“I’m insistent on doing this because I can see how little you know about traveling. The wagon train is a very difficult way to travel, and it’s a treacherous journey.” Ronan’s face was full of concern, and that took Elise off guard. She wasn’t used to seeing worry on anyone’s face but her father’s.
“I can handle it.” Even Elise could hear the uncertainty in her own voice.
“I’m sure you think that. What if a wagon wheel breaks? What if the wagon train is attacked by Indians? What if you run out of supplies? What if a rattlesnake spooks the horses? What if a man tries to take you by force? Do you know what you would do?”
“I-” Elise stopped. She didn’t know what she would do. She’d thought of all those scenarios and more, but she had no idea what she would do if she faced any of those.
“I am not trying to make you feel bad. I am just trying to prepare you. The journey is one of the hardest to make, and it is a long trip. Even for grown men who have been on the trail before, it is hard. People die on the wagon train. Things get left behind, and there are other dangers. Bandits, Indians, thieves …” Ronan trailed off, and Elise wondered if it was because he could see the fear and panic in her eyes.
“I don’t need someone to take me.” Elise’s voice was lower than before, and her confidence was slipping.
“I know you think that, but please consider me accompanying you. I owe your father for what he did for me. Nothing has to change between us. I just want to make sure you arrive safely in California. You can still hate me the entire way if you want to.” Ronan took a step back and tipped his hat to Elise.
She watched him go, a bit dumbfounded. Did she hate Ronan? She would have liked to think so. In fact, if anyone had asked her before her father’s funeral, he would have been the only person she would proclaim to hate. The feelings swirling in her chest were confusion, hope, and trepidation. She didn’t know what she felt toward Ronan.
She was angry with him. She didn’t know if she would forgive him, and she certainly didn’t want him escorting her to California, but she wasn’t sure if she hated him. That shook her a bit. She remembered what her father had said, and a wave of guilt passed over her. Would he have been so unforgiving toward Ronan if he were alive? She knew the answer to that.
When Eddy came back, he didn’t mention anything about Ronan. He told her how much everything was, and Elise paid the money promptly. She then walked outside to see how the loading of the wagon was going. Men were finishing up putting the last barrel of supplies into the wagon.
A man from the blacksmith shop asked her to bring the wagon over to be fitted with a wagon cover. At first, she felt resistant to the idea, but she knew that Ronan had been right. Without a cover, there would be no shelter in a rainstorm, and all of the supplies would be wet.
Elise set her lips in a thin line. She was leaving for California in two days, and it felt like the world was coming to an end. How was she going to manage it?
Chapter 8
Ronan watched as Elise prepared the wagon in front of the hotel and then as she drove the wagon across the street to the blacksmith shop. She had managed to get things in order; he had to admit that. If she was going to make it to San Antonio in time, she needed to leave soon.
The sun was just coming up behind the hotel. But even so, Ronan had already packed all his things and was waiting outside, a bit off to the side of the porch with his horse.
Elise still hadn’t noticed him. When a frustrated and almost desperate look came across her face as she examined the horse closest to him, he stepped forward. He was going to help Elise whether she wanted him to or not.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
Elise jumped and straightened from her position of examining the horse. She looked like she was about to cry, and it made Ronan feel bad that he hadn’t been more insistent in taking care of the horses and wagon for her.
“She’s an old horse, but she was Papa’s favorite. I don’t know …” Elise trailed off. The concern and fear in her eyes were clear to see.
“Let me take a look.” Ronan stepped forward and ran his hand down the horse’s neck. He looked at the horse’s teeth and feet. She was right. It was an old horse. In fact, Ronan was fairly certain it was the same horse that Mr. Herrin had when he lived with him. “She is an old horse. I wouldn’t take her. It will be a long hard trip, and she might not make it.”
“I don’t know if I have enough money to buy another one and still have reserves for the trip. And I hate to leave her behind. I’m supposed to leave for San Antonio today.” Elise’s worry was clear to see, and Ronan was surprised that she was finally showing that she needed help.
She had been so careful to shield her emotions from him and everyone around her. He was fairly certain that the only thing that had changed now was the fact that she didn’t know what else to do but ask for help.
“You can take my horse. He’s strong. Between him and the younger one, you should be fine.”
“I can’t take your horse. You need him.”
“I am going with you, so it makes little difference.” Ronan moved forward and began to unhitch the older horse. “I’ll drop this horse off at the stables. They’ll pay something for her. And they will give her a job.”
