Fate

by Amanda Hocking

“This is it. Well, with matching pants. ” His eyes were lightening, and he was settling into the fact that I really was okay. “You look tired. ”

  “So do you,” I said. It was after eight in the morning, and it was too early for either of us to be up.

  “Wanna go to bed?” He took my hand in his, preparing to lead me out of the kitchen.

  “Jack. ” Mae stood at the kitchen sink, and she gave him a hard look.

  “If you think that I’m letting her out of my sight, then you’re crazy,” Jack said evenly.

  “It’s her funeral. ” She pointed at me while she glared at him, but she wouldn’t stop us.

  “Thanks for the heads up,” he muttered dryly.

  Still holding my hand, he led me upstairs. He walked very slowly and kept looking over at me, to make sure I was still there. When we reached his room, he turned on the light and shut the door behind us. Letting go of my hand for the first time, he slipped off his blazer and tossed it aside, then turned to look at me.

  “I, um, I don’t have any pajamas,” I said awkwardly.

  All I wore was the soft robe and a pair of cotton panties, because after the bath, that was all that had sounded comfortable against my skin.

  “That’s okay,” he smiled, but it wasn’t naughty.

  He stepped towards me, and very slowly, he untied the belt of my robe. He looked at me to make sure it was okay, and part of me wanted to stop him. Not because I didn’t want him to do it, but because I was about to be exposed completely.

  My skin flushed red, and that only made him smile wider. He slipped his hands inside the open robe, resting them gently on my sides just above my hips, and his hands felt unnaturally warm against my trembling skin.

  Gingerly, he lifted me up and placed me on his bed. I lay on my back, and the robe fell open, so my body lay open and naked before him. I swallowed hard as he looked me over.

  He lowered his head and kissed the soft spot between my breasts, then turned and rested his ear on my chest, above my heart. His skin pressed against mine, and his hands held my sides as he listened to my heartbeat.

  It was the way people listened to a pregnant woman’s belly to hear the baby. Something was strangely sweet and intimate about that, and I ran my fingers through his hair.

  When he lifted his head again, he looked in my eyes, his blue eyes going translucent. He pushed the hair back from my forehead, and his skin burned against me.

  “Do you have any idea how beautiful your heart sounds?” Jack asked me quietly, and I shook my head. “You have no idea how beautiful and amazing any part of you is. ”

  He bent down and pressed his lips against mine. He was still fully clothed, but I could feel the heat of his skin smoldering through his shirt. The weight of his body pressed tentatively against mine. Instinctively, my body pushed against his, and I tightened my fingers in his hair.

  Jack kissed me, and everything inside me trembled with anticipation. Pleasure surged over me like electricity, and intense warmth spread all through me. My stomach swirled with butterflies, and my heart beat frantically. Every part of me begged for him.

  His breathing was low and rough, and his hands eagerly searched my skin. His body moved with me, but stupid cloth separated us. I wanted to rip off his clothes, but I knew that wouldn’t be close enough. I wanted to feel his heart pounding with mine, and there was only one way to achieve that.

  “Do it,” I whispered in his ear, and leaned my head back, revealing my throat.

  He pressed his lips softly against my vein, leaving them there as I pushed myself against him. He tried to resist it, but he had an incessant need for me.

  The sharp pain lasted only a second, and then ecstasy spread away from my neck. His heart beat heavily, and I felt it thudding in my own chest, above my heart. The double beat felt more amazing than anything I had ever experienced.

  I could taste him in my mouth, the tangy, honey taste of his blood, even though I had never really tasted it. I could feel the way his blood coursed through his veins, the way it coursed through mine, like hot, liquid silk.

  More than anything, though, I could feel how much he loved me. It was pure and raw, and it felt like it was coming from inside and spreading out all over me. It felt deeper than anything I had ever felt before. I didn’t think I was even capable of emotions that intense.

  Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I felt embarrassed because I knew that he could feel how much I loved him, and it didn’t seem to compare with the way he felt about me.

  The intensity of everything started fading, getting hazy around the edges. It all felt spectacular, but I felt more like I was dreaming and less like this was actually happening. I was losing consciousness, and I thought about telling Jack, but it felt far too amazing to stop.

