Promised

by Leah Garriott

  I scooted over on the cushion. She plopped beside me, the jolt bouncing me into the air. At that moment Lord Williams entered the room.

  I struggled to right the skirts of my dress, but Miss Perrin shot out of her seat, unsettling me on the cushion once again.

  “Oh, your lordship!” she exclaimed.

  He strode into the room with a wide smile. “Lady Cox, Miss Perrin, Mrs. Hargreaves. It is wonderful to find you all here.” He kissed each lady’s hand in turn.

  Lady Cox’s surliness disappeared. “We are so pleased you have returned. I admit I was surprised by your continued absence. We had thought you would not be away more than two days.”

  Ignoring me completely, Lord Williams stood next to Miss Perrin. Rather close. Close enough that it appeared his hand brushed hers. My chest tightened.

  “I apologize for staying away so long,” he replied. “I encountered business that detained me from returning.”

  Business? I was business? He was acting more like the Lord Williams from the Hickmores’ and less like the man I’d come to believe him to be.

  Perhaps I had been correct all along. If so, it was a hollow victory.

  “Business is so odious.” Lady Cox proceeded to relate some tale regarding something she had done the day before.

  “I am so glad you’ve returned,” Miss Perrin whispered to Lord Williams.

  “As am I,” he replied with a rather intimate smile.

  This couldn’t be happening. He had professed his desire for my hand only two days before, yet his regard for Miss Perrin was unmistakable. He acted as though I weren’t even there.

  Perhaps he was exactly like Edward, courting me as business while retaining a true regard for someone else.

  Yet was this not exactly what I had set myself up for in seeking Mr. Northam’s hand? I myself had declared that I wouldn’t seek to change Mr. Northam’s wandering ways. If what Lord Williams had implied was to be believed, Mr. Northam might even be so brash as to bring a mistress into the very house his wife occupied.

  But there was still a difference. There would never be pretended affection between me and Mr. Northam, while Lord Williams had led me to believe—

  Chagrin rippled within me. Lord Williams had told me that if Mr. Northam had wanted to make me love him, he could. And while I’d sworn it wouldn’t happen, Lord Williams had shown it was possible. It didn’t matter that the engagement had been called off; in the end, he had still broken through my barriers. I didn’t love him, but he’d certainly changed how I felt about him. He’d proved what a fool I was.

  This must have been what he’d meant when he’d said he shouldn’t have allowed it to continue for so long. He’d not only intended to keep me from his cousin, but he’d also intended to show how foolish my plan was. He’d thought to make me care for him as a way of proving he’d been right.

  Did he know he’d succeeded? That I’d begun to care for him?

  And now that the game was given up, he’d decided to return to his normal life. One that didn’t involve me, my plans, and my—

  Not my heart; that hadn’t been affected. But certainly my regard.

  Curse the circumstances that had placed me next to him that night at the Hickmores’. If only I could disappear and never hear the name Williams again.

  I might not be able to leave his estate, but there was no reason why I must remain in the room with him now. I stood. “Please excuse me.” I dropped a quick curtsy. “It was a pleasure to meet you all, but I have just recollected a matter I wish to discuss with my father.”

  “I believe you will find him in the library,” Lord Williams said. The lack of formality in his tone caught my attention. His eyes were not as cold as I had expected, but neither were they as inviting as they had been. His agreeableness must have been a result of Miss Perrin’s presence.

  “Thank you.”

  Instead of searching for my father, I walked to the music room and shut the door. What I needed was my lake. Or at least to be outside. But outside held nothing but a garden too formal to enjoy and a gurgling river that was more annoying than peaceful.

  I had to get away. From Lord Williams, from his mother, from his house, and his life.

  Yet would this not be my life if I answered Mr. Northam’s letter? Hours spent with my head against a window, with no one for conversation but the servants unless Mr. Northam or a kind neighbor came for a visit? I would be isolated and alone.

