Bittersweet Deceit

by Blakely Bennett

  “I save it for special occasions and for wooing the ladies.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “You can be quite amusing when you want to be.”

  “Why thank you very much.”

  We sat in silence as I accepted a bite of the scallops that Stay held out to me.

  “Ohhh,” I moaned, “That’s divine.”

  I did something I had never done before. We ate off each other’s plate and I immensely enjoyed myself.

  “I’m full,” I said, scooting my chair back from the table.

  Stay took me completely by surprise when he asked, “What is it about Mason?” His golden-brown eyebrows clinched in the middle, altering his usually playful demeanor.

  “Well, um, truthfully, I’ve never been so drawn in by a person in my life.”

  He shifted his chair to the side. “Great chemistry doesn’t always mean a great match. Sometimes it’s the exact opposite.”

  “I don’t see how talking about Mason is going to get us anywhere.”

  “Maybe not, but you’re worth more, Lainie. A lot more. Are you ready to get out of here?”

  “I still need to change and my clothes are in the car.”

  “We can do it on the way.”

  “Okay.”

  “Thank you very much for dinner,” I said, after Stay paid the bill.

  “It’s truly been my pleasure.” He held out my short-cropped, leather jacket and helped me into it. He folded his coat over his arm and took my hand.

  And I let him.

  When our hands clasped, his larger palm fit perfectly against mine. We ran across the street back to the car. The night had chilled so we left the convertible top up.

  Once on the highway, heading north again, I asked, “Where are we going to stop to change?”

  “We aren’t stopping.”

  “What do you mean?” I turned in the seat to face him.

  “I figured you could change in the car.”

  “You must be joking.”

  He glanced over at me and said, “Not at all.”

  “I guess I can leave the dress on. Is this your attempt to see me naked?”

  “When I’m ready to have you naked underneath me, you’ll know it.”

  My clit twitched and I wanted to smack him and myself.

  “Come on, OCDC, what’s the big deal? Shimmy your jeans up under your dress. I’m sure I’ll see less of your nipples under your bra than I saw in the little shirt you wore to bed the other night.”

  “Stayman, you’re incorrigible!”

  “I want you, Lainie. I’m half hard every time you are even in the same room with me and it’s not just sex I want. I want to peel away the layers all the way down to your soul. Just give me the chance.”

  I didn’t respond to him, instead I grabbed my bag from the back seat and pulled out my jeans. After taking off my jacket, I lifted up my long dress until the hem was mid-thigh. Scooting my butt to the edge of the seat, I yanked on the pant loops until my stretch jeans were at my hips. Then I bounced until I brought them up to my waist. When finally zipped and buttoned, I took out my T-shirt, which had a steampunk, geisha graphic.

  I peeked over at Stay and then quickly pulled my dress over my head and the T-shirt on. Changing out of my sandals into my books presented no problem. Happy with myself, I rested back and pulled the seat belt across me again.

  “See how easy that was?” he said, driving down the ramp off of I-95. “Sexy bra, by the way.”

  Ignoring him, I said, “When are you going to change?”

  “In the parking lot. We should be there soon and have plenty of time to make it to our seats.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Give Me Love

  by Ed Sheeran

  After shoving some cash into my pocket, I placed my clutch in the glove box and waited outside the car while Stay changed into jeans. The solid green T-shirt he put on made the blue of his eyes even more intense. The boots he wore with the suit, worked with the jeans too.

  As we strolled toward the Cruzan Amphitheatre entrance to see Ed Sheeran, his hand slipped into mine his fingers curling around my hand.

  “That T-shirt is killer. Do you sell that in your boutique too?”

  “Yes, I get most of my clothes from there. The owner gives me a good deal.”

  “Very funny.”

  “I’m terribly funny. Terribly really.”

  He laughed with me and handed over the tickets to the concert staff guy.

  We checked out the T-shirts and I bought a plum color one with a photograph of Ed Sheeran, filling up most the front. His hands covered the bottom portion of his face, fingers spread on either sides of his eyes.

  “I would have gotten that for you,” Stay said as he pulled me along to the front of the arena.

  “I know but I didn’t want you to. Tenth row? You got tickets for seats in the tenth row? How? I can never manage anything on the floor.”

  “I’m resourceful.”

  “Huh.” I scanned around and watched all the fans finding their seats or spreading out their blankets on the lawn past the overhang and main seating. Had I expressed what I felt in that moment, I would have thrown my arms out and spun around like a little kid. I loved concerts and had never been so close to the stage at such a large venue. I couldn’t suppress my smile.

  “Damn, Lainie, when you smile like that I can barely resist taking you into my arms and ravishing your mouth.”

  “Well, I don’t—” I started to say.

  The announcer introduced the opening band and I squealed. “You didn’t tell me Passenger was opening! They do one of my favorite songs.”

  “I love this side of you, OCDC. I might have to change your nickname. I can see how you must have looked as a young kid, full of joy and sharing it out with the world. It’s my new goal in life to help you feel like this often.”

  I looked over at Stay and wondered what the hell he saw in me, but I started to be glad he did. “Thank you,” I said and then jumped up and cheered when Passenger came on stage.