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  A jolt ripped through me, and I gasped for air. My body suddenly felt cold and alone. Jack stopped biting me, and although he lay directly on top of me, the separation of his blood from mine, his heart from mine, was shocking.

  “Oh my god. ” Jack struggled to catch his breath. His face was buried in my hair, and I felt his body shuddering and heaving. “Are you okay?”

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  “Yeah,” I murmured dazedly. “Are you kidding? That was… amazing. ”

  “I can’t believe I just did that…” He shook his head and rolled over onto his back.

  “No, Jack, that was…” I didn’t even have the words for what it was. Using all my strength, I rolled over and buried my head in his chest. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him.

  “That was bad. Right now, it feels really, really worth it, but that was definitely bad,” he whispered hoarsely. For the first time, his heart beat loudly and quickly. Not as fast or as loud as mine, but something much closer to human.

  “No. No. I just hate that it’s over. I’ve never felt like that before. ”

  “Neither have I,” he said. “What are we gonna do?”

  “I’m going to fall asleep…” I felt weaker than I ever had before in my life. “And you’re gonna stay with me. Being this close to you still feels too far away. I don’t think I could handle it if you were any farther. ”

  He moved and I felt the blanket on top of me. He had covered me up, and he rolled over so he lay on his side, facing me. I buried my face in his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me. It was like being in a cocoon, and I drifted off to sleep.

  The afterglow was more of an aftermath.

  I was blissfully unconscious, more so than I had ever been before, and Jack got out of bed before I even stirred. The bed was empty underneath my arm, and when I nuzzled closer to him, all I found was the softness of the pillow.

  Heavy exhaustion hung on me, like I slept underneath a wet blanket, but I could faintly hear movement in the room and I just wanted Jack in bed with me.

  The light was still on, so I blinked until my eyes started to adjust. I tried to lift my head, but that required far too much strength. Using all my effort, I managed to roll onto my back.

  Jack paced, but when he saw me waking up, he stood at the end of the bed and just watched me. His arms were folded over his chest, and his eyes looked moist.

  “This is why Peter tried to send you away,” he whispered to himself and swallowed hard.

  “What?” My voice barely came out, and it took everything I had to muster that. “Jack? What are you doing? Come back to bed…” I patted the empty spot next to me, hoping to entice him back in.

  “I can’t get back in bed with you!” Jack insisted fiercely. “I shouldn’t even be in the same room with you. I obviously can’t be around you anymore. ”

  “No, Jack. ” Fear energized me a bit more, and I struggled to sit up. My mind was covered in a thick fog, and I still felt the way his heart beat with mine. “Jack, just please. Can’t we sleep? And we’ll talk about this later. But you can’t… just… not be around me. ”


  “We need to talk to Ezra. I think I may have just killed you. ”

  “I’m clearly not dead, Jack,” I shook my head, not understanding what he meant.

  “Maybe there’s still time. Maybe we can do something. ” He wasn’t looking at me anymore. His mind was working overtime, trying to think of some way out of this. “You’ve got to get up. We have to go now. ”

  “But I am so tired!” I whined and fell backwards on the bed. I didn’t have the strength to argue anymore. He was saying things that were potentially very serious, but my eyes were already closing.

  “Alice!” Jack shouted, and it startled me enough where my eyes opened up again. “You have to get up!”

  “No!” I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow. “You have to come back to bed! That’s what we’ll do. Compromise. ”

  “That’s not a compromise at all,” he sighed. The bed shifted as he sat down next to me, and hesitantly, he touched my back. “Alice. Come on. You have to do this. We have to talk to him. Maybe there’s something he can do. Your neck hasn’t completely healed yet. ”

  “I don’t care! I am so tired, Jack! I’ve never been this tired in my entire life!” I was shouting, or at least trying to, but if Jack hadn’t had better hearing, he wouldn’t have been able to hear me.

  “You just lost about two pints of blood, and you only had seven to begin with, so your body’s weak right now. Which is also why we need to get up, so I can make sure that you’re okay. ” He shook me, and I tried to pull away from him, not that I got very far. “Alice. Get up. ”

  After that, he was done arguing. Part of his insistence came from how nervous my current state made him, and he wanted Mae and Ezra to check me out to make sure I wasn’t about to keel over. He stood up, and gently but firmly, he pulled me out of bed.