“You can’t come, Ronan. You just can’t.” Some of Elise’s former resolve had found its way into her, and Ronan found himself slightly impressed. Or at least he would have been impressed if the thing she was insisting on was for her benefit instead of something terribly dangerous for her.
“I am coming. Elise, if I have to go and buy another horse, I will ride behind you till you get to the wagon train. Then I will continue behind your wagon all the way to California. I’m not going to take no for an answer. We can either work together, or we can try to fight the whole way. I know which I would prefer.” Ronan tried to keep his tone patient, but he did know they needed to go. It was getting late, and if they took too long, they would start their trip with the wagon train already being behind.
“Fine. Alright, you can come,” Elise said at long last. Her voice was low and dejected. Ronan tried to ignore the sting that it made him feel. It never felt good to be rejected by anyone, even if he was fully deserving of it.
“Hey. You don’t have to be so down about it. I promise I will be a big help on your journey. Don’t worry. You’ll be rid of me soon enough. I’m doing this for your father.” Ronan brought Mr. Herrin’s face to mind. He was doing this for that man. The man who had changed his life. It was his turn to pay back the favor by caring for Mr. Herrin’s daughter.
Ronan had finished switching the horses. “Why don’t you finish organizing things, and I will go and drop the horse off at the stables?” For a moment, Ronan imagined Elise taking off with his horse in an effort to leave him behind. But he had a feeling she was more willing to have him accompany her than she wanted to admit. And even if she did take off, he could still catch up to her if he wanted to.
It didn’t take him long to leave the horse at the stables. They gave him some money for the animal, but not nearly as much as she was worth. Even though she was in no condition to make the trip across the country to the wild west, she was still a good horse and could be ridden around town.
When he got back to the wagon, Elise looked nervous. She had left the seat to drive the team of horses vacant, and Ronan took that as an invitation to manage the horses.
He climbed up beside her and didn’t miss it when she scooted over just a bit to make more space between them. Ronan clenched his jaw and pulled the reins. It was time to get going. The horses had an easy time of it because the fact was that the wagon wasn’t too heavy, and there were only two of them.
But Ronan knew that even if it seemed the horses were fine then, they might not be fine later on. The wagon trail got bad in some parts, with challenging roads and steep stretches. Many people would take oxen, which could handle those stretches better. But oxen were also slower. There were downsides and benefits to bot
h types of animals.
“I- I’m sorry for being so rude to you.” Elise’s soft voice made Ronan’s shoulders stiffen.
“It’s fine; you have nothing to apologize for.”
“When we get to San Antonio, I can buy another horse. I’ll use the money I have. Then you can be sure I got to the wagon train and have a good team of horses, and you can go your way.” Elise was twisting her hands in her lap, a clear sign she was nervous.
“No. that won’t be necessary. I am going with you all the way to California. If you are very uncomfortable with my help with the wagon, we will see about other arrangements. But there is nothing you can say to keep me from following you to California and making sure you get there safely.”
“Why are you so worried about my safety now? It’s been seven years, Ronan.” Elise seemed to like to remind him of how long it had been since they had seen each other.
“I was always worried about your safety. A lot of things happened between then and now. I suppose now is different because I feel like this is the only way to start paying back the debt I owed to your father.”
“Why didn’t you come back, at least for my father? He loved you, you know.” Elise sounded sad, resigned.
Hearing that Mr. Herrin loved him made Ronan’s heart squeeze. He’d always known it, deep inside. But hearing it made it more painful. He had betrayed Mr. Herrin. He always thought he would have a chance to undo that damage, but now that time was gone.
“I didn’t come back because … I thought I still had time.” Ronan had so many more reasons than just that. He could talk about all of his reasons all day long, but they would never be enough.
Silence stretched between them; the sound of the horses’ hooves against the road seemed louder than they should be. The sun had finished rising, and it was now burning above them.
“You had time, Ronan. Why not come back in the last seven years? You would have known that my father was unwell, and his health was failing him. You would have seen how sick he was, and you would have been able to see how much he wanted to talk to you one more time.”
“How long was he sick for?” Ronan knew he had no right to ask about her father or what she’d been through in the last several years, but he had to know.
“Years, the last three years. I don’t know what it was. The doctors couldn’t tell me. He got weaker and weaker and thinner. Things became difficult for him. I tried to help with what I could. Sometimes he would get terrible fevers.” Elise shivered, but Ronan was certain it wasn’t from the soft morning breeze.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
“It wasn’t your fault. That part wasn’t anyway.” Elise took a big breath, and when she let it out, her shoulders fell, like she was letting a huge weight off. “I never thought he would get so sick. He was always so strong and in control.”
