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Sisters of Freedom

Page 28

by Mary-Anne O'Connor


  ‘Can you put the cake on for us, Nanny?’ Annie asked.

  ‘Of course,’ she said and the trio moved off to the kitchen to get it baking and make the tea.

  ‘So,’ Albert said, ‘how long are you in town for?’

  It was a simple question but a loaded one and Aggie awaited the answer with bated breath.

  ‘I’m not really sure,’ Riley said. ‘I need to understand what’s been going on with the girls first and discuss things with Ivy. It’s kind of an odd situation, and I’m sorry for the position we’ve put you all in,’ he added.

  ‘No, no, don’t apologise,’ Albert said. ‘Having three little girls in our home once more has been an absolute delight.’

  ‘Well, that’s good to hear,’ he said. ‘I knew from what Ivy had told me about you all that this was a safe and happy place to send them, although it was a huge thing to ask. I don’t know what Fiona was thinking really when she said we both should care for them,’ he glanced at Ivy, ‘but I think she just knew they’d be loved. Those were her last words, anyway. Love them, she said.’

  Aggie hugged the baby. Fiona certainly got her wish.

  Ivy nodded at him. ‘They are definitely getting plenty of that,’ she told him.

  Riley paused to gaze at Ivy, and Aggie read something in it again, despite her own fears, starting to wonder if Fiona had chosen these two people to care for her children together for more than one reason.

  ‘What are you planning to do?’ Albert said as Harriet returned with the tea tray. Her mother stood frozen as they all waited to hear the answer to that life-changing question.

  ‘Well, first of all, you should know that George, Fiona’s husband, is now dead.’ He said it without emotion and Aggie let that news soak in. She felt rather emotionless about it herself. A man like that didn’t deserve pity and certainly didn’t deserve his three precious daughters. She’d doubted the outlawed George was an obstacle in her and Robert’s quest to keep the girls, regardless, but it was good to know he never would be.

  ‘I’d say we’re sorry for your loss, however …’ Albert said, and Riley glanced at him grimly.

  ‘He’s a loss to no-one,’ Riley said, and Albert nodded.

  ‘Indeed.’

  ‘So that leaves us where?’ Albert said.

  ‘Well, that depends. What do you want to do, Ivy?’

  Ivy looked over at Aggie and smiled at her and Aggie felt a surge of love for her sister as she replied. ‘From the moment they arrived the children have been drawn to Aggie and Robert and I think that, well, the truth is …’

  Aggie closed her eyes, took a deep breath for courage and spoke up. ‘I can’t have children of my own,’ she said, opening them once more and clasping baby Ivy against her. ‘Robert and I, we love them so,’ she admitted as tears begin to choke her words. ‘We want them to be ours.’

  Riley looked at her, nodding slowly as he took that in. ‘But I still want to be in their lives.’

  ‘You can be. We all can, in fact,’ Ivy said. ‘Aggie and Robert are just down the road so they’ll not be too far from the river and you … and Patrick and I too. We’re moving in here while we build our house so … so the children will have so much love in their lives, just like Fiona wanted.’

  ‘I suppose it could work,’ he said as Aggie silently begged him to agree. ‘But it’s not exactly what Fiona asked for. She wanted them to be with you and … and with me.’

  Ivy stared over at him and there was so much emotion there Aggie feared the very worst: that her sister secretly loved this man and they would raise the three girls together, as his dying sister had requested. As a family.

  ‘It … can’t work that way though, can it?’ Ivy said.

  Riley stared back and for one terrifying moment Aggie thought he would say that it could.

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘I suppose it can’t.’

  ‘They will be very happy, having so many people care for them,’ Albert said, ‘but we would never keep them away from you, understand. They’re yours to visit whenever you wish it, or to visit you. We’d respect your sister’s wishes, of course.’

  Riley nodded. ‘Yes, I’m sure you will, and I suppose this is the best outcome for them. A dream life, really, having so many people spoiling them,’ he said, looking at Ivy one last time before uttering his verdict. ‘I agree.’

  Aggie nearly collapsed, so great was her relief, and Harriet managed to put down the tea tray to put her arm around her.

