Avenging Autumn

by Marissa Farrar

  “We didn’t attack them. They came running at us, and we reacted, that’s all.”

  “So you just fought for the sake of it?” She couldn’t hide the disbelief in her tone.

  Ollie cracked his knuckles. “It’s good to keep the skills well-honed.”

  “Bullshit. I think you’re protecting something ... or someone.”

  “Think what you like, but I told you the truth.”

  “So you’re not involved with Vivian Winters then?”

  His smooth brow formed creased as he frowned. “Vivian Winters? Isn’t she the psycho who was testing on shifters?”

  “Yeah, that’s the one.”

  “Why would we be involved with her?”

  “Because we’re looking for her, and you just happened to try to stop us in our tracks.”

  “Why are you looking for her? Didn’t the government shut her down?”

  “Yes, but she hurt someone I love.”

  The corner of his mouth quirked up. “So you’re out for revenge?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Well, in that case, why don’t we tag along? There’s strength in numbers, right?”

  Chogan spoke up. “We don’t need you to come with us. We have plenty of strength on our own, as you just experienced for yourself. I’ve seen how you guys operate—pick on the weaker person for your own entertainment. We don’t need to be associated with your type.”

  Ollie’s blue eyes flicked between Chogan and Autumn. “But you’re the one who is in charge here,” he said, addressing Autumn. “I know who you are, and what you’re able to do. I’d be willing to lend you my guys as extra muscle, if it means I can get a taste of you, Autumn.”

  “Watch your mouth,” Chogan snapped, though a strange thrill went through Autumn.

  He smiled. “Chill, bro. I only meant a taste of what she can do. I have a couple of human friends who would like to be turned. I don’t normally think much of regular humans, but these guys are tough and would make excellent shifters.”

  Chogan snorted. “What, so you’d be able to go around tormenting more innocent people?”

  “People need to know who is in charge around here.”

  “Right now,” said Chogan, “the people who were in charge, are still in charge. Some of them might be shifters, but nothing has changed in that respect.”

  Autumn wondered about Chogan. When they’d first met, he’d been a staunch advocator of shifters above humans too. She was almost surprised he wasn’t taking Ollie Pritchard’s side. While the last thing she wanted was for the shifters to start some kind of war against the people, his turn of mind astonished her. But, whatever Chogan thought, she felt like they could do with some extra shifters on their side.

  “Coming with us might be dangerous. Are you ready for that?”

  Ollie grinned. “We’re ready for anything.”

  Chogan spun to her. “Autumn, this is a mistake. I know you’ll do anything to take Vivian out, but inviting a group of shifters we already know are trouble is plain stupid. Your grief isn’t allowing you to make rational decisions. What would Blake say if he were here?”

  She experienced a pang of guilt at the thought of Blake. He’d tell Ollie to get lost, too, but if she had Blake, maybe she wouldn’t feel the need for extra backup. “Yeah, well, he’s not here, is he?”

  Chogan pressed his lips together, obviously forcing himself to keep his thoughts to himself.

  “So how are you planning on finding Vivian Winters?” asked Ollie.

  “We have one of her men in the truck back on the road. He’s giving us directions.”

  “Directions? So he didn’t put up a fight for his superior then?”

  “No. Vivian wants me to find her. So if you really want to come with us, you need to be prepared. She’ll be watching out for us and has no qualms about killing every single one of us.”

  Ollie nodded. “Noted.”

  “Good, then let’s move. I assume you’ll be traveling as a shifter?”

  “Sure will.”

  Autumn moved to turn away, and then turned back. “Oh, and Ollie?”

  He raised his eyebrows in anticipation of what she was about to say.

  Autumn continued, “If I ever see you or your guys so much as lay a paw on one of my friends again, I’ll shoot you in the head myself.”

  Chapter Six

  BLAKE HAD WATCHED from his wheelchair on the porch as the others left to shift, and Autumn walked away with her prisoner.