  The concert past in the blur and when Ed began to play Drunk in Love we hopped up and danced. Surprisingly Stay had great rhythm and some moves too. I knew my cheeks would be sore the next day from all the smiling.

  For his encore, Ed Sheeran played the song everyone waited for, Give Me Love. The audience stood, arms in the air, swaying back and forth.

  The moving moment caused my eyes to fill with tears. When I looked over at Stay, I caught him watching me. He touched my cheek and we stared at each other for a moment. When it became too acute, I broke away and continued to sway to the music.

  Once the song ended, we made our way out of the arena.

  “That was incredible,” I said as we walked to Stay’s antique Corvette. I spun around and walked backward a few steps. “Thank you so much, I had a blast. I could see the stage so well and the music was just incredible.”

  “It was my pleasure.”

  “Let’s take down the top for the drive home,” I said once we had gotten to the car.

  We drove in silence for part of the way and I let myself bask in the music playing on the stereo and wind blowing through my hair. It was almost like after an orgasm and not wanting the feeling to leave too soon. I didn’t think about Mason or even Stay per se but just the incredible night. I hadn’t had so much fun in a long time.

  Before I could stop myself, I reached out and brushed my hand over Stay’s head. I could see by the expression on his face that I’d taken him by surprise.

  “Are you letting your hair grow back in?”

  “I’m thinking about it. What do you think? Oh, no, don’t stop,” he said when I pulled my hand back.

  “It’s a gorgeous golden brown and so soft like this. I’ve been wondering what it felt like.”

  “It feels incredible.”

  His damn smile just about rendered me speechless. I turn back to face the front and watched the night pass us by. After we were about halfway back to my shop, I said, “
I need to pee.”

  He turned down the radio and said, “Want me to pull off the highway?”

  “I hate gas station bathrooms. I’d use one in a restaurant, but I don’t know what’s still open around here.”

  “Me either. Let’s go to my place and you can go there.”

  “That’s a really bad idea. I’ll just hold it.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, OC, I’ll behave this one time.”

  “If you promise.”

  “I promise.”

  He drove into a garage under a nine-story, multilevel, modern condominium with blue, tinted windows and balcony railings.

  “Holy shit, you live here?”

  “Yes. I don’t take to driving into random buildings and parking.” He laughed.

  He pushed seven when we got to the elevator.

  When he let us into his place, I forgot about peeing. “Holy shit.”

  “You said that already. Would you mind taking your shoes off by the door?”

  I took in the shoe shelf by the entrance. “You do that too?”

  “I’m not sure we do it for the same reason.”

  “Oh?” I said and bent over to remove my ankle boots.

  “I assume you have people remove their shoes to keep your place clean, right?”

  I nodded.

  “For me it is more symbolic of leaving the outside energy at the door.”

  “That’s interesting.” My eyes scanned the place and I said, “I really didn’t know you at all, did I?” I glanced over to him and he gave me a sheepish grin.

  The main space had cream color walls and big, square, beige, speckled tiles covering the floor. A four piece set of comfortable looking, plush, dark brown couches sat around a large, square coffee table. Shelving filled with books, lined the right wall. No TV. On the left sat a four-top glass table. I walked toward the big sliding glass doors and could make out a large balcony and a view of the water below.

  “Bathroom?” he asked.

  “Oh, yes please.”

  He led me to a half bath near the front door.

  “Thanks,” I said and closed the door behind me. Who the hell is this guy? I would have never guessed he had money. Could his grandmother be rich? I didn’t get that impression. After washing my hands, I tried my best to smooth out my wild hair, an after effect of driving with the top down.

  When I emerged from the bathroom, Stay asked, “Want to see the rest of the place or should we get going?”

  “I’d love to see the rest. You must make a fortune on designing virtual games.” I followed him into kitchen and whistled. “Jacqs would be in heaven.” Granite countertops, wood cabinets with long stainless steel handles, and ultra-modern appliances.

  “Game animation is now more of a hobby to keep me busy. About ten years ago, a buddy of mine and I designed a game that got purchased by a large gaming company.” He led me to what had to be the master bedroom and continued, “I sunk a bunch of the money into this place and my retirement. The condo’s not nearly worth what I paid for it.”

  “Must be nice to have such an incredible view of the Intracoastal.”

  A large window filled up half of the outside wall in his bedroom. He had a king size bed, a small end table next to it, matching chest of drawers, and a dresser. Against the opposite wall sat a light gray couch/chair that looked more like a wave, higher at one end, swooping down, and then slightly curved up on the other end. The thin couch seemed to be designed to hold a single person lounging in the concave middle.

  “I like the dark gray walls. And what’s this?” I asked, sitting down on the very cushioned furniture too narrow to be a couch.

  “I hope I get to show you and soon.”

  “Excuse me?” I said but I assumed it had something to do with sex because of his comment. “And who is this big boy?” I reached down to pick up a very large cat that rubbed up against my legs.

  “That’s Rusty. He’s a Burmese and quite the talker. Isn’t that true,” he said to the cat that meowed in response.

