Miracles (The Remarkable Adventures of Deets Parker Book 3)

by J. Davis Henry

  “Me? Wow. I have no idea. Man, how does a god tunnel even collapse?” I scratched the top of my head. “It’s invisible?”

  Chapter 15

  I heard a swish of cloth and soft, but steady, foot steps. Catching a reflection of movement in the room’s picture window, I turned to see Amelia enter the sitting room from the front hall. She moved gracefully for a large woman. Her face shone with a light that found the darker corners and crannies of the room and illuminated them. The room suddenly smelled like clean rain-speckled clover and grass.

  She took up the thread of Steel’s explanation without a pause. “You are being examined, Deets, so we can discover the benefits and hazards you present. In the Poconos, you revealed your resourcefulness and brought forth strong fighting energies to help you. With Betsy and Greg, your very capable healings overcame life-sapping trauma. The sculpted white feather you found is a totem from the origins of the universe. It connected you to our portal house in New York and, therefore, the tunnels’ role in the gods’ war on Chaos. The clarity of your vision into the passages astonished us when you followed Jenny as she tunnel-jumped across town.”

  I flinched unconsciously at her words.

  War on Chaos, origins of the universe? And that time I walked with Jenny across town as she skip-roped? I was looking into a god tunnel?

  Amelia paused, cocked her head as if wondering if I had a question, then continued, “Visiting Santa Paloma showed your inner radar was totally capable of picking up on its collapsed-tunnel connection. This perked up the ears of Sheoblask, who was already aware of you, and he began probing you deeper at that silly ruckus with the three women in the stream. By this time, your romantic troubles were giving ample warning of a self-destructive trait you couldn’t control. On the other hand, your creative juices began to interact more with subconscious clues to follow your quest, and Monkey Man and Fish Man materialized to oversee your journey. In the jungles, surrounded by overwhelming adversity, you displayed a tenacity to survive and find the right path, even if needing to rely on the dangerous instincts of a killer jaguar. You can obtain results, as shown by following your vision of Teresa’s dream mountain. That amazing feat of faith cleared the way to meet Pan, allowing him to test for any other idiosyncrasies while you lived in his valley. You jumped to New York. You have learned how to gain entry to portal depots. And recently, we discovered you have the rudiments of controllable magic. But there are indeterminate issues still. You’re still fuzzy in many ways.”

  Steel clapped mockingly, a sarcastic sneer directed at Amelia. “Bravo.”

  The brown cigarette I was sucking on tasted horrible, but I pulled the smoke down into my lungs anyway, maybe hoping when I exhaled I’d be in a different dream, one where I did my artwork, made love with women, and travelled anywhere without being judged or interfered with.

  “My brother will continue testing you.”

  What? Steel and Amelia are brother and sister?

  “We placed obstacles or opportunities in your path, and you used them to develop your tunnel-sight. By you reaching this meeting here tonight, we are assured you are attuned to our conundrum. You could have drowned, you could have been killed by Sheoblask, but the universe brought you here for you to better know your situation. We believe now, without a doubt, that as you unlock your magical understanding of yourself, you will eventually reveal the whereabouts of, and the way to repair, the collapse.”

  Trepidation quivered through me.

  Repair? A tunnel the gods built? What the...?

  The gods had called, and these beings depended on me to answer. The relationship appeared lop-sided, with all the risks being by the human players.

  I gulped, sought a respite. “Where’s Jenny?”

  Amelia smiled. “She’s with my mother. They stopped outside to look at the stars. You can see so many in these mountains. New York is so barren.”

  She approached and leaned over me. “Let me see that arm.” I stared at the stretch of her blouse as she hovered above me. Dark nipples dominated my horizon. Suddenly I felt a slight dizziness and saw a wavering vision of myself in Monster Valley, watching goat-legged Pan wander among his herd. Focusing back on Amelia, my eyes jumped to another set of round dark spots flowering outwards, yet lower down on her chest. My gaze dropped again. A third set of aureoles bulged from two mounds in the area of her abdomen.

