Kodiak continued to grind and sway, turning around in a spin and found himself face to face with the older cowboy. He stopped dead in his tracks, turning as white as a ghost. Of all the people to walk in, it had to be him. Kodiak had never seen the man tell a joke, much less goof around. He was pure seriousness with a side of olden days cowboy charm.
“Is that what basic training is teaching now days?” His gruff tone didn't help the embarrassment that swept over him.
Stammering, Kodiak fought to explain. “Sir, I was...we were...oh hell.” He gave up. “Have a seat. I'll give you the best damn lap dance you have ever seen.” He threw one arm behind his head and twisted his body, biting his bottom lip in the best girlie impression he could give. The room went into a roar.
Michael just shook his head and snickered. “I gotta say, you may be right. Alaina darlin', give that boy some heels and slap a thong on him. We are taking him to town to make us some money.” Kodiak finally stopped, doubled over chuckling.
“Okay, okay, that's enough. I already lost my appetite, and Mrs. Sanders has cooked my favorite desert for lunch. Come on.” Brody swung his arm out signaling them all to follow and headed out toward the barn.
Once everyone was positioned in anticipation, Brody slid open the big door to reveal all of the afternoon's hard work.
“Well I'll be damned. This is bad ass, bro!” Romeo said enthusiastically.
“I call first dibs on the sparring match! Who wants to pair up?” Vice said as she hurried over to the mats. A simultaneous 'no' came from them all. It was no secret Vice was one tough cookie, especially in hand-to-hand combat. Combatics training was supposed to be mock moves to learn now to wrestle and fight without hurting your partner. Vice didn't seem to understand that and always ended up whoopin' someone's ass good. She was good...too good.
“Oh, come on you wimps! Don't tell me that all of you big bad macho killing machines are afraid of little ol' me...” She tilted her head and smiled sweetly, giving her best impression of an innocent, fragile girl she could.
Dom stepped up, giving his normal intense, intimidating glare. “I'm not scared. Gear up.”
Vice almost fell over in shock. He was the last person she expected to volunteer but jumped and almost ran for the head gear and gloves. She tossed a set to him and strapped in, getting an unfamiliar jolt of excitement at the situation. “You sure you can handle me, Dom?” Her comment wasn't meant to be double sided, but as the words came out, and the response she got, she was glad the hidden underlying meaning was there.
“I have no doubt I can handle you, Vice.” His eyes locked with her in a heated challenge. He waited until she looked away, dropping her eyes back to her gloves and smiled in satisfaction. Once she was strapped and tied, he slapped his gloves together and took the offensive position. “Are you ready?”
“I was born ready.” She reached out and tapped gloves with him and they were off. Both started kicking, punching, and trying to take the other down by any means possible. The others had started wandering over, amused that someone would take on the little hellcat. None of them would get as rough with her as they would each other because she was a female, but on the same note none of them wanted their ass handed to them either. They all circled around the outside edge of the blue mat and watched, cheering both fighters on.
Dom caught a left hook and wrenched her arm around behind her back, pulling her flush against his front. “You are playing a game you aren't going to win, Vice. Quit now and save face.”
“Quit? We just got started.” The last part of her words came out in a grunt as she flipped around and took him by surprise, grabbing his arm and whirled him onto his back in a full UFC style. In a flash, she took full mount, hopping over him to wrap around his arm in the attempts of an arm bar. He curled her weight, leaning her back against his chest and pulling her ear down close to his mouth. “Tap now, and I won't make you pay for it later,” he whispered where only she could hear. His words took her off guard, coming off almost sexual but still having the meaning that could be taken either way, allowing him to hop up and flatten her to the mat. He laid his weight on top of hers and stretched her arms above his head, gripping them with one gloved fist.
“Mmm… Well, you are going to pay for that now.” Vice lifted her legs up the sides of his body and worked them up to his shoulders, wedging and fighting them around his neck. When she finally got them into position, she locked them in, squeezing in a headlock from hell. Her signature move was normally from a standing position, but even lying flat on her back she was still able to pull it off and make him tap only moments before he passed out. The boys went wild. They seemed to love that their fearless leader had just got the shit choked out of him by a girl. Given, Vice was no ordinary woman. Dom stood and helped her to her feet, smiling fiercely. The narrowed, lethal look he gave her made her blood boil. He wasn't mad, that much she could tell. However, she was still left pondering what it meant.
The others took turns pairing up and going a few rounds, while some gave the punching bag a good beating. Romeo had staked claim on the weight bench that was set back over in the corner. As Brody looked around, he was happy to see that they all seemed to be in better spirits.
