Choices will Destroy (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 14)

by Morgan Kelley

  “This isn’t over!” Cannon yelled. “I’m going to get my sister’s daughter! I’ll file an injunction!”

  He was out the door.

  Elizabeth moved toward him. “Chris, let me look at your nose.”

  “Forget it,” he said, wiping the blood on his sleeve. “I’m fine. I need to put Bethe to sleep.”

  He picked her up and carried her toward the stairs.

  “Ethan.”

  “I’ll go.”

  He grabbed Charlie, and headed after him.

  Elizabeth stood there. She didn't know what to do. A part of her wanted to rage around the room, but she knew it was useless.

  Instead, she headed toward the couch.

  In the silence of her own living room, she let the walls down, and she wept. She cried until she nearly made herself sick. When she felt fingers on her shoulder, she saw Wyler sitting down beside her.

  “Oh, Dad,” she whispered, right before he pulled her into his lap and let her cry. “I fucked this up,” she mumbled as he kissed her on the forehead.

  “This is not your fault.”

  It sure felt like it was.

  Her heart hurt.

  “You need to stop crying, please. I need to tell you a story.”

  Elizabeth stayed there, her head on his shoulder. “Okay, I’m listening.”

  “A medicine man once told a story. He was sitting in the smoke lodge, communing with the spirits. One of them came to him, trying to trick him.”

  She played with one of his braids.

  “He came to him as a duck, but smelled like a wolf. The medicine man fell for his ruse, and when the spirit got close enough, it devoured his soul.”

  “Dad, this story sucks. I like ducks.”

  Ethan and Callen stood at the stairs listening.

  “Bear with me, sweetheart.”

  “Okay.”

  “The other elders came, hearing of his demise. They had no sympathy for him.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he trusted his eyes and not his gut. He should have known a duck wouldn’t come to him. People are chased by the things that haunt them. They are seldom what they appear.”

  She waited a minute. “Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, but I don’t get it.”

  “The obvious is always the way. He didn't want to see the wolf. He only wanted to see the duck. Think about what chases you, Elizabeth. You already know who it is.”

  He pulled a pouch from around his neck and dropped it over hers. “You need this. Watch your back. You’re my favorite, so don’t forget it.”

  She sighed. “I’m glad I have you, Dad. When my father died, I thought I’d have a hole. You filled it. Thank you.”

  He kissed her on the cheek.

  “Again, you’re wrong, raven. You filled the hole in me. You filled a hole in all of us.”

  With that, he motioned to his sons. Elizabeth was falling asleep on his lap. When Callen scooped her up, she tried to focus. “I have to work.”

  “You have to sleep. We’ll work for a while.”

  She let it go. She felt like shit, her body ached, and she was having contractions. Maybe, they were right.

  She would lie in bed and work it out in her head.

  It wasn’t like they could stop her.

  Elizabeth didn't protest as Callen carried her upstairs. Once in their room, she stripped out of her clothes, pulled on a t-shirt and pajama bottoms and slid into bed.

  She was worried about Chris, but there was nothing she could do about it. She had to give him space.

  He needed it.

  And so did she.

  After all, Elizabeth was plotting a murder.

  Downstairs, Callen sat beside his brother. They were going to go over a few things while Elizabeth rested.

  “We have to find Carol Spade.”

  “We found her,” Ethan offered.

  “What?”

  “She’s dead.”

  Callen stared at him. “I didn't see that one coming.”

  Yeah, neither did he.

  Blackhawk told his brother everything. Maybe they should have told Elizabeth before she slept, but then she’d just work. So, it would wait.

  “We need to figure this out. We don’t have much time, Callen.”

  He agreed.

  The two men got down to work, pouring over the tech reports that Gabe’s team was sending. There had to be something in it.

  There just had to be.

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  Washington DC

  Hoover Building

  Livy was perplexed.

  She’d pulled every case file she could think of where there were stray blonde hairs. She’d run searches, and now she was about to pick apart Agent Case’s life.

  They’d worked together, but she really didn't know much more about him, other than he and Jay Melrose were an item.

  There might be something she had missed, or that was what she hoped.

  She wasn’t a big proponent to ‘the gut’, since she was more logical, but there might be something to it. The first two killings were Feds, and she didn't think that was a coincidence.

  Chris Leonard’s wife was an agent at one time too.

  That seemed, suspicious.

  Elizabeth had felt like they were getting inside information from the FBI to find out about the killings she’d worked, so there might be something there.

  It was a matter of digging.

  When her husband came in, he was carrying a pizza and a bottle of wine.

  “Dinner?”

  She pointed at the booze. “Uh, drinking in the Federal office building? Isn’t that illegal?” she asked.

  He laughed. “Uh, head Fed. I have dignitaries and presidents here. I have bourbon and Cuban cigars in that cabinet. That doesn’t really apply to me. It’s more don’t ask and don’t tell. You scrubs—yeah, you can’t drink at work. I can, and I do.”

  She laughed. “I’d love some dinner.”

  He sat on the floor beside her, opening the box. “What are you working on?”

