A Charioteer's Promise

by Tanya Bird

  That was three months at best. Her breathing slowed. Three months until she would marry into one of the wealthiest families in Rome.

  She had spent time with Manius that afternoon, while waiting impatiently for Nero to return. The conversation had been stilted and uncomfortable, yet she had sensed his interest by the way he stood too close, his body overbearing and his voice too loud. Then Nero had returned and led her by the hand to a place she could breathe.

  Rufus looked up when she did not immediately reply, as though checking if she was still standing there.

  ‘Later in the season, then,’ she said, filling the awkward silence. What else was she supposed to say? She backed away towards the door. ‘Good evening, Erus.’

  The title was dated, as he was no longer her master, but she could not think of a suitable replacement. Employer? Father? If Aquila overheard her referring to their blood connection, she would beat Dulcia with the closest object in reach.

  Rufus returned to his work. ‘Good evening, Dulcia.’

  She practically fell through the door. Once she rounded the corner, she held the wall for balance. The wife of Manius Liberia. What would that life look like? She could not picture it. Was she to travel in a litter? Spend her days weaving and accepting visitors?

  Her nails dug into the wall. She would have to say goodbye to her afternoons with Nero—say goodbye to him altogether. Manius would not tolerate her keeping company with a man she did not share blood with. No husband would.

  She felt as though she were falling suddenly, and her hand went over her mouth.

  ‘Dulcia’ came a whisper. It was her mother, guiding her away from the room where her father sat, having uprooted her entire life with one statement.

  ‘I do not want to marry him,’ Dulcia whispered, grabbing her mother’s arm, preparing to beg if necessary.

  Soothing hands brushed hair back from her flushed face. ‘Shh.’ Tertia led her to the bedroom they shared, pulling the curtain across behind them to give the illusion of privacy.

  ‘I barely know him,’ Dulcia said, not waiting to be prompted.

  Tertia looked only amused. ‘Of course not. You have a lifetime for that.’

  ‘It will never work.’ She was finding it difficult to draw breath suddenly. ‘I have nothing to offer a man like him.’

  Tertia pulled Dulcia into her arms and stroked her daughter’s hair. ‘Shh. You have plenty to offer a man like Manius.’

  Dulcia pressed her eyes shut, and Nero’s face flashed in her mind, his intense gaze fixed on her.

  Nero.

  Chapter 5

  Vesta, holy mother of hearth and home. Watch over me. Guide me through this marriage, so that I might please my family and husband.

  My husband.

  The phrase jolted Dulcia every time.

  She was kneeling on the steps of the Temple of Vesta, elbows on the ground and a bread offering for the goddess in her hands. Inside the temple, the priestesses tended the flames.

  ‘Dulcia?’

  She looked up to see Licinia standing on the top step in her white robes, her hair partially covered. The priestess took in her tear-stained face before going to her. Dulcia straightened and turned to sit on the step, facing east, the same direction as the sacred fire behind her.

  ‘Whatever is the matter?’ Licinia asked as she took a seat next to her.

  Dulcia wiped her face, feeling ridiculous. She had not even realised she had been crying. ‘I am in need of Vesta’s guidance and strength.’

  The priestess watched her for a moment. ‘I know she hears your heartfelt prayers.’ Smiling, she added, ‘The priestesses just heard your sobbing. What is wrong?’

  ‘I am to marry.’

  Licinia drew a breath, excitement filling her eyes. ‘He did it. He asked your father.’

  Dulcia frowned. ‘How do you know that?’

  ‘It was only a matter of time.’

  She was talking about Nero. The realisation twisted like a knife inside her. ‘I am to marry Manius Liberia.’

  Licinia’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. ‘Oh. I was unaware the two of you were acquainted.’

  ‘Barely.’

  Licinia looked around and cleared her throat. ‘Well, Manius comes from a good family. Your mother must be pleased.’

  Dulcia blinked back tears. ‘Yes she is.’

  ‘And Rufus.’

  ‘Yes.’

  Licinia nodded. ‘Good.’

  They stared at one another, and then Dulcia leaned in. ‘Everyone except me.’

  Licinia’s face filled with pity. ‘Because you love another.’

  Dulcia’s heart thudded against her ribcage, and she gripped her stola. She opened her mouth to object, but nothing came out.

  ‘There you are’ came the familiar sound of Nero’s voice.

  She jumped and turned to see him standing at the bottom of the steps, staring up at her. As she looked at him, she realised Licinia was right. Her heart belonged to another.

  Nero could tell something was wrong the moment he spotted her. It was in her rounded back and stooped head. When she looked at him, he could tell she had been crying. She touched the backs of her hands to her cheeks, trying to remove all evidence of tears.

  ‘Nero.’ A smile masked her pain. ‘You are early.’

  Of course he was early. He had worked at twice the speed he normally did in order to get to her. The lack of sleep had only fuelled his anxiety. Manius’s smug face had taunted him since their encounter the day prior. He had come prepared for the worst, but hoped he was wrong. To hear such news from her lips would be something else entirely.

  Dulcia rose and Licinia followed, looking between them for a moment.

  ‘Licinia,’ Nero said, bowing his head at the priestess.

  She nodded in his direction.

  Nero’s gaze returned to Dulcia. ‘Ready to go?’ She was having difficulty looking at him, which was not a good sign. He tilted his head to better see her face. ‘If you need a moment, I can wait.’

  She met his eyes then, her expression bordering on broken.

  ‘I’ll be across the street when you’re ready,’ he said, turning away. ‘Take as long as you need.’ He crossed the road and fought the urge to pace. Instead, he stood in the shade, watching her gesture as she spoke, her eyes on her feet.

  After what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, she descended the steps and crossed the street to join him.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked before she had even come to a stop.

  She turned to watch Licinia disappear back into the temple, then looked both ways down the street, seemingly everywhere but at him. ‘I am to be married.’

  He had been expecting that, but the words still landed like a punch to his gut. He stepped back. ‘Married.’ Not a question, a statement.

  ‘To Manius Liberia.’

  As if he needed a family name to know who she was talking about. He had always disliked the man, but now he felt something closer to hate bubbling inside him. ‘Congratulations.’ The word fell from his mouth before he could stop himself.

  Dulcia raised her eyes to him, and he saw disappointment in them.

  ‘Congratulations?’

  ‘His family has a villa in Antium, you know.’

  She was looking at him as though he had suddenly grown horns. ‘I hear it is lovely there.’

  He nodded, and they both turned to watch a mule pass.

  ‘Does Mila know?’ he asked.

  ‘Not yet.’

  When she looked at him, he saw that the disappointment had dissolved into resentment.

  He took another step back. ‘Well, you may as well share the happy news.’ How he was speaking so calmly he had no idea. Perhaps because deep down he knew she deserved that life. She deserved a wealthy husband, a comfortable life, to travel to Antium for extended stays