The Roommate Agreement

by Emma Hart

  Mind you, I wasn’t exactly a nice person.

  The drive was made in complete silence. We didn’t even look at each other. It was weird. We always laughed and joked whenever we rode together, but this kind of felt like I was riding to my doom.

  Dramatic, I know, but you don’t write books without the taste for a little drama.

  He pulled into the parking lot next to my car. I jumped out before he’d even killed the engine, and I made my way to the elevator and up to the apartment before him.

  I put my laptop bag and purse on the armchair and readied myself for him to come up. Feet apart, hands on hips—I adopted the universal battle stance for a woman ready to unleash some sass on a man.

  Jay didn’t bat an eyelid when he saw me. Instead, he ignored me completely and walked right past me.

  All right, so it wasn’t as scary as I thought it was.

  Or maybe I just wasn’t that scary.

  Probably the latter. I knew I always shit my pants a little whenever I walked in and saw my mom with her hands on her hips.

  Jay said nothing, now bustling toward the coffee machine. He pulled a mug down and set the machine alive, still ignoring me.

  Was this how annoying I was in Brie’s apartment?

  Wait, no. He wasn’t allowed to do this. He was the one who’d stormed in there, interrupted me mid-sex-scene, and demanded we come home to talk.

  Well, we were home, and he was making a fucking coffee.

  “Well?” I said. “Aren’t you going to tell me how you’re going to fuck me seven ways to Sunday?”

  Jay didn’t respond.

  “Are you still thinking them up? I have to admit; I thought you’d have them written down. Like a prepared speech or something.”

  Still nothing.

  “’Cause now I’m a little curious. I mean, you already mentioned the backseat. One out of ten for originality on that, by the way. Pretty sure everyone did that in high school in some awkward dimly-lit parking lot. Not that I’d know since I stayed a virgin in school, but Brie did enough for the both of us.”

  His shoulder twitched.

  Ah. I was going to have to wind him up until he just came out with it.

  “I have to admit, you really got me thinking about all the places you could have sex and all the ways you can do it. I’m just throwing this out there: butt stuff is off the menu. That is a one-way system, thank you very much.”

  He cricked his neck to the side. Damn it. I thought the mention of butt stuff would do it.

  I perched on the arm of the sofa. “So have you really thought about this or are you blowing smoke up my ass? I’m not a fan of that either, for what it’s worth. One-way street and all that. Are you a doggy-style guy or a missionary? Cowgirl? Sideways missionary? Dang, there’s a whole slew of them, isn’t there? I don’t think I even know more sex positions than that.”

  His upper body rose then fell.

  I was breaking him.

  “Although, now I’m starting to think you were just talking shit. You dragged me home so you could tell me how badly you want to fuck me, but here I am, still waiting, thinking up my own scenarios, yet you haven’t said a word.”

  He gripped the edge of the counter.

  “I guess that was just a threat to bring me home. It was a bad one, as far as threats go. You should have threatened to throw out my laptop or ban my TV shows.” I tapped my finger against my lips. “Especially the laptop. That’s a real threat.” I shuddered. “My poor baby.”

  “Jesus Christ, Shelby, do you ever shut up?” Jay turned, jaw clenched and pinned me with his gaze.

  I held out my hands and shrugged, pouting out my lower lip. “You’re the one who said we needed to talk. I was just getting it started. It’s not my fault you can’t carry through with your threat of telling me how bad you want to fuck me, or were you just being a big burly alpha male because we weren’t alone?”

  “You wanna know? Really?”

  “Are you gonna write me a note? Because my characters were in the middle of banging each other when you so rudely interrupted me. It was a bit inconvenient if it was all for nothing.”

  “All for nothing? Here’s an idea—shut up, and I’ll start the conversation by showing you just how much I want you.”

  “You have to keep your pants on, remember? That’s part of the room—” I finished on a squeal. He’d closed the distance between us in seconds and with his hands under my arms, he tossed me backward on the sofa.