  ‘Thank you for this,’ Harriet choked as Aggie leant against her, the baby held close. ‘First you save our daughter’s life and now you give us grandchildren to love and Aggie … Aggie and Robert this chance to have a family.’ She shook her head, looking over at him with tearful gratitude. ‘You’ve changed all our lives forever, Riley Logan.’

  Riley smiled at her, looking back at Ivy once more. ‘And you’ve forever changed mine.’

  ‘I can ask our friend Douglas to draw up the adoption papers and make it legal,’ Albert said. ‘Should only take a few weeks. Are you planning to stay nearby?’

  ‘Most likely down on the boat,’ Riley said. ‘I hadn’t really thought about it, to be honest. I was in too much of a hurry just to get here.’

  ‘You must stay with us, at least until after the wedding,’ Harriet said, recollecting herself now and beginning to pour the tea. ‘We’ve an extra bed in the annex we’d be happy for you to have and you can spend some time with the girls.’

  ‘I’m not invited,’ he hedged but Harriet waved his objection away.

  ‘Of course you are. You’re part of the family now.’

  Riley’s eyes were on Ivy as he slowly agreed. ‘I guess I can, then.’

  And the look Ivy sent him meant Aggie couldn’t completely relax and believe the girls would truly be her daughters, knowing she wouldn’t rest easy until those adoption papers arrived and were signed. For love was a powerful thing, never more so than when dying wishes were made. Aggie hoped desperately that Douglas Earle would draw up the legal documents fast and that his son kissed her sister properly after drinking champagne tomorrow night. She needed this wedding to go ahead and their marriage to last.

  Thirty-Three

  Happy birthday to you,

  Happy birthday to you,

  Happy birthday, dear Nick,

  Happy birthday to you!

  Frankie sang along but without her usual gusto. She was devoid of any feelings other than guilt as she watched Ivy float about, as beautiful and colourful as ever in her new, bright blue dress. Patrick watched her too, but every now and then he sent Frankie a look and it seared through her whenever he did. She was aware of where he was even without looking, so intense was the weight of his presence. However she thought she could endure this night she’d never know. Still, Nick had begged her to come and she’d felt it would be too mean not to show, even though it felt like torture.

  ‘Champagne?’ Nick asked her, back by her side after cutting the cake to applause. He’d been hovering about all evening and Frankie suspected he was beginning to try to woo her in earnest, little knowing he couldn’t have picked a worse possible evening to do so.

  ‘Yes, please,’ she said, partly to get rid of him for a minute and partly because she could use a drink. The two she’d already had were simply making her feel worse, churning in her remorse-filled gut as she tried to think about anything else but Patrick and Ivy and the terrible thing she’d done. But it was no use. The memory replayed in her mind over and over again. She couldn’t believe he’d suddenly kissed her in such a way and she couldn’t believe she’d kissed him back, and with so much passion. Her greatest fear – that she’d give in to her feelings without restraint if the moment arrived – had come true. She felt way out of control of herself, giving in to the feelings he’d been firing in her with such thoughtless abandon.

  She felt like a fraud too – all her declarations of never needing or wanting a man in her life seemed a mockery. How could she be so weak as to capitulate so easil
y when the moment of truth arrived? And how could she devote her life to politics and freeing the binds that tied women down if she was going to give in to men she desired so easily? Next time she could end up married and unable to work, or, worse still, embroiled in an illicit affair. That she was in danger of that very possibility with Patrick terrified and sickened her. It should be easy to simply say that it was just a one-off but a mighty force had been awakened within her. Powerful and drugging. It frightened Frankie that it had completely stolen her morality and reason at first touch. The natural law overruling her, after all.

  ‘Here you are,’ said Nick, handing her the champagne. She looked at him properly. He was a good-looking young man, tall and broad-shouldered, and rather amusing when he wanted to be. Frankie wondered if his touch would have the same effect on her or if it was just Patrick that ignited it. She wondered if she should experiment and let Nick kiss her tonight to try to find out but that could be inviting a whole other world of strife into her life, especially if she did feel the same burning passion that she’d felt with Patrick. Nick was single and there wouldn’t be any reason to break away from his embrace, except the obvious one – that she didn’t want a man in her life. To toy with him so seemed most unfair.