  She took the pizza he offered. “I’m starting to search through the victims’ past.”

  “That’s a good place to look.”

  Yeah, she thought so.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  He glanced over at his wife. “Yeah, what?”

  “Are you really glad I’m coming back to work?” Livy asked. “I mean, really?”

  He laughed. “Okay, this is a loaded question. If I say yes, you’ll accuse me of lying. If I say no, you’ll be pissed. I know, for a fact, there’s no answer to this question that is going to keep me in our bed and not riding the couch.”

  “How about the truth?” she asked, taking the wine he handed her.

  “Well, I guess I’m happy, but I’m also worried.”

  “About?”

  “Oh, I don’t know…you getting killed, hurt, or raped.”

  She stared at him.

  Gabe never said the word. He avoided it at all costs. In fact, she was sure, before this moment, that he would have swallowed his own tongue before saying the ‘R’ word.

  “I know that worries you.”

  He laughed. “I worry about the President firing me. I am terrified you’ll be hurt. There’s a big difference. Chris Leonard’s wife died today. She was killed, and that resonates with me.”

  “Oh God! Poor Chris!”

  He told her everything he knew.

  “That’s horrible.”

  “Exactly. That’s my point. No one saw that coming, and still it happened.”

  “I believe in you, Gabe. I know we met and there was this wild ride, but I got to know you. I trust your choices. I know you’re good at your job.”

  “And?”

  “I need you to believe in me.”

  “I do. If I didn't, I wouldn’t let you out on the streets. You have to get ready for qualifications, but I know you’ll pass. I believe in you too.”

  She
leaned over and kissed him.

  “I still want that twenty year old hussy fired.”

  Gabe laughed. “What do I get if I can her ass, or move her to a different department?”

  “What do you want?”

  “I want more of what happened in here today.”

  “Really? I thought you were going to be mad. You love your job and respect it. I thought I was crossing a major line.”

  He thought about it. She had a point. This place was sacred to him, but there were things she didn't know.

  “Can I be honest and share something?” he asked.

  “Always.”

  “I want my wife to be wild and like she used to be. I want her to live on the edge, even if it terrifies me. Everyone looks at me and sees a stoic wall. I hold everything up, but I’m not supposed to have feelings or needs. It’s far from the truth.”

  She touched his arm. “Gabe, I know you have feelings and needs. I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel like you don’t deserve them.”

  “It’s not you, per say. I just know how everyone looks at me. I’m Gabriel Rothschild, and I don’t laugh, I don’t live, and I don’t do anything but bleed for my office. For once, I want to live on the other side. I want to experience all the things every other man does. I look at Ethan, and I know he’s serious, tough, and like me, but he has Elizabeth. She gives him a breath of life. That’s what I want.”

  She felt his pain. It must be tough to be seen as emotionless, unfeeling, and someone who isn’t ‘alive’.

  “I want you to treat me as if I’m just a man. It reminded me that there is fun out there. When you cut loose in here, it reminded me that I’m not just Director Rothschild. I’m Gabriel. I’m Livy’s husband. It was nice.”

  She’d never heard him say that before. Livy always assumed he liked being the most powerful man in Washington, next to the president.

  She held out her hand. “You have a deal, Director. Rothschild. I can do that.”

  “I’ll hold you to it, Special Agent Rothschild.”

  He kissed her, and she tasted like wine.

  “For the record, I transferred Paulina today. She’s moving to another office.”

  “You didn't have to do that, Gabriel.”

  He laughed. “Oh, hell yeah, I did. This isn’t my first day at the wife rodeo. ‘Fine’ is bad. ‘If you say so’ is not good, and ‘you didn't have to do that’ is one level above nuclear holocaust.”

  She snorted. “Yeah, you’re right.”

  “Let’s get back to work.”

  She grabbed a file and began reading. All the while, she was thinking about their future.

  And if she could pull it off.

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  Fort Whitefox-Blackhawk

  She couldn’t sleep.

  When the men came to bed, it was late. Unfortunately, when they had tried to get comfortable, it woke her up. Once that happened, she began thinking about the case.

  Well, that and Chris.

  She was going to make herself some tea, but when she came down the stairs, Elizabeth could see him sitting in the moonlight on the couch.

  His hair was a mess, his eyes were rimmed with red, and he was a wreck.

  “Christopher?” she called.

  He didn't move.

  “Are you okay?”

  “No, I’m not.”

  Elizabeth crossed toward him and took a seat on the couch. She wanted to hug him, but he looked angry. Instead, she bode her time.

  “I couldn’t sleep. I stared at Bethe for a while, but it made me want to cry even more. I lost everything, Elizabeth. I don’t have any baby pictures, I don’t have her umbilical cord, and I don’t have her mother. It’s all gone. I feel so alone and lost.”

  She hated that he was hurting like this. “I have all the pictures you made copies of for me. I also have pictures of her umbilical cord. I can give them to you for Bethe. We can remake all the baby books.”

  He glanced over. “Can you give me my wife back?”

  Tears filled her eyes and spilled over. “I can’t. I wish I could, Chris, but I can’t do that.”

