Brad grinned and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Rachel’s waist. “We’re catching up.”
“I love your car,” Renee said in her smooth purr to Julian. They were standing next to each other now, and he put his arm over her shoulder. “And my car loves you. It’s been a while.”
“Yes it has,” she said, moving closer to him. I saw Jack’s eyes flick to them and then to me. I looked down at my shoes.
“Well, I’m not planning to race Brad,” Julian announced, straightening and shoving his hand in his front pocket. I saw the little dragonfly peeking out. “I was thinking we could take turns test-driving. See who’s the biggest puss.”
“I’ll come,” Renee smiled.
“Yes, you will,” Julian winked at her, and she laughed, hitting him on the arm. “I’ll pick you up for the game.”
“I’d like to see that,” Jack said, and I studied his face wondering why. He’d almost completely stopped joining us in extracurriculars now. “Go to the game with me, Anna?”
My mouth dropped open, and both Rachel and Renee’s eyes flew to me, waiting for my answer. I wasn’t super-confident in my “be strong” vow just yet, but I didn’t see a way out. I shrugged. “Sure.”
“You interested in a race, Silver Spoon?” Brad was super-cocky today, but for once it didn’t bother me.
“Jeeps are no match for Camaros,” Jack said distracted. I couldn’t tell what was on his mind, but he looked at me and smiled. “I’ll pick you up and we can go for a few minutes—just to see what happens. And then, whatever you want.”
I nodded wondering what that could mean, but I was determined not to be the one starting anything this time. Julian hopped up on the bench and leaned down to touch my nose.
“That cute little nose for news is irresistible,” he said. I batted his hand, but I appreciated the save. “Next story you can add professional driver to my list of awesome.”
“More like professional self-promoter,” I quipped back.
* * *
Friday, the whole school was energized, and everyone was preoccupied with the build-up to the game. Alumni and parents were in and out bringing snacks and helping put together the giant sign the football team would break through signaling the start of the event. When the last bell rang, we were greeted by the sight of booster Dads already parking their portable grills and smokers at the back of the field, preparing to make the hamburgers and food for the concessions stand.
Jack wasn’t at school, but he picked me up pre-game, and we both wore our school-spirit blue and white. I tried to appear calm and sophisticated, like I didn’t think anything of his asking me to go with him. But my insides were all mixed up.
I kept it together, and soon we were sitting near the 50-yard line with a good view of the field and the cheerleaders, including Rachel and Renee. Julian joined us, sitting on my left, and though he seemed unusually interested in my welfare, I also noticed him checking out Renee’s moves on the field. I told myself I didn’t really care what he did. Or what she looked like in her short blue and white skirt. I studied the game and not the confusion swirling inside me.
Brad was almost always on the field focused and in charge of the players. I’d heard talk of his being named All State for the year, and I secretly hoped all that physical exertion would leave him too tired for our little rendezvous on the old beach road. But I hadn’t counted on the adrenaline rush we all got when Brad, unable to find an open receiver, was forced to run the ball 50 yards to score the winning touchdown in the final seconds of the game. The fans went wild. Everybody was jumping and screaming, and after post-game interviews and talks, the six of us were headed down to the Gulf, windows down and music blasting.
The old beach road was an abandoned strip of highway cut off from its endpoint by one of the hurricanes, and the dark, sandy-shouldered asphalt was prime real estate for drag racing and all sorts of mischief. Jack and Julian had parked their cars with headlights blazing on Brad’s Camaro, and at the moment, they were too caught up in rehashing the game and praising Brad’s performance to drive.
“If you’d been in the game tonight, I wouldn’t have had to run it.” Brad said to Jack. He was still irked that Jack had resisted his pressure to join the team.
“Then you wouldn’t be the hero.” Jack smiled, patting him on the back.
“Hero,” Brad’s voice was sarcastic as he stretched his arms back. The light brown knit shirt he wore stretched tight across his muscled chest. “That’s how I’ll end up getting hurt. I don’t need to be a hero. I need a good wide receiver. We’d be winning every game if I had you with me.”
