Fear Me

by B. B. Reid

  I tried to look at it from his point of view. He lost a year of his life to the system. It was a year he would never get back, while the drug conviction threatened his future because nothing stayed completely buried. Add in the humiliation of a public arrest it would be enough to piss off a nun. I understood why he wanted revenge, but threatening the life of my aunt was unforgivable. She was innocent in all this.

  When his car stopped, it snapped me out of my thoughts and I realized that we were in my driveway. He didn’t shut off the engine and I was relieved. I couldn’t handle anymore of Keiran today. After his party came to a screeching, violent halt, he had come back upstairs and untied me. He then ordered me to “get the fuck out” and I would have went running for the door but I had to remind him that he drove me here and I couldn’t call Willow because he sabotaged our friendship. So here we were.

  I touched the door handle to get out but stopped and stared out the windshield instead. I took a deep breath and made a decision.

  “It was wrong,” I began. He turned to face me, with his eyebrows raised. “You had a good thing going. You just made captain of the basketball team – rumor was that scouts were already looking at you pretty heavy. It was the end of junior year, and you were supposed to graduate last year. You should be in college now surrounded by an endless supply of hot girls. You wanted a future. You hoped for a future.”

  I looked at him finally – he looked like he was contemplating something as he rubbed his bottom lip with his finger. I couldn’t help but to track the motion, watching his finger sweep across. His lips were plump and kissable and I was suddenly jealous of his finger.

  “You were innocent. I know that but not because you believe I framed you, but because if you had done it, then this –,” I gestured between the two of us, “wouldn't be happening. You would have accepted the consequences even if someone did tip the police.”

  I felt the weight of his stare as silence filled the air in the close confines of the car. It became almost unbearable after a few minutes of waiting for him to say something so I gave up and reached for the door handle again, having said my piece.

  “What makes you so sure?”

  I turned back to him confused. “Sure about what?” Was he trying to say he was guilty?

  “That we wouldn't have happened.”

  His question immediately pissed me off. I knew it was just another tactic to get into my head. “Are you suggesting otherwise, because the past ten years says different.”

  “You aren't as blind as you pretend to be, Monroe so cut the bullshit. You come apart when I touch you without hesitation…naturally…as if the past ten years says different.” He emphasized the last part and I flushed thinking about the classroom and the memory of his mouth devouring me.

  “Exactly. Naturally. It’s pure biology.”

  “You mean biology made you like me fucking your mouth like that?”

  “No, but desire has nothing to do with hate.”

  “Doesn't it? You forget – I was there that day in the hallway when that limp dick kissed you.” I remembered that day. Keiran had effectively ruined my first kiss and chance at a love interest.

  “What does that have to do with anything? How do you know I didn't kiss him?”

  “You didn't kiss him back.”

  I didn’t say anything because he was right. I hated that. I didn’t kiss Peter back. I consented to it but lost the desire to once his lips were on mine. I even remember counting the seconds until it was over and even feeling grateful that Keiran had found us and ran him off.

  “So?”

  “So you would have felt desire for him. Desire isn't based on biology and I think you know that. It starts here,” he tapped my temple before trailing his fingers down my body slowly, “before it reaches your sweet spot.” I was sure I was flaming red by now.

  “I don’t hate you,” I whispered rubbing my sore, red wrists. Bruising was already forming and I wondered how I could hide it from my aunt.

  “Not even after what I did to you tonight?”

  “I don’t know how I feel about that.”

  “But you are afraid of me.”

  “And so you believe my fear sparked sexual desire for you?”

  “Something tells me you came to this conclusion already.” I shook my head in denial not wanting to admit how right he was. “Monroe, you don’t desire me because you fear me. You desired me long before I gave you a reason to be afraid.”

  I shook my head again abruptly. "Impossible –”

  He blew out a breath in frustration. “How? You've been eye fucking me since puberty. I've noticed you Monroe – beyond the taunts and the rumors I spread, I've noticed you. You wanted me. You still do.”

  “It's impossible because I've been afraid of you since I was seven years old.”

  * * *

  It was just after midnight when I finally walked inside my house. I thought about the last thing I said to him before he said good night, abruptly ending our talk. I must say that I didn't expect his reaction. He all but kicked me out of his car and sped off before I even reached the door.

  So much for chaste kisses on the doorstep. Not that I wanted to kiss him or anything.

  After a hot shower, I was turning down my blankets for bed, cursing Keiran the whole time, when I heard a noise. It sounded muffled and far away so I quietly moved to the bedroom door and peeked around the frame.

  My door was the closest to the stairs so I saw a light that I didn’t remember turning on. I creeped down the stairs slowly, praying there wasn't a creepy burglar in the house. My aunt was too much of a pacifist to keep a gun in the house, not that I knew how to use one. How hard could it be, though? You just point, shoot, and hope the wrong end isn’t facing you.

  I was halfway down and finally convinced myself it was nothing, when the light suddenly turned off. The only thing that could be heard after that was the wild beating of my heart as it dropped to the pit of my stomach. Calm down, Lake. The power must have gone out.