  Saints come marching in, she’s got six tits.

  She took my arm in her hands, squinted at me, then a curve of a smile arced up from the corners of her mouth. I finally shot my eyes elsewhere. The window, the fire, anywhere but at her. I took another deep drag on the terrible cigarette. I coughed spasmodically a few times, took a drink.

  She knows I just saw her other self—her tunnel-self, like Pan’s legs, like Steel’s tongue. Did she consciously reveal it, or did I pierce a veil?

  “Deets, think back on your history classes, your art lessons. Remember the ancient religions and the traditional depictions of the gods in cave paintings or on temple walls?”

  My arm felt as if the core of the sun blazed within my bones as she gently massaged it.

  Amelia continued, “Egyptian Gods with animal heads, tails, feathers, and human bodies, all beautifully rendered. Rough scratches in primitive dwellings, deep underground, detailing a bison hunt, a spearman, a horse, and watching it all, a man with an antelope’s head. The gods of Hinduism are half-monkey, half-elephant, multi-armed, many-eyed.” She paused, shifted her hands. “A score of breasts on Artemis in Greece. Mermen in desert Sumeria. The world’s religions are suffused with the images.”

  Doctor Steel’s grinding voice broke through the melodic wholesomeness of Amelia’s. “The Minotaur’s story has been popular for ages. Amelia knew him quite well. Pity how it all went awry.”

  Amelia gave him a roll of her eyes, then made a swift movement with her fingers across my arm, and touched both of my wrists. Looking satisfied, she walked to the small cabinet bar and poured herself a glass of wine before continuing her discourse.

  “Thanks to Pan and his great mushroom plan, people are able to communicate with beings from all over the universe. Over the years, misunderstandings and fanatics have corrupted his intent, and religions have fumbled along, but there are many individuals who have discovered patterns or caught glimpses of the true nature of the gods. The tunnels created during the age of Chaos have been revealed to numerous seekers.”

  She sipped, topped off her glass, and sat down on a couch to my left. “There are side effects to learning this particular secret.”

  Steel blew out a thin stream of smoke. “The residue of the gods.”

  “You see, the more one travels in the tunnels, the more one develops psychic or physical traits that some ancient god left a trace of. Add how, or why it happens, to the list of mysteries in this universe. Sometimes the development is as basic as humans acquiring animal characteristics and animals gaining human ones. Near immortality, pure mind reading, powerful healing, shapeshifting, plus myriads of other miraculous abilities can be achieved, though the traveler has no control over what will be rubbed off onto them while tunnel-hopping.”

  Amelia straightened herself, pushed a hand through her hair, tugged slightly at the hem of her blouse. “So humans see travelers sometimes as we are on Earth, sometimes as we appear in tunnel-form. In some cases it’s your perception, sometimes our choice, but always because the circumstance calls for it.”

  “So the ancient gods portrayed by artists in temple walls and statues weren’t really gods, they were tunnel travelers?”

  “Some were gods, but most were experienced jumpers with god-like abilities.”

  “God residue from the tunnels, strange.” I scratched the top of my head and realized I felt no pain in my arm. “My arm, it’s not broken. Far out. Man, like wow, Amelia. Even the swelling has gone down.” I sat back, squeezing my arm for signs of the break
. “So, if I was a peasant or a priest or a prince in ancient times and a woman with six breasts appeared out of seemingly nowhere and healed my broken arm, I’d spread the word and religions would flourish and temples would be built. All for a tunnel jumper. Well, I guess a tunnel jumper with a good heart.”

  Amelia smiled, brushed her hand over mine, let it linger.

  Doctor Steel groaned. “Really, Amelia. I believe we still have matters to discuss.”

  Amelia’s face pinkened slightly.

  I stammered, staring into my glass of soda, “So, um... how does a tunnel collapse, and why?”

  The front door slammed. Jenny came skipping into the room. “Mom, this place is cool. We should live here. Oh, hi, Deets.”

  “Hey, Jenny.”

