The Cursed Girl, #1

by Maria Vermisoglou

  “And who was taking care of him? You know, taking care of him doesn’t mean only giving him food to eat and clothes and a roof over his head. Playing is included. He is a child after all. He might even help you.”

  He nodded. “I don’t know why I thought his passing might slow you down. You are as stormy as ever. Saying the right things, setting us right. Thank you.”

  “It’s the truth.” The boy would definitely pull him out of his dark pit.

  “You should...”

  I raised my eyebrows. “What? Play with my child too? That’s a little difficult right now since it’s not born yet.” He laughed a little and I smiled a little, just a hint of a smile.

  “You know, yesterday I didn’t tell you because it was a little weird, but, um...” He tried to find the right words.

  “Whatever you want to say, just say it. It can’t be worse than the situation.” Situation. How odd. I always could say dead and death for other people, but I hadn’t experienced death so closely before.

  “We caught the person responsible for this.” I looked at him, but I didn’t say anything. I should be glad or relieved, but I wasn’t. It wasn’t going to bring him back. “If you want to see him and tell me what you want to do with him...”

  I was holding his fate in my hands. It was a dangerous move. I could say anything, and they would be compelled to do it. Even if I decided that I wanted him to die, I don’t think Alec would be surprised. “I will when I can.”

  We talked some more, and then Alec went to play with his son. Jasmine showed up with Ritta; I never noticed Ritta had left. I was certain she was behind us watching me. We returned home and I managed to dice the vegetables and put the ingredients in the pot. After that I went to “freezing position,” but all things considered, that was progress.

  Friday was here. I knew it. I felt it. My mother did my hair. She said it was pretty, but I didn’t really care. Ritta gave me a black dress. I touched it and it felt strange. It was human-made, and Ritta probably bought it from the market because I couldn’t have gone myself. Even Midnight was dressed for the funeral; they had put a black ribbon around her neck.

  What was I supposed to say? The funeral was beautiful? It didn’t make sense, but everything was organized. Jasmine had taken care of everything, and Alec said the eulogy because talking about him was not something I could have done without bursting into tears. Somehow, he managed to say a few meaningful words, and then a violinist played his favorite music and some funeral songs. Then I started to cry. Ritta hugged me and we went outside. Everyone started coming out, and we went to the back of the church where they would burn him. It was a consensual decision with Alec. I didn’t believe in the afterlife, and Alec wanted a funeral of a king. Apparently, the royals were burned when they died, and normal people were buried. I agreed with him only to make the royals angry. He was no longer king, and yet he was having a funeral of a king. I think even he would have appreciated the irony.

  After the funeral, the royals went to the palace for the “food after the funeral.” It was only bread and tea. At funerals, nobody, not even royals, ate much. I didn’t want to be around the royals, and I didn’t care what anyone said about me not being there. I went with Alec, Jasmine, my mother, Ritta, and Heather. Ritta liked her and had asked her to come. His brothers and sister were there as well, and his sister told me that it would be all right in the end. “He is with mama now.”

  I nodded not knowing if it was true or not. Maybe he really was. I hoped. He shouldn’t be alone. He didn’t deserve that.

  I buried the ashes in a meadow where I knew you could see the sunset. We held hands and closed our eyes, we witches said a prayer, and then we left. I didn’t know why, but now that it was over, I felt kind of relieved. The thought of going to the funeral had exhausted me, but now it was over, and I could mourn in peace. The royals’ condolences meant nothing to me, but the condolences from the villagers did. They knew loss and pain, and they knew how to say the right words to make you feel a little better. I still had that card with me even if I didn’t know who it was from.

  We went to my mother’s house for some bread with butter and tea. Ritta and Heather were talking and I was petting Midnight.

  “You can go to bed. Nobody will say anything,” my mother said.

  I shook my head. “I was thinking of going to my house.”

  She gave me a look. “Eva’s Cave?”

  I shook my head again. “Not my shop, my house.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Do you think you are ready to go?”

  “I have to go sometime. It might as well be now.”

  “You can stay here if you want,” she offered, “It’s all right.”

  Midnight and I took the streets to our house. No, my house now. I opened the door and I half-expected to see him smiling at me, asking me where I was and how my day had been. I could still feel him like he was still in the house, in the little space he had for a workshop at the kitchen table. I didn’t feel him at the church. Maybe he didn’t want to be there. Eva. What are you thinking?

  I lay down in the bed and closed my eyes. Midnight was next to me. Jonathan had complained at the beginning, but then it didn’t bother him anymore. I fell asleep, but sometime in the night, my dreams woke me up, and I really thought this time I was going to see him lying next to me and he would say, “Hello, drawing girl. Can’t sleep either?”

  When I didn’t see him, I burst into tears again, and I couldn’t sleep, so I dressed up and left. I couldn’t live in that house anymore; it was so... full of him, and it was too painful. I returned to my house. “Eva’s Cave” was always my home. That was the place I should have gone from the beginning.

  Some Peace

  The next day I went shopping. I didn’t want to, but I had to eat. I made myself go, although the truth was that I wasn’t hungry these days. I was an empty shell. I did things mechanically and not because I felt like doing them.

