Diary of a Vampeen

by Christin Lovell

  Angrily, I swung open the door before he could lift his hand to knock. Mel shot me an apologetic look, which I quickly acknowledged with a lift of my lips and a quick nod. I knew she tried her best though she shouldn’t have accepted his offer for a ride.

  “What are you doing here?” I lashed at Mike.

  His jaw dropped as he stood there in shock, dismay washing away his annoyance with Mel’s previous words. He stumbled to collect himself. “Lex… uh… oh… Is… Is that you?” he choked.

  “Yes Mike, it’s me,” I answered regretfully.

  “I… Wow! You look… damn! You look…wow!” he stuttered.

  “So I’ve been told,” I answered robotically with a bit of malice. The anger slowly drained from me. Seeing his reaction, recalling the purity in his intentions, I felt the slightest twinge of guilt. It quickly left when he pulled me in for a kiss. Thank God for my new speed. I diverted his attempt, swinging past him to alleviate Mel’s arms hidden by at least ten bags.

  “Thanks,” she smiled.

  “Kellan, can you help Mel take this stuff to my room?” I called louder than necessary, playing to the human role. “I’ll meet you in my room in a sec.”

  “Are you sure you’re ok with him Lex?” Mel whispered.

  “I’ll be fine,” I assured as she shuffled through the door. Mike had already made his way inside. As I entered behind Mel, I instantly caught the heated glares exchanging between Kellan and Mike. I knew they hadn’t spoken a word, yet if looks could kill, they’d both be dead. The red ring of rage surrounding Kellan’s iris seemed to ignite as Mike’s retaliating stare bore empty hatred in return.

  Mel wasn’t oblivious either. “Here Kellan,” she prompted handing him a few bags. I piled mine swiftly atop hers in his now full arms.

  “What do you have in here?” he asked mindlessly.

  “Just some stuff for the party,” she smiled wryly as she leapt up the stairs.

  As soon as they disappeared, Mike pressed for answers. “What happened to you Lex? How did this happen?”

  “I can’t tell you how. I don’t even understand myself,” I replied placating him with the truth.

  “And him! Don’t think I didn’t notice his absence from school too. What the hell did you two do?! I know he’s touched you!”

  “Calm down Mike. Kellan and I are just friends. And he did come with me on vacation but it was my mother, not me, that invited him,” I explained. I tried to reason with his logic, sooth his overly jealous exterior bubbling with anxiety.

  I knew this wouldn’t be easy. I knew he wouldn’t surrender me without a fight, but I was seeing it would conjure a war with several battles now.

  “I don’t care who invited him. You should have thrown him off the boat. I’m your boyfriend not that prick! Do you understand me?!” he yelled inching his way towards me. He appeared ready to hit me at any second with his clenched fists and snarling breathes. Fury was definitely about to explode from him physically.

  I didn’t care though. I wasn’t weak anymore; no one could talk to me like that. “No Mike. I don’t understand you. You can’t disrespect me like that, treat me like a sinner and expect me to look at you with adoration! I’m done. I’m breaking up with you. We are no more so you can go boss some other girl around.” The words flew out of my mouth like an arrow of attacks with intent to kill.

  His hand released from the balls of rage they were. His face softened to a fault and all the anger left him to coddle me with charm. “You’re… you’re not serious, right? You’re kidding, right Lex?” he stuttered taking my hand in his, unleashing his adoration on me in hopes of my weakness.

  It was working. I sighed looking away. Stay strong Lexi! You can’t give in. Remember Kellan.

  “No, I’m serious,” I replied softly.

  Within two seconds, his anger returned with a dangerous vengeance. He threw down my arm violently. “What the hell does he have that I don’t?! Nothing! Absolutely nothing! You’re stupid. If you pick that jerk over me, then you’re blind and dumb!”

  “I never said anything about dating Kellan! And I just broke up with you; I don’t have to explain anything!” I replied, rebelling against his ignorant coercion of sorts. My blood was curdling; my body reacting to my defense with an unruly thirst. My hands were beginning to shake as I attempted to control myself. Had I been a werewolf, I would have shifted by now. I wanted to lunge at his neck, to shred him.