  It wasn’t just his paralysis and feeling of uselessness that left him hollow and hurt. As he’d watched the others go into the forests to shift, he realized that he missed his wolf as well. It had been part of him for as long as he remembered, and now he had to get used to existing as a regular person. The world had dimmed for him. The longer he spent in this crippled body, the farther and farther his wolf had distanced itself from him. At first, he’d at least been able to get a sense of it—though fearful and confused, whining as it moved away from him. But now he sensed nothing. Blake believed that, since they normally existed in a symbiotic relationship, with him providing a strong and healthy body for the wolf to shift from, and now was no longer able to do so, the spirit guide was also withdrawing its part of the deal. It no longer provided him with the heightened senses and ability to see beyond what his own eyes could see. The last thing it would want to do was shift into a broken body and find itself trapped. Blake couldn’t blame it for staying away.

  His father stood at his side, his hand rested lightly on Blake’s shoulder.

  “Are you all right, son?”

  Blake shook his head. “How can I be?”

  “You need to come to terms with the person you are now.”

  “I can’t. He’s unrecognizable.”

  Movement came behind them, and Blake turned to see the woman, Madison, who Chogan had picked up off the side of the road, together with her young son, Billy. Her dark hair hung loose around her face, her green eyes bright. She was looking at them apologetically.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but I was going to make something to eat. Can I get you both anything?”

  Blake shook his head. “No, I’m fine, thank you.”

  “You have to eat,” his father admonished. “I thought you were doing better with all of this.”

  “Sorry. It’s just with Autumn going away again, and me being stuck in this goddamned chair ...”

  “Mister,” a little voice said from next to the side of his chair. “You just said a real bad word.”

  Blake glanced down to find the little blond boy sitting on the floor beside his chair. In his hand, he held a couple of marbles and he threw the biggest one out onto the porch to see if he could hit it with the others.

  “I did, huh? Yeah, I guess I did. Sorry about that.”

  The boy shrugged, and threw another marble. It missed the one he was aiming for by a yard. “That’s okay. My daddy always uses bad words. He uses even more bad words when mommy tries to tell him off.”

  Blake glanced over at Madison. Her cheeks had colored pink and her gaze shifted away from him. “Come on Billy. The nice man doesn’t want to hear all about that.”

  “Nah, he’s okay,” said Blake. “It’s good to have some company that doesn’t judge for once.”

  “I’m not judging,” said Lakota. “I’m only trying to help.”

  “I know, Father, but I can’t help how I feel.”

  Madison turned to head back into the house. “So how’s that sandwich sound?”

  Blake nodded. “Sounds great, thanks.”

  “And milk for me, Mom!” shouted Billy, though Madison was well within hearing distance.

  “What’s the magic word?”

  The boy rolled his eyes. “Puuuuhhlllease.”

  Madison rolled her eyes at Blake in exactly the same way her son had done to her, and disappeared back inside to get the sandwiches.

  “I’ll go and see if I can help,” said Lakota, and followed the woman.

&nb
sp; Blake was curious to know about this human mother and child who had made themselves at home with the shifters. Chogan had seemed particularly taken with her, but he wondered what her motives were. Did she assume she’d found protection with the shifters? If so, he couldn’t imagine what kind of protection she thought she would get now, left here with an old lady, an elderly man, and a cripple.

  “So have you seen your dad much lately, buddy?” Blake asked to the boy still playing marbles.

  He shrugged. “Nah. He went out one night, and after he’d gone out, Mommy said we needed to go for a ride. That was a few sleeps ago now, and I haven’t seen Daddy yet. When I ask Mommy when we’ll see Daddy again, she just says, ‘soon,’ but I don’t think she means it really.”

  “Do you want to see your dad?”

  “Don’t know. I miss him, but when he shouted and hit Mommy, it made me sad and frightened me a lot.”

  “Jeez, I’m sorry, bud.”

  “It’s okay.”

  Madison and Lakota walked back out, carrying a tray each of sandwiches, chips, and drinks.

  Billy saw the food and jumped to his feet. “Oh, yummy!”

  “What have you two been chatting about?” Madison asked, her eyes flicking between him and her son.

  Billy shoved a handful of chips into his mouth. “Just Dad,” he said, around them.

  “Hey! Say it, don’t spray it,” his mother chided.

  “Sorry.”

