‘What is it?’ her husband replied reluctantly, still playing with his phone not too far away.
‘Help me!’ exclaimed Linda, who clearly didn’t know how to restrain her son.
‘With what?’ Edvard protested, frowning and preferring to lie down among the olive trees rather than restore family harmony.
Before Linda had even answered him, Grandma Katarina ran to her rescue. ‘Anže! Anže!’ she called, and started sticking her tongue out at the little boy. Why she made these gestures remained to be seen, but at least she succeeded in making the child let go of his mum and set himself upon his grandma.
Once again it wasn’t clear to Matjaž whether he was pulling her hair with an unrefined affection or whether it was merely excitement over the fact that he was hurting his grandma. ‘Gosh boy, you’re so strong!’ chuckled Katarina helplessly. ‘Wow, you’re so strong. OK, stop it now. You’re hurting grandma. Listen, listen!’ she pleaded with the boy, who was setting upon all the unprotected parts of his grandmother, from her hair and her ears to her nose. So much so that she soon started shouting, ‘Edvard, Edvard, come here, come here. This one clearly needs a male hand.’ Then she turned back to Anže saying, ‘Stop darling, that’s enough, darling, listen, darling, you’re hurting me, darling!’
‘Edvard, are you even listening? Your child is beating your mother!’ yelled Linda nervously. Edvard finally got up and, looking rather irritated, started rushing towards Anže. As soon as the boy saw him he let go of his grandma and ran off. This obviously angered his father even more, as now he sprinted after the boy into the woods. Only the pine trees would know how much of a hiding Anže’s backside received.
The gathered company of wedding guests only cast a glance at Brigita and Matjaž before quickly returning to their conversations. Evridika, however, took notice of Brigita – and the handsome young man beside her.
‘Brigita! Come over here, won’t you, and introduce us to your companion?’
‘He’s not my –’ Brigita began, but Matjaž immediately silenced her by stepping towards Evridika and politely saying, ‘You must be Grandma Evridika – I’ve heard so much about you!’
‘Really? I’ve heard absolutely nothing about you, young sir,’ she replied.
‘Please, there’s no need to address me so formally, it makes me very uneasy,’ he said, bowing ever so slightly.
‘Brigita,’ Granny Evridika said sternly. ‘How could you keep quiet about such a handsome and respectful young man? Stojan! Stojan!’ She roared across her table to the neighbouring one and interrupted her son, who had just started to unfurl his global-conspiracy theory. Brigita had turned slightly pale.
‘Not now, mum, I’m just explaining to Zofija and Katarina about how the Jews are still draining everything in this world and beyond. Same with black people, obviously, but that’s another story!’
‘You won’t mind then if I keep this young man to myself? A very sturdy boy, just right for our Brigita,’ Evridika giggled.
This obviously caught Stojan’s attention. ‘Which young man?’ he asked, and looked suspiciously at Matjaž. ‘Aaahh, there he is. Come right here, come right here, boy, let me take a look at you,’ said the father with an inspecting look on his face. ‘I didn’t think it was true. No, really I didn’t. Right here!’
Brigita, shuddering with horror, ran up to her father and said, ‘Dad, Dad, this is all just one –’
Matjaž interrupted her again. ‘Sir, I’ve heard all good things about you from Brigita,’ he said, offering his hand.
‘Well, that’s hard to believe,’ grinned Stojan. ‘Why don’t you just come and sit yourself down here and tell me how you two met each other.’
Again Brigita opened her mouth, but Matjaž intercepted her words. ‘Ah, in a graveyard.’
‘A graveyard?’ Stojan asked, confused.
‘Yes, a few months ago she was sitting in there and I was taking photographs, because I’m a photographer,’ Matjaž said. He pointed at his camera, as if to convince her father that he knew what he was talking about.
‘And then?’ Stojan was curious.
‘Yes, so of course your daughter didn’t want me to take photos of her, but I thought she looked so beautiful next to this grave, with a book in her hand.’ He only just managed to refrain from mentioning the author.