  While Edward’s actions had left me feeling abandoned, I had never truly been alone. I had always had Daniel and Alice for entertainment and Louisa for confidences.

  Yet if not Mr. Northam, then who? What other choice did I have if I wished to be free from the deception, from Lord Williams, from my own foolishness—free from of all of this?

  Grabbing one of the songs I had set aside, I sat at the piano and worked my way through the scales and arpeggios, aching to bury the reality of my situation.

  An hour later, the door opened. “Margaret?”

  I stopped playing. “Father.”

  “Lord Williams mentioned I might find you here. Did you wish to speak with me? Is everything all right?”

  I almost said yes. It would have been so easy to pretend with a false smile and a nod that I was fine. But if I was to leave, I could not pretend for my father. “I cannot stay here. It is too awkward, too embarrassing, too—” I couldn’t say painful or dangerous. My father wouldn’t understand. “Please, isn’t there any other place we can go?”

  He walked up and put his arms around me. “We cannot leave so soon after arriving. What would Lord Williams think of us?”

  “It no longer matters what he thinks of us. Besides, he cannot regard me with any less esteem than he already does.”

  He sighed. “Perhaps you are right. But we must await word from your mother. Tomorrow would be sufficient time for Alice to be well again. Then we can simply return home.”

  If the post came early, by tomorrow night I could be home. Home to my lake. Home to my family.

  But I would still have to determine what to do about my future.

  Twenty-Six

  Lady Williams again invited me to join her the next morning, insisting that Mrs. Hargreaves would be her only visitor and that she had taken such a delight in my company yesterday.

  Mrs. Hargreaves’s delight undoubtedly had more to do with my not being related to Lady Cox than with any merit I could claim of my own. But as the post had not yet arrived, I would be in the best position to receive any news if I remained near Lady Williams. And I could escape Lord Williams. “Yes, of course.”

  We retired to the same room as the day before. Within moments Mrs. Hargreaves was announced.

  “Ah, Miss Brinton. I am so glad you decided to join us again this morning.” She sat where she had before, but leaned toward me so that we were quite close. “You mustn’t pay any heed to Miss Perrin.”

  “Mrs. Hargreaves,” I replied, determined to put an end to whatever ideas she held regarding Lord Williams and me. “I thank you for your concern, but as I expect our stay will be of very short duration, I do not believe I need be concerned with Miss Perrin at all.”

  “You are leaving soon?” Mrs. Hargreaves asked with a frown.

  “We await only news of my sister’s recovery. It was never our intent to visit, except my sister became ill and we found it necessary to be away for the sake of my father’s health. Lord Williams graciously offered his home.”

  “Of course he did. I know all about it,” Mrs. Hargreaves said, patting my hand.

  She couldn’t know all the details. Not how Lord Williams had almost caused me to regret my decision. Nor how similar he was to Edward. And especially not how I ached for word from home, how empty I felt wandering the large house and grounds.

  “Perhaps,” Lady Williams said, “you had not heard that the Browns have decid
ed to vacation in Bath this year. Such a long, expensive journey for a clergyman. But his lady’s health has been on the decline ever since winter.”

  “I had heard,” Mrs. Hargreaves said. “It is old news, Clarice. But I catch your intent, and so shall leave off teasing Miss Brinton.”

  “I doubt you’ll do any such thing,” replied Lady Williams.

  “I hope you are not teasing Miss Brinton,” Lord Williams spoke from the doorway, hat in hand. “Though if it is a matter of some humor, I should like to hear it.”

  Did the man turn up every morning for his mother’s visitors?

  Sundson followed him into the room. “The post, your ladyship.”

  I sat forward.

  “Thank you, Sundson,” Lady Williams said as he held out a silver tray with three or four letters on it. She picked up each letter individually. At the last one, she hesitated, glanced at Mrs. Hargreaves, then said to me, “There’s something for you, dear.”

  I jumped up. “Thank you.”