“I don’t have time for football,” Jack breathed, glancing in our direction.
So far our date, or whatever it was, had been strictly platonic. My heart had cooperated somewhat—only once had I been tempted to slide his shaggy bangs off his forehead. What might happen if he tried to kiss me goodnight was anybody’s guess, but I was mentally preparing to be strong.
I leaned on the front of the Jeep talking to Rachel while Renee danced to music coming from the car’s radio. It was some techno-rap dance song, and before long, I caught the glint of light off a flask in the cluster of guys. That sight made my shoulders tense, but I couldn’t stop them. My eyes strained for Julian in the mix. I didn’t want him to drive if he’d been drinking. Like he’d listen to me.
“Brad’s always so wound up after the games,” Rachel said. “And that was such an awesome game; he probably won’t even sleep tonight.”
“Mmm, lucky you,” Renee purred.
Rachel stretched her arms and yawned. “Lucky if we’re home before two. I wish they’d hurry up with this.”
“I can understand wanting to cheer if it’s for your boyfriend like that,” I said.
“Yeah,” she smiled at me. “Head cheerleader, star of the football team. I guess it’s kind of corny.”
Her voice was almost sad, so I smiled, hoping to be encouraging. “It’s a great memory, and it’s just the beginning for you guys.”
She gave me a little smile back, and I watched as Renee skipped over to the guys and then twisted a hip around in Julian’s direction. He winked and nodded at her. I wrinkled my nose in disapproval.
“You going to share some of that with me?” she said to the threesome. Jack stepped back, walking over to where Rachel and I were sitting.
Renee took the flask from Julian and ran her hand up his thigh as she flicked her hips again. Then she turned and danced back over to where we were sitting. He smiled and flipped at her short cheerleader skirt, and I decided I didn’t like Renee Barron as much as I’d previously thought.
“How’s Lucy?” I asked as Jack leaned against the Jeep beside me. I needed to distract my mind from worrying how I’d say goodnight to him and caring how Julian would say goodnight to Renee. Both concerns were in direct conflict with my “stronger me” plan.
“Working at the wildlife center has helped,” he said, resting his arm on the Jeep behind my shoulders, but still not touching me. “She’s found something that interests her.”
I wondered if he knew his sister had another interest at the center besides sea grasses and turtles, but I’d let him find that out for himself.
“I was so sorry she had that… trouble.” Rachel leaned forward to give him a concerned look.
“Thanks, Rachel. She liked the flowers you sent.”
“Want some?” Renee danced up and waved the flask under my nose. I noticed Julian following her. He slipped his arm around her waist from behind and snatched the flask from her hand. She squealed and laughed.
“No, she doesn’t. Do you, Banana-face?” His voice held a smirk that set me off for some reason.
I stood and snatched the flask from his hand and quickly took a big gulp faster than anyone could speak. Rachel laughed out loud, but Jack frowned. Julian just looked annoyed and snatched it back, walking away. I had swallowed too much. Tears were welling up in my eyes, but I was too proud to cough, no matter h
ow badly my throat was burning. I tried to swallow again, and I felt Jack’s arm go around my waist. He pulled me to the side of the Jeep.
“Something up with you and Julian?” His voice was soft.
“Nobody calls me that.” I strangled and finally coughed. Now I remembered why I didn’t like whiskey. “I’m sorry. I guess I just snapped. Can we go?”
“I’d like to hang around for a few more minutes. Just to see what they end up doing.”
I nodded, feeling warmth from my impulse-slug. It was making me a little nauseated. We walked back toward the group, and I saw Julian take a few more hits from the flask before tossing it to Brad, who did the same. Renee was still dancing around, and Rachel was looking at her watch.
“Let’s get this show on the road. I’m getting tired,” she said.
“Here, first let me show you how it’s done,” Brad said to Julian as the two climbed through the open windows into the waiting Camaro. Brad cranked the engine and gunned the motor a few times before squealing the tires and shooting off down the road into the darkness. My heart jumped at the loud noise.
