by Sarah Bowen
WEEK 1: HERE I AM
Courage is a necessary facet of our spiritual journey. Courage moves us beyond bravery to fearlessness. This doesn’t mean that fear isn’t present; it means we stop fearing fear. Rather than trying to transform any problematic moment in our lives to a saccharinely-sweet positive experience, we identify “what is.” Grounded in our actual experience, we learn how to handle life on life’s terms more skillfully.
Psychologist and well-loved spirituality writer Leonard Felder, Ph.D., proposes a simple practice for doing just that. Blending mindfulness techniques with a single Hebrew word (followed by its translation), he provides an approach to recenter ourselves, creating a stable foundation to face fear and anxiety during the day.
HOW IT WORKS
1. Think of something in your life that is stressful.
2. Close your eyes and visualize the situation until you start to feel the symptoms of stress (a quickened heartbeat, shorter breaths, racing thoughts, etc.).
3. Ask yourself this question: “Where am I?”
4. Wait for an honest answer from within yourself.
• It might be a description of where you are spatially.
• You might notice that you don’t feel “here,” but instead feel a nonspecific sense of anxiety, agitation, or lack of focus.
• Your inner naysayer might respond: “What’s it to you?” or “This is stupid” or “Who cares?”
5. Feel the answer. Connect with where you are physically, emotionally, spiritually, and energetically.
6. Take a deep breath. Inhale and exhale slowly.
7. Declare Hineini*: Here I am (pronounced he-neh-nee).
8. Notice if there is any shift within you. By no longer resisting where you are, and instead gently stating that you are where you are, space may open for calmness in the eye of a mental storm.
9. Repeat whenever you feel unsettled during the day.
REBELLIOUS VARIATIONS
Go for a combo: Alternate saying Hineini with any of the breath exercises from Monday.
Go to the roots: Blogger (and Rabbi) Rachel Barenblat—aka the Velveteen Rabbi—offers an inspired interpretation of the original Hineini prayer. Try the first four stanzas to heighten your practice: Here I stand / painfully aware of my flaws / quaking in my canvas shoes / and in my heart. Hineini.
Engage the root chakra: Sit in a chair. Draw your attention to the root chakra (energy center) located at the base of your spine. Tune in to the energy there. Gently close your eyes. Staying in your body, feel the power from your root chakra extend down through the chair, the floor, and into the earth below. Picture your strength as a root that spreads through the soil, branching off, creating its own robust root system entwined with the Earth. Feel this groundedness. Breathe your eyes open, remaining energetically connected to Mother Earth. From this place, say silently: Hineini. Here I am.
DISCOVER DEEPLY
• Read Here I Am: Using Jewish Spiritual Wisdom to Become More Present, Centered, and Available for Life by Leonard Felder, Ph.D.
• Watch Finding Joe to learn more about Joseph Campbell, the hero’s journey, and archetypes.
• Read Sarah Wilson’s First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Journey Through Anxiety to learn creative exercises for curbing fear.
• Check out Parker Palmer’s Center for Courage & Renewal at couragerenewal.org.
• Read Gregory Maguire’s stunning modern retelling of the Cowardly Lion story, A Lion Among Men.
NOTES
* Hineini combines two Hebrew words: hineh, meaning here and ani, meaning I. Appearing just a few times in the Hebrew scriptures, the word is used as an answer to a call to higher purpose. The word is used sparingly, in big moments, where fear may be present. Hineini is not relegated to moments such as Here I am in the DMV line. Instead, its tone is emphatic, solid, and firm, connecting us to the bigger picture of life. In a world where we are so often coming, going, or trying to be five places at the same time, it can be powerful to take a moment to make this bold statement.
Seva Saturday
You just brought yourself another Saturday.
VICE PRINCIPAL “DICK” VERNON (IN THE BREAKFAST CLUB)
* * *
As a teen of the 1980s, I have distinct movie quotes forever embedded in my mind. Darth Vader’s infamous “I am your father.” Creepy Carol Anne whining, “They’re hee-eere!” in Poltergeist. Mr. Miyagi’s wise “Wax on, wax off” in The Karate Kid. And pretty much every line from The Breakfast Club, including the essential cry: “If he gets up, we’ll all get up. It’ll be anarchy!”
As a reckless teenager, I lusted after The Breakfast Club’s insolent John Bender (played by Judd Nelson) in his grungy red flannel, ripped jeans, and heavy combat boots (even though I still firmly believe the foot bandana was a misstep by the wardrobe department). Bender’s crazed bravado helped hide his insecurity and pain just under the surface, which was something I identified with. As Bender went head-to-head with grumpy vice principal “Dick” Vernon in the “Eat My Shorts” tirade, my heart raced while he racked up an endless number of Saturday detentions because of his contemptuous backtalking.
Rewatching the scene recently (with my so-called enlightened adult mind), I noticed a nugget of wisdom in Vernon’s speech: “You know something, Bender? You oughta spend a little more time trying to do something with yourself, and a little less time trying to impress people. You might be better off.” These cringe-worthy words from my teens now spoke volumes.
