by Michael Dahl
Fruit of all evil!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sabina.
Sabina who?
Sabina long time since I told you a knock-knock joke!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Watson.
Watson who?
Wats-on the radio?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Latin.
Latin who?
Latin me through the door is a good idea!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Chelsea.
Chelsea who?
Chel-sea you later!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
Utah-king to me?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Bolivia.
Bolivia who?
Bolivia me, I know what I'm talking about!
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Peace.
Peace who?
Peace and carrots!
Words to Know
Vaudeville: A staged performance including a lot of different types of acts. There could be singing, dancing, comedy, acrobats, and even animal tricks. Everyone loves a good vaudeville show!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ike.
Ike who?
Ike could dance all night!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Chicken' out the situation!
Aye, Aye, Captain
First, figure out what word each letter and picture puzzle represents. Then, number the words in the proper order to create the answer to this joke:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fire engine.
Fire engine who?
FUN FACT
YAWNING FOR AIR
Yawning when you're tired is actually a wake-up call for the brain. Your brain needs lots of oxygen, which is carried in your bloodstream to all parts of your body. When you're tired, your heart pumps more slowly. This means oxygen gets to your brain slowly. When you yawn, your brain gets the oxygen a lot faster. That makes your brain happy!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Ken you tell me something new?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Banana split, so ice creamed!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Galway.
Galway who?
Galway or else!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
U-8.
U-8 who?
U-8 my candy bar!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry-planes fly overhead!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Eliza.
Eliza who?
Eliza when he doesn't want anyone to know the truth!
What's am I?
I can eat a thousand flying insects in one night. My favorite place to live is very close to others like me. I can hang out upside down all day long. One of the best things about me is that I fly around at night and I don't need the light. What am I?
An bat
Where in the World?
Use each of the place names from around the world to complete one of the jokes below. Be careful — there are more names than you need. EXTRA FUN: Turn each of the place names into a knock-knock!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Daryl.
Daryl who?
Daryl only be one chance!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Tom.
Tom who?
Tom-ah-toes are yummy!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Barry.
Barry who?
Barry sorry for the mix-up!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ada.
Ada who?
Ada lot of candy and now I have a tummy ache!
TRY THIS
Make Your Own Rain Catcher
Tape a ruler to the inside of a coffee can or small jar. Then set the jar outside the next time it rains. After the rain ends, you can measure how many of inches of rain have fallen during the rainstorm!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Guava.
Guava who?
Guava good time!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Minotaur.
Minotaur who?
Minotaur ready, we'll go!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Vera.
Vera who?
Vera you going for dinner?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Czar.
Czar who?
Czar-y about spilling the drink!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Randy.
Randy who?
Ran-dy track twice!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Waddle.
Waddle who?
Waddle you give me?
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Wheelbarrow.
Wheelbarrow who?
Wheel-barrow the car and go for a ride!
Words to Know
Spoof: A light and playful way of making fun of something. You might see a television show, a movie, or a play that's a spoof, or even read a story that spoofs something or someone.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Illegals.
Illegals who?
Ill-egals stay in the nest till they're old enough to fly!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Fission.
Fission who?
Fission for trout!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Beehive.
Beehive who?
Beehive yourself or you'll get in trouble!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Gwen.
Gwen who?
Gwen are we leaving?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Thurston.
Thurston who?
Thurston for a milkshake!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Honey.
Honey who?
Honey way home we'll stop for ice cream!
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Who's there?
China.
China who?
China tell you something!
What's am I?
I travel in packs and have beautiful fur. I can survive almost anywhere as long as there is plenty to eat. My scientific name is Canis lupus, but you know me from a famous fairy tale. I was framed, I tell you! Little Red Riding Hood set me up! What am I?
A wolf
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Carl.
Carl who?
Carl get you there faster!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Warner.
Warner who?
Warner lift to school?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Farrah.
Farrah who?
Farrah 'nough!
A KNOCK HERE, A KNOCK THERE
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Egg.
Egg who?
Eggstremely cold!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Andy.
Andy wh
o?
He did it once, Andy did it again!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Minnie.
Minnie who?
Minnie more miles to go!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Eiffel.
Eiffel who?
Eiffel sick!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sybil.
Sybil who?
Sybil-ization!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Curry.
Curry who?
Curry the package home!
TRY THIS
Invent Your Own Animals
Look through some old magazines to see how many animal pictures you can find. Cut out the legs of a dog, the ears of a cat, the face of a chicken, the body of a giraffe, or whatever parts you want from the other animals that you see. Make your own combinations of the cutouts, and come up with as many “new” animals as you can. Then give them all funny names, like “dogachickiraffe”! Now make up a story about where these types of creatures can be found, what they like to eat, and what strange habits they have!