  Madison looked to Blake. “We needed a little space,” she said. “It’s just a vacation, really.” Her eyes flicked to her son, and Blake understood that she didn’t want to say too much in front of him.

  “Sure, I understand.”

  Lakota handed him a plate of sandwiches, and Blake rested the plate on his lap before lifting one of the sandwiches to his mouth and taking a bite. Salt beef, Swiss cheese and pickle. His taste buds danced at the sensation, and Blake was reminded how he was still able to take pleasure from the small things in life. Things like having Autumn straddle him, the tips of her blonde hair tickling his chest as she curled her back over him.

  Blake cleared his throat and glanced down at the plate, trying to clear his head of the inappropriate thoughts racing through it. Yes, he could take pleasure in the simple things in life. But only if Autumn came back safe. If she didn’t, he couldn’t imagine having a reason to want to live. Food would no longer have any taste, the air would never be as fresh. Perhaps it was bad to base his whole reason for existing on another person, but then he glanced at Madison wiping her son’s face, and wondered if she would say the same thing.

  Billy came to stand in front of the wheelchair. He reached out and touched the armrest. “Were you born in this chair?” he asked.

  “Billy,” Madison said, a warning tone to her voice.

  “It’s fine,” Blake said, and turned back to the boy. He was tempted to tell him that it would have been pretty painful for his mother if he’d been born already in the wheelchair, but decided not to. He didn’t want to welcome any more awkward questions from the boy. “No,” he said instead. “I’ve only been in this chair for a few days. I used to be able to walk, just like you.”

  “Could you turn into an animal like the others?”

  “Yes, I could.”

  “But not anymore?”

  “No.” His stomach twisted with the deepest of regret, his hands clenching into fists. “My spirit guide won’t join with me now that my body doesn’t work.”

  Billy frowned. “But isn’t a guide supposed to help you?”

  “Yeah, I guess it is. Except spirit shifters have a kind of deal, you see. They help us by giving us guidance and allowing us to see a part of the world we wouldn’t be able to without them, and, in return, they get the use of a body again, and get to run back on earth for real. I can’t hold up my end of the bargain.”

  The boy’s nose wrinkled. “Still seems mean.”

  Blake sighed. “Yeah. Maybe, but it’s just the way things work.”

  A part of him couldn’t get to grips with the idea that he was no longer a shifter. It was something he’d known his entire life, and without it he felt bereft.

  “That’s enough questions now, Billy,” said Madison.

  “Okay.” Billy picked up his empty cup. “Can I get some more milk?”

  “Sure, the carton is on the side in the kitchen. But be careful not to spill. Or second thoughts, ask Wenona to help you.”

  “Sure, Mommy.”

  He disappeared inside to hunt for a refill.

  Blake turned to the brunette. “So Billy’s dad has no idea where he is?”

  Madison shook her head. “You’re probably going to tell me how bad that is of me, right?”

  “No, not at all. I don’t know your situation.”

  “Well, it wasn’t a good one, I promise you that. I wouldn’t put Billy through all this upheaval if I didn’t think I was doing the right thing. I didn’t run for myself.” She fixed her astonishing green eyes on him. “You have to understand that. If it was just me, I probably would have stayed and never found the strength to run. But as soon as I saw that bastard lashing out at Billy, I knew I had to go. I’d never forgive myself if Billy ended up with a broken arm, or worse, and I knew I could have done something to prevent it.”

  “So you don’t plan on going back?”

  “Only if hell freezes over, which, by the craziness of the world at the moment, could be a possibility.”

  He gave a laugh. “Yeah, I can believe that.”

  “Look, I don’t want us to outstay our welcome,” said Madison. “I can see you guys have a lot going on, and now the city is safe again, Billy and I should really get out of your hair.”

  Blake frowned. “You don’t have to do that. Don’t you want to wait for Chogan to get back?”

  She gave a shrug, but wouldn’t meet his eye. “Oh, I don’t think he’ll be too bothered if he gets back and finds me gone. I mean, he’s been great and everything, but I don’t think he really wants to get himself saddled with a single mom, especially considering the amount of baggage I carry with me.”

  “Yeah, but he’d still want to say goodbye—know that you and Billy are safe.”

