A Date With Fate

by Tracy Ellen

  Anna cried out in embarrassment. “Aunt Lily, what’s with you tonight? Please, stop! Luke, just ignore her. I’m sorry. We know you’re not Satan.”

  As Anna argued over proper etiquette with her crazy aunt, I struggled to contain my laughter at Luke’s carefully blank expression. I well remember the first time I was scathingly called Delilah at age eight for encouraging a classmate to get a Mohawk within hearing range of the Behemoth. Luke’s reaction to Aunt Lily’s bizarre accusation was no reaction. His eyes were narrowed in thought as he gazed down the table in her direction.

  I squeezed his thigh. I should say, I tried to squeeze his thigh but it was rock hard. I stroked his thigh. “In some cultures the elderly are known to be always right, too.” I nodded seriously when he switched his gaze to mine. “It’s a known fact she’s not an idle gossip or sinner.”

  We smiled at each other.

  Tilting my head, I tapped my lip while I looked Luke up and down appraisingly.

  Meeting his amused eyes once more, I nodded. “Personally, I’d name you more of a demon versus a devil. Yes, I think Baal fits nicely.”

  He arched a demonic, black brow slowly. “I thought you were a heathen?”

  I scratched my fingernails up his inner thigh and warned under my breath, “Don’t be raising that brow at me at the dinner table. Where are you from, hell boy?”

  Luke was snickering as I went on to answer him. “Yes, it’s true I’m not religious, but not from lack of curiosity or illiteracy.” I took a sip of wine, and shrugged a negligent shoulder. “The concept of faith is a hard thing to swallow when you’re older, if you aren’t fed it first with mother’s milk.”

  He put his big hand over mine on his thigh. “My father is going to really like you.”

  I laughed, confused but warmed by his words.

  Everyone around us had started talking at once to rush in and fill the awkwardness, but Aunt Lily’s fanatic ways were familiar to most of us here and taken with a grain of salt.

  Reggie called a halt to the chatter by dinging his wine glass with a spoon. “Can we let Bob tell us what he found out about Cheryl, please?”

  Stella spoke up, smiling shyly from on Luke’s right. “Yes, we’ll be quiet, Uncle Reg, but only if Luke will promise me something first.” I knew that look. She’d learned it at my knee. I watched her suspiciously. “He has to tell us all about his first date with Anabel when Crookie is done.”

  Mac chuckled wickedly and dinged her glass. “Here, Hear, I second that motion.”

  Luke’s easy, smiling expression as he listened to Stella’s request didn’t change by a flicker, but I felt him tense up at my side. I laughed silently in my soup. He swiftly recovered.

  “I’m sorry, ladies, but you’ll have to ask Anabel about our first date.” He shrugged with a “Gee, shucks” grin. “Men never get that sort of thing right, no matter how hard we try.” He rubbed his chin in thought. “I’m sure it must have been a fun, first date. When she begged me to take her out a second time, I obviously agreed.”

  My family and friends were laughing uproariously even as they complained at his answer.

  Anna’s voice was the loudest, “No fair pulling the “I’m a man” card, Luke. Everyone here knows Junior won’t say squat. No offense, but she probably doesn’t even remember your first date.”

  Tre J was looking at me like I had two heads. “You begged him, Bel?”

  “I think she remembers.” Stella looked at me around Luke. She asked sweetly, “Will you tell us, Auntie Bel?”

  I finished my bite of soup, and lay down my spoon. Ignoring the man with the straight face at my side, I smiled back. “I would love to, Stell, but it’s X-rated, so I can’t tonight.”

  Jazy didn’t doubt me for a second, but raised her wine glass in grinning salute.

  Stella giggled. “Oh, don’t be a hold out. It was your first date. It can’t be that bad!” She smiled quickly at Eric George. “Besides, I’m not a baby.”

  “Of course it wasn’t bad. Didn’t I just say it was X rated? And of course I didn’t mean you, sweetness.” I gave a nod towards Aunt Lily slurping up her bowl of soup at the other end of the table. I made a throat-slitting motion, crossing my eyes.

  Eric George laughed. I smiled at him thinking maybe he was a keeper.

  Anna muttered a “Yeah, right.” on my left while Stella narrowed her eyes at me on my right.