  I bounced on the soft cushions, but there was no chance of me finishing my sentence. Jay leaned over me, sliding his body between my legs, and kissed me. I melted easily into the kiss, easing my hands up over his shoulders.

  I hadn’t aimed for this, but I can’t say I was mad about it.

  He kissed me firmly and deeply, his tongue teasing the seam of my mouth before he flicked it against mine. I whimpered at the feel of his cock hardening against me, and my fingers twitched where they were gripping his shoulders.

  Every time he moved, just the slightest jerk, his cock pressed harder and harder at the seam of my shorts.

  He ran one of his large hands up and down my thigh, his fingers just skirting beneath my shorts before he pulled them back and gripped my ass, pushing himself harder against me.

  My breath caught between kisses, and he smiled against me. I didn’t have to look to know it was a cocky, self-assured one.

  He’d wanted to tell me, but he was doing one better.

  He was showing me.

  I still didn’t understand. I didn’t understand entirely why he was kissing me as passionately as he was or why he was so hard for me, but it was okay. Any reason he gave for doing it in this moment was a-okay with me.

  Because, for the first time in my life, I felt the kind of magic I’d only ever written about.

  I wanted to drown in this moment. To sink into him, into the kiss, and never come back up for air.

  I wanted to wrap myself around him like a cocoon and stay there, holding him against me, so he could do nothing but kiss me.

  And finally, finally, I knew what it was really like to be kissed. To be kissed so deeply and so real that you felt it down to your soul.

  That’s what kissing Jay was like.

  The most real kiss I’d ever experienced.

  With my best friend.

  Holy shit. I was shamelessly making out with—and rubbing my clitoris against—my best friend and his rock-hard cock.

  I couldn’t help it.

  I burst out laughing.

  It made Jay pause and pull back, looking down at me with curiosity in his eyes. “That’s the first time that’s ever happened.”

  I clapped both hands over my mouth, doing my best to stem the giggles, but I couldn’t. This day had been such a rollercoaster, and I didn’t know if this laughter was simply nerves or because I was making out with my best friend.

  Jay sighed, pushing himself upright. I scooted back from him so I could sit, too, and dipped my head until I had myself under control.

  As much as I could, that was. I mean, my clitoris was throbbing like nobody’s business. If it got much worse, I’d need a doctor. Or an orgasm.

  Unfortunately, if I kept laughing, I didn’t think an orgasm was likely.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered behind my fingers, the laughter finally subsiding. “I just—I realized it was you I was making out with and I couldn’t control it. Hell, I just rubbed myself against you like a bear rubbing against a tree.”

  “That’s the strangest euphemism for dry-humping I’ve ever heard.” He blinked at me. “And, like I said, never been laughed at during a make-out session before.”

  “It’s not—shit. It’s not you. I mean, it is, but it isn’t. Not your kissing. You’re very good at that. And, you know, it’s not too shabby feeling down there either.” I pointed directly at his erection before I snatched my hand back.

  Why did I do that?

  Jay was still looking at me with confusion, but there was a
hefty amount of amusement mixing with it now, too.

  Oh, God, I needed to talk myself out of this.

  “You’re my best friend. And that’s a sizeable tree in your pants.”

  Scratch that. I needed to stop talking.

  Jay ran his tongue over his lower lip. “I am familiar with the size of my penis.”

  “Good, good.”

  Why did I say that?

  Jesus, I was so bad with words for someone who used them for a living.

  “I mean—” I hesitated. “I don’t think I know where I’m going with this if I’m honest. I think I’m just talking for the sake of it.”

  “You think?”

  “Yeah.” I let go of a shuddery breath. “Can you talk instead?”

  His lips quirked to one side. “Nah. I’m quite enjoying you doing this. It’s an improvement on earlier.”

  I groaned, pressing my face into my hands. My chin and jaw were sore from the stubble that dotted his, and my lips were swollen and tender, but no matter how awkward it was, I wanted to remember this. I wanted to remember what it felt like for him to kiss me the way he had.