  The letter was from Louisa. Taking the letter a little distance away, I opened it and glanced over it quickly, then paused and read over it again.

  “I hope it is not bad news?” Lord Williams asked.

  “I—Alice still has a fever but seems to be getting better.”

  “That is good news,” Lady Williams said.

  “What else does it say?” Lord Williams asked quietly.

  What did it matter to him? What did it matter to me if he knew? He may have caught me off guard, but I was not deceived in him any longer. I would not be hurt by him. Let him see that for all his effort, he’d failed.

  I handed him the paper and saw the moment he read the words in the way he stilled. Mr. Northam called. I can see why you like him, though Daniel is furious. He refused to tell Mr. Northam where you were. Do you think he’ll come looking for you there?

  Lord Williams handed the paper back, his gaze meeting mine. “I am glad your sister is recovering.”

  “And the other news?” I asked, my voice low to keep our conversation private.

  “You already know my thoughts on that subject.” His voice was as quiet as mine, but his tone was dismissive.

  “Yes.” I refolded the letter. I had meant to be strong in letting him read it, to show him that the past week had meant nothing. But it had meant something. Just not to him. My words came out barely above a whisper. “I do know your thoughts.”

  His brow furrowed.

  “Gregory,” Lady Williams said, “are you joining us again this morning?”

  Sundson reentered. “Lady Cox and Miss Perrin.” Lady Cox bustled in, Miss Perrin following in her wake. I took the opportunity to step away from Lord Williams.

  “Ah, I see everyone is here,” Lady Cox said.

  Lord Williams bowed his head. “Unfortunately I was just leaving. I have some business on the northern corner of the estate. Mr. Brinton is riding out with me. We shall be away until dinner.”

  “You will be showing him the garden?” Lady Williams asked.

  “Of course,” Lord Williams replied.

  Lady Williams nodded. “Miss Brinton, have you seen the garden yet? It is one of my favorite places on the estate.”

  “If Miss Brinton has been out of the house at all,” Lord Williams said, “I am certain she has discovered it. It would not surprise me if she has been out each morning to enjoy a walk before the rest of us have even opened our eyes.”

  I didn’t allow myself to be flattered by his insight into my habits; I was just business, after all. “I have seen the garden. It is quite formal, but it fits the estate perfectly.”

  Lord Williams eyed me.

  “Oh, there is another garden,” Miss Perrin said. “Walled and filled with roses. It’s quite wild.”

  “Elisa,” Lady Cox said, shaking her head.

  Miss Perrin fell silent.

  My father entered and, after introductions were made, small talk ensued. I walked to him. “Father, I received a letter from Louisa. Alice still has a fever but seems to be improving.”

  His brow furrowed with concern. “She still has a fever? Can I see the letter?”

  “Oh.” I slid the letter behind my back. “Louisa had things to say of a private nature.”

  “Of course.” My father nodded.

  “Take care of yourself today. With Alice getting better, it wouldn’t do for you to fall ill.”

  Lord Williams stepped beside me. “Mr. Brinton? Are you ready?”

  Saddle oil and cologne floated to me on the air, the smells of what might have been had we both been different people. The scents of what would never be. “You are welcome to accompany us, Miss Brinton,” he offered.

  I glanced at the party behind him and found Lady Cox glaring at me. “I thank you, my lord, but I doubt Lady Cox and Miss Perrin would like it. I do not wish my presence to inconvenience you more than it already has.”

  “Your thoughtfulness knows no bounds,” he muttered before turning toward the others. “Good day, ladies.” With a nod to his mother, he and my father left the room.

  “He is such a handsome man,” sighed Lady Cox, suddenly next to me.

  “Hm,” I responded noncommittally.

  “Do you disagree, Miss Brinton?”

  I shrugged. “I do not think it matters what I think of Lord Williams.”

  Lady Cox smiled in the most cat-like way. “Yes, I believe you are correct. You do know that he and my daughter are practically engaged?”