  I saw Alec while I was out. “Hello. Where are you going?”

  “I am trying to go to the market... I think.” He gave me a knowing smile, and I asked, “Where are you going?”

  He gave me an anxious look. “I am not going as much as searching...”

  I saw Midnight coming, and she had her teeth in the sleeve of a boy. “I don’t think you will be searching for much longer.” I pointed at the boy.

  “Oh my god.” He ran and hugged his son. “Thank you. He’s pretty elusive and well... I kind of lost him,” he admitted, ashamed.

  “It’s a good skill if he wants to be a tracker.”

  He laughed. “So, you moved out?” he asked.

  “I went to the house last night, but I couldn’t... it’s like he never left.”

  He nodded. We started going toward the market. “What are you going to do now? As a profession?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. Something else.” He raised his eyebrows. “I can’t draw anymore, anything happy anyway. I wanted to draw a flower the other day, and I ended up with a black meadow full of dark flowers. Who wants something like that?” He gave me a sympathetic smile. “At least you can do your work again, Alec.”

  “Yes, but it’s more boring and well... I could always ask him for help, you know?” I nodded sadly. “I don’t know how you could go back to the house, Eva, I don’t think I could...”

  “At some point, I had to. Turned out I couldn’t either.”

  “So back to healing?” I shook my head. “Why? You are good at it or maybe perfect,” he said.

  “I am not perfect anymore. Healing failed me. How can I go back to it?” I asked in a hollow and desperate voice.

  He looked at me skeptically. “Has healing ever failed you before?” When I shook my head, he continued. “How about the people? Who can’t afford doctors or are too far away? Who are helpless? What about them?” It wouldn’t be fair to them. “Don’t think about how it failed you. Think how it would help people, poor and helpless. They smile at you so brightly, and you make them so
... so happy. I have seen it. I know you can do it again. It will be a little difficult at the beginning, but it will do you good,” he finished.

  I smiled a little. “If anyone told me that someday you would be giving me advice, I wouldn’t have believed it,” I said, and he laughed.

  “So... can I borrow your cat?” I looked at him suspiciously. “She seems to always know where people are, and I can use a little help.”

  I sighed. “I have some shopping to do, so why don’t all three of you play and I will find you?” I said and started going toward the fruit stalls.

  “How will you find us?” he yelled.

  “Who do you think taught her?” I called, and he smiled.

  I did some shopping, but I didn’t get much. I was only one person, even though I was pregnant, plus a cat. When I was finished, I found Alec and little John with Midnight standing as a guard. They were near a lake, playing with the water. If John did something Midnight didn’t like, she meowed in a complaining tone, and he would stop whatever he was doing and look at her remorsefully. It was funny.

  “It didn’t take you long,” Alec said.

  To find you? I just followed your aura; there isn’t anyone else with a silver aura. “I am one person and a cat. Ritta comes by sometimes just like always.”

  “She isn’t very cheerful today,” he said, pointing at Midnight.

  “She’s grieving.” He looked at me incredulously. “What? She’s just a cat? Animals can feel death even more than humans,” I informed him, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

  “I feel like I am constantly learning every time I see you, like I am reading a book without an ending.”

  “I think a book will be more interesting than me. How was the dinner with the royals?”

  He had a look like he had eaten something sour. “If I could, I would have thrown them out of the palace. I think you are right about them. The minute I entered I heard them talking so badly about him I wanted to kill them. Only a few didn’t say anything bad about him, but I am sure they were thinking it. Only Jasmine’s mother was polite. She really did seem sad about it.” Fortunately, I wasn’t there or Alec would have more chandeliers than he had asked for.

  “Who knew that she has a heart? Maybe they were nice, and that’s why they didn’t say anything.”

  “You are defending them?” That would be a first, and I could detect a hint of accusation in his voice.

  “You always told me that out of a flock of blackbirds there can be one or two which are white.”

  “I guess so,” he said reluctantly. “After the dinner was finished, I kind of kicked them out, so I probably lost their alliance for good.”

  “Jasmine must be proud. She always says you never raise your voice to anyone.”

  “She actually was, but I should have been more patient.”

  “They should have been more polite, and I don’t think you lost their alliances. You are the king of Spain, and it’s an important country now and constantly changing because of you. Of course, they would want to be on good terms with the king of Spain. The question is, did they lose your alliance? You have every right to be angry with the way they behaved. Expect letters of apology from them or whoever is in charge.”

  He smiled a little. “Fortunately, you weren’t there, or you would have swept them out of the door the minute they uttered their first impolite word.” He knew me well.

  He stood up and took little John from the lake. “So I will be seeing you around?”

  I shrugged. “If you visit the village, but this time I will come with you. I have something... to do.”

  “I saw Alicia at the funeral. It was nice of her to come all the way here.” It really was. Alicia and her mother had come to the funeral even though I was sure they had things to do. I was touched they had been there.

  Alicia had promised she would come for Christmas since it was a family feast, we were family, and she didn’t want me to be alone at Christmas. She was happy for the baby, but she had contained her joy because of the funeral.