Chapter Nine
As the weeks progressed and just over two months’ time passed, Bella still had good moments and bad. At least now there were a few good, which had to count for something. Still, it didn’t seem right to have any happiness, which let the guilt hang heavy even during those times. If she really thought about it, each and every good moment included Joker. He was a consistent comfort, tending to every up and down she experienced. He was persistent on helping with the kids, goofing and playing to keep their world as normal as it could be for kids who had just lost their daddy and hero. The kids stayed relatively busy being spread between the farm and animals, Elizabeth, the team, and of course, Mrs. Sanders and the others, giving her plenty of time to manage her emotions. Joker insisted on visiting every evening and stayed well after the kids went to bed. Some nights they would talk and reminisce, others they would sprawl out on the couch and watch movies or late night television. He had stepped in and helped at every turn, and insisted on managing homework time like Jared used to do with them. He was a shoulder to cry on, a hug when she needed one, and more support than she could ever dream of.
On one of her really bad days, he had waltzed in, got the kids dressed and insisted they go out for pizza. Without any room to decline, she went despite the feelings and anxiety of being seen in public. The idea of pity stares and sympathetic hugs made her want to cry, but she sucked it up for the kids and agreed. It was one minute, one hour, and one day at a time.
God must have been looking out for her. Joker had picked a small little pizza parlor on the outskirts of town. Deep down, she had a strong suspicion he had planned it on purpose but didn’t ask. The little dining area only had a hand full of occupants to which she was more than grateful.
After they had placed their order and the drinks had arrived, they all played and colored on the coloring menus the waitress had brought the kids. Bella worked at shading in a tree while Joker drew funny faces on everything, making the kids bust up in giggles and silliness. Even through the fun play, Joker remained aware and focused on her. From time to time, he would hold her hand or toss and arm around her shoulders reassuringly, giving her the courage to make it through the evening.
“Unk Joker, look! I made the pizza into a funny guy! He has a mustache and purple boogers!” Skyler pointed to little dots on the paper, giggling and grossing out Heather. She went into the normal sister mode, expressing her ‘eww’s’ and ‘yucks’. To create more havoc, Joker drew a blob in lime green crayon and added little red dots, grinning at Heather when he was done.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“That is barf. See the little pepperonis in it? He ate too much pizza.” The look on her face was priceless. Both of her little eyes bugged out as her face twisted and snarled into the worst s
ourpuss look he had ever seen. Skyler cracked up laughing, and Heather rolled her eyes.
“You guys are gross. Look! You got it on my flower!” she hollered in protest.
Bella smiled, still feeling disconnected from life. She tried to think of something to say to participate in the conversation. “You can draw a green one so it matches. Make it have little red polka dots.” Wow. That sounded lame to even her. Thankfully, no one picked up on it, and the waitress walked toward them with their food. She hurried to clear the scattered colorings and crayons out of the way to make room.
Joker had observed Bella all night, and could see the distance in her eyes. It was a start just getting her to come along, but she was still so lost. In a way, devoting himself to helping her cope had helped him in so many ways. If it weren’t for her, he would probably be in the same shoes as she was right now. The kids mentioned Jared frequently, and every time he did his best to put a positive spin on the situation and keep them from being upset. Tonight, dinner had been a much needed release for them both, and hopefully for Bella too by the end of the night. Being close to her helped so much. He almost felt bad for using hugs and affection to benefit from, but he always put her first and his main focus was for her, not himself. It was a win-win situation. He needed her, and she needed him.
After making pizza faces from the topping and all of them getting their fill, they headed home. By the silence from Bella, there was no way in hell he was leaving her alone tonight. She was slipping again, and he had to rein her in before it was too late. With a game night in mind, he loaded the munchkins up and helped Bella in, determined to make some head way before the night was over.
****
Joker and the kids laughed as they played Chutes and Ladders. He hit the slide once again to fall all the way to the bottom as Heather and Skyler giggled. Then, he was taken off guard when Heather hit him out of the blue with a question.
"Uncle Joker, is my mommy ever going to be okay?" Heather asked in a small voice filled with worry.
"Ah, Heather, she will get better. I promise. She just really misses your daddy, sweetheart," Joker replied with the best response he could as he looked in the faces of her and Skyler, their looks mirroring each other's.
"Why did daddy have to leave us?" Heather asked with tears forming in her eyes.
Crap, why him. How was he supposed to answer. He found himself thinking if Jared was alive, he would kick his ass for putting him in this predicament. Sitting up on the floor, he pulled her into his lap as Skyler moved by his side.
"Do you really think your daddy would ever want to leave you two? He loved you both and your mother too much for that. I know you can't remember when each of you were born, but I can. Sweetheart, he was so happy and proud of you. I will never forget the sound of his voice when he called to tell me about each of your births. And when I finally got to come to see you, the love shone in his eyes every time he held you or Skyler. You meant everything to him and if given the choice, he would have never left you guys. You need to remember the fun and good times with him, not focus on the fact he is gone. Okay?”
"I just really miss him, Uncle Joker, and mommy is so sad that I just want her to come back too?" Heather said as she wiped the tears off her cheeks.
"She will angel. Now let's finish our game before you two have to go to bed." Joker let out a breath. How many of these questions would he have to answer in the years to come?