Many spiritual teachings echo Vernon’s sentiment: We should aspire to do something worthwhile with our lives. Some version of the Golden Rule (“Treat others like you want to be treated”) appears in most religions and philosophies. Many go a step further with calls for some measure of selflessness in our actions, such as the practice of giving, charity, volunteering, or seva.
A Sanskrit term found in many Eastern spiritualities, seva is about selfless service: something is done without any thought of payment, reward, recognition, or even a thank you. Ram Dass (of Be Here Now* fame) brought the word into the U.S. mainstream in the 1970s and even named the foundation he cofounded Seva Foundation. Since 1978, the foundation has helped over 3 million people regain sight through free and low-cost surgeries/eye care services.
Modern self-described yogi provocateur Daniel Scott confirms that service continues with the next generation of modern yogis and yoginis: “Seva is the karmic life preserver that keeps your spiritual head above water by helping others to stay afloat.” I found Daniel where many of today’s up-and-coming spiritual teachers can be found—in a blog. I noticed him, and was curious, so I inquired.
As I asked Daniel questions, I quickly learned that he indeed qualifies as a spiritual rebel. Rather than seeing himself as a yoga teacher accumulating followers with blind faith in him, Daniel seeks to help others find faith in themselves: “I believe in the power of the connections that we create, not just to other people, or other ideas or causes, but also within ourselves. How we connect with our self is how we connect with the world.”
For many of us, as we connect with the world, seva is not just one-sided. The world is round, and our actions are, in essence, round as well. True, we help others, but we’re also helping ourselves, in a fully circular connection. Like Daniel’s life-preserver image, which I probed him to expand on. “When I feel lost, or sad, or challenged, or just not in my highest capacity, I oftentimes find that it’s almost easier to help others because it gives me a sense of feeling like I have something to give and have worth,” he explained. “Even if it’s just buying a cup of coffee for someone or just listening. We always think that giving has to be something that’s material based, but sometimes just giving presence, just holding space, or filling space with quiet support is more than enough to help some other people work through some really crazy shit.”
Daniel reminds us that service doesn’t have to be big, Instagram-worthy actions. It’s a state rather than a specific activity. Another of my
wise sages, One Spirit founder Diane Berke, confirms the importance of service in her book, The Gentle Smile: Practicing Oneness in Daily Life (originally published in 1995): “We live in this world with other people, and the ‘dailiness’ of our lives is very much made up of encounter and relationship—from the casual, passing, seemingly chance encounters with strangers on the subway, in the check-out line at the grocery store, or riding in the elevator, to the interactions of our work and social relationships, friendships, love and family relationships. Service cannot be separated from relationship and, in a very real sense, relationship cannot be separated from service.”
Melding the related concepts of kindness, caring, charity, volunteering, giving, and paying it forward, we find a robust way of being. Today, we’ll look at service through this lens.
WEEK 1: 7.7 BILLION SERVED
Luckily, many of our actions this week primed us:
• Monday, we experienced our breath.
• Tuesday, we embodied a state of blessing.
• Wednesday, we speculated on the immense and the tiny.
• Thursday, we reflected on our connections.
• Friday, we envisioned how to stand in courage.
Now, as we roll into the weekend, it’s time to expand beyond ourselves—to spread our spirituality outward to some of the other 7.7 billion people on this planet. To become a karmic life-preserver, starting with our way of being, continuing through our thoughts, and flowing out into the world through our actions.
A powerful way to get started is through the practice of Metta, usually translated as lovingkindness.** By focusing our thoughts on the wellness of ourselves and others, we cultivate compassion, kickstarting our actions in the same direction.
HOW IT WORKS
1. Silence your phone, computer, or anything around you that might ring, ding, or vibrate.
2. Start by tuning in to the flow of life force within yourself. Perhaps repeat Monday’s breathing practices to get your flow going.
3. Place your hands on your chest softly. Feel the beating of your heart.
4. Take a deep breath. Feel the expansion and the contraction of your lungs.
5. Say each line below out loud slowly:
May I be free from fear.
May I be returned to wholeness.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be of service to others.
May I be happy, peaceful, and at ease.
6. Place your hands in your lap softly, with your palms facing upwards. Feel the energy emanating from your hands.
7. Take a deep breath. Feel the flow of air within you.
8. Envision someone you love. Picture the person in your mind, their hands connecting to yours.
9. Say each line below out loud slowly:
May you be free from fear.
May you be returned to wholeness.
May you be filled with loving kindness.
May you be of service to others.
May you be happy, peaceful, and at ease.
10. Take a deep breath. Feel the inhalation and exhalation.
11. Envision someone with whom you are having difficulty. Picture the person in your mind.
12. Say each line below out loud slowly:
May you be free from fear.
May you be returned to wholeness.
May you be filled with loving kindness.
May you be of service to others.
May you be happy, peaceful, and at ease.
13. Take a deep breath. Ahhhhhh.
14. Envision all beings. Imagine a long line of people stretched around the world like a giant “I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke” ad. Everyone is included. Among the “two-leggeds” pass Earth’s other creatures: including the four-leggeds, the six-leggeds, and the multi-leggeds, as well as the slithering, the finned, and the winged.