  Mac was laughing, even as she impatiently shook her head. “Stella, honey, no matter how tempting it may be to beat it out of her, you can’t force your aunt to tell. You must learn to barter.”

  My niece opened her mouth for a rat-terrier rebuttal, but suddenly stopped. A small smile played on her lips. Although it may be used against me at a later date, it’s always fun to see our Stella learning the ropes. I still shot the grinning Mac a glare that promised revenge. After all, she had announced a trade secret in mixed company, which broke all sorts of woman rules.

  Tre J and Crookie laughed together at this byplay, and then she gave a little elbow to Crooks to continue.

  I took this opportunity to pinch Luke hard under the table. He didn’t flinch, but his lips turned up as his gleaming eyes met mine. I wasn’t lying. Our first date really was rated X. Luke wasn’t lying, either. I wouldn’t call it begging exactly, but it was true that I was the one to ask him for a second date first.

  Luke leaned in and spoke low. “You remember every minute, Anabel.”

  With a small smile, I turned away from his look of masculine confidence to give Crookie my attention.

  “Here is what I know. Cheryl was found by two teens about ten o’clock last night when they went to a conveniently unoccupied farmstead to probably have sex in the barn.” Crookie had come a long ways socially in ten years. He didn’t even blush. I heard Aunt Lily revving up a deep grumble at the word “sex”, but didn’t take my eyes from Crooks. “They discovered the car with Cheryl still in the driver’s seat.”

  There were groans around the table at this revelation. Tre J, being one exception to my beauty-is-a-curse rule, covered his hand with hers. She nodded encouragingly with a small smile. Her Nordic blue eyes were soft with sympathy. Crookie smiled sweetly in return.

  Nibbling on a soft breadstick, I paused in speculation while marveling at the two of them together. ‘Good god, the potential! Their offspring could be beautiful, kind, ass-kicking giants with monster brains—practically a new species of humans.’

  “Thankfully, these were decent people.” Aunt Lily grumbled under her breath but we all ignored her. “They called the police immediately, and didn’t touch or take anything from the car. Cheryl’s cell and her purse, with the cash inside, were recovered. In her purse they found a receipt dated and time stamped from a Saturday morning in September. It was the fifteenth, the day after I had seen her last. The receipt was from the Northfield Bakery. The bakery owners were questioned earlier today, and they remembered her even two months later.” Crookie shook his head remorsefully. “Cheryl had been terribly rude to the woman owner. She came in early, about seven in the morning on that Saturday, and bought coffee and rolls. Then she claimed their Cruellers were stale, and made a scene demanding her cash back. They do not get too many customers calling them “motherfuckers” at the bakery.”

  At his wry tone, we all groaned and chuckled in sympathetic disbelief. Aunt Lily shook her finger at Crookie. Watching her from my end of the table, it was obvious she was riled up. Her whole chest rose and fell with each breath.

  “How dare you curse on the Sabbath? There will be NO profanity at this table!”

  Anna was trying valiantly to be patient. “Crookie’s not swearing, Aunt Lil, he’s repeating a story.”

  Crookie ducked his head and shrugged apologetically in Aunt Lily’s direction. “Cheryl always kept her phone charging in her car, and that is how I am cleared. When she was stabbed…” at our collective sounds of shock his eyebrows raised. Then comprehension dawned, and he rushed to clarify while running a hand through
his light brown hair. “Oh, I am sorry! Yes, that is how she was murdered. Her heart was punctured by a sharp, unknown weapon--most probably a knife of some kind. I apologize again; it has been a long day. I do not mean to sound callous, but I have had hours to become accustomed to this news.” He leaned forward to look down his right at Luke and I. “The police found her phone between the seats. They interviewed the person she called last. I don’t know who it is, but the report is they had heard strange, gasping noises, but then ended the call after a few seconds when there was no other response from Cheryl. This person had one earlier conversation with Cheryl at 7:05 AM. I was not told all the pertinent details, only that somehow these calls cleared me.” He shuddered. “I am definitely not arguing with that conclusion.”

  Tre J squeezed his hand in agreement. Nobody spoke right away. Around the table, everyone seemed lost in their own thoughts. I didn’t know how much he knew beforehand of Crookie’s latest details, but Luke was silent on my right. I could discern little from his closed expression. I was hoping he’d share his insights later when we could speak freely.