  He’s being irrational Lexi. Don’t blow your cover over the ignorance and impulsion that soaks him.

  “You need to leave,” I ordered as I held the front door open for him.

  “I’m not going anywhere. He needs to leave, not me! You’re mine!” he declared slamming the door and pushing me against the wall. Pressing with all his strength to my shoulders, and standing inches from my face he proclaimed again, “You’re mine. All mine, you got me?”

  I felt his warm breathe in my face; his arms were clenching my shoulders as if he longed to crush my bones. I knew had I been human still, I would have been injured by now. He would have physically abused me, tortured me into surrender of his will. He was insane, clearly delusional in attempting to intimidate me into staying with him. I wasn’t human though. I glared back, unharmed by his attempt though I was angry with myself for ever considering this boy so seriously as a contender.

  “You think you can get all sexy and leave me behind? It’s not happening Lex. You’re my girlfriend. I’m not leaving you, and you’re certainly not leaving me,” he stated softly yet firmly. He reminded me of the Joker – controlled, delusional, and psychotic with a bit of charm about him and a love of mind games. I couldn’t allow that to deter my revulsion though. If I was still human, I would be in agonizing pain. I couldn’t forget that. My head had smacked the wall with his pounce; his hands were visibly attempting to displace my shoulders. He couldn’t get away with such behavior.

  I was battling my instincts to drain him. The serum was now burning, rising and heaving in my throat. The rage of a victim was raising my adrenaline levels, setting me off on a destructive tangent. I could easily break him the way he was trying to break me.

  He gave one final slam against me, “Mine,” he stated with finality.

  I broke his hold, lifted my arms between his forcing outwards in defense. His arms flew out. He looked at me in shock, fear creeping into his expression. He realized I was stronger than he calculated.

  I heard Kellan fly down the stairs. Faster than a bullet he was yanking Mike’s arm towards the door. He began to jerk back but Kellan stood his ground.

  “What the hell happened to you Lex?! What the fuck are you?!” he yelled.

  Little did he know he hit the mark. I stood watching Kellan dismiss Mike like a club bouncer.

  “I am anything but yours,” I scowled. My jaw was set, teeth clenched and body rigid.

  “This is not over! You will be mine!” he declared still fighting Kellan’s hold.

  “Didn’t your mother ever teach you to respect a woman?” Kellan snapped with calm yet sinister disgust.

  Mike cockily replied, “Apparently your mother never told you not to screw another guy’s girl. Then again she probably commits adultery too!”

  Fear jerked to my forefront. I envisioned Kellan breaking Mike in half with one swift move; ripping his arm out of joint with one flicker of negative emotion.

  To my surprise, he dismissed his accusations. He flung him out the door without as much as one word in a response. I stood frozen, stunned by his action or should I say lack of reaction.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m a vampeen. No human can inflict harm on me now, remember?” I smiled.

  He nodded once remaining serious. “Mel’s waiting for you. I’ll be down here if you need anything.”

  Somehow, despite speaking to me, I knew there was a quiet storm below his surface. Though I wanted to embrace him, to kiss him softly in appreciation, I didn’t. I knew he wasn’t approachable right now. Mike didn’t infli
ct physical harm on Kellan, but he did initiate some sort of blow to him. It left me puzzled. It made me realize that despite our connection, despite seeing and knowing most of his past, there was still so much more I had yet to uncover; so many secrets still projecting the same dark mystery over him.

  I ran upstairs as he drifted silently towards the family room. I burst through my door wanting to escape the tension downstairs.

  “O.M.G. Lex! I heard yelling and a thud. Kellan looked pissed like he was trying to control himself! Are you okay? What happened?!” she blurted nervously scurrying to my side.

  I detailed the recent events including the uneasy feeling from Kellan just now.

  “Oh gosh Lex. I’m so sorry,” she murmured.

  “What are you sorry for? It’s not your fault.”

  “No, it is. I brought him here.”

  “Mel, seriously, don’t guilt me with that. It happened. Good news is he’s gone.”

