Giant Book of Jokes, Riddles, and Brain Teasers

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Giant Book of Jokes, Riddles, and Brain Teasers Page 12

by Michael Dahl

Viper.

  Viper who?

  Viper your face, it's dirty!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Canoe.

  Canoe who?

  Canoe come over for dinner?

  FUN FACT

  KEEPING WARM

  Ever wonder why certain flowers close up at night? They do this to stay warm. New seeds come from the inside of the flower. It's important that these seeds are protected in spring when nighttime can still be a bit frosty.

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Zaire.

  Zaire who?

  Zaire it goes!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Munich.

  Munich who?

  Munich me happy!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Grub.

  Grub who?

  Grub on and hold tight!

  What's So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Bette.

  Bette who?

  Bette your money I'm right!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Philip.

  Philip who?

  Philip the tub, I need a bath!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Topic.

  Topic who?

  Topic a flower would be nice!

  Knock Once

  Knock, knock.

  Beth.

  Beth you can't find the one time the work KNOCK is spelled correctly!

  Who's there?

  Beth who?

  Beth you I can!

  Words to Know

  Jest: Not being serious. Sometimes a jest is a playful remark or a prank. In the Middle Ages, a jester was someone who worked at the king's court to entertain royalty.

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Nun.

  Nun who?

  Nun of your business!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Earl.

  Earl who?

  Earl you can ask for!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Macon.

  Macon who?

  Macon a sandwich!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Hedda.

  Hedda who?

  Hedda 'nough, I'm leaving!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Tail.

  Tail who?

  Tail everybody!

  TRY THIS

  A Tasty Experiment

  Cut up an apple into four parts and put the slices on a plate. Squeeze lemon juice over two of the four slices and let stand for three hours. When you come back, see what happened. The slices with lemon juice didn't turn brown, but the others did. That's because chemicals in the air turn the apple brown, but other chemicals in the lemon juice stop that from happening.

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Accordion.

  Accordion who?

  Accordion to the weatherman it's going to rain!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Nantucket.

  Nantucket who?

  Nantucket but she said she'd give it back!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  UC.

  UC who?

  UC what I see!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Pea.

  Pea who?

  Pea U, something smells!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Egypt.

  Egypt who?

  Egypt you when he sold you a broken watch!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Henrietta.

  Henrietta who?

  Henrietta bad apple!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Cecil.

  Cecil who?

  Cecil-ly jokes are fun!

  What's am I?

  You may cut me, but I'll grow back. I'm green when I get water and turn brown without it. People walk all over me and sometimes they play sports on me. What am I?

  Grass

  What's So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Rita.

  Rita who?

  Rita book!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Van Gogh.

  Van Gogh who?

  Van Gogh and get me a cookie!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Ants.

  Ants who?

  Ants in your pants!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Reed.

  Reed who?

  Reed a newspaper!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Cohen.

  Cohen who?

  Cohen around the merry-go-round.

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Venice.

  Venice who?

  Venice dinner going to be ready?

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Dots.

  Dots who?

  Dots not important!

  FUN FACT

  IT'S NO COINCIDENCE

  Ever notice that some eggs are brown and others are white? Believe it or not, there are many different types of chickens out there. Brown eggs come from red hens and white eggs usually come from White Leghorn chickens. But most amazing is that there are even chickens that lay blue eggs, the Auracana chickens!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Moe.

  Moe who?

  Moe cake, please!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Isabel.

  Isabel who?

  Isabel needed on the door?

  TRY THIS

  In Motion

  Take a piece of thin cardboard (for example, the side of a cereal box). Decorate it with a nature scene like a garden and a blue sky, or a seascape. Then make a little bird or a boat out of paper, something light that can move easily. Attach a paper clip to the bottom of your movable object. Put your object on the cardboard scene. Then get a magnet. You can move the small object around the cardboard by moving the magnet underneath the cardboard.

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Gopher.

  Gopher who?

  Gopher a long walk!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  CD.

  CD who?

  CD monkey in the cage!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Weasel.

  Weasel who?

  Weasel while you work!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Guitar.

  Guitar who?

  Guitar coats before we go outside!

  Who Is It?

  Collect the letters as you find your way through the maze from START to END. As you read them in order, they will spell the answer to this joke:

  Knock, knock.

  Who's there?

  Handsome.

  Handsome who?

  What's So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Blake.

  Blake who?

  Blake a leg!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Olin.

  Olin who?

  Olin a day's work!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Dana.

  Dana who?

  Dana talk with food in your mouth!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  One shoe.

  One shoe who?

  One shoe come over for a while?

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Alba.

  Alba who?

  Alba in the other roo
m!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Termites.

  Termites who?

  Termites the night!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Mikey.

  Mikey who?

  Mikey won't work, can you open the door?

  Words to Know

  Side-splitting: Have you ever laughed so hard you thought you'd just bust? That's where the term “side-splitting” comes from. Side-splitting laughter is the type of laughter that takes over your whole body.

  ONE TWO THREE O'CLOCK KNOCK

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Trixie.

  Trixie who?

  There are Trixie can't do because we didn't train him!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Nobel.

  Nobel who?

  Nobel, that's why I knocked!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Chris.