  I looked back up the stairs to see light still shining from my bedroom and my body went cold. I’m talking Arctic cold, people. I knew I needed to call for help but was too afraid to move, fearing that I would alert whoever was in the house by some small noise.

  I knew Aunt Carissa wouldn't be back this soon without telling me first, so this had to be a break-in. I tried to recall if I locked the door but I couldn’t remember a single thing past that light turning off. Finally it came. The sound that confirmed someone was in the house with me. It sounded like footsteps, hard and heavy. There were only two and then it stopped.

  The foyer? The Kitchen?

  They were the only two places in the house besides the bathroom that would produce the sound of footsteps that loud. I grabbed some balls by the skin and slowly began backing up the stairs, careful not to make a sound. I almost made it too but the sudden sound of my cell phone ringing from my open bedroom door broke the silence. Keiran had given it back to me when he kicked me out of his car.

  Shit.

  I broke out into a run, not caring about keeping silent any longer. I made it to my bedroom and locked the door just as the ringing stopped. I ran over to my nightstand and snatched my cellphone up. It was a missed call from Willow. I hit the phone icon to dial the

  police and a second later there was a thump on my bedroom door. Followed by a series of thumps that became more forceful. Someone was trying to break down the door.

  The operator finally came over the line. "Please, somebody is in my house," I cried. Suddenly the thumping stop and I could hear the sound of footsteps again. I gave the operator my address and sunk to the floor in relief when the door rattled and I felt my heart stop altogether.

  "Go away, I called the police!"

  “You did what? Open the door!” I heard a familiar angry voice boom from the other side of the door. I was too terrified to move so I sat there on my knees, clutching my phone and wishing the police would hurry.

  “Why are you
doing this?” I asked in a gut-wrenching sob.

  “Doing what? Open the door!” He continued pounding on the door until a crack split the wood. I jumped and began screaming at the top of my lungs.

  “Leave me alone, please!” Keiran had almost succeeded breaking the door down when I heard additional footsteps running up the stairs.

  “Police!” I heard the voices on the other side of the door instructing Keiran to place his hands up.

  “Ma'am, it's Officer Reynolds and my partner, Officer Burkes. You can open the door now. We have him restrained.”

  I sat there numb for a minute before I finally stood to my feet and opened the door. An officer was standing on the other side. He looked familiar somehow but I couldn't place him. The other officer was leading away a handcuffed Keiran, who was silent as he was taken downstairs.

  “Are you okay, did he hurt you?” Officer Reynolds asked.

  I found it hard to speak so I shook my head. “We need you to come down to make a statement. Do you have someone you can call?”

  “My aunt is out of town but I can call my best friend. Can it wait till morning, Officer? I can't do this now.”

  He hesitated before asking, “How old are you?”

  “Eighteen.” He nodded before leaving. I sat back on the floor once they were gone and cried until I had nothing left.

  * * *

  Pepé was curled comfortably in my lap as I sat in Willow’s bedroom staring out the window. He must have sensed something was wrong because he hasn't left my lap since I got here. He was usually finding places to conquer and items to steal. I was pretty sure he already ran off with my keys as usual, before he came back to cuddle with me. He was probably ensuring I wouldn't search for them, which was the reason for his unusual cuddling.

  “Are you going to tell me what is wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost or something.”

  I took a deep breath before answering. “Keiran broke into my house and –”

  “Oh my gosh! What? Where you there? Are you okay? Say something!” Willow had jumped off her bed and ran over to me shaking my shoulder.

  “Willow, I'm okay for now but I won’t be if you keep shaking me. You'll give me whiplash.” She looked apologetic before releasing me.

  “Sorry. I knew something was up between you two. It wasn’t adding up and by the way I didn’t buy that, ‘I don’t want to be friends with you bullshit’ for a second, but tell Keiran I said “nice try”.

  “Willow, about that, I’m sorry I –”

  “Don’t worry about it. I figured the only way I could help you now was to play along until you talked to me. So, what happened?” I ran down the story ending with the police arresting Keiran. “Wait…you said you were on the stairs when you heard the phone ring?” She was frowning now and I figured she was just upset.

  “Yeah, what –”

  “And you already saw the light cut off and footsteps downstairs before your phone rang?”

  Yes. Willow –” She interrupted again holding up her hand to silence me.

  “When you reached your room and grabbed the phone, I was the missed call?”

  “Yes,” I stated simply knowing she didn't expect more than that.

  “The only missed call?” I nodded this time, not bothering to say anything.

  “It couldn't have been him.” I gave her a puzzled look and she explained. “Lake, I passed Keiran coming home from work. I stayed late to help with inventory.”

  “Yeah, I told you, he dropped me off late after the party.”

  She shook her head before stating, “I saw him turning down your street and that's when I called you. I figured he was coming to your house due to your recent “relationship”. I wanted to know what he was doing coming by so late.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively but I only gaped at her as dread gut punched me and caused my head to swim. I leaned over placing my head between my knees, pissing Pepé off. He jumped off my lap and scurried out the room.