‘And then?’ asked Brigita’s father, becoming impatient, while his daughter meanwhile looked around for someone or something to save her.
‘Then we fell out, because she didn’t want to be in the photographs.’
‘Of course you fell out, that’s our Brigita,’ Stojan said, with good intentions. He lovingly patted his daughter, who was standing beside him, on the arm. ‘Well, anyway. What happened then?’ he asked with interest.
‘Well, sir, for a long time there was nothing – only, how should I put this, the odd bit of friendly contact here and there.’
‘More there,’ Matjaž heard Brigita’s barely audible remark, which made him slightly stumble over his words. Sonja, who had in the meantime sat down with Lovro at her father’s table, came to his rescue.
‘Come on, Dad, you can imagine how it went. Don’t embarrass poor Matjaž. Besides, he promised to take a few pictures of us before the ceremony, so release him from your clutches!’
‘Release him from my clutches? Are you mad? Anka, Anka have you heard this? Our youngest daughter brings a young man to a wedding, I’ve barely been introduced to him and now I’m supposed to leave him be! Honestly!’ Stojan said, getting worked up.
‘But Daddy, this is my wedding and I’d like to have some pictures.’
‘Pft, wedding! As if this is anything of the sort. People get married every day.’ Stojan said dismissively. In a slightly more affectionate tone he added, ‘Now, the fact that a man loves Brigita – now that is an event!’
‘Thanks, Daddy,’ Brigita remarked sarcastically under her breath.
‘That’s enough, Stojan,’ Anka finally intervened. ‘Leave Matjaž to go with the bride and groom for a while. We have to go and take our seats for the ceremony anyway.’ She knew her daughters well enough – and her husband even better – to understand how quickly things could escalate.
Brigita led Matjaž away by the arm and pulled him to one side. Whispering angrily, she demanded, ‘What is wrong with you? What do you think you’re doing?’
Matjaž didn’t understand her reaction. ‘What are you getting angry for? I was trying to make things easier for you. After that you can think what you like!’
‘Make it easier, seriously? You have no idea how many months of nagging await me because of what you’ve just done. And what is going to happen when after you not a single man steps foot in his house ever again?’
‘At least they’ll all know who was to blame for your complete transformation,’ Matjaž smiled in embarrassment. Then Sonja and Lovro approached them, and Matjaž went with them towards the woods while Brigita, clearly dissatisfied, went to join her family.
If anyone were to judge the wedding and festivities by the photographs that Matjaž took in the woods and during the ceremony, they’d likely conclude that it was a magical day full of happy people who loved one another. As much as that held true for the bride and groom, who at some point just stopped concerning themselves with difficult friends and relatives, the true picture of the event was altogether very different.
The adults held it together reasonably well during the ceremony; the women cried fairly intensely while the men – with the exception of Drago, who enjoyed a good procession – found it all a bit much. Sonja’s girlfriends were still hiding behind their sunglasses and Eva kept looking at Leon while the registrar was speaking, as if trying to sense whether he was moved by the words. Leon was meanwhile looking at her admiringly, which the annoying bridesmaid took as confirmation of her suspicions. Brigita was unusually unsettled, and she didn’t know where those feelings were coming from. She had never really had any particular feelings towards the institution of marriage
, perhaps other than critical ones, but now she was affected by every single element.
The two grandmas sat together and provided a commentary on proceedings to one another. Katarina commended Lovro and praised Sonja’s dress; the other commended Sonja and complimented Lovro on his good posture. Samo, meanwhile, was barely managing to stand up, and on a couple of occasions it seemed to Brigita as if he had to really try to stop himself from being sick. That’d be an appropriate response, she smiled to herself.
The first few moments of the ceremony were precious, as not long afterwards Anže became restless and decided that the stunning location for this ritual was actually his playground. Everyone apart from Sonja and Lovro found it difficult to concentrate on the wedding ceremony, as they tried to ignore the troublesome child who could not be restrained by his mother. Anže’s father just looked on at the situation angrily and shouted alternately at his wife and son in whispers, ‘Learn how to restrain that monster, will you?’