  ‘Thanks,’ Frankie said, accepting the champagne and taking a sip.

  ‘Cake should be passed around soon,’ he said.

  ‘That’s nice,’ she replied, distracted by the sight of Patrick crossing the room to talk to Aggie and Robert, ridiculously handsome in his new evening suit.

  ‘I meant to say you look lovely tonight,’ Nick said and she turned to him again, trying to keep her focus away from Patrick.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said. Her dress was new as well. The three sisters had gone shopping for bridesmaid dresses a few weeks ago and bought three evening dresses while they were at it, in anticipation of this party. It was red and had been made to hug her figure, and Frankie had regretted the choice when she put it on tonight. Her mother had twisted and pinned her thick blonde hair in a French chignon too, leaving her neck and shoulders bare, and Frankie felt altogether far too on display.

  ‘Did you get any nice presents for your birthday?’ she said, changing the direction of the conversation.

  ‘A new cricket bat, want to see?’

  ‘I’d love to,’ Frankie said. Anything to get away from Patrick.

  ‘It’s just in the study,’ he said, leading her down the hall.

  Nick pushed open the door and she saw that it was a large room with an extensive library of books and several artworks on display. Nick’s father was a wealthy businessman and Frankie stroked the huge timber desk at the study’s centre in awe.

  ‘What a wonderful space to think,’ she said, taking in the fireplace and bay window with interest.

  ‘Yes, isn’t it? I’m lucky enough to do most of my studying in here,’ he said. ‘Speaking of which, Patrick tells me you two have been hitting the books together. I wouldn’t mind a study partner too, if you had the time.’

  Frankie could feel the colour rise to her face and looked away to hide it, wondering when Patrick had mentioned it. Surely not tonight?

  ‘I might do,’ she hedged, drinking her champagne.

  Nick noticed, raising his eyebrows. ‘Thirsty?’

  She glanced at her now-empty glass in surprise. ‘I must have been.’

  ‘I’ll get you another in a moment. Now, where’d Mum hide that bat?’ he said, opening the cupboard to look. ‘Puts things away so fast I don’t have any time to … oh, here it is.’

  Nick drew it out and Frankie inspected it with appreciation. ‘What a beauty,’ she said. It was a wonderful bat but she couldn’t help but feel that he seemed rather indulged and immature all of a sudden. A rich young man with expensive toys his mother puts away for him. In fairness, life hadn’t dealt him any harsh lessons in maturity as yet, she supposed. Not like herself. Or Patrick.

  ‘Properly oiled willow, all the way from England. I should be able to whack a few fours with this, I hope.’

  ‘I should think so,’ she said, investigating it for a moment longer before he put it back in the cupboard with care. He turned around and she looked to the door but he took her hand, surprising her.

  ‘Frankie,’ he began, his expression earnest. ‘I know you say you never want a man in your life and I realise how independent you are, but I’ve rather liked you for an awful long time and I was just wondering … well, seeing as it’s my birthday, if you might reconsider … and … and …’

  Then for the second time in as many days a man caught her off guard and kissed her. She went to pull back but reconsidered, deciding she may as well let the experiment occur at this point. It felt nice and not unenjoyable, but there was no flooding passion, by any means. No heat searing through her veins that blocked all common sense. Nick grew bolder, putting his arms around her and drawing her close and she could appreciate that he was quite muscular and attractive but still there was no urgent reaction to him. There was a reaction behind him, however, and Frankie opened her eyes to stare straight into Patrick’s angry gaze. She pulled back, aghast.

  ‘What do you think you’re doing?’

  Nick swung around in surprise. ‘Patrick. Sorry, mate. Your er … future sister-in-law and I were just … well, actually I was kissing her, as you probably saw,’ he said, sending him a rueful grin. ‘We probably should head back in to the party now, though.’

  ‘Yes, they’re asking for you,’ Patrick said, his tone even, but Frankie saw the anger still flashing in his eyes. ‘You go ahead Nick. Frankie, a word with you, please.’