  “Oh, I’ll get in touch when I get settled. I have a friend in the city who I’m sure will put me up for a while—well, she’s a friend of my ex’s really, but she and I have gotten close over the last few years, you know. And she adores Billy.”

  “I still think Chogan would want to—” he tried, but she cut him off.

  “Seriously, I think Chogan has his mind on other things ... other people, at least.”

  Again, she wouldn’t meet his eye as she spoke, and Blake wondered if she was talking about Autumn. Chogan hadn’t done much to disguise the fact he had feelings for Autumn. Blake had thought the arrival of Madison might have signaled a change, but it appeared the other woman had picked up on Chogan’s affections as well.

  He tried not to experience the stab of jealousy the realization brought with it. Autumn and Chogan were out there, together again now. Chogan was full and strong, and he’d always had a way of charming women. Did he need to worry about him and Autumn?

  “So,” prompted Madison. “Do you think she’d mind if I made a call?”

  “I’m sure she wouldn’t,” Blake said, pulling himself from his thoughts. He wanted Madison to stay for purely selfish reasons—as a distraction for Chogan. “But I guess you’d better ask her yourself.”

  Her cheeks colored pink. “Oh, sure. Of course. I’ll do that.”

  “Mom!” The shout came from inside the house.

  She gave Blake a tight smile. “I’d better go help him. My guess is that milk is all over the floor.”

  And she turned and disappeared back inside the house.

  Lakota finished his sandwich and put the empty plate on the floor.

  “You know, Father,” said Blake, “I think I’m more cut up by the fact I can no longer shift, than the fact I can no longer walk.”

 
“I think the two are connected. If you could shift, I think perhaps your body would change enough to heal itself. But, until your wolf is willing to try that with you, you won’t be able to shift or walk.”

  “So how do we go about getting my spirit guide back? I can’t even feel the wolf in my head anymore.”

  “It will still be joined to you. It’s just distanced itself from you,” Lakota said. “I think we should try again to ask the spirits to help you heal.”

  “I’d be willing to try anything.”

  “My fear is that it’s not your body that your spirit guide is frightened of, but your mind, and soul, and heart. It senses that you’re broken inside, Blackened Hawk, as well as the outside.”

  “I don’t know what I can do to change that. I’m trying, but when what makes you the person you are is gone, it’s almost impossible to get them back again. I feel so worthless, impotent sitting here in this damn chair while others have gone out to fight! What is my place in the world now? Who am I supposed to be?”

  “That’s what you need to figure out. Until you do, I fear your wolf will keep its distance.”

  “But will you still try to make contact?” Blake asked.

  Lakota nodded. “Yes, I’ll try.”

  Chapter Seven

  MIA TREMBLED, SHAKEN, but unhurt by the other shifters.

  Peter trotted up to her and nuzzled against the corner of her muzzle, checking she was all right. She flicked her tongue out in a lick, her sensitive palate picking up on the unease radiating from him. Though the attack from the other shifters had been sudden and unprovoked, Autumn now appeared to be inviting the other group along. Mia didn’t know if fighting was something that just happened between new groups of shifters when they were in animal form, but it wasn’t something she was used to and the attack had left her anxious. No one had been hurt—except possibly the pride of the wolf shifter when Marcus had used the branch to swipe the wolf when it came after her—but she still didn’t like the idea of running side by side with these new shifters.

  From his harsh words, it seemed Chogan thought so too, but for once Autumn wasn’t listening to him. She was so hell bent on finding Vivian, and destroying her, she wasn’t thinking clearly. Mia knew exactly how Autumn’s mind worked, and in her head she saw strong, aggressive shifters and figured that if they wanted to come along for the hunt, then why should she stop them? Autumn had forgotten that the reason Mia and Peter, and all the others were with her on this was because they loved her and would do anything for her. These other shifters only wanted to do what was best for themselves, and she’d heard about how they’d been tormenting those poor people back in Chicago. Plus, she didn’t like the way the blond guy was eyeing up Autumn—as predatorial as the leopard he shifted from. Autumn had been going through some tough times, but Mia didn’t think she was blind enough not to recognize his attraction. Her allowing them to come only gave this new guy Ollie Pritchard the wrong idea.