  I turned back to my left and asked Crooks, “What time was the second call, do you know?”

  Crookie’s forehead wrinkled. “Yes, it was right before seven thirty that same morning.”

  Jazy asked, “Did your friend tell you where the farm is located? Was it out my way south of town?”

  “No, I am not sure where it is located, but east off Highway 19 was mentioned. I do not know the names of the teenagers, so I have no point of reference.”

  Surprisingly, James spoke up. “What would cause a woman to leave a bakery in Northfield at approximately 7:00 AM, make a call on her cell at 7:05 AM, and drive to a deserted farm in the country east of town, only to be murdered in her car while making a call to that same person by 7:30 AM?”

  Reg nodded vigorously. “Couldn’t have put it better myself. Cheryl wasn’t a country girl, that’s for sure, right Crookie?”

  “That is definitely for sure. Cheryl hated anything to do with the country.”

  Tre asked tentatively, “She wasn’t raped?”

  Aunt Lily made a loud, snorting explosion from her nose, but before she could speak Crookie rushed to reassure Tre. “No, nothing like that happened. I was told there were no signs of an attack, or a struggle. Only the single stab wound.” He picked up his fork again, sighing quietly. “That is all I know. It is no secret that my marriage to Cheryl was over. My only hope is the police catch the murderer quickly, so I can put this behind me and move on.”

  After a moment of silence, I raised my glass of wine. “Here’s to peace for Cheryl and closure for Crookie.”

  Everyone seconded the toast and took a drink, except for Aunt Lily who didn’t look up from her soup and salad.

  Reg raised his beer. “Here’s to police proficiency. Good luck with that!”

  We all laughingly cheered and took another drink.

  I nodded towards James. “Your statement made a succinct case for someone hijacking her out to this barn to purposely kill her, since nothing else was stolen. Or she went willingly, and was killed by someone non-threatening to her.”

  “Thank you, Anabel.” James replied, expressionless as always.

  I didn’t respond to his lightly mocking tone but looked out towards the living room, my gaze turned inward. “It’s interesting the killer didn’t take her phone. Having it found under the seat makes me question if the killer was aware of the last call. I wonder if it was an attempt for help, or if she was all ready calling when the killer stabbed her and she then dropped her cell. Does anybody know how quickly you die if you’re heart is punctured?”

  Over a mouthful of soup Tre J immediately mumbled, ‘Seconds to minutes, depending where in the heart you are stabbed. It also depends if the weapon is left in, or pulled out.”

  I blinked at her unhesitating answer, but then Jazy caught my interest when she said to Crookie, “Okay, I’ve been thinking. Cheryl’s killer could be the man you saw her with at Tina’s, don’t you agree?”

  Crookie thought it over. “It could be him, but Cheryl,” his head shook in sad reflection, “was too indiscriminate to pin it on that particular man without knowing more facts.”

  Visibly shaking, Aunt Lily shouted from her end of the table. “She was the great Whore of Babylon!” She stood up, her cane rising in the air. “And there came one of the seven angels, and talked with me, saying unto me, Come Hither; I will shew unto thee the judgment of the great whore that sitteth!”

  Everyone was stunned speechless as Aunt Lily stood and spewed out these words. It was extremely strange behavior even for her. She seemed overcome with violent emotion, but I doubted she even knew Cheryl except maybe in passing.

  Luke showed off his bible study talents when he said in an undertone, “Interesting. She’s misquoting Revelations 17:1.”

  “Hush, Baal, or anyone could think you were a pastor’s kid.”

  A large hand sliding high on my thigh, and squeezing with no problem, was his response to me. Luke was chuckling softly at hearing Crookie’s placidly agreeable response to Aunt Lily.

  “Yes Ma’am, that is probably as good as description as any to describe Cheryl’s unfortunate behavior.”

  Standing at the end of the table, her features brutally hard, Aunt Lily regarded Crookie in silence for a long moment. Then her voice started low and rose in volume with every word until she was screaming, “You should be thankful she is dead! The scripture said she deserved to die! She was an Adulteress, a terrible wife, and she broke every sacred commandment!” She stopped abruptly, leaning both hands on the table before her and gasping. She looked up under her heavy, caterpillar brows and hissed, “She made Anna cry.”

