The Mermaid's Pearl (Tears of the Deep Book 1)

by Kennedy, Brooke

  “Where?” he demanded.

  “Out. For air,” I lied and wiped at the tears on my face.

  He paused, only for a split second at the sight of my tears, before stepping closer to me and placing his hand on my hip.

  “Air?” he asked, not believing me. He leaned in to let his breath settle in my ear, and my body betrayed me with shivers running down my spine. It wasn’t the response I wanted to give him, but it was automatic. His fingers dug into my hip as he spoke again. “Now, why don’t I believe you?”

  I remained quiet, trying to decipher what his intentions were instead of giving him more of a reason to be angry with me.

  “No answer? Very well then,” he said after several long silent moments. “I think, perhaps, this outing was a bad idea. I can’t have you running off on me now.”

  “I wouldn’t do that.”

  “No?”

  “No.”

  A throaty laugh erupted from Aiden as he leaned against me, pressing me into the brick wall. “Oh, Rae, must we really do this?”

  “Do what?”

  “Fight. Again. If you would do as you’re told, things would be so much easier.”

  He meant to do whatever he wanted in this ally while he was angry. We were in the alleyway where anyone could look to see us, and I would remind him of that if I had to. He couldn’t have his way with me here.

  Suddenly, I was scared. I saw the way he treated others aboard his ship, and I didn’t want to fall victim to his anger. Pushing his feet between mine, he moved my legs apart and aligned his body with mine. His touch always set me on fire. I yearned to close my eyes and reveal in it. Instead, I ran my hands up his body to rest on his chest, so I could set him straight.

  I had to regain control of myself. “You should know by now I do as I please.”

  “But sometimes you do as I ask.”

  “Because I’m trying to show you some sort of respect. You should do the same for me if you care for me at all.”

  “This again? You think you will tell me what to do? You’ve already made a fool of me tonight, after flirting with that townsman.”

  So, that was why he was so angry. He was jealous.

  “I wasn’t flirting with him. He was worried I was a captured princess, and I was trying to lead him off the trail. He was trying to protect me. I had control of the situation, or would have, if you hadn’t started acting crazy,” I explained.

  “I wasn’t acting crazy, lass. You let him kiss you.”

  My eyes grew devious as I looked back at him, recognizing the look on his face. “Why, Aiden, I believe you’re jealous.”

  “No, my dear, I do not get jealous. I have what is mine, and no one else may have it.” He laughed as if it was absurd, and I wanted badly to believe he didn’t care. It would make it easier for me to put things in perspective.

  He lowered his mouth to my neck and ran his tongue down to the hollow of my throat, sending heat down my body in the process.

  I tried to speak strongly and push the thoughts of letting him take me right there out of my head.

  “I’m not yours.” My fingers curled into his shirt. I had to fight his charms, remind myself I was upset with him for fighting at the bar. “You aren’t even brave enough to open up to me. Until then, I will never truly be yours.”

  If I hadn’t been sure he was very good at hiding his emotions, I would have been certain I saw an amount of pain in his eyes at my words. Still, his face stayed stoic as he tangled a hand in my hair. “Oh, yes you are.”

  “You’ve trapped me on your boat. That doesn’t mean I’m automatically yours, as much as you wish it did.”

  “Must I remind you just how much of mine you are? You weren’t saying such things during our night together.”

  Ouch.

  “Stop being such a—such a pirate Aiden. There is no one here to impress. Drop the tough guy act.”

  He curled his free hand into a fist and slammed it the wall. I cowered away from him as his fist collided in the spot right beside my head. I had been sure he wouldn’t hurt me, but the anger in his eyes now had me wondering. My heart pounded, and not in a good way. I didn’t move.

  Aiden took several deep breaths to steady himself before pushing off the wall and raking his hands through his hair. He appeared to be fighting with himself, an inner battle I couldn’t see, as he paced back and forth with a scowl upon his face. After a moment, he paused with his back to me and sighed loudly.

  His voice was a little softer now “Have you been playing me for a fool all this time?”