  “Oh God. Oh no,” I chanted, rocking back and forth.

  “Lake, no worries. We just go to the police and clear him.”

  “No, you don't understand.” I sat upright and looked at Willow with tears in my eyes. “He'll kill her.”

  * * *

  Morning came and I had little sleep. I tossed and turned all night keeping Willow awake as well since we shared her bed. I didn't rush off to the station knowing the damage was already done but I didn't delay it too long either. I went home to shower and dress. Since I didn't know who the intruder was, I gratefully accepted Willow and Buddy’s offer to come with me.

  Thirty minutes later I made my way to the station with Willow. She was still spooked over my confession last night. I regretted saying anything immediately but I knew the damage was already done when she freaked. I blew off her questions and went to bed. She has been giving me the silent treatment since then.

  We arrived and entered the station hearing loud voices. The scene that greeted me immediately made me want to turn and run.

  “You pigs just haven't had enough. Where is he? You don't have shit –” He stopped when he saw me, his eyes narrowed as they pinned me to the spot. Willow and I instinctively took a step back.

  Dash shook his head before running a hand down his face. “You didn't have to do this, Lake. He never would have –”

  “We don't have to explain shit!” Keenan roared, interrupting Dash.

  “Young man, I need you to contain yourself before I throw your ass in jail along with your cousin.”

  Sheldon burst through the door as the officer was reprimanding Keenan. “Keenan, stop being a douche. We don't know what happened,” she scolded.

  “She's right, son. Settle down,” an older man stated.

  “She won't get away with this Mr. Chambers. Not again.”

  “Guy, you seriously need to chill. She's not after your precious cousin so settle down so we can do what we came to do.”

  Willow had just laid down the law and if this were any other situation I would have found it amusing. Just then an officer came through with Keiran who looked tired in his rumpled clothing. He walked up to the desk to sign papers and collect his belongings. We immediately made eye contact and everything from last night came rushing back. I was so sure it was him that broke into my house to scare me.

  “You are free to go, Mr. Masters.”

  I frowned not understanding how he was already free to go. It was my understanding that they could hold someone for forty-eight hours without charges. Keiran was only here for eight. Don't get me wrong. I wanted him released but I hadn't even cleared him yet.

  “Yes. We apologize for the misunderstanding Mr. Chambers.”

  “Can you believe this? As far as they know, Keiran broke into your house and they just released him because Dash’s old man pulled some strings? Unbelievable,” Willow whispered.

  Mr. Chambers turned to me, sizing me up. “Think carefully about what you are about to do Ms. Monroe. You won’t succeed a second time.” With that they left the station and I began to breathe easier.

  “Officer, I would like to make a statement to clear Keiran Masters. He was not the one to break into my house. I brought a witness to testify to that.”

  The officer gave me a stern look before directing us to fill out the necessary paperwork. After heavy questioning we were able to leave the precinct. Willow kept glancing at me during the ride to school and I knew she was concerned.

  “Lake, are you going to be okay?”

  This turn of events definitely didn't look good for me. If I thought Keenan’s reaction was bad then, I knew Keiran’s would be ten times worse. “I don't know.”

  * * *

  We made it to school in time for Volleyball so we headed straight there. I didn't see any sign of Keiran when I arrived so I assumed he’d already went to class. I still had to face him at lunch so I wasn’t out of the water yet. I used the physical demand of Volleyball to distract me from the mental stress.

  The class ended too q
uickly though and before I knew it I was dressed and biting my fingernails. I was expecting Keiran to pop up at any moment to terrorize me and hurl threats but he never came. Lunch was halfway over when I gave up on waiting. I headed to the cafeteria in search of him and found him seated at his normal table…with Anya in his lap.

  The jealousy I felt was misplaced and I reminded myself that I wasn't his girlfriend and made my way over to his table. “Hey. I uh…waited for you back at Volleyball.”

  Anya looked up at me and giggled, then whispered something behind her hand to Keiran. He smiled at her then kissed on her neck to which she began to moan. He ignored me completely so I looked around the table. Keenan was glaring at me while Sheldon looked at me apologetically.

  “Look, about last night and this morning, I –”

  “Monroe you seem to think we have something to discuss. We don’t. You seem to think we are in a relationship. We aren't.”

  “It was a misunderstanding, but you won’t get into trouble. I cleared things up.”

  He looked at me with his signature blank mask before stating, "You're free to go."

  “Bye, Lacy,” Anya stated snidely. Everyone at the table erupted into laughter at her purposely mistaking my name. I ignored her cattiness and left the cafeteria.

  I knew what he really meant with his last statement. He no longer wished to deal with me, but what did that mean for my aunt? I know I should be happy but I wasn't. I felt empty, like I just lost something. It was the same feeling I had when my parents disappeared. I shook my head at my stupidity.

  I can't lose something I never had.

  * * *

  “Lake, wait up!” I heard Sheldon call out to me but I kept walking. I didn't want to interact with anyone associated with Keiran right now. “Lake, stop. I swear I'll body slam you if you don't stop running from me!”