  “Do you think he’s gone for good?” she pressed carefully though I knew she held the conclusion prior.

  “I know he’s not. But I also know he’s gone for now and I’m ready to spend time with my best friend who I haven’t seen in a while,” I smiled. “Now what should I wear tonight?”

  To that Mel cheered up. “O.M.G. Lex, you are going to look fab! Seriously killer. Your aunt bought you a dress to die for! It’s so over the top. Oh and you have a hair appointment at three,” she announced moving towards the bags on the bed.

  “Well what are you waiting for? Let me see it!” I prompted.

  I could only imagine how much Aunt Claire spent and felt nauseous just thinking about it.

  Mel carefully unzipped the white garment bag and held up the dress that was concealed.

  I gasped. It was gorgeous; simple yet intricate with rich fabrics. I could calculate that the dress would fall just above my knees. It was a soft, aqua, silk fabric with a black lace overlay in a beautiful floral pattern with scalloped edging that overhung the silk at the bottom. The neckline was a sweetheart with teal spaghetti straps delicately incorporated. It was a body hugging dress with an over the top piece de resistance. Attached seamlessly was a teal five inch wide chiffon ribbon engulfing the smallest part of my waist.

  As Mel spun the dress I saw it melted in the back as an oversized yet stiff bow when the dress was zipped up. Lying in the center was a gorgeous antique black, gold, and blue rose broach tying in the entire color scheme exquisitely. Its zipper had been concealed by a faux corset button up back.

  This was the type of dress young and fresh European royalty would wear to an event. It’s modern and turn-of-the-century in one design. Even the lace seemed antique set atop the imported silk below.

  “O.M.G. Mel. You weren’t kidding. It’s gorge! But what shoes will I wear?” I asked absently still in awe of the masterpiece before me.

  She pulled out a small shoe box from another bag. Set inside were four-inch high black satin under black lace peep-toe heels. I stood there stunned by my evening’s ensemble. It was beautiful, divine in every way.

  “Told you Jason will fall for you,” Mel finally spoke.

  “Too bad I’ve never had eyes for him.”

  She chuckled, “Yea. You tend to leave that for the other airheads.”

  “Ok, let’s get started,” Mel said dumping a salon worth of make-up on my bathroom counter. “So I’m thinking light smoky eyes, a tiny bit of blush, and pale rose lips.”

  “Sounds perfect.” I quietly set the toilet seat down and planted myself on top of the ceramic lid. Mel began blotching my face with a liquid of some sort. “What are you wearing tonight? Describe your dress,” I prompted.

  “Well, your aunt bought me one too but it’s much simpler than yours. It’s a strapless blue dress that totally gives me boobs. I love your aunt for that one alone! It’s a little shorter than yours but flares out a bit at my boyish hips. Basically the dress actually gives me some curves. I love it!” she gushed excitedly.

  “And shoes?”

  “I have some strappy silver heels.”

  “You’re getting your hair done too right?”

  “Of course. I can’t handle my rats nest alone.”

  “Awesome. What salon are we going to?”

  “No salon. Your aunt is no joke. The stylists are coming here. Oh! And your aunt said no one can see you until the party so I hope you kissed Kellan already.”

  “No, but I’ll survive I suppose. I just hope Mike doesn’t show up and cause a scene tonight,” I stated, praying even as the words left my mouth.

  “Close em’,” Mel commanded, swiping the brush of smoky grey across my lids.

  “So Caleb, is he meeting you there then?”

  “Yea. Pretty much. Your aunt called this morning and I guess she already set everything up because we’re riding together to the party.”

  “What about Kellan?” I felt nervous and longed for him to be beside me even as I asked the question. I felt like I was missing something without him next to me.

  “He’s driving his car,” she shrugged.

  “I love how you know everything. I feel so left out,” I whined.

  “Duh! Cause it’s a surprise party. Technically you shouldn’t even know why you’re dressing up so fancy.”

  “Yea, yea. You almost done?”

  “Hello?! It hasn’t even been twenty minutes. Take a pill and chill. Perfection doesn’t happen in less than twenty.”

