

  Great. Another fan.

  Another form, this one taller, suddenly turned the corner, and a large pair of black, leather sneakers immediately stopped in front of me. I slowly raised my head. Some unforeseen force had taken control as my will and common sense fled.

  My gaze passed over long legs that I could tell were muscular even through black jeans that hung low over his hips. He was bigger than I remembered—taller and more defined. His body looked hard and lean under a black Five Finger Death Punch T-shirt that hugged this chest and biceps.

  Any hope that our separation would diminish the effect he had on me, disappeared once I finally met cool grey eyes. He looked the same as he did a year ago except his previous shaggy black hair was now cut short. His jaw was also stronger and his face more angular.

  Our first reunited moment told me everything I needed to know – he still hated me. Those beautiful eyes never lied to me. Even when his lips said I was nothing in the past, I’ve come to know his eyes well.

  I couldn't do this. It was too soon.

  Maybe if I disappeared quickly, I could escape with my feelings intact. With my new plan in mind, I jumped to my feet, forgetting about the slippery mess under me and I was falling again. This time, I crashed into his hard body. My humiliation just wouldn't end.

  “Oh look Keiran, she fell for you. Was it love at first sight?” I heard Keenan’s snide voice somewhere off to the side.

  I closed my eyes, wishing for the ground to open up and swallow me but then I felt strong hands grab me. They felt large and heavy against my frame and I bet if I looked down his hands would completely circle my waist.

  I sucked in a breath, prepared for him to shove me away in disgust or anger but it never came. Confused, I chanced a look up at his face. He was standing at least six inches taller, the top of my head reaching just under his chin. My hands were planted lightly on his chest while I stared up at him. The simmering heat in his eyes that threatened to boil over made me think that he was having the same reaction I was. But that couldn’t be right. Not when he despised the very fact that I even breathed. I know because he told me so almost everyday for the last ten years.

  There was anger in his eyes, but there was also…confusion? I could understand my own because we’ve never been this close, never before touched like this. I could smell his scent as it washed over me—strong, male...virile. It was an aphrodisiac. His eyes lowered with what could be mistaken for lust, but I knew better. This was the beginning of a verbal attack; I recognized the signs over the years.

  He leaned closer, his hands tightening around me while he inhaled deeply. “Fuck,” he growled, speaking for the first time since he entered the aisle and came back into my life. His voice caused my body to tremble as always. Or was I just shaking in fear? I couldn’t tell the difference.

  Keiran turned his head to his cousin, still holding onto me. “Leave,” he directed to him. Keenan slowly straightened from the shelf he was leaning against, and left with a smirk.

  He watched his cousin walk down the aisle until he turned the corner and only then did he turn his gaze back to me, letting it pass over my body slowly. He looked as if he’d been starving and I was his feast.

  Definitely not ready for this.

  He looked around quickly but no one else was around. The only employee in the store was probably still outside smoking a cigarette, I thought grimly.

  Suddenly he flipped me around until I was pressed against the shelf. I froze but then came to my senses and tried to push myself off, but he was quicker. He grabbed my hands with one of his larger hands bringing them up over my head. I felt his chest press against my back as he leaned in close to
my ear.

  “I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I would do once I caught you alone.”

  I tried once again to free myself, anger rising that he was holding me against my will… in a pharmacy of all places. I’ve allowed Keiran to torment me over the years, but I promised myself that I would never allow him to touch me or physically hurt me again.

  His arm wrapped around my waist as I continued to struggle frustration building inside me as he locked my body to his. I finally found the courage to speak. “Let me go or I’ll scream,” I threatened. He chuckled, but I had the feeling he didn't find the situation humorous.

  “Yeah?” he taunted. “Scream and I promise you I will make your life a living hell; the shit I’ve done to you before was child’s play. I can give you much worse and shatter your perfect, porcelain world and you will know real pain. Scream.”

  The force of his threat shook my body, his words coming out viciously and I felt his grip tighten further. I hoped I wouldn’t find bruises in the morning.

  “What do you want?” I asked, although, I was pretty sure I knew what it was. This wasn't everyday bullying. He was after something. So I waited, anticipating his response. I felt his body tense right before he flipped me around to face him again, our bodies now aligned while he still held on tight.

  “I’ve watched you…” He leaned closer, our lips touching lightly in an almost kiss. I felt a warm hand slide beneath my dress and stop just before my thigh. I suppressed a moan, surprised at the quick reaction of my traitorous body. “I’ve watched you and I’ve studied you,” he began again, breathing deeply. “I memorized you. I know what makes you hurt…I know what makes you sad…I know what makes you cry. But all your deepest fears, I will know. I’ll take your so-called strengths and I’ll make them your weaknesses.”

  If Keiran scared me before, he terrified me now, I admitted with a tear burning a hot trail down my face.