“Brad just got that car and now he’s going to wreck it.” Rachel muttered.
“Doubt it,” Jack said. “He knows how to handle a car.”
We heard the squeal of tires and could see the headlights pointing back in our direction. Then it shot forward, coming at us fast. I couldn’t see what happened. It looked like something small ran into the road. The car swerved and hit the sandy shoulder before jerking back again. Then everything went into slow motion.
I could hear myself screaming as the hood of the Camaro dipped down and the back corner lurched up and over the front. The sound of metal slamming against concrete was louder than a bomb, and I threw my arms over my head as the car flipped twice before rolling to a stop.
My breath was coming in short gasps, and Rachel was screaming now. Jack was no longer at my side. He was running toward the upside-down car. We were all running to it, and then I saw Jack coming back, holding Rachel against him as she fought to get free. Tears were streaming down her face. She kept screaming Brad’s name, and I couldn’t stop shaking.
With his other hand, Jack touched his phone’s face, then I heard him speaking to paramedics. Renee was sitting on the road shaking and holding her knees, rocking back and forth and crying. Pain gripped my sides, and I thought I might be sick. One word kept repeating in my head—Julian.
“I’ve got to go home. I need to go home now,” Renee was saying over and over.
“Can you take the Jeep and drive Renee home?” Jack said to me. “I’ll wait with Rachel for paramedics.”
I nodded, but I was still dazed. I couldn’t breathe. I had to get to him.
“Julian,” I said. “Is Julian okay?”
“I don’t know. I can hear Brad making sounds; they’ll be here any minute. Anna, I need you to take Renee home. You guys have been drinking.”
I remembered what I’d done, and I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid. I must smell like a distillery. I couldn’t stay here.
“Right,” I said shaking myself. “I’ll take her home, and then, what? South County General?”
“I think that’s where they take everyone around here,” Jack said.
Rachel still struggled against Jack, but he managed to hold her and was attempting to calm her down as he walked her to Julian’s car. I crept away, going slowly to the flipped Camaro. Trembling, I got down on my hands and knees on the damp asphalt and leaned in, my cheek almost to the ground, trying to see anything. It was dark, but I could hear Brad making soft, groaning sounds. My throat knotted as tears stung my eyes.
“Julian?” I said softly. “Oh, god, Julian?”
No answer. I pressed my forehead to the asphalt the tears streaming down my nose. He had to be okay. That little voice I’d pushed down so long was screaming inside me. He couldn’t be hurt, he had to survive this.
“Anna, you’ve got to go now,” Jack ordered.
I lifted my head. Renee was freaking out. She had finally stood up and was now pacing. I nodded and rose from the ground, wiping my face with my fingertips as I quickly walked toward her.
“My dad’s gonna kill me,” she murmured. “I’ve got to get out of here. I’ve got to go home now.”
I grabbed her arm and dragged her to the Jeep. “Get in.” I said, shoving her toward the passenger’s side.
I climbed into the driver’s seat and slammed the accelerator down, determined to beat EMS to the hospital.
Renee didn’t say anything as I drove. She just shook and rocked in her seat. I cranked up the radio and tried not to think of Julian silent, trapped in that car. His art, his plans. I couldn’t think of him not being able to pursue his dreams, or worse. Never joking with me again, never touching me…
By the time we reached Renee’s house, I was almost in a panic myself. I didn’t even kill the engine as she climbed down and shuffled to her door. I pulled out of the driveway before she made it inside and sped back to the road.
The short drive felt like hours, and each red light lasted an eternity. There was so much traffic on the streets in Fairview, it felt like spring break. I wished I knew a back route to the hospital, and by the time I arrived, the boys were already in separate emergency room units with parents called.
Jack and Rachel had the details when I found them. Julian had taken the brunt of the accident. Brad was awake but being held overnight for observation. The doctors were concerned he might have a concussion.
Julian hadn’t regained consciousness at all. I thought I would throw up when I heard the words. I had to see him, to be with him. Rachel was calmer, knowing Brad was out of danger, and as the nurses prepared to move him to a private room, I heard his dad blustering down the hallway.