Words to Know
Gag: A prank or joke that makes people laugh. Sometimes a comedian will have a running gag in the show (that means the same gag will be repeated over and over again). Running gags can also be part of television shows, movies, and plays.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Newark.
Newark who?
Newark for you when you finish the old work!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Aretha.
Aretha who?
Aretha flowers for the door!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Gecko.
Gecko who?
Gecko-ing or you'll be late!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Duke.
Duke who?
Duke you come here often?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys lunch time, I'm starved!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears looking at you, kid!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Grape.
Grape who?
Grape pie, can I have some more!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Lacey.
Lacey who?
Lacey days of summer!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Wafer.
Wafer who?
Wafer the bus!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Enid.
Enid who?
Enid to take a nap!
FUN FACT
FREEZE FRAME
When you sneeze, all of your body functions stop — even your heart stops pumping for a moment. Whenever you sneeze, air rushes through your body at a rate of 100 miles per hour. And it's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open!
What's am I?
I look like a star in the sky but I live at the bottom of the sea. I'm tough on the outside and I've got a great talent: If I lose an arm I can easily grow a new one back! What am I?
A starfish
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Carrie.
Carrie who?
Carrie these boxes, they're not heavy!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Tommy.
Tommy who?
My Tommy hurts from too much pie!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut who?
Doughnut be scared, it's only a joke!
Do I Know You?
The letters in each column go in the squares directly below them, but not in the same order! Black squares are for punctuation and the spaces between the words.
When you have correctly filled in the grid, you will have a silly conversation between two people on opposite sides of a door!
Don't Forget to Brush
See if you can fit all the words into their proper place in the grid. When you are finished, read down the center column to get the answer to this joke:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tuba.
Tuba who?
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Oscar.
Oscar who?
Oscar again, she didn't hear you the first time!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew-nuts are yummy!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Congo.
Congo who?
Congo out, I'm grounded!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Woodstock.
Woodstock who?
Woodstock up on food if I were you!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Lorraine.
Lorraine who?
Lorraine is falling and I'm getting soaked!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Daisy.
Daisy who?
Daisy goes to school, nights he sleeps!
TRY THIS
A Neighborhood Scrapbook
Go on a nature walk in your neighborhood. See how many different types of flowers and animals you can identify. When you get home, look for pictures of the flowers and animals in magazines. Cut out some of these. Then paste the pictures onto construction paper. Punch holes in the construction paper and tie the pages together with a ribbon.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Bored.
Bored who?
Bored of education!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Fresno.
Fresno who?
Fresno fun when he's angry!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Beezer.
Beezer who?
Beezer black and yellow!
What's am I?
I live in the forest and I make loud noises with my beak when I find a tree with lots of tasty bugs in it. You can't mistake my sound. You may know my uncle — he's a funny cartoon character named Woody. What am I?
A woodpecker
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Seville.
Seville who?
Seville you come to the dance?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Topeka.
Topeka who?
Topeka apples you have to go to the orchard!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Hominy.
Hominy who?
Hominy times do I have to tell you?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Tarzan.
Tarzan who?
Tarzan stripes!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Moose.
Moose who?
Moose have been a long night!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Disk.
Disk who?
Disk is a holdup, put your hands in the air!
Words to Know
Whimsical: Light or funny. Many things are whimsical. For example, knock-knock jokes are pretty whimsical! Stage-acting with a lot of clowning around is pretty whimsical too.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Walrus.
Walrus who?
Why do you walrus ask so many questions?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Garden.
Garden who?
Garden t
he secret treasure!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Iona.
Iona who?
Iona TV set!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anyone know who I am?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Malcolm.
Malcolm who?
Malcolm it took you so long to answer the door?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Les.
Les who?
Les-sons to be learned!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Value.
Value who?
Value come to the park with me?
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Burden.
Burden who?
Burden the tree is singing!
FUN FACT
JUST FOUR
There are thousands of words in the English language, but there are only four that end with “dous.”Can you guess them? They are tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Hallways.
Hallways who?
Hallways running off somewhere!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Irish.
Irish who?
I-rish I had lots of money!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Rex.
Rex who?
Rex-taurant's just down the road!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Disguise.
Disguise who?
Disguise the limit!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Arf.
Arf who?
Arf-a-got!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Oil.
Oil who?
Oil we do is tell knock-knock jokes!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Tibet.
Tibet who?
Early Tibet, early to rise!
Part Three
RIDDLES & BRAIN TEASERS
YOU MAY HAVE COME TO know riddles and brain teasers as a great way to get a good laugh, or maybe to challenge a friend. You may even like to challenge yourself with these riddles. But did you know that thousands of years ago, people just like you were interested in a good riddle or puzzle, too?