  “I’m not wearing any clothes,” I said in my tired whine. I was still in the robe, but that didn’t constitute as clothes. Standing up made me dizzy, but he held me in place until I stopped swaying.

  Fate

  “I’ll get you clothes. But you have to stay standing up. You need to try waking up a little bit. ” He was holding me steady, and cautiously he let me go. When I didn’t collapse backwards, he hurried to get me something to wear.

  “I don’t understand why this can’t wait until I’ve had more sleep. What time is it?” I yawned.

  “Um, it’s a little after nine in the morning,” Jack answered as he rummaged through his closet. He came out a second later, carrying a tee shirt and drawstring sweats. “Here. ”

  “How are you so alert? Milo was like… out after he bit Jane. ” I shivered at the thought of it and took the clothes from him.

  “He’s still young. It affects him a lot harder than it does me,” he said absently. “Put on the clothes. ”

  “I don’t want to. ”

  I tried sitting down, but he grabbed my arm to stop me. I just stood there then, fighting to keep my eyes open. Obviously, since standing and opening my eyes were a chore, I wasn’t really up to getting dressed, so Jack took it upon himself. Later on, I’d be incredibly embarrassed, but at the time, I was just grateful that I didn’t have to do it myself.

  He pushed off the robe and pulled the shirt over my head. I tried to help get my arms through the sleeves of the tee shirt, but I got tangled up. He let me sit down to put on my pants, but I ended up lying down. In the ten seconds it took him to get my pants on and pull me into standing up, I had fallen asleep.

  “Alice,” Jack said, trying to get me to stand again, but I wasn’t having any of it.

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  He just gave up on it. At least I was dressed. He scooped me into his arms, and my head lolled into his shoulder. The rest of me just hung limply.

  There was the sense of motion, and the next thing I knew, we were downstairs, and he was trying to get me to stand up again. The hardwood floors felt too cold and slippery, and I couldn’t do it.

  “Alice, you’re not even trying,” he sighed. His arm was around me, but my legs weren’t doing anything productive, so my weight was entirely on him. “Alice! Come on. ”

  “Just let me sit down. ” I decided that would fix everything somehow, if I could just sit down that instant. I was trying to push away from him, so I could just drop to wherever I was at and sit down.

  “We’re in the dining room. Why don’t you wait until I take you to the living room?” Jack said but I just kept pushing on him.

  He was much stronger than me, especially considering my extreme state of weakness, but he must’ve decided that fighting me on this was a moot point. He helped lower me down. Once on the floor, I sat up for about a second and fell backwards. He caught me before I cracked the back of my head, and carefully set me down until I was lying.

  “You’re just gonna sleep in the middle of the dining room floor?” He crouched over me, and I looked up at him blearily for a minute.

  “I guess so. Since you wouldn’t let me sleep upstairs like a normal person. Why can’t I ever just be a normal person? Like… for once. I just wanna sleep when I’m tired. Why is that such a crime?” My eyelids were too heavy, and as soon as they fell shut, so did my mouth.

  “Alice! I just want you awake long enough to talk to Mae. ” He shook me, and while I was still awake, I was too tired to speak or move. “Alice!”

  “You bit her. ” I heard Mae’s voice coming from somewhere behind Jack, and it startled him. It would’ve me too, if I hadn’t mostly passed out already. “You finally did it. Is she okay?”

  “That’s what I’m trying to find out,” he said nervously.

  “I’m fine,” I mumbled, but I heard Mae’s footsteps and felt her next to me, pushing Jack out of the way. Her hands went to my forehead and my neck, and she made a clicking sound with her tongue.

  “This happened awhile ago, Jack. Why are you just bringing her down now?” Mae asked.

  “I don’t know. I fell asleep. I don’t know what I was thinking,” Jack told her apologetically.

  “How is she?” That was Ezra, his deep accent rolling out. I couldn’t place where he was at. His voice almost sounded like it was coming from inside my head.

  “She pale and cool and her heart’s beating fast, but I think she’s okay. We could give her a transfusion, but I don’t really think she needs it. ” Mae started lifting me up off the floor, and my eyelids fluttered and I tried to push her off.