  He sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m just scared, angry, and bitter. I know you’re trying your best.”

  “Do you need a hug?” she asked.

  Chris glanced over. “Yeah, I really do.”

  Elizabeth gave him one. “I remember all the times I was hurt, and you and Tony would show up. It was like you knew I needed you guys.”

  He laughed. “You got shot at a lot. We used to take bets on how many stitches you’d need.”

  She was well aware.

  “I was actually talking about my heart. Every time it was dinged up, you were there, and you let me sleep next to you. You protected me when I was too weak to protect myself.”

  He recalled. “A lot has changed.”

  “No, it really hasn’t. Do you want to lie down with me? We can stay here for as long as you need.”

  He thought about it. “I don’t want Ethan and Callen to get mad.”

  “Trust me. They won’t.”

  She waited until he was ready. Chris rested on the couch, and Elizabeth moved into his body. They tucked each other into position.

  “One of us got bigger,” he said, as Callen’s child rested against him.

  She pinched him.

  He laughed.

  It sounded so foreign.

  “I don’t know what to do. I can’t rebuild that house, Lyzee. I just can’t do it. Any place near here is going to hurt for the rest of my life. I’ll see it and think about her. Plus, Cyra’s family hates me now. Cannon didn't like me before, but now he’s going to be gunning for me.”

  “They don’t hate you. They’re just angry. They lost her too. In time, they’ll heal.”

  “Still, I can’t…”

  She gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I understand. You don’t have to explain.”

  They didn't talk for a little bit. This was so familiar. It felt right. This was the core of their friendship.

  “Chris?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I have a confession.”

  “What?”

  “Before Cyra called me to take you back, we were leaving. When you walked away, I didn't think I could bear to see you every day and know our friendship was over.”

  He listened. It astounded him how astute she was. Elizabeth knew that he was going to run from her to ease the pain. Fate was a bitch. Now he only had her to help push it back.

  “We accepted jobs in DC. Ethan was going to be Deputy Director under Gabe. He got a promotion.”

  He realized what she was saying.

  “You’re leaving me?”

  She didn't even get to say anything. Instead, he began weeping. It was silent, but his body shook.

  “Please don’t. Let me finish.” She wiped his tears. “I said he WAS going to be. We decided, once you were coming back, that we wouldn’t leave. I’m allowed to pick my own team, and I knew Tony and Jaxon would come. Agents Madden and Seaton wanted to go too.”

  “I see.”

  “I couldn’t do that to you. Cyra’s family was here, and she wouldn’t want to leave.”

  “I don’t understand,” he said, wiping his eyes.

  “We were going to stay for you. I couldn’t leave you. You’re my brother. We decided if we all didn't go, no one would.”

  His heart skipped. “Ethan would give that up for me?”

  “Yes, because we love you.”

  “And now?”

  “Can I be honest?”

  “Yeah, you can.”

  “I’m burned out here. I’m sick of the paperwork, sick of the babysitting, and I miss being an agent. That’s who I am. I want to go back. I need a change. I think now you do too. I would really love for you to move back with us. I asked Doctor Legend if he wanted to join my team and be my ME, but I don’t think he’s up for it. Even if he is, we can always use two ME’s.”

  “If I don’t go?”r />
  “Then I don’t go. We’re like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”

  “Uh, are you one hundred?”

  “You prefer I say Bonnie and Clyde? Remember that case?”

  Yeah, he did.

  “I guess why I’m telling you is because you can’t bear this part of your life here in Damascus, so I’m willing to give you our past. We had good lives in DC. I’m willing to offer that back up, so you can heal.”

  They did have good lives back there.

  It was a part of his life that made him happy. Now, he would never find peace here. He would be haunted by the woman he loved.

  He would be haunted by her death.

  Still….

  “Can I think about it?”

  “Sure. Sleep on it,” she said, yawning. The thumping of Chris’s heart was lulling her to sleep.

  As she started drifting, Chris was thinking.

  There was nothing left for him in Damascus. It would be too painful to stay. If he went, Bethe would have a family. She’d have a safety net with built in friends and family.

  Wasn’t that what he wanted?

  Needed?

  As he listened to her breathe, he could hear the stairs creaking behind him. Glancing over, both Ethan and Callen were standing there.

  “Uh, this isn’t what it looks like,” he offered.

  “It looks like you’re resting on the couch with a woman who calls you brother,” Ethan said.

  Chris didn't speak.

  “It looks like you’re being comforted by your family,” Callen offered, moving the coffee table.

  Chris watched as the two men leaned against the couch, resting their heads on Elizabeth’s side.

  Then Callen took Chris’s arm, the one beneath Elizabeth’s head, and let it fall across his chest.

  “We have your back, Chris,” Ethan said, placing his Glock on his lap. “You’re safe, and so is your daughter.”

  Tears filled his eyes.

  “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank us. You’re her brother. That makes you ours now too.”

  Chris closed his eyes, and for the first time since losing his wife, and finding himself alone in the world, he was calm.

  He could do this.