“Where’s my boy? Damned sports car. That piece of shit’s headed to the junkyard.”
Mr. Brennan’s way of filling a room made my stomach even more sick, but Jack stepped forward and shook hands with him, giving him the details of the accident. We didn’t really know what had caused it; he left out the part involving the flask, although I was sure the doctors could tell alcohol was involved. I had been popping peppermints since we arrived.
The three were slowly making their way down the hall in the direction of Brad’s new room when I saw Julian’s mom running toward me.
“Anna! Oh, my god! What happened?” Her face was ashen, and I rushed to her. “How is he?”
“I’m not sure, Ms. LaSalle. Jack and Rachel beat me here. I took Renee home.”
“Where is he? Who’s in charge?”
“Dr. Hayes?” I said unsure. “They have him in one of the ER rooms, but I really don’t know more than that. He hasn’t regained consciousness yet.”
She made a little noise, and her face went completely white. She seemed to be falling, but Jack appeared from behind to catch her.
“I’m sorry,” she said, grasping his shoulder and backing into a chair.
“Jack, this is Julian’s mom,” I said. “Can you tell her what’s happening?”
He told her what the doctors had said before I arrived. Julian hadn’t regained consciousness, and they were checking him for signs of serious internal injuries. Until he awoke and could answer questions, they were monitoring his condition. I sat next to Ms. LaSalle and put my hand on her arm as she breathed deeply.
“I’ll stay with you,” I told her. She nodded and rose to find the doctor.
Jack sat in her empty chair and took my hand.
“I’ll stay, too,” he smiled. “As long as you need me. I know you’re worried about your friend.”
I nodded and tried to smile back. “Thanks. For all of this. You’ve been so great, and I know you and Julian aren’t especially close.”
“Yeah, but Brad’s my friend, and I know you care about Julian. Besides, I’ve gotten a little experience with hospitals lately.”
I squeezed his hand and chewed my lip, watching the busy scene. My nerves felt totally f
rayed. I was worried, and I couldn’t stand not knowing what was happening. I wanted to go in and wait at his bedside—to greet his eyes when they opened, to know he was okay. I needed to be closer to him. My chest ached so badly just sitting out here. His mother was at the nurse’s station gesturing toward Julian’s room, and I turned to Jack.
“It’s okay,” I said, standing. He stood with me. “I’ll call you tomorrow and check in.”
His brow lined. “Sure?”
I nodded and stole over to where Ms. LaSalle was. The nurses argued with her, but they took her back to Julian’s room. No one noticed as I quietly followed them. Fewer people were scurrying around now, and I waited behind a curtain until everyone went back to their stations.
Inside Julian’s room, his mother sat at his bedside, holding his hand. I didn’t expect my reaction to the sight of him lying there, pale and lifeless with tubes and wires running toward him. My breath caught as tears flooded my eyes. Pain and fear gripped me hard, and my thoughts echoed his mother’s prayers.
“Oh, God, please. Don’t take him from me.” Ms. LaSalle wept. “He’s all I have.”
She put her head down on his bedside. I inhaled a shaky breath and walked forward slowly. I placed my hand on her arm. She needed someone right now.
“Julian is strong and healthy,” I said. “I know he’ll pull through. He has to.”
She nodded and smiled, sitting up and grabbing a tissue, trying to be strong. “I suppose I should be worrying about how we’ll pay for all of this.”
I leaned over and hugged her.
“Don’t worry about that now. Try not to think about it. Try to focus on him getting better.”
She relaxed some and placed her head against my arm, still stroking the top of Julian’s hand on the bedside.
“Want to get some coffee or something?” I said. “I’ll find you if anything changes.”
“I don’t know if I should leave him…”
“I’ll be here.”
She nodded and went to the door, and I was alone with Julian, listening to the beeping sound of the monitors and staring at his closed eyes. I looked at his dark hair and motionless body. Fear tightened my chest, and I said my own silent prayer. I leaned forward and slid my hand under his and held it.
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