  Just in case he didn’t want to kiss my awkward little ass ever again.

  “You done?” Amusement laced his tone.

  Wait, was he laughing?

  I dropped my hands. He was. He was fucking laughing at me.

  “Don’t laugh at me!” I leaned forward and swatted his arm.

  He rubbed his mouth. “Sorry. You’re adorable when you get all tied up like that. It was fun.”

  I glared at him and folded my arms across my chest. “Shut up.”

  He grinned.

  “You wanted to talk to me, so talk to me. And, for the record, I understand how badly you want to have sex with me.”

  “If only,” he muttered. “All right. Listen to me for once, okay?”

  I nodded once.

  “I spoke to Georgia today—”

  “Oh, good, there’s nothing like being the subject of conversation between your best friend and a total stranger.”

  “You literally just said you’d shut up.”

  “You should have known better than to believe me.”

  Jay leaned over and pressed one finger against my lips. “Shut up and let me talk.”

  “What if I don’t?” I mumbled against his finger.

  He brought his nose just inches from me. “Then I’ll kiss you until you can’t talk anymore.”

  That seemed like a fair warning.

  I batted his hand away. “Fine. Get on with it.”

  “I spoke to her briefly about this situation. And no, I didn’t go into details, and since you don’t go to the gym, you’re not likely to meet her.”

  I pursed my lips.

  His eyes glinted in the light. “She made me realize that best friends or not, there’s a big conversation that we need to have. It doesn’t matter what the outcome is, but it needs to happen.”

  “Way to scare a girl.”

  “Shush!” Jay laughed, reaching out and tugging a lock of my hair. “For fuck’s sake, Shelby. Just shut up for a second!”

  “Fine.” I rolled my eyes. “Can you get to the point, though? I’m squirrelly today.”

  “Just today?”

  “Shut it.”

  He rubbed his hand over his face, chuckling. “All right.” He dropped his hand and met my eyes. “I’m going to be serious now. You think you can manage that for a couple minutes?”

  “This is emotional, isn’t it? Jesus, no, Jay—you know this makes me speak without thinking. What are you—”

  He cut me off with a swift kiss, his hand curling around the back of my neck.

  Okay.

  So that worked.

  He pulled back, his eyes boring into mine, but he never let go of me. “No matter what I’m about to tell you, remember this: you’re my best friend. I don’t want you to be anything but honest with me, okay? You won’t hurt my feelings. You won’t change anything. Keeping you in my life as my best friend is more important than anything. You understand?”

  My heart was beating double-time. He’d already bypassed my comfort level when it came to emotional discussions. He knew it as well as I did because he kept his eyes on mine as I tried to control my breathing.

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN – SHELBY

  No Loud Noises After Nine P.M.

  It wasn’t okay.

  I wasn’t okay.

  Emotional stuff was something I’d always struggled with, and that was part of the reason I’d never tried to tell Jay how I felt.

  I could put it on paper. I could fictionalize love and romance and crushes and everything else that came from having a passion for penning romance novels.

  I just wasn’t very good at verbalizing it.

  It was why I’d never had a relationship last past six months in my life.

  But now—this was Jay. He knew I didn’t do this. He knew it made me uncomfortable, but he’d asked me to listen. So I’d listen.

  Jay reached over and pushed some of my hair from my eyes. I dropped my gaze, and I heard his breathy chuckle.

  “At least you’re listening,” he said softly. “Shelbs, I have feelings for you.”

  I jerked my gaze back up to him. “What?”

  He took a deep breath in. “I have feelings for you. Beyond friendship.”

  What. Was. Happening?

  “Okay,” I breathed.

  He searched my face for a moment before he continued. “They’re relatively new. Since I moved in, actually, and I wasn’t going to act on them. I had no plans to change our friendship. You’re the most important person in the world to me, Shelby. Losing your friendship would hurt me more than anything else.”