  We were nearly at the palace. “Are you sure you want to do it?” Alec asked.

  “I will be all right. You don’t have to come with me. I can turn back if I feel unwell.”

  He nodded, and Jasmine came to greet us. “You are late. What have you been doing for the past hours? Hello, Eva.”

  “Um, walks, playing, you know,” Alec said and kissed Jasmine. “I will take you,” he said and took my arm. “Please don’t tell her I lost him,” Alec said when we were out of earshot.

  “I don’t think she will be surprised,” I said and he gave me a funny look.

  He instructed a guard to take me to the cell where the perpetrator was held. “Just so you know, he hasn’t said anything so even one word would be useful. I am here if you need me.” I nodded and followed the guard. Now I would finally face the person responsible for my loss. I could punish him however I wanted, and nobody would say a thing.

  The guard guided me to a bare white room with a table and a chair. A man with chains around his wrists and his feet sat in the chair. Even if he tried to escape, he would fall because the chains were linked from his arms to his ankles—not that he could escape with me in the room. The guard brought me a chair and left. I didn’t sit. I wanted to stand and look in the eyes of this monster. I met his gaze. “Do you know who I am?” I watched him as he was looking at me trying to remember if he had seen me before.

  Then his eyes widened, and he nodded. “You are his girl,” he whispered.

  “I was his wife!” I said with a high voice. He recoiled like I had slapped him. “And what am I supposed to tell my child when she asks me where is her father?”

  His eyes were so wide I thought they were going to break from the pressure. “It was an accident,” he whispered.

  I wanted to slap him and hit him so hard that he would break into millions of pieces. “It was an accident? What did you want to hit? A bird? A deer? Because last time I checked, the forest was on the other way. Why? Why would you take him from me? I have saved him every time, from two wars and poisons, and now some stupid person tells me it’s an accident.” I was yelling with all my force. Luckily, I hadn’t caused a hurricane or an earthquake. Yet.

  “I thought the bow was broken. I found it in the streets so I thought I would aim it at something.”

  I wanted so much for that to be a lie. “And it didn’t occur to you that maybe aiming at a tree would be safer? Or maybe you should have looked to see if someone was in the way? Or maybe that bows are dangerous and you shouldn’t use them.” I was angry.

  “I didn’t know.” Things would be so much simpler if that was a lie too. “I am sorry.”

  Sadness filled my eyes as I looked at him. “There is no word that can describe what you did.” He put his head down. “Just so you know... my name is Eva, and I am the healer.” His eyes widened. He knew me. “I can heal everyone, but you made me fail. It was too late. Normally I wouldn’t deny a healing to someone, but I am making an exception. You don’t deserve a healing when you have taken a life.” I turned to leave.

  “Please kill me,” he yelled.

  “Why? So you can rest in peace?” I called the guard, opened the door, and left.

  I wiped my tears. Alec met me at the stairs. “I really thought you would kill him.”

  I shook my head. “Why? You were expecting it?”

  He shrugged. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

  “I wanted to but his death would have put him in peace. Death is calm, peaceful. It’s life that is hard. That is why I let him live.”

  He nodded. “What did he tell you?” I told him and I saw his anger. “This isn’t right.”

  No matter how you turned it, it never would be. “I wanted him to lie. I wished he was lying so I could let all my anger fall upon him.”

  He took my arm. “I know. Me too. What do we do with him?”

  “Why don’t you condemn him to helping widows? War widows, accident widows? But not
me. I don’t want to see him again. I will not heal him even if he begged me. I don’t care if it’s selfish.”

  “You have a way with finding punishments that are pretty creative. I will proceed with it immediately because I don’t like having him here either.”

  I turned to leave. “You might want to have someone with him, not a guard... someone who will watch him so he won’t get away or kill himself.”

  He nodded, took my hand and escorted me out. “When will you be open for business?”

  “Soon, very soon,” I said, and he smiled. Midnight and I took the road that led to Eva’s Cave.

  Business was good. People would buy anything from healing herbs to love potions. I told them there was no guarantee love potions would work and it would be better if they tried the real thing, but they preferred to put their faith in a potion than try themselves. Unbelievable. I didn’t sell poisons; that’s where I drew the line. Alec was right. The healing business did help me and other people. I had orders from other countries too. Apparently, my fame had reached as far as Russia, but they mostly needed herbs to keep them warm rather than healing.

  The odd thing was that witches started visiting me. First, it was just one, but then five came to my shop. They talked to me about their losses, the humans they had loved, and how they had gotten over the pain. Some remarried again, and others found creative activities to pass their time. The whole thing was strange, but it was nice to have someone tell you “you are not alone” especially if they understood you. Humans were kind, but they were not witches.

  Ritta came over every day to see how I was doing, check on me, or accompany me to the market. When we finished, she would drag me to the clothing shop to see the dresses and the new fashion. I had lived with him for a little time, but for me, it felt like years. It also felt that this time was ages ago when it was only a few weeks. Now I had to learn to live alone again just for a little while.

  My mother speculated that the girl would be born in four months. I don’t know why we decided the baby would be a girl. With all the kicking the baby was doing, I was starting to wonder if maybe it was a boy.