*****
Bella stood just out of view of the living room listening to her daughter's worry as she asked Joker about her and Jared. Tears formed and ran down her cheeks as she looked back over the last few weeks and realized her daughter was right. She wasn't okay and she had been just going through the motions. Heather and Skyler deserved better.
She vowed then to put forth a better effort in moving on. She chanced a peek around the corner of the doorway to see her children’s and Joker’s heads down as they continued to play the game. Bella looked at Joker and noticed him on a more personal note than she ever had. What would she have done without him in the last few weeks? He had been her rock, the one person she could lean on, the one person who knew how she felt because he was chasing his own demons where Jared's death was concerned. And yet, here he was stepping in to take care of all three of them and putting his own personal issues aside.
Chapter Ten
Little by little Joker had stepped into the role of something else, passing the friendship role and into uncharted water. After only three months marking the date of Jared’s death, Bella still fought to cling on to life. Joker was the key. She found herself finding little ways to show her feelings without being too blunt. On the nights he stayed over, she would carefully cover him up and even shuck his boots when he passed out watching ‘man movies’ with Skyler. Each morning, she would cook his favorite breakfast foods and have coffee and a prepared plate to wake him up. Most of the time she didn’t even realize she was doing it. Lately, her mind reeled at what things she could surprise him with or do to make him smile. It always brought a warmth to his eyes that she so loved, but also sparked something else…something more that made her heart skip a beat. Her first thoughts of the morning strayed to him once again.
With a sigh of defeat, she scooted to the edge of the bed and slipped on her house shoes, heading to get the kids ready for school.
“Mommy, I don’t want to go to school today,” Heather groggily whined.
“Why not? You love school, baby,” Bella said.
“Yeah, but today everyone is bringing in their dad to do a presentation on what they do at work. I just don’t want to go. Daddy can’t go so I don’t want to.” Tears streaked down her little cherub cheeks, making Bella cry.
She crawled up in bed with her and held her tight, unable to give her the mom pep talk she should. Instead, the two laid together and snuggled. A knock at the door was the only reason she got up. Her plans were to stay there with her until the kids got hungry and then move them all into the living room onto a pallet and watch movies all day instead of making them go to school. Plans ruined. “I will be right back, baby.” She kissed her little lips and hurried to the door, hustling at the third knock. “Coming.” She could feel the small little flip-flop her belly preformed.
After the locks had been flipped Bella swung open the door, surprised—and somewhat excited—to see Joker standing on the porch looking distraught and concerned. “Joker? What’s going on?”
“Why aren’t the kids up at the house eating breakfast yet? It is chocowonder cake day. Kodiak makes his famous chocolate chip pancakes every Friday now. The kids can’t miss it.”
“Oh, they aren’t going to school today.” Bella pulled the door shut behind her and stepped out into the cold crisp air, wrapping her robe tighter around her. She lowered her voice to a whisper before continuing, “Heather woke up crying and not wanting to go because it is bring your dad to school day. Apparently they are having all the dads go to the class and explain their job.” Unable to keep her eyes dry, she lowered them to the ground.
“Shit.”
“Yeah,” Bella choked out. He scooted his foot against the wood slats on the porch and stood in a good long silence before he looked up. His eyes twinkled. “I got an idea. Get the kids dressed. Tell Heather and Sky that Uncle Joker is going to go today and they will have the best dang presentation in the whole school.”
“Joker, thanks, but I don’t think that is a good idea…I mean they love their Unk Joker and all, but it is still too soon for them to be okay with all the other dads there and stuff. Maybe you can just come watch movies with us later? We are going to make it a veg day…complete with snacks and jammies.”
“That sounds great…but trust me, Bells. I promise they will have a great time. I gotta run really fast, but get them dressed and to the house for a chocolate pancake coma. They are getting taken to school today.” He rushed off in a dead run toward the main house.
Shaking her head, she stumbled back inside, still not convinced th
is was the right thing to do. He always had the best intentions at heart, but this was something that wasn’t to be messed around with. If it flopped, the outcome could be catastrophic.
Skyler must not have known about the school events because he came barreling out of his room with his teddy bear tucked under his arm. His little wavy dark hair stuck up in all directions, making it impossible not to smile. “Good morning, pumpkin. How did you sleep?”
“Okay.”
Bella held out her arms, waiting for him to fall into the usual bear hug he normally gave her. Without disappointment, he did just that, wrapping his arms around her neck in a vice grip. She picked him up and carried him to Heather’s room. The two of them bounced beside her, tickling and kissing her until she giggled. Once her tears were temporarily forgotten, Bella made a split decision to try Joker’s plan, whatever it may be, and get them ready for the day. “So, Uncle Joker came by a few minutes ago and has some surprise for you two. You need to hurry and get your clothes on and teeth brushed so you get Kodiak’s chocolate chip pancakes before school.”
Broken Battlefield, Mended Hearts (Breaking Protocol Series Book 2) Page 11