  My head swiveled at the sound of a cracked, phlegm-filled pronouncement. “The tunnel disaster is this whippersnapper artist’s fault. He dragged destructive energy into the tunnel as Steel and Pigeon jumped.”

  The old witch who lived on the first floor of Gerald Pigeon’s place hobbled into view.

  “Mother, there are too many unknowns involved in the catastrophe to lay blame on one individual.” Steel’s eyes were slits of disdain. “The energy that destroyed the tunnel surrounded us with a primal violence that has never been witnessed since the creation of the tunnels. We need to analyze it with precision.”

  “He’s dangerous,” the old woman growled, pointing a wizened finger at me.

  Amelia crossed her legs, held her glass with both hands balanced on a knee. “Mother, no matter what the truth is, Pan is depending on Deets.” She looked in my direction, including me in their discussion as one who now possessed special knowledge.

  “I think he’s playing us for fools.”

  “Mother, we’ve gone over this.”

  “First, Einstein starts monkeying around with his theories, and a bunch of goons build that bomb, and now this evil blackheart rips apart time travel. Damn mortals.” She gummed her lips.

  Jenny sat in front of the fire, tossing in small sticks, watching them snap into flame. She spoke into the burning wood. “I think we should keep any explanation simple. Deets really doesn’t know much about jumping.”

  The few white hairs on the balding crone’s head leaped upwards. “Ha. Are you all blind? He could tunnel-see to a degree unheard of by a supposed non-jumper.”

  “Mother, that’s exactly why—”

  Steel’s dry voice crackled with a gritty rasp as he caught my eye. “Mother has concluded you’re a plant, working for one of Pan’s enemies, trying to shut the tunnels from this planet down. The rest of us believe you have abilities we’ve never encountered, and you’re meant to help us fix our problem.” Steel, no matter how cruel or devious he was in his actions, had always been honest in his talk, spare as it had been up to now.

  “Tell him our story, Mom.” Jenny shredded some paper kindling, crumpled a magazine cover, and placed it in the fire. Blue and green flames shot upwards.

  Amelia smiled. “After all he’s witnessed, I guess he’s as ready as he’ll ever be to hear it.” Turning to face me, she appeared lost in thought for a moment. “Other than Mother, we have always trusted you. Our reluctance to share secrets with you is the way the family has always been with those who do not know the ways of tunnel-jumping.”

  Her brother snorted. “But you’re growing, and events that seemed a mystery to you yesterday, are clearer today. After tonight, you’ll still be challenged, but you’re now armed with the knowledge that we’re trying to find in you a solution to our problem. As a mutual benefit, the odd obstacle thrown your way will help you fine tune and direct your newly-developed magical talents.”

  Amelia bit her lower lip, obviously unsure about his methodology.

  While she looked at Steel, I did a quick baffled analysis of her body. She looked to only have two tits now. When she turned back to me, I couldn’t help not casting hidden glances in search of her other breasts. I hoped she didn’t notice my surreptitious ogling.

  “We are an ancient family. In a sense, immortal. Mother was born in the mountains of western Turkey near the Aegean Sea around twenty thousand years ago. Pan visited her clan regularly. As a young woman she was seduced by him, ate the magic mushroom, and learned about a portal to the tunnels. Over the years she has continued her relationship with Pan and been blessed with longevity.”

  “No matter what trait you gain from the tunnels, the aging process slows the more you jump. I’ve had this arthritis for about four thousand years.” The old woman’s voice snipped at the room, filling it with spite and pessimism. “Jenny, get me a rum and coke.”

  Amelia looked at me, drawing my wandering eyes to hers. “Pan is our father.” Her eyebrows arched slightly as she waited for my reaction.

  “Far out. You think I’m going to go into shock or something? Tell me more.” I snubbed out my cigarette, picked out another one, wishing there was a pack of Kools around.

  Holy fuck. Pan has a wife and kids living in New York.