  What an odd question for someone who was acting insane all of a sudden.

  “No, I haven’t. You are acting like a mad man. You know I don’t play stupid games, not those you pirates do. You’ve had too much to drink and are choosing not to listen. That man was just trying to protect me, and I was just dancing. I care nothing for him.”

  When he turned around to face me, I forgot how to breathe again. The look upon his face was one of pure pain, not sadness per say, but something deeper. His eyes showed just how hurt he had been in the past and how untrusting he had become as a result. When Hayes had told me Aiden was hurt, those words didn’t even touch how deep the pain actually ran.

  Inside, I hurt for him, this pirate who ruled the seas, destroyed the lives of men, and did as he pleased. There was more to him than he’d ever shown anyone. Now, he was trusting me with his emotions.

  “Aiden,” I said softly and stepped away from the wall.

  He took a step back from me and shook his head as if he didn’t want me near him. I continued to walk towards him until I could reach out to brush his shoulder with my hand. I needed to be open with him, reassure him everything was okay, especially if I wanted it from him in return.

  “There was only one man at the tavern I was attracted to. Only one man I’ve ever been attracted to.”

  He raised a curious eyebrow, dark and beautiful, and I wondered if he was being honest with the pain in his eyes. No, there was no way he could fake it.

  “And who was that, milady?”

  “You, Aiden, just you.”

  As quickly as the pain was there, it was gone, replaced by something more certain and needy. He reached out to grip me around the waist, his hand pressing into the small of my back as he sealed his lips on mine. He pulled me to him, as close as he could get, kissing me desperately as if I was the last bit of sustenance on this earth. I kissed him back, tried to show him just how much cared about him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer. I needed him to understand. I didn’t want to hide it anymore. The smell and taste of peppermint and rum was beginning the feel like home to me. Nothing mattered anymore, not my fears or his. At that moment, it was just the two of us alone in the world, whatever oddity it was we had found ourselves in.

  He was the first to break the kiss, looking down at me with an adoration that filled my heart up to the brim. The way I felt with Aiden was unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and I needed to be honest with myself about what it could mean. I told myself repeatedly I was in love with Tristen. But never had being around him felt like this; never had one touch from him left me speechless or breathless, and my heart never raced at the sight of him nor this odd twisting of my stomach occurred.

  If Aiden could just open up to me, I might be able to let myself feel all the things I kept fighting off. I couldn’t risk my own pain if he wasn’t going to be honest with me. He was so close now; I could see it in his eyes.

  “Let’s go back to the ship,” I offered and held myself closer to him.

  He smiled devilishly at me and ran his hand down my hair. “What if I want you here?”

  “In the alley?” I asked for clarification, mortified he would even suggest it.

  “Would you be surprised? I am a pirate after all. Don’t you want to live a little?”

  “Aiden—”

  He laughed. “I’m just joking, lass. I would never do such a thing out in the open. Our time together
is sacred to me, and I do not wish to share it with anyone else.” He leaned his forehead against mine and sighed. “We need to go back inside, it’s almost closing time.”

  I nodded in agreement and he took my hand, but I wasn’t ready to leave. He led me back toward the tavern, but I wanted to continue our conversation. I had gotten my hopes up that he was getting close to letting me see those emotions that his eyes gave away. Maybe I was just kidding myself. It hurt to think I wanted him to feel the same as I did. I didn’t want our night together to be just that—one night.

  As we walked back into the tavern, I could feel the eyes of the crewmen on me. They were not happy to see I returned, and they were whispering among themselves. Whatever good feelings they had begun to acquire toward me seemed to be lessening. Aiden cast angry glances at them as we sat down at a table. The others sitting there got up and left, surely not wanting to risk angering the captain again. Frankly, I was surprised he was allowed back inside after the fiasco.

  “Keep your bloody antics down, could you?” he growled as he looked across the table at me. As hateful as his voice was, his eyes gave away his plead. He needed this from me. It was the first time he willingly showed me any kind of emotion in front of his crew, though it was subtle.