  Chris who?

  Chris-mas time is just around the corner!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Orange.

  Orange who?

  Orange you happy?

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Amy.

  Amy who?

  Amy 'fraid I forgot the rest of the joke!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Utica.

  Utica who?

  Utica long way!

  What's am I?

  I am red with black dots, very small, and like to fly. I eat small tasty bugs and you usually find me resting comfortably on flowers in the summertime. People are always asking me to fly home. What am I?

  A ladybug

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Soda.

  Soda who?

  Soda hole in your shirt!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Tango.

  Tango who?

  Tango faster if you want!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Maida.

  Maida who?

  Maida world be at your fingertips!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Juneau.

  Juneau who?

  Juneau what time it is?

  FUN FACT

  IT'S LIKE ARMOR

  Do you know why there's so much skin on some kinds of fruit? Pineapples and other fruit have thick skins to keep out insects, protect from disease, and keep the fruit healthy and tasty for you to eat!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Wanda.

  Wanda who?

  Wanda bough breaks, the baby will fall!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Doris.

  Doris who?

  Doris locked!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Jamaica.

  Jamaica who?

  Jamaica mistake and no one ever forgets!

  Mixed Up Endings

  Collect all words with the same number above them and write them on the line with the corresponding number below. Now, rearrange the words to get the answer for each joke!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Dinosaur.

  Dinosaur who?

  Dinosaur because she fell down!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Fossil.

  Fossil who?

  Fossil last time, let me in!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Virtue.

  Virtue who?

  Virtue get that nice sweater?

  Words to Know

  Funny bone: Ever hear someone say they are going to tickle your funny bone? Well, they aren't actually going to tickle a bone in your body. They mean they are going to make you laugh. Your funny bone is your sense of humor.

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Tennis.

  Tennis who?

  Ten is five plus five!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Wannetta.

  Wannetta who?

  Wannetta time, please!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Brin.

  Brin who?

  Brin me some pie!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Jack.

  Jack who?

  Jack your coat in the coatroom!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Goose.

  Goose who?

  Goose see a doctor for that cough!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Ben.

  Ben who?

  Ben waiting around for hours!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Beryl.

  Beryl who?

  Beryl luck next time!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Major.

  Major who?

  Major look!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Wooden.

  Wooden who?

  Wooden you like to find out!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Sam.

  Sam who?

  Sam person who told you the last knock-knock joke!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Throne.

  Throne who?

  Throne out the garbage!

  What's So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Gouda.

  Gouda who?

  Goudas can be!

  TRY THIS

  The Power of Your Hair

  Turn on the water in the bathroom sink so just a thin stream of water flows out. Then, comb your hair about twenty times. Put the comb near the water, but not touching it. Watch as the water bends to reach the comb. This is because of the static electricity in your hair!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Beth.

  Beth who?

  Beth time of my life!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Accord.

  Accord who?

  Accord of wood for the fireplace!

  Wendy's Here

  Knock, knock.

  Who's there?

  Wendy.

  Wendy who?

  Wendy boxes are all colored in, you will see who it is!

  Color Code:

  B - BROWN

  P - PEACH

  K - BLACK

  G - GREEN

  R - RED

  L - LIGHT BLUE

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Kentucky.

  Kentucky who?

  Kentucky you in at night!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Goddess.

  Goddess who?

  Goddess stop this madness!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Howard.

  Howard who?

  Howard I know?

  What's am I?

  I run over hills and around mountains. I jump over rivers and make my way through thick forests. You can't go anywhere without me, and if you step outside your door, I'll be waiting there. What am I?

  The Road

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Colleen.

  Colleen who?

  Colleen up the kitchen when you're done cookin'!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Evan.

  Evan who?

  Evan-ly angels!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Kip.

  Kip who?

  Kip looking till we find it!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Hello.

&
nbsp; Hello who?

  Hel-lo can you go?

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Swear.

  Swear who?

  Swear are we going?

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Ghana.

  Ghana who?

  Ghana go to town!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Hyde.

  Hyde who?

  Hyde like to tell you another joke!

  FUN FACT

  DOWN DEEP

  The deepest place on earth is located in the Pacific Ocean. It is called the Challenger Deep, and it's a very dark and cold place to be. The bottom of Challenger Deep is 35,813 feet below the surface of the water (that's almost 7 miles)! Hardly anything at all can live there!

  Words to Know

  Palindrome: A word, sentence, or number that reads the same backward and forward. For example, the number 13531 is a palindrome. So is the name Bob.

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Faith.

  Faith who?

  Faith it, it's over!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Vaughn.

  Vaughn who?

  Vaughn day we'll see each other again!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Teacher.

  Teacher who?

  Teacher some manners!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Buck.

  Buck who?

  Buck stops here!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Foster.

  Foster who?

  Foster than a speeding bullet!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Tree.

  Tree who?

  Tree plus tree is six!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Alaska.

  Alaska who?

  Alaska once more and that's it!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Dali.

  Dali who?

  Dali in the window sure is pretty!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Lemmie.

  Lemmie who?

  Lemmie tell you a story!

  Knock knock!

  Who's there?

  Ogre.

  Ogre who?

  Ogre take a long walk!

 

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