  He was exactly like Edward. I was lucky to have escaped. “I offer you my congratulations.”

  “Nothing is official, but I hope the matter will be resolved quickly.”

  As did I. “There is nothing as bothersome as waiting.”

  “Very true.” Lady Cox moved next to her daughter and spoke a few low words to her before turning her attention to Lady Williams and Mrs. Hargreaves.

  Miss Perrin approached. “I am so glad you are here, Miss Brinton. There are not many ladies in the neighborhood with whom I can associate in good conscience. Lord Williams is most attentive, to be sure, but one does miss the companionship of another female, does one not?”

  “Quite true.”

  “But you must have many good friends at home, I suppose.”

  “I have one friend with whom I am very close. We have known each other all our lives and I hope soon to call her sister. But life would be very dull if there were room for only one friend.”

  She graced me with one of her dazzling smiles. “Oh, yes. You said it perfectly.”

  We stood in silence, listening to the older ladies’ chatter. Everyone seemed to fit so naturally together. Even Mrs. Hargreaves and Lady Cox had their own routine of insults and rebuffs. I had no place in their small circle.

  But it was possible we would be here for at least a few more days. It would be prudent to make some effort. “Have you always resided in the neighborhood?” I asked Miss Perrin.

  “No. We moved here only a month ago, when Mama married Sir Timothy.”

  She and Lord Williams had formed an attachment quickly, then.

  Of course, they had no doubt spent more time together than he and I had, and he had drawn me in easily enough. “Are you pleased with the area?”

  “I suppose one could call it charming, but to own the truth I find it a little oppressive. If not for Lord Williams, I might have returned to live with my sister near Portsmouth. Sometimes I think I shall die if I don’t feel a sea breeze on my face. But, of course, that is just an exaggeration, for I have not passed on yet.”

  I nodded and, as casually as I could, asked, “Are you very attached to Lord Williams?”

  “Oh, yes. He is the very best of men. One could do much worse than Lord Williams, but I don’t believe one could do much better, even if he is only a baron.”

  Although she d
id not speak of him as a woman in love might, her response left no doubt that when he asked, she would accept.

  Let him find the love he’d so argued for at the party. I would certainly not stand in the way. “It is not my place to do so,” I said, “but I wonder if we can prevail upon Lady Williams to invite you to dinner. Perhaps your mother. . . .”

  Miss Perrin beamed. “That is a wonderful idea. We have no engagements tonight. Then you can perform for us. I myself am not very musical, though I have one song Lord Williams gifted me a few weeks past. Oh, it is not learned as it ought to be. I hope he does not request I sing it for him.”

  Lord Williams had given her music? No wonder Lady Cox was in expectation of a union. “How kind of him.”

  “He is the soul of generosity. Mama, Miss Brinton has thought up a wonderful idea.” She left me to go to her mother.

  Twenty-Seven

  A few hours later, I headed away from the river to a lane of trees at the end of which stood a small gate. Once I reached the gate, I pushed it open and stopped under an arbor of white roses. This, then, was the garden Miss Perrin had been speaking of. Blooms of pink, red, white, yellow, and variegated strains stretched down the path before me, their nodding heads beckoning for someone to smell and admire them.

  My garden had never looked like this. It’s how it should have looked, though.

  Moving down the path, I strolled past trellises and along twisting lanes, the roses making way for mums, asters, lilies, and some flowers I had never seen before. I touched the overhanging leaves of maples and vines as I passed under them. Everything was vibrant without being overwhelmingly so.

  This is where I should have been spending my days. I imagined walking in the garden early in the morning when the smell of dew mingled with the aroma of the flowers, when the garden awakened under the first rays of the morning sun.

  “Miss Brinton.”

  I started up from where I’d bent to inspect a flower, its textured petals soft and delicate. Lord Williams strode down the path toward me.

  “You are supposed to be gone all day.” I glanced behind him, but he was alone. Father. Something had happened. “My father—”