  “No! Just leave me here. I don’t want to move anymore,” I said weakly.

  “You’re on the kitchen floor,” she said.

  “She’s really big into the floor apparently,” Jack muttered.

  “Just leave her if that’s what she wants,” Ezra said, and I tried to tell him thank you, but I couldn’t.

  Mae stood up and moved away from me. Jack asked Ezra what was going to happen now, and I heard the wonderful, deep boom of his voice but I couldn’t understand the answer. It was like listening to the adults talk on Charlie Brown.

  I was quickly fading out, unable to concentrate enough to hear the most important conversation of my life. The lull of their voices put me to sleep.

  Milo yelled, and that’s what woke me up. My whole body felt stiff and ached when I opened my eyes. Ezra had his arms around Milo, holding him back, and Mae stood in between Milo and Jack, trying to reason with him.

  He kept screaming at Jack, demanding to know what he did to me and why he thought it was alright. Jack wasn’t saying anything. He just stood behind Mae, looking remorseful.

  “Why would you even think that was okay?” Milo shouted, futilely fighting against Ezra’s arms.

  “Milo, she’s alright,” Mae said. Her hand was on his chest, more to calm him down than to hold him back. He couldn’t break from Ezra’s grip. “She’s just weak and this is where she wanted to lay. ”

  “When Peter finds out, she’s as good as dead,” Milo said, and tears streamed down his cheeks. “You’r
e supposed to care about her so much and you just killed her!” Jack flinched and looked at the floor.

  “Stop yelling,” I grimaced. Sitting up was difficult, and I saw Jack move to help me, but then he stopped and took a step back. Mae ended up leaving her post in front of Milo and helped me into sitting up. “My head hurts. And so does my neck. And every part of my body. ”

  “That’s from sleeping on a hardwood floor. ” Mae rubbed my back. “Other than being sore, how are you feeling?”

  “Tired. And a little a dizzy. ” I ran a hand through my hair.

  Milo stopped fighting against Ezra, but he kept an arm on him. Sniffling, Milo wiped at his face with the back of his arm and tried to pretend like he hadn’t been crying.

  “Jack, go in the medicine cabinet in the main bathroom and get the vitamins,” Mae instructed, pointing down the hallway. “There should be some iron and B12. ” He nodded without looking at me and went down the hall. “Milo, why don’t you get her something to take it with? Something with sugar. We have some Mountain Dew, don’t we?”

  “I’ll check. ” Milo took a step towards the kitchen, but Ezra held onto his arm.

  “Can I trust you?” Ezra looked at him, and Milo nodded sheepishly. “Good. ” He let go, and Milo hurried over to the fridge to get me a pop.

  Jack appeared back with the vitamins and handed them to Mae. As soon as she took them, he took several steps back from us. He stood all the way on the other side of the room, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the floor.

  Milo came back in with a Mountain Dew, glaring at Jack as he handed it to me. I couldn’t open the can because I could barely do anything, so Mae did it.

  Crouched next to me, she actually held me up with her hand on my back. She handed me a couple pills, and I greedily drank the soda. It tasted better than I remembered it tasting, which I thought was odd.

  “Feeling a little better?” Mae pushed the hair behind my ear and watched me closely.

  “I guess,” I shrugged, but I only felt slightly more alert. “Why did you guys even have vitamins? You don’t eat. ”

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  “I bought them for you,” she said. “We all knew this was a possibility. ”

  “Are you sure she’s okay?” Milo stood next to Ezra, looking at me nervously and fidgeting. “She’s just so pale. ”

  “She’ll be just fine,” Mae assured him. “Do you hear her heart?” She paused, and Milo cocked his head, listening for the sound of it. “It’s a little fast, but it’s strong. That sound means she’ll be alright. ”

  “We should get her up off the floor,” Ezra said.

  Mae took the empty can from me, and Ezra bent down in front of me. I looped my arm around his neck and he lifted me up. Having never been that close to him before, I felt a little awkward, but I couldn’t help but notice how wonderfully male he smelled, like sandalwood and spice.

  He set me on the couch in the living room, and Mae followed behind us, carrying a blanket. Once he put me down, Ezra crouched at eye level with me and he breathed deeply.