15. Grasp your hands together to complete this giant circle of life.
16. Say each line below out loud slowly:
May all beings be free from fear.
May all beings be returned to wholeness.
May all beings be filled with loving kindness.
May all beings be of service to others.
May all beings be happy, peaceful, and at ease.
17. Sit silently for a while, noticing how these statements feel.
18. During the day embody these words, looking for opportunities to be of service to the people around you, acting in a state of generosity without any thought of payment, reward, recognition, or thank you.
REBELLIOUS VARIATIONS
Classic Metta: Try this classic Buddhist four-phase version: “May I be free from danger. May I have mental happiness. May I have physical happiness. May I have ease of wellbeing.” Then extend it out past yourself.
Daily affirmation: Joran Slane Oppelt, owner of the Metta Center of St. Petersburg and author of Integral Church: A Handbook for New Spiritual Communities offers this “Affirmation of the Eight Rooms” (from his forthcoming book, The Eight Rooms: A Key to the Universal Values We Can’t Live Without):
I am in love and I am unattached.
I am empty and I am changing.
I am present and I am productive.
I am joyful and I belong.
Extend this affirmation into lovingkindness by repeating the words first as is, then by replacing I am with May you be.
Personal psalms: Lovingkindness shows up in many spiritual traditions. In Judaism, it’s referred to as Chesed. In fact, the book of Psalms (sacred songs) proclaims the world is built on kindness and love between people: Olam Chesed Yibaneh. Try my modern psalm based on the ancient priestly blessing, first for yourself, then repeating for others.
May I/you be blessed and guarded against suffering.
May the eternal light of the Cosmos shine upon me/you.
May peace be with me/you.
Bring on the light: Try these invocative words based on the Hadith of Islamic tradition:
Let there be light before me, and light behind me, and on my right light, and on my left light, and above me light, and beneath me light. May I be light.
Let there be light before you, and light behind you, and on your right light, and on your left light, and above you light, and beneath you light. Make you be light.
The write stuff: Write your own compassion meditation. The prayer below is based on one widely attributed to St Francis (though it’s unlikely he wrote it). Since the words are frequently edited and adapted, I took the liberty of tweaking them. Here’s my version:
Make me an instrument of peace.
That where there is hatred, I may bring love.
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony.
That where there is error, I may bring truth.
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith.
That where there is despair, I may bring hope.
That where there are shadows, I may bring light.
That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
That I may seek rather to comfort, than to be comforted.
To understand, than to be understood.
To love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
DISCOVER DEEPLY
• Read The Sacred Art of Lovingkindness: Preparing to Practice by Rabbi Rami Shapiro.
• Watch “Cultivating Loving Awareness with Ram Dass, Krishna Das, Sharon Salzberg, and Mirabai Bush” on YouTube.
• Read The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu.
• Read Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion by Greg Boyle.
NOTES
* Ram Dass (born Richard Alpert) developed Be Here Now shortly after returning from his 1970s pilgrimage to India, where he studied under guru Neem Karoli Baba (also referred to as Maharaj
-ji). Originally titled From Bindu to Ojas, the bestselling book started as a collection of stories, spiritual techniques, and illustrations put together by Ram Dass and members of his spiritual community. Selling over two million copies, Be Here Now has inspired hippies and hipsters alike for over 40 years.
** The word metta comes to us from the Pali language from classical India. Bridging two root meanings—gentle and friend—the practice is a staple of Buddhist meditation. Although the exact phrases may differ, the essential action of Metta is a tender, heart-centered outpouring of deep wishing for ourselves, those we love, those for whom we have neutral feelings, and those that we are in conflict with.
Sangha Sunday
The next Buddha may be a Sangha.
THICH NHAT HANH
* * *
For many years I had problems finding my tribe. Holding on tightly to my individuality, I found it hard to feel that I fit perfectly into any single group. Suffering from insecurity, I rejected some with merely a second glance. I flip-flopped between wanting to belong and wishing to be alone so I could be my authentic self.
So when I first read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, I desperately wished I could try on the worn, cone-shaped Sorting Hat. (Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!) In the book, the enchanted hat magically reads each student’s mind to deduce the optimal house group based on character traits. The lucky students, now sorted, would then find their forever friends and live happily ever after (at least in my mind). When I consulted the Pottermore website’s “Discover your Hogwarts House” quiz, the virtual Sorting Hat declared me Gryffindor. However, I rebelliously proclaimed I was assuredly Ravenclaw.* Amusingly, the quiz’s results seemed to mirror my life experience, with all groups falling short of my expectations—too much this or not enough that. To cope with this tension, I’d slip on headphones, escaping to an inner private world, simultaneously disconnecting from the people around me, convinced that if I couldn’t hear you, you couldn’t see me. Tired of putting time into relationships that felt phony and shallow, I decided to bury my nose in a book instead, or sit home and binge-watch Netflix. Predictably, self-isolation quickly led to loneliness. Meanwhile, everyone online seemed to be having a perfect life, further fueling my desire not to connect.