  Chapter 16

  “Pan considered Earth his garden playground. Around the time Mother was born, humans began to congregate into larger family tribes. He knew that eventually masses of humans would threaten his pastoral idyll and immediately understood the plot other gods were implementing against him. He had been dispersing mushrooms around the universe for hundreds of thousands of years. Human civilization was being used as a retaliation by his opponents. They knew the knowledge gained by mushroom eaters would be thwarted by the corruption and demands of more populous societies that depended on material superiority. Money, war, and their related trappings of vanity, territorial expansion, prejudice, and greed would battle his effort of enlightenment.”

  Doctor Steel interrupted, the abrasive rasp of his vocal chords continuing the story of humanity’s march against nature and spirit. “Needless to say, Pan’s plan to share the knowledge of the gods has struggled, gaining a few worthy adherents but achieving nothing other than more traffic in the tunnels. Which was his primary objective in harassing his divine opponents. But it gets quite bothersome, the trash I have to deal with. It’s been a two-edged sword.”

  “Does everyone who takes mushrooms find the portals?”

  “No, of course not. The portals find you. If they decide to use your energies, they send out their invitations. Remember, the tunnels were first made as pathways forged through Chaos. They maintain a purpose. Eventually, they’ll touch your world, and you’ll gravitate into the area of a portal’s energy. If you have the persistence to believe in the seemingly hallucinatory world that you witness with mushrooms and you learn to interact with it, you’ll be given the key to tunnel-jumping.”

  “You, Deets, could have passed much off as just being high on some drug.” Amelia looked down at her chest as if to see how many tits were showing at the moment.

  Steel continued, “Pan announced to us about fifteen years ago that his rivals were going to try and block off the tunnels in the region of this planet. If they succeeded, there would be no more traveling to Earth or this era you live in. The tunnels would be severely disrupted in the nearby systems that were directly connected. This was an attempt to curtail Pan’s mushroom spore distribution at the source and to ground Earth jumpers onto their home planet. Okay, Earthlings could have the knowledge of the gods, but Pan’s enemies weren’t going to allow it to spread anymore.”

  “This is really too much.” The magnitude of what was being revealed to me was unnerving. A war between gods and I’m personally involved? “What do you need me for? I mean, Pan and you guys seem more than capable.”

  “When Pan told us he had observed you as a young child who could tunnel-see without having eaten magic mushrooms, we knew you were somehow related to the tunnel wars. Anyone who physically tunnel-jumps, whether it’s a bug or an elephant or a human, has always been a psilocybin mushroom eater, so you
were an anomaly of great interest.” Steel stood and stepped close to me, then lowered his face to mine, like a viper hypnotizing its victim before it strikes. “We’ve discovered you have the mental stamina, despite looming madness and utter disorientation, to persist for years, unravelling bits of mystery that will never be fully answered.”

  I gripped the arms of my chair. “I feel more like I’m being used.”

  Steel’s breath slithered across my face. His skin smelled like frozen metal.

  “All your choices are your own. You have been affected by the tunnel collapse. The violence of that moment pulls on you. Your responses have led you to Pan, to discovering magic, to here. We believe you are slowly opening yourself up to answer why you are who you are.” His neck snapped up and his nostrils flared. The tip of his forked tongue slipped between thin dry lips.

  Amelia put her drink down cautiously, her expression wary. “Sheoblask’s destroying of the bridge today is similar to his involvement in the tunnel explosion.”

  “What do you mean?” I hesitated as I took another drag off my cigarette and blew out a cloud of smoke without drawing it into my lungs.

  “The feathers coming out of the sky over the Caribbean beach, the encounter between Steel and Pigeon in the alley, and the time tunnels becoming impassable were all consequences of a blitzing sneak attack by Sheoblask. The ambush was a violent new tactic by Pan’s enemies. Today, he ripped apart an earthbound bridge, but the common denominator is you. You weren’t the target of the alley foray, but perhaps you were a magnet. Today, he demonstrated his intentions regarding you.” Her eyes wandered to the room entranceway, then settled on me sternly. “Sheoblask is a demi-god with powerful abilities. He is sharpening his focus on you. Your earlier run-in with one of his children, Filomena, was a probe of your psyche, your physical strengths, and your vulnerabilities.”