  “Humph,” I grumped before resting in silence for a solid ninety-seven seconds as Mel applied piles of eye shadow.

  “Lex, I know I don’t go serious on you a lot, but what do you feel with Kellan? Do you think he’s the one – like your forever guy?” she asked sheepishly. This was odd for her. Mel was never awkward or shy when it came to getting answers from me.

  I sat quietly for a bit reflecting on my feelings for Kellan. I’d never been asked to describe them, to entertain their foundation before. This was a subject I even avoided with myself. I never forced words around what we had; I never pressed to define it.

  “I know I probably will sound crazy, but it’s how they describe it in every romance novel. It’s this instinctual connection that’s unexplainable, yet continually drives me into his arms. Regardless of how much time we spend together, I’m always happy to see him again. Every time he touches me my skin tingles; my heart often sprints when he says my name, even if he’s mad. He’s stronger than me in every way yet makes me feel like his equal, like together the skies hold no limits, no gravitational bars.

  “I think about him, dream about him. He lies in every part of me as if I couldn’t survive without him. I would be an empty pit of hollow bitterness should he no longer exist in my world. My life didn’t have meaning until he came along. It’s like he spelled the definition of it with our first embrace. When he kisses me, not just a peck, but a passionate embrace, it’s better than I believe sex will ever be. We merge on an uncharted level. I’m actually able to hear his thoughts, feel what he’s feeling in that moment. It’s as if the planets align and do a counter-clockwise turn just for us. I feel as if I’m impenetrable; nothing can touch me when I’m wrapped in his arms.

  “I can’t even describe how certain I am that, after feeling all I have with him, nothing could surpass our experience. Nothing and no one could sweep me off my feet with a stronger capsule to carry my interest alone. He brings out the best in me with each part of him he shares. He strengthens my aura simply with his presence. He tugs my heart with even a twist of his lips. I desire every part of him. I want to forever see his dimple when he’s smiling beautifully, hold his hand regardless of the amount of wrinkles upon it. My heart has made it impossible for me to leave him; my mind is always thinking of him. I’m forever tied to this man, yet, I find myself enjoying this sentence.

  “I’ve never had a boyfriend before Mike, never held a man’s interest in this way before so I am new to it all. But if this isn’t love, I don’t think my heart could ever handle an emotion more potent,�
� I smiled mindlessly reflecting the words that poured from me. I was so involved I didn’t even realize Mel had stopped her shadow application. I swung my lids open to see a stunned Mel standing before me. “Told you it would sound crazy,” I commented.

  “Not crazy Lex, just O.M.G! I feel like I need an inhaler. Damn. I can’t even imagine feeling half of what you described. Until now I never even believed in a soul mate, but holy sugar suds if I do now. I hate to say it because I’m super stoked for you but I’m green with oozy envy right now. All I have are my dreams of that; my easily squashable hopes at experiencing an ounce of what you just described,” she sighed.

  “Seriously Mel, it’s even more than I just said, but please don’t be jealous. You are definitely going to find the same. Remember how long I had to wait? It just takes time.”

  “Oh my gosh! Time! What time is it?” she jumped scurrying to glance at the clock on my night stand. She released a sigh of relief stating, “We’re okay. It’s only 2:02.” She continued, “I know you’re right. I told you the same line a million times before, but I don’t want to end up like my parents and I know you and Kellan never will.”

  “Ok. Suck up the sap and let’s move on to a lighter subject. How many people do you think will be there tonight? I feel like I’m preparing for a red carpet event.”

  “I know right?! Umm… My guess is like two hundred,” she said brushing my eyes with shadow again.

  “Two hundred?! That’s a lot of people.” My nerves crept up again. Mike could easily slide in with that size crowd.

  “Flyers, remember?!” she sarcastically reminded me. “That’s okay; you’ll still be the star. Your aunt planned this huge grand entrance for you.”

  “What? You’re joking. Tell me you’re joking Mel. I don’t want to be the star; no lights on me please!”

  “Lex, stop that. It’s your party. You have to be the center of attention; otherwise this whole thing is pointless. Plus, I’m definitely videoing Jason and Jenny’s reaction to you!”