  Swallowing hard, I nodded my agreement as I dropped my gaze again. That was why I hadn’t told him, wasn’t it?

  The idea of losing him was too much to bear.

  It would kill me.

  “But I have to tell you how I feel. If I don’t, it’s gonna eat me up inside. Even if you tell me I’m crazy—I have to be honest.”

  Okay. Now my heart was going crazy.

  “I have real feelings for you. I want more than friendship with you. I want to take you on a date. I want to be more than your best friend.”

  Slowly, I met his gaze. Gone was the confident, playful, sometimes-cocky man I called my best friend. He’d stripped himself bare, and I could see nothing but honesty shining back from his stupidly green eyes.

  He’d picked up his heart, put it on a silver platter, and handed it to me.

  But I couldn’t speak. My own heart was wedged firmly in my throat. I couldn’t form the words I wanted to say, because there was only one thing I really needed to know.

  Wanted to know.

  “If you feel that way,” I said in a scratchy voice. “Why did you take someone else on a date the other night?”

  Shame flashed in his eyes. “I met her at the gym. I wanted to stop feeling this way about you. I took her out because I thought it would help me forget how I feel about you.”

  “Do you want to forget how you feel about me?”

  “No.” He reached for me before he dropped his hand. “No, Shelbs, I don’t. Even if you tell me I’m stupid and our friendship is more important, I don’t want to forget.”

  I brought one shoulder up toward my face and turned away, looking at the coffee table. It held an old coffee cup, two empty glasses, and a Pop-Tart wrapper I knew didn’t belong to me.

  It made my lips twitch.

  “You need to learn to hide your junk food wrappers,” I said absently.

  “If I were anyone else, I’d be offended by that deflection.”

  “Not a deflection. An observation.” I focused on it as I spoke. “Would you really risk our friendship for the chance of something more?”

  “Honestly, I already have.”

  My head bobbed in agreement. “You know this is hard for me, right? My instinct right now is to get u
p and lock myself in my room where you can’t find me. I want to run away.”

  “I know.”

  “I want to hide and pretend this conversation isn’t happening.”

  “I know.”

  “I’d rather write you a letter.”

  From the corner of my eye, I saw his lips twitch.

  “I know.”

  “Because I feel the same.”

  He stilled. “You feel the same?”

  I nodded jerkily. “Everything you said, I feel the same. And it scares me because nothing scares me more than losing you as my best friend. You’ve been there for as long as I can remember, and I don’t want to lose that.”

  “Shelby.”

  I swallowed.

  Jay framed my face with his hands. I turned away, so he moved, dropping to the floor, moving to where he could look into my eyes instead. “Nothing has to change,” he said with a small smile. “We don’t have to do anything about this. I can go stay with my parents instead. We don’t ever have to be anything other than best friends, you know that, right?”

  “I do,” I whispered.

  “Good.” He stroked his thumbs across my cheeks. “I will never make you do anything you don’t want to do. Except unclog the drain in the bathtub.”

  My lips twitched, and when I glanced up, my gaze got stuck on his.

  He’d not only served me his heart on a silver platter, but it looked awfully like he’d offered me his soul, too.

  Reaching up, I laid my hand over his on my cheek. His palm was so rough yet smooth at the same time. Like he used moisturizer right after he lifted weights as heavy as I was.

  I kind of wanted to nuzzle against it like a kitten and ask if he’d pet me.

  “Sleep on it,” he suggested. “Sleep on this conversation, and we’ll revisit in the morning. I’m not at work until midday. Georgia is opening for the first time tomorrow with Oli.”

  “Okay,” I replied, even though I knew I wouldn’t sleep a wink.

  “Just don’t make pancakes, okay? Actually, if you’re friend-zoning me, make them. Then make them to warn me. But can you make them before I come into the kitchen so I know what to expect?”

  Despite the emotion hurtling through my body, I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Deal.”

  • • •

  Let it be known that Shelby Daniels was a troll.