Rebel Custody

by Sarah Hawthorne

  “Come on.” Joan took my arm. “Why don’t you get some sleep on the couch, and then you can see her first thing?”

  Fuck, it felt nice to have Joan fussing over me—just like my mom would have at home. Miri was safe. The blanket was tucked in, and I crashed out.

  I woke to the sound of a door closing. It was Miri; she was awake.

  “Cher?” I whispered. It was her shadow; I could tell by the cloud of hair.

  “Jean Luc?” she said into the darkness. “Is that you?”

  “Come here, cher,” I said, lifting the blanket. “Come sleep for a while.”

  The couch was narrow, but we made it work. Miri’s back was plastered against my front. There wasn’t much room for me to move, so I pressed my lips to the top of her head as I smelled her hair—like flowery soap, and mine. I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep.

  When I woke up again, Miri was still asleep. The security guard was making coffee in the kitchen. I didn’t want to let him know I was awake. I wanted this little private moment with Miri all to myself. But then she groaned and snuggled farther into my neck. She’d rolled over at some point, and we were now facing each other.

  “Morning,” I whispered, careful not to be too loud.

  “I think it’s afternoon,” she said, trying to snuggle deeper under the blanket.

  “How are you doing?” I asked. “I know yesterday was hard. Did he hurt you?”

  “He didn’t hurt me.” She looked up at me and smiled. “I had my knight in shining armor to rescue me.”

  “More like your knight in shining handcuffs.” It was my worst fear about our relationship—having her watch me get arrested. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m fine.” She kissed my neck.

  “Miri, look at me,” I said, pushing her away just a little, so I could see her eyes. “That happens sometimes.” I frowned. “The cops don’t always care that we’re the good guys. I thought you’d be a lot more upset over it all.”

  “I got it wrong too.” She shook her head. “You’re not who I first assumed you were. I can’t fault those police officers.”

  “Do you still want to give us a try?” I asked. “Even after seeing me get arrested? I still have assault charges pending.”

  I held my breath. Our last moments at my house were simply agreeing to attempt to have a relationship. I didn’t want to pressure her, but I needed her to know the truth. It wasn’t over between me and the local cops.

  “Yes.” She giggled a little bit. “I don’t care. I love you, and you did the right thing. Not everything in life is black-and-white. I know that now.”

  I leaned down and kissed her forehead. Should I tell her that I loved her? Should I tell her that ride up to the cabin was the most terrifying of my life because I thought she’d be dead by the time I got there? She seemed well-adjusted, but would my confession be too much for her? I needed to wait, maybe tell her later when I was sure she could handle it.

  “Cher.” I kissed her nose this time and sat up. “I need to get going. I need to pick up Christophe—he’s still at Adam’s place—and then we have a big meeting for the club. There’s a party afterward, so I’ll try to skip that.”

  As much as I wanted to stay here and just hold her, I had obligations. Tonight was the final patch-in party with the Horde. We’d completed our probation and were full patch members. Any other night, I could blow it off, but not this night. Besides, she was safe and under the protection of her father’s bodyguards. Pete was in jail and would be there for a while. She had her mom and roommate for company. I could justify it all I wanted, but I still felt like a fucking ass. I wanted to be with her.

  “Party?” she asked, reluctantly sitting next to me on the couch. “Can I go?”

  “You want to go to a party at the clubhouse?” I felt like I’d been hit upside the head with a board.

  “Shhhh,” she hissed. “Charlie will hear you.”

  “You were kidnapped and nearly raped yesterday,” I reminded her, trying to keep my voice low. “Are you sure partying with a bunch of bikers is what you need right now?”