‘Why don’t you restrain him, he’s your son, too,’ Linda snapped back at him.
‘Shhh!’ could be heard from the assembled crowd; that is, until Eva shrieked loudly – this time Anže had crept up behind her and pinched her bottom.
‘That’s enough now!’ roared Edvard. He tried discreetly to hunt Anže down within the crowd of wedding guests without bothering anyone, but he didn’t exactly succeed.
In the meantime Anže began terrorizing the remaining targets. He pinched Špela and Zala too, stole Samo’s hanky from his trouser pocket, tugged at Brigita’s dress, pulled rude faces at Dragica and Drago and stuck out his tongue at his grandma. He even tried to start on the bride and groom, but the fierce stares of the registrar and the approaching figure of his father deterred him from making further mischief.
Most people heard the lovers’ fateful ‘I do’ and the registrar’s conclusion that they were now husband and wife before Edvard grabbed Anže and carried him out – something that was, of course, impossible to do without the child screeching wildly. No, none of the background or foreground activity was picked up by the camera, nor did it catch the sound of Matjaž’s phone vibrating in his pocket during the culminating moment, signalling a call from Aleksander and then a subsequent curious and mildly obscene text message.
Nor did the photos capture the essence of the event after the official part of the wedding. Matjaž made a record with his camera of all the family members and friends coming to congratulate the newlyweds. The first to approach them were both pairs of parents. ‘Congratulations, truly, from the heart. May fortune favour both of you!’ said Anka.
‘Well, fortune, or may you both know how to be patient and loving and build the best possible future for yourselves!’ Zofija asserted wisely.
Stojan squeezed Lovro’s hand and said, ‘If God is gracious and the two of you are gracious to him, you will tread a good path, full of descendants of mine.’ Then he turned to Sonja piously. ‘And don’t you forget about God, so he doesn’t forget about you.’
‘This man of yours is perhaps a sign that he’s already forgotten about you,’ Borut said cynically, squeezing Sonja’s hand. Zofija protested furiously.
Leon hugged his brother. ‘Nice one, mate! That’s how it’s done.’ While he hugged Sonja he whispered, ‘Be patient with him, he’s a good guy, you know.’
‘What about our gift?’ his new sister-in-law mischievously asked him.
‘Hm.’ Leon felt awkward. ‘I said to Lovro that we’d sort that out in Ljubljana. I’ve just had so much on recently …’
‘It’s fine, it’s fine,’ said Sonja. ‘I’m only saying it to embarrass you.’
‘Yeah right it’s fine!’ Brigita could be heard saying, as she came to congratulate her sister and her new husband. ‘Had so much on that you didn’t have time to buy a gift, did you?’ she yapped.
Leon had just started smirking when Sonja jumped in. ‘Brigita, it’s fine. Have you never heard that it’s good to be surrounded by friends and family with guilty consciences? We’re going to make the most of that with Leon.’
The next moment she was hugging her sister, then bringing Lovro in, too. ‘You two are, you two are …’ she managed to say, and then could barely hide her tears.
‘For you!’ Brigita said, and handed them an envelope.
‘What’s this?’ Sonja was moved.
‘A weekend by the sea – I thought you’d both need a rest after this holiday,’ she explained. ‘What did the parents get you, by the way?’ Brigita asked.
‘Nothing,’ said Lovro. ‘I think amid today’s confusion they forgot about presents.’
‘Strange, very strange. I’ll remind them how these things work,’ Brigita muttered to herself.
Samo came over to give them a hug, squeezing Sonja first and then Lovro. The only thing he could say was, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry!’ Lovro gave him a friendly pat and then sent him to rest on a nearby bench.
The girls were next in line. ‘You look so beautiful!’ said Zala, trying to squeeze some life out of herself.
‘Congratulations, guys!’ said Špela, unable to find anything profound to say.
‘What on earth happened to you two last night? You don’t look yourselves at all,’ Sonja asked them, half jokingly. ‘Did you get on well with Samo?’