  “Yes, Captain,” I said with a knowing smile. To give him credit, I had caused a lot of trouble for him. Had it been any other princess, she would have cowered in the corner and did as he pleased, but not me. He had no idea what a handful I would be.

  We sat at the table and didn’t say much to each other. It was a nice change. His crew slowly joined us, all drinking their fill of rum and whiskey while telling tales of sailing on the high seas. They spoke of the lands they saw, the women they met, and the lands they pillaged. I loved every one of them and lost myself in their adventures. It made me long for adventure aboard The Devil’s Pearl, want to see the lands they spoke of and become a pirate, even though it could never happen. It was easy to see myself as a pirate as they spoke, but more Aiden-like than the rest of his crew, clean and well dressed. I let myself dream of it as they told their tales, pretend as they spoke, until the tavern owner called for last rounds.

  I followed suit as Aiden stood up to leave and tried to avoid the stares from the others. Some of the crew took a liking to me, some had not. I hoped our story-telling hour changed those things, but clearly they still did not trust me. I kept my mouth closed and stood close by Aiden as we walked, not being my normally bubbly and confident self for fear I would say the wrong thing. I wanted to try to give him respect, and gain the same from his men. I hadn’t wanted it before, but I found myself yearning for it now.

  As we stepped outside and began making our way towards the ship, the whispers started again. Then one man’s voice called out, “Aye, she is making the captain soft.”

  I reached out to grab Aiden’s coat to be closer to him. He gave me a small smile before glaring at the pirate who spoke. I hoped he never looked at me like that; it was terrifying. I could see he was trying to keep his cool and reassure me at the same time. It was different. He hadn’t done that before.

  Another spoke, “Aye, mate, she is. She will take us down with him, just as the other one did, she will. It’s not good to have a woman aboard the ship for too long, especially one who is bewitching the cap’n.”

  “Aye.”

  “Aye.”

  Aiden pulled me closer to him as we walked with his hand tight on my arm and a contemplative look upon his face. He would have to address his crew because he wouldn’t allow them to talk about him in such a degrading way. He was the captain after all. I could see the tension in Aiden’s jaw as he tightened it repeatedly, the way his hand kept roaming to the sword at his side. Still, his crew continued to whisper and mumble amongst themselves.

  Once we were all aboard the ship, Aiden began shouting angrily. “All hands on deck, you bilge rats!”

  Quickly, all conversation stopped, and the men gathered around the captain to listen to what he was going to say.

  I was surprised when Aiden grabbed me by the arm and stepped up onto a crate, straining my arm and gaining a cry of pain from me. He jerked my arm again to pull me up onto the small crate with him. I stumbled against his side, letting the confusion play across my face as I looked at him.

  “Now,” he started, voice low and menacing, “I will not have me ship mates talking disrespectfully about me behind me back. A pirate’s treasure is his own, and to show respect upon the ship, another pirate from his crew should not try and steal that from him. Am I right?”

  A cry of “Aye” and “Aye Cap’n” echoed throughout the ship.

  “If a fellow pirate should try and take treasure from him, the pirate who it belongs to has every right to reclaim his bounty, yes?”

  Another echo of agreement from the crewmen.

  “So then when your captain has taken a princess prisoner on his ship, she is therefore his bounty. And his property alone.”

  Every single good thing he’d said to me disappeared, replaced by betrayal and pain as he grabbed me by the back of the head, tangling his fingers in my hair. He gave me one of his charming smiles, but I glared back at him in hatred. How dare he talk about me like this in front of his entire crew when I was trying to give him respect.

  He threw his hand in the air and shouted, “Then let it be known this princess is mine, and no one else should touch her. If he does, I will gut him like a fish without a second thought. Understand?”

  The crew threw their hands in the air and began to shout in agreement. Cheers rose from them, satisfied at his words. It seemed as if they had waited for that moment, to have me put in my place.

  “Good, I’m glad we have an understanding. Your captain has not gone soft. He is having his way with the bounty until his reward is here, then we will be swimming in gold!”