  ‘Don’t keep her too long,’ Nick said, smiling at Frankie, and she tried to smile too but it was an effort.

  He left and Patrick glared at her. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ he demanded again.

  Frankie felt mortified but his attitude was making her angry too. ‘Kissing Nick Johnson,’ she said. ‘Do you have a problem with that?’

  ‘Yes,’ he said, still glaring.

  ‘Well, I don’t see why you should. He’s a single man, I’m a single woman – there’s no law against it, is there?’

  ‘I would have thought you’d have been feeling a bit too upset to be kissing someone else after … after what happened yesterday,’ he said, lowering his voice.

  ‘You’re the one who seems upset,’ she said, sticking out her chin.

  ‘You’re damn right I’m upset,’ he said in quiet fury. ‘I was up half the night, feeling like the world’s biggest cad and thinking you’d be feeling wretched too, and I was going to apologise but now …’

  ‘Now what?’

  ‘Now it seems like you don’t care.’

  Frankie swallowed hard. ‘Of course I care,’ she admitted. ‘I was up half the night as well.’

  ‘Then why did you think kissing Nick Johnson was going to fix anything?’ he said, looking hurt rather than furious.

  ‘I suppose I … I just wanted to see …’

  Patrick moved closer and her heart began to beat wildly. ‘See what?’

  ‘If … if …’

  ‘If it felt like that with other men?’ he guessed.

  ‘Yes,’ she whispered, staring at his mouth.

  ‘Does it?’ He looked at her like he was barely controlling himself, and she knew they were playing a very dangerous game, yet she couldn’t seem to stop herself.

  ‘No.’

  His eyes burnt into hers but she dragged her gaze away and moved towards the door.

  ‘I can’t do this, Patrick … we can’t do this to Ivy …’

  ‘I don’t know if I can go through with it,’ he said and she stopped still. ‘I think … I think I’m—’

  ‘No,’ she said desperately, turning back to face him, halting his words. ‘You can’t say it. It’s just a phase. It will fade away. I’ve chosen not to have a man in my life and that’s my prerogative and Ivy … Ivy will be your beautiful wife come tomorrow.’

  ‘But—’

 
‘You need to forget anything ever happened between us, Patrick – I’m not a woman who will ever marry and have children anyway. You chose the right sister in Ivy,’ she said, trying not to cry, thinking of her younger sister’s sweet face. ‘Be a good husband to her,’ she finished, turning to leave the room.

  The party was in full swing and Ivy was laughing at something Nick was saying as he and a few of the other cricketers stood around the gramophone with Robert. Dessert had been served, and the table was surrounded while quite a few couples danced nearby, but Frankie avoided them all, skirting around the edge of the room to fetch her coat and just go home. Yet there was one person she couldn’t avoid as Aggie’s gaze found her, flicking over to where Patrick emerged from the hallway, then back again. Frankie knew her sister could see what was going on, as clearly as if Frankie had told her. Aggie knew Frankie’s heart too well not to see when it was breaking.

  Thirty-Four

  Ivy had drunk a few glasses of champagne, as Aggie had suggested, but Patrick didn’t seem in a very amorous mood as his carriage driver took them home. He seemed preoccupied and when she took his hand he looked at it in a strange way. She persevered anyway, needing to feel the way she’d felt on her birthday to know she was truly doing the right thing in getting married tomorrow.

  She reached up to cup his cheek and kissed him and he kissed her back but it was the same as a few days ago in the stable: nice but lacking that wonderful feeling they’d shared before. She drew back to look at him, confused.

  ‘Is something wrong?’ she said.

  ‘No,’ he told her, ‘everything’s fine. I’m just a bit tired, is all.’

  He put his arm around her and she snuggled in against him but even with her very limited knowledge of such things Ivy knew something wasn’t right. Two people who were getting married on the morrow should be eager to kiss one another, and madly in love, and it worried her. She wanted a husband, he obviously wanted a wife, and they liked each other. What was missing between them?

  Yet, even as she thought the words she knew the answer. What’s missing is the way Riley makes you feel.

 

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