The two girls started fidgeting and making excuses about how everything was always a bit different by the sea. In the end Zala admitted that a large part of the evening was lost to them both, so they didn’t actually know what they did or who they did it with. However, Špela did seem to think that their neighbour, who Brigita’s mum kept calling Stipe for some unknown reason, had phoned her quite a few times.
‘Yeah, what’s his real name then?’ Sonja asked.
‘Stipe?’ Zala said, giving a surly smile. A few words were also spent explaining how they’d left their gift in the apartment amid all the confusion, and expressing their deepest apologies. Sonja understood, of course, but it seemed to Brigita as if no one had taken this wedding seriously enough. She didn’t get the opportunity to yell at them, though, as Drago and Dragica had already crept up to the chief couple. They’d waited very patiently to shake hands with them and give them an envelope, obviously crammed with money. ‘Treat yourselves to something nice!’ they said. Sonja and Lovro thanked them, and at the same time Sonja whispered in their ears that she was happy to have some normal relatives, too.
As if she’d overheard, Eva sidled up beside them, gushing, ‘Oh you look so beautiful, you can’t see that button at all. God, it really has been concealed well. And Lovro, such a handsome man. You can be happy you’ve found each other. Congratulations, really. From the heart. I’m so happy that you made up yesterday. I mean so what if Sonja’s lazy, and so what if Lovro’s a bit weird. If you love each other, everything works itself out, everything puts itself right. Congratulations, really.’
‘And what about a gift?’ Sonja smiled spitefully, with a similar agenda as she’d had with Leon.
‘I thought my Dad had already sent you our family present,’ said Eva, playing dumb.
‘No, I haven’t received it yet,’ Sonja answered coldly.
‘Hm, it’s probably waiting for you at home,’ her cousin blushed.
‘What is it?’ Sonja enquired.
‘Hm, something wooden.’
‘I hope it’s not utensils,’ said the bride.
‘Why not – maybe it’s time you learned to cook,’ Eva smiled vindictively.
‘Or beat things,’ Sonja added, but her cousin was already heading over towards the other guests. ‘That one’s already getting on my nerves,’ the new bride remarked.
Standing beside her sister, Brigita was also caught in the shower of all the relatives’ possible wise and congratulatory remarks. She huffed rather loudly and rolled her eyes at Eva.
Grandma Evridika also got on Brigita’s nerves with her speech on God’s prudence and generosity, on the miracle of birth and the roles of mother and wife. No one was surprised when Sonja
received as a wedding gift from this grandmother a very special lacy apron that had been passed down between women in the family for generations. However, along with the teachings according to Grandma Evridika, Lovro received a five-year subscription to Family magazine. ‘You understand, Lovro, don’t you? You know – family, you know,’ the grandma winked.
Granny Katarina didn’t do much better. She was full of good advice from her wedded love life, explaining that she had experimented with her sexuality quite a lot, which had come in handy because her husband was similarly open-minded and there was nothing like marriage to preserve a rich and provocative sexuality. She looked at Sonja, as if wanting her to know what her principal role as a woman was. With this in mind, she had bought Sonja a Thai sex manual, which helped a woman to satisfy her man. ‘Because we also know that things can cool off sometimes,’ she winked. She then placed a small bottle in Lovro’s hand, which later transpired to be some sort of aphrodisiac. Sonja and Lovro could only smile sourly, and Brigita rolled her eyes with a particular fervour.
Linda, Edvard and Anže were the last to present their gifts to the newlyweds, and the most reticent of the guests. The gift was a year’s gym membership – you know, health and all that – while Anže had created a doodle for the wedded couple, which his parents presented as the definitive manifestation of modern art. ‘Good luck, yeah!’ Edvard smirked. Linda made an ambiguous remark about children, and just before Sonja and Lovro were able to reply Anže had started pulling both parents away. This was an extremely welcome break, for which Brigita rewarded Anže by secretly pressing a Ferrero Rocher into his hand.
Jela Krecic Page 33