  “I just thought it might be fun.” Her face fell, and she twisted her hands in her lap. “The other guys will be there, right? The ones who helped you with Pete? I’d like to say thank you, and you said we were going to give things a try, and I thought that might mean going to a party at the clubhouse—”

  “Cher...” I brushed my fingertips on her cheek until she looked up at me. “I’m an asshole. If you want to come to the party, I’ll introduce you to the whole club. Okay?” I searched her eyes, hoping this was what she wanted. “You can tell the guys thank-you and hang out as long as you want. But you went through some pretty big shit yesterday. As soon as you want to go home, we can. You just say the word if it gets to be too much.”

  “That sounds perfect. I’ll see you tonight.” She grinned. “Give me a kiss before you go.”

  I kissed Miri until someone cleared their throat. It was the bodyguard, Charlie.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I muttered. I kissed the end of her nose. “I gotta go.”

  By this time, the whole house was up. I said goodbye to Joan, Charlie, and Miri’s roommate. They all waved at me from the door as I rode away.

  * * *

  I made sure Christophe could stay at Adam’s house for another slumber party and told them it was a family emergency. The family emergency was that I had a date to a party. As soon as Miri was feeling up to it, I wanted to stay the night at home in my own bed. I wanted to wake up and read the paper with her on the couch while Christophe watched his superhero cartoons. Maybe the three of us could go wander down to the creek with a fishing pole. I wanted a day of doing nothing.

  I laughed at myself as I rode toward the clubhouse. I was getting fucking old, and I liked it. The last thing I wanted to do now was party with strippers and drink until I forgot about everything. If only I could fast-forward through the whole night, I would press play when Miri and I got home and were able to relax.

  People were already starting to gather at the clubhouse. There were a few girls from Jiggles already there. No drinks yet, though. We’d break open the bottles after the meeting.

  “Hey, man.” Colt came over and sat next to me at the bar. “I heard what happened. How’s Miri?”

  “She’s fine. She’ll be here later tonight.” I shook my head. “Can’t believe she doesn’t want to take it easy tonight, but she’s determined.”

  “I know how that goes.” Colt laughed. “Sometimes there’s no stopping Krista. I’ve learned not to even try.”

  Tate walked across the room and disappeared down the hallway. That was our signal that it was time for chapel. When everyone filed in and sat down, Tate banged his gavel and brought the meeting to order.

  “First order of business,” he began, “I’d like to congratulate Skeeter, Rip, Crash, and Roach. I think you guys set a record for fewest hours set in jail. You didn’t even stay overnight.”

  Everyone cheered. Most of the time, cops saw our cuts, and if we got arrested for anything, it meant a really long stay in the city jail. We’d spent most of the day and evening, but we were out same day, thanks to Miri.

  Tate went through our earnings as usual—our money laundering with the casino, our import vehicles with the sports cars, and the various legit businesses Tate had going with parking lots and towing around Tacoma. Everything was business as usual.

  “We’ll be getting a visit from California soon.” He looked around the room and waited for the bitching. There was none. “I expect you all to be friends and all part of one club. The deal with the Horde is done, and I expect you all to act like one club. Their connection to Englestein Law has been beneficial. Besides, how else would Skeeter have found a woman who actually puts up with him?”

  The guys laughed. Rip, who w
as sitting next to me, punched me in the arm.

  “All right.” Tate banged his gavel again. “Short meeting tonight.”

  Everyone spilled out into the bar area, ready to drink. Miri wasn’t there yet, so I went out back. I didn’t smoke anymore, but sitting outside getting a breath of fresh air was a habit that was hard to kick.

  Asia was out back smoking by herself. I thought about avoiding her, but then I remembered our last conversation. She wanted to be friends. I could do that.

  “Hey,” I said. I leaned against the railing on the side of the loading dock.

  “Oh, hi.” She smiled. “I haven’t seen you in a long time. Would you like a smoke?”

  “No thanks, I quit a while back.” I studied her. She was wearing jeans. I think it was the first time I’d ever seen her in something other than a short skirt. She was wearing less makeup than usual too. I scratched my head. Something else was different, not just the jeans and the lipstick. “Are you shorter?”

  “Yeah.” She laughed and hiked up her pant leg. She was wearing sneakers. “I’m changing my profession. No more stripper clothes and high heels, and no more tricks.”

  “Wow, that’s great.” I patted her shoulder. I was happy for her.

  “I’m going to rehab too,” she continued. She stubbed out her cigarette. “I’m clean now, but I really want to go to a program to reinforce the sober-living lifestyle.”

  That caught my attention. Asia had always been a cokehead when we were doing business. A couple of times, I’d tried to talk to her about it, but we just ended up in my room.

  “I actually came here to ask you something,” she said, taking a deep breath. “I was wondering if you’d be waiting for me when I get out of rehab.”

  “What?” Had I heard that correctly? “What do you mean?”

  “I dunno.” She shrugged. “I just wondered if you would like to go out sometime. You know, not as friends, but not as a client either. You were always so nice to me, I thought maybe we could try a date.”

  She was staring at me, waiting for an answer. I didn’t know what to say, so I just went with the truth.

  “I’m sorry, I just never thought of you that way.” Wow, that was shitty. I ran my fingers through my hair. “You’re a great girl, and any guy would be lucky to have you—”

  “Look, no problem. It was a long shot, anyway.” She grabbed her purse off the ground and threw it over her shoulder. “I’m gonna get going. Have a good night.”

  I watched her walk away. It wasn’t her usual hip-swinging gait that she used to entice customers. I was proud of her—she’d changed a lot. Getting clean was hard. I’d never been into the hard stuff, but I’d seen the effects on Delphie. I was glad to say goodbye to Asia. Not because I was happy she was out of my life, but because she was getting help.

  “Was that Asia?” Clint asked, walking up behind me. He lit a cigarette. “I didn’t think you’d invite her tonight.”

  “I didn’t invite her.” I shrugged. “She wanted more. I let her sleep over a few times, but she was just a quick fuck. Scratching an itch. It never meant anything. I didn’t realize it was more than just something casual for her.”

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Miri

  After Jean Luc left, I went back to bed. I woke up again around noon and realized I’d promised to go to the club party and had no idea what time it started. I called Krista, and she suggested I come over to her place and we ride over together. I only had one thing to wear—my black vest—so I wore that with a pair of jeans.

  “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Krista asked. “I feel like you should be at home recovering.”

  “You sound like Jean Luc and my mother.” I laughed. “Everyone thinks I’m so delicate. Pete attacked me, but I wasn’t raped, and I fractured my wrist is all.” I held up my little Velcro cast the hospital had sent me home with. “I’m not going to shrivel up.”

  “Oh, honey.” Krista gave me a big hug. “You’re a survivor. We all are. If you want to do a hundred shots tonight, I’ll pour them for you.”

  Untangling some of the black fringe that hung around my hips, I turned to examine myself from the back. It was somehow even sexier than the first time I wore it. My boobs were hiked up to my chin, and there was at least three inches of midriff between the vest and the top of my low-slung jeans.

  “Do I look okay?” I asked. “I want to make sure I blend in.”

  “Blending in is the last thing you want to do.” Krista winked at me in the mirror. “I think you’ll go down there with boobs blazing and knock him dead.”

  “All right.” I squared my shoulders. “I’m ready; let’s go.”

  The bar area at the clubhouse was packed. This was my first club party, and it was a hell of a lot different than family night. My outfit was downright conservative. Krista had slipped into a tiny skirt and bikini top. I was glad to be fully covered in long jeans, at least from the waist down.

  “Come on.” She pulled me close to her. “Let’s get you a drink. Help you loosen up a little.”

  We stopped at the bar and met up with Bettes, who seemed to be pouring whiskey for the whole crowd. “What’ll it be? Whiskey or whiskey on the rocks?” She grinned.

  I opted for a whiskey on the rocks. The black leather vest was getting hot. I leaned over the bar. “Have you seen Skeeter?” I asked.

  Bettes nodded as she poured the next round of shots. “He’s around somewhere.” She looked around. “When I see him, do you want me to tell him you’re here? Or do you want to surprise him yourself?”

  “I’m going to surprise him.” I gave Bettes my cell number. “Text me if you see him.”

  “Got it.” She handed me a glass. Two ice cubes and a whole lot of whiskey. I slugged a huge gulp. I was going to need the courage.

  After twenty minutes, I was ready to kick off my heels and die. My bra was soaked with sweat, and my toes were so pinched from Krista’s shoes that cutting them off seemed like a valid idea. I still hadn’t found Jean Luc.

  I collapsed on an empty bar stool. “Hey, counselor.” The guy sitting next to me turned. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

  He was familiar. Then I realized he’d been in the van the night that I climbed out my bedroom window.

  “Rip.” He offered his hand for a shake.

  “Hi. Nice to see you,” I said, shaking his hand. “Have you seen Skeeter, by any chance?”

  “I know he’s here.” He shrugged and took a sip of his whiskey. “I think he went out back for a smoke break.”

  “Thanks.” I frowned for a moment and then pasted on a smile. It was odd that Jean Luc went outside for a break when he didn’t smoke. I made a beeline for the kitchen. There was an exterior door that led to the loading docks out back.

  Stepping out onto the concrete pad, I couldn’t see anyone, but I could hear voices. I walked toward the sounds until I could make out what was being said.

  “I didn’t invite her,” Jean Luc was saying to Clint. “She wanted more. I let her sleep over a few times, but she was just a quick fuck. Scratching an itch. It never meant anything. I didn’t realize it was more than just something casual for her.”

  Stunned, I froze. Was that what he thought of me? He kept saying he wanted to try, I assumed he meant that was a relationship. Maybe that had been his way of trying to let me down? I had just been pushing a relationship on him when he didn’t want one.

  A high-pitched wail, like a dying animal, escaped my mouth.

  “What the hell was that noise?” Jean Luc asked. He stood and turned, and our eyes met. “Oh no—”

  I didn’t wait to hear his sorry explanation. I didn’t want to hear his pity. I knew the truth. Slamming into the kitchen door, I flew through the bar area at a full run. Guys moved out of my way as I hauled ass. There was nothing left
to do but get to my car, and I was going to do it as fast as possible. Halfway to the door, I yanked Krista’s shoes off and carried them in my hands as I continued to run. The asphalt hurt the soles of my feet, but my heart hurt more.

  “Miri, wait!”

  It was him. I stopped at my car and dug the key out of my jeans. My purse was somewhere up in Krista’s room, but all I needed was the key to get the hell out of there.

  “Miri, wait!” he shouted.

  He was still running across the parking lot. The entire party of bikers and women spilled out in his wake. Everyone wanted to see the show.

  “Let’s talk.” He had slowed to a jog. “You misunderstood.”

  The crowd that had gathered had probably noticed.

  “Talk?” I hurled a shoe. I owed Krista a new pair. “You want to fucking talk? Talk about how it didn’t mean anything to you.”

  The crowd laughed in the background, and he just stood there. “Look, let’s talk inside, okay?” He put his hand out to touch me.

  I wrenched my arm away and backed up. I needed to put some space between us.

  “Let’s just go somewhere that’s not here,” he pleaded, tossing a glance to our leather-clad audience.

  “Let them listen,” I ground out. I didn’t give a shit about the guys listening to our every word. I threw the other shoe. This time it hit his shoulder and clattered to the ground. He didn’t move. I still needed to know the answer. “Did I ever mean anything to you? Was I just a quick fuck?”

  “Dammit.” He stared down at the ground then threw his hands up in the air and yelled, “I love you, Miri, okay?”

  The crowd behind him roared and clapped.

  Hearing that he loved me was worse than what he’d said earlier. The asshole was just placating me. I was out of shoes and ideas. Shaking my head, I climbed into my car and slammed the door.