  Unlike discussing the details of a murder--religion, politics, or being publically named a Crybaby are not relaxing topics for the dinner table. Anna’s face was stricken. Even Crookie was at a loss how to respond courteously to this latest proclamation. Everyone was uncomfortably silent, and a few mouths were hanging open. I glimpsed Diego crossing himself and reaching for my sister’s hand.

  Her words had brought to my mind Aunt Lily’s special visit to Bel’s yesterday with the same bakery item to lord over Anna. Since I am an admitted tormentor that does not rest, even on a Sunday, I spoke up to lighten the mood.

  “Speaking of terrible things, I told you their “Crullers” were terrible at the Northfield Bakery, Aunt Lily. Even the great Whore of Babylon could figure this out after one bite.”

  It flashed through my mind the date of Cheryl’s death was the same day I met Luke at Reggie’s house. Not that I had recorded that September date in my Dear Diary, but our first date later that night was rather hard to forget since it was rated X. I recalled Aunt Lily had brought us a bag of cookies that morning to the store right when we opened at ten. I had taken the cookies to Reggie’s house knowing he’d eat them.

  I opened my mouth to pour salt in the wound and remind her of the “dry, tasteless cookies” also from the Northfield Bakery, but Aunt Lily had grabbed her cane again. She was whacking it on the floor beside her in time to her thundering, bellowing words. “Those Cruellers were not stale, Anabel Axelrod! The Pastry Chef went to school in New York City, not some two-bit…”

  The Behemoth’s yelling continued unabated, but I heard Anna’s gasp next to me. She was ignoring the latest ranting from her relative because she must have been thinking the same thing I was. The date for her was probably etched in her heart since she and Reggie broke off their new relationship because of the murdered Whore of Babylon the previous night.

  Aunt Lily’s cane slamming and whacking was taking place on James’ side of the table. He slid his chair far to his right side and crowded Jazy to save his feet. He glared reproachfully at me for riling the Beast. I couldn’t hide my grin fast enough behind my wine glass. I wondered if he was happy he’d joined us for our little family dinner.

  I observed James, Jazy, Reggie, Tre J, and Crookie on one side of t
he table, along with Diego, Eric George, and Stella on the other. All of their heads were swiveling back and forth in time to the conversation coming from either end of the long table like they were watching a tennis match broadcast from Hades. They all had round eyes the size of their soup bowls.

  Anna’s loud voice interrupted Mac’s appeasing attempts to calm down Aunt Lily’s screaming, incoherent tirade on culinary schools and whores. Jack was really going to be bummed he’d stayed away tonight.

  Anna bellowed to be heard over her aunt’s screams. I could practically see Anna thinking out loud. “Hold on a minute, wait a minute! SETTLE DOWN, AUNT LILY!” Miraculously, Aunt Lily quit screaming although she was still furiously wielding her cane. “Didn’t you bring cookies to the Fare that day from Northfield Bakery? I know it was in the morning.” Anna bounced forward enthusiastically in her seat. She spoke even louder in her growing excitement. “Don’t you go to the bakery early before Saturday church? Oh, my god! THINK, Aunt Lily, did you see Cheryl there at the bakery that morning before she was murdered?”

  I felt Luke stiffen beside me and murmur, “I’ll be damned.”

  Aunt Lily’s face drained of color before us. Her small, black eyes burning with spiteful hate looked everywhere but at Anna while she mumbled, “I did the right thing. The Angel came…that whore deserv…”

  Her cane stilled, and then fell out of her clenched hand and onto the floor with a thud. She stared wildly around the table, her mouth opening and closing with no sound except the gasp of her heavy, labored breathing. Skin ashen gray, her eyes then rolled into the back of her head until only the whites showed. I thought she was about to speak in tongues, which to be fair to myself she has been known to do upon occasion.

  This time, she let out a long, unearthly groan. Hands pressing convulsively against her chest, Aunt Lily dropped heavily with no warning. Her chair was previously pushed back behind her. We all heard the horrible smacking sound when her skull connected with the wooden edge. She was out of my sight on the floor.