  “I’ve never seen this rust color fur before, and the yellow eyes. He’s gorgeous.” I rubbed behind his ears and then placed him back down on the floor.

  Next he showed me a guest room that contained a murphy bed. “Bond crashes here sometimes.”

  I nodded as we moved along.

  “I should probably prepare you—”

  “To see a room?”

  He opened it and I understood.

  The largest bedroom contained three distinct spaces. On right stood a large, wooden desk with a hutch, which held two computers: a laptop and a large desktop screen. The back left corner held an altar with a Buddha effigy in the lotus position, candles, various stones, and a matt laying in front of it. Two posters framed in black hung above the altar: a poster illustrating the seven chakras and another showing the sun salutation yoga poses. My eyes shot across to the last area where he had two guitars, a keyboard, and a stereo system. A comfy looking chair sat between the altar and the music area.

  Papers littered his desk; stacks of books lined the wall near the altar. Like his Prius, this room needed a good vacuuming.

  “I don’t let the cleaners in here.”

  I could tell and didn’t say anything about it.

  “Well?”

  “You meditate and do yoga? You play guitar and keyboards?”

  “Yes, I started meditating when I got sober and have been doing yoga for a few years now. It beats lifting weights.”

  “You look like that from yoga? Dude, yoga does the body good,” I said and I meant it.

  “I also run a few times a week.”

  “Huh,” I said, nodding. I followed him into the living room and we sat on a couch facing each other.

  “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “I would love a glass of water. Thanks.”

  He returned with two waters and handed me one.

  After taking a sip, I placed my glass on the coffee table. “And the instruments?”

  “When I hear a song I love, I like to learn how to play it. I’m not great on either but I can get by. Do you play any instruments?”

  “No unless you count singing in the shower or in the car with the music blaring. Sam and I occasionally sing at work when there are no customers.”

  He reached out and touched my knee.

  His warmth invaded my senses. I didn’t ask him to move his palm. I stared down at the veins on the back of his masculine hand, wanting to trace the lines they made. Instead, I swallowed hard and said, “This was a great night. Thank you so much for dinner and the concert.”

  “And my good company?” His deep voice didn’t sound mocking or joking, it was sincere.

  “Yes.” I knew we should head back to the shop so I could drive home but I didn’t want the night to end. “I’m sure I’ll regret admitting this but it’s really easy to be with you. I don’t feel that way with many people.”

  He didn’t smile. Instead he held out his arms and I moved into his embrace.

  We sat quietly like that for a while, his energy wrapped around me.

  I sighed into his chest, not wanting to move.

  He wore no cologne that I could detect and his masculine scent was as stimulating and calming as his energy. Somehow he managed to relax me and turn me on at the same time. He had slipped under my wall of self-protection like a mist through the cracks in the foundation.

  He ran his hand over my hair and down my back and I felt as safe as I did in my father’s arms. Stay would never hurt me, of that I felt convinced. I wasn’t sure I could say that about myself in his case.

  “I have to get home,” I whispered.

  “I don’t want you to go. Spend the night in my arms.”

  I slanted my head up, still in his embrace and said, “Stay, I don’t want to hurt you. I’m in love with someone else. As much as I would enjoy what you’re offering, I can’t.”

  “He won’t be there for you the way I can.”

  “I know. Lo
ve isn’t always logical as you yourself know. I don’t know what else to say.”

  “Spend the night anyway. Just sleeping and I’ll take you back to your car in the morning.”

  “I have plans tomorrow at nine.”

  “I see.”

  The silence and his energy shift made me want to cry. I had never known any person whose energy felt so full and all encompassing. I believed he could actually sense information from people because his heart was so open, like a conduit and a receptor.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, sadness casting a shadow over us both. I pulled away and he let me go.

  We drove to the boutique in silence, the distance between us palpable.

  My heart ached for Stay and yet I wanted to be with Mason. Why I felt so committed to a relationship that had no future made no sense. I could see that, but couldn’t stop it, and I really didn’t want to. Mason lived as an enigma, so worldly, and sexy, and not like anyone I ever thought I would get the chance to be with. He rocked my world and I had accepted what came with that, all the costs.

  Along with the pleasures Mason had brought to me, it was a lonely relationship. It’s not like I’d had blinders on. I could see it for what it was and that it had a short shelf life. Why couldn’t have Stay waited? Why now? Maybe we could have been something to each other if he had only waited. I had never seen the potential between us before, but I clearly hadn’t known him.

  “I’m sorry,” I said again silently.

  Once he parked in the back of the shop, I gathered my belongings and walked around to his side of the car. He stepped out and stood in front of me.

  “Thank you again,” I said, searching his eyes, hoping that friendship still existed for us. “I had a wonderful time.”

  “I did too.”

  The awkward silence made me uncomfortable. I put my stuff on the front of the car and stepped closer to him. “You’re a great guy, Stay. Really.”

  “I know my worth. Someday I hope you know your own.”

  I searched his eyes and saw heaviness there, the same feeling that overwhelmed my heart. It felt like a final goodbye, not like ‘see you soon’.

  He took me into his arms and I melded against him. We rocked for a moment and then he whispered, “I hope you change your mind.”