“I remember.” Ronan felt his lips turn up slightly at the memory. If he had to pick the strongest person he ever knew, he would say that it was Mr. Herrin. “He used to have everything figured out.”
“I can’t figure something out.” Elise’s eyebrows knit together; she tucked a light strand of hair behind her ear and peered over at him.
“What’s that?”
“Why did you leave? You seemed so happy. You seemed like you liked living with us. Why did you leave?”
Ronan swallowed hard. He wasn’t ready to talk about why he left, and he wasn’t sure if he ever would be.
He shook his head and looked down at the ground for a moment. “I had my reasons.”
The dark cloud that covered Elise’s face was proof enough that his answer wasn’t the one she had wanted to hear.
“How far is it to San Antonio?” Elise changed the subject, and Ronan felt a wave of relief. If she had pushed, he most likely would have told her everything.
“About two days. We’ll have to camp the night tonight, and then we will arrive tomorrow afternoon. The wagon train is scheduled to pass the next day, though I am sure they will be around San Antonio for at least two days. People will want to restock on supplies.”
“Do we have enough supplies for both of us? I wasn’t calculating for two when I bought them.” Elise’s cheeks burned a bright pink, and Ronan gave her a mischievous grin.
“I added enough for two. I figured you would give in and let me come.”
“You couldn’t have known that.” Elise’s bright blue eyes were suddenly determined and full of fire.
“I did know that, though you almost convinced me that you didn’t want me to come.”
“I did not want you to come.” Elise stared off into the distance, and for one moment, Ronan believed her.
But whether she wanted him to come or not, she needed him to come. Not only was it not safe for someone like her to travel alone, but he also couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to her when he could have prevented it.
He was going to see this trip through, and he wasn’t going to go back to his life until he saw Elise safely in her aunt’s arms, ready to start her life over in California.
Ronan adjusted his gaze to the road in front of them. It was long and winding and stretched on forever. He wondered how many days they would really be traveling together and what hardships faced them. He also wondered if he was right about Mr. Herrin. Would Elise’s father have wanted him escorting Elise to California?
There was no way for him to ask Mr. Herrin about his preferences, and Elise had made hers abundantly clear. Ronan only hoped that his determination would pay off, and he could make some dent on the debt he could never repay.
His mind wandered back to Elise’s question. Why hadn’t he come back? There were so many reasons why, but there were also reasons that he didn’t know himself. He couldn’t explain everything about himself or his motivations so many years before. He just knew that now he was doing what he thought was right, and that had to be enough.
Chapter 9
Elise stood by a large cottonwood tree and rolled her shoulders. She had imagined that traveling would be easy, pleasurable even. But it had been semi-miserable so far. She was hot and tired of sitting on the hard bench. There had been mosquitoes and biting flies in the areas with the thickest brush.
She hadn’t enjoyed much chat since after their initial conversation and a few moments of awkward exchanges, both she and Ronan had decided to keep to themselves.
She had found a few hours of solace by reading a book while Ronan took care of the horses and keeping them on track. But eventually, there was nothing to do but let numbing thoughts take over as the minutes ticked by.
When Ronan announced they had done enough for one day and said they should set up camp, Elise was too relieved to argue. She was starting to see why Ronan insisted on coming with her. They had been riding in this desolate stretch for hours. The thought of being alone in the dark night out here made her tremble. She didn’t necessarily enjoy Ronan’s company, but somehow, he made her feel safer.
He drove the wagon off the trail into a grove of trees where they heard a nearby stream. The sun was low in the sky, so they set about finding wood and carrying water up from the stream right away.
Elise glanced over her shoulder at the camp she had helped Ronan set up. They had made a fire in the center of the clearing from the many dry sticks and bits of wood they had found lying nearby. They had surrounded the fire with stones to avoid it getting out of control. The wagon was nearby between the forest and the trail.
She was surprised when Ronan went out to the trail, erased the wagon tracks leading off the road, cut some pine branches, and propped them between the trees to hide their camp from the trail.
Elise hadn’t even started preparing their evening meal. Ronan said that she would sleep inside the wagon, and he would sleep beside or underneath it. He’d also mentioned that he would keep watch in case they had any unexpected or unwanted visitors. They were on the open trail, after all.
A Long Way to Love: A Historical Western Romance Book Page 6