  The crew continued to cheer as Aiden turned to me, eyes hard and cold. “Mr. Hayes, take her to my quarters.”

  “Yes, Cap’n,” Hayes said gladly as he approached the crate.

  “I hate you, Aiden,” I snarled as I challenged him, violet eyes set on his face to let the anger show.

  Tears began to swell up in my eyes, those of both anger and hurt. I had no control over them. His betrayal struck deep into my very soul. I thought we came to an agreement, that I cared about him, and he was opening up to me, but I had been mistaken. He was a charmer, and I meant nothing to him. I was a fool for thinking there was anything more to him than his looks and reputation suggested. The rush of new feelings had caused me to give in too quickly.

  “Don’t say that, darling,” he cooed and loosened his grip on my hair, trailing his fingers to my face and caressing my cheek.

  I jerked away from him and scowled. He laughed as he stepped off the crate. “Don’t be so angry with me.”

  “You better keep one eye open while you sleep tonight, Captain,” I threatened as Hayes took me by the arm to lead me away.

  The crowd cheered even louder. I continued to glare at him as we walked away, showing I meant business. With a weapon I had failed before, but he was just a simple man when he was sleeping.

  Aiden frowned at me as he watched. “I will join you soon.” There was a mixture of emotions in his voice, but I didn’t care enough to sort through them. I was done with trying to read his mind.

  Anger and hatred boiled within me, more intense than I had ever felt before. Embarrassment and shame mixed in with it to make me feel utterly helpless. I wanted to go home. This ship was not and never would be my home. When the full moon came, I would wish to be a mermaid, leave, and never come back. Never again would I think about Captain Aiden.

  “Milady!” Casey called from the crowd as he pushed his way through it. He was trying to get to me, but Aiden grabbed ahold of his shirt to pull him back.

  He shook his head at the boy, and Casey looked at me with his mouth turned downward. He held his hand up to wave.

  I gave him a half smile before following Hayes to the capta
in’s quarters.

  “Please, Raewyn. I know he has angered you, but I can promise you he cares for you. The cap’n just doesn’t know how to express himself, he doesn’t.” He continued to plead for me not to be angry at Aiden.

  No matter what excuses he gave, I simply couldn’t find it in myself to do so. He’d betrayed me, and he had a lot of making up to do if he wanted me to trust him again.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Let me in, Raewyn! This is my cabin.”

  I continued to ruin his room, throwing his things about and ripping up his papers. Tears stung at my eyes but I forced them back. I wouldn’t cry because of him. Laughing loudly, I started to pace the room, emotions flickering back and forth so quickly I couldn’t keep up. I’d had it with him; I just had to find a way to get out.

  “Raewyn…”

  The excited cheers and song of the crew flowed from the deck, still celebrating in honor of my misery. It had lasted for hours and started to get quiet. I hoped they would all pass out drunk soon.

  When I heard the rustling of the door, recognizing it as him picking the lock, I ran into the washroom and locked myself inside. I leaned back against the door and slid down to the floor.

  Aiden knocked on the door, his voice softer as he said my name. “Darling, please come out here so we can talk.”

  The gentleness of his voice pushed me over the edge. Large tears fell down my face as I pulled my knees up to me and buried my face in them. I didn’t answer him. There was nothing else to say to him.

  The door creaked, and I heard him mimicking my behavior—sliding down the door and sitting on the floor. His weight pressed into the door behind me, the sound of him hitting the wood with the back of his head.

  Neither of us spoke another word, just sat there in silence with only the door between us. He didn’t try to get me to open the door anymore, and he didn’t try to get me to talk to him. I let the tears fall, let all of the emotion out, but all I really wanted to do was have him hold me. I hated the thought that he had that much impact on me. My hand covered my mouth to hide my sobs.

  Finally, I heard the floor groan as he stood up, the pressure on the door subsiding. His footsteps echoed across the cabin, and then door shut. I let out a long sigh and wiped my eyes dry. Without him there, I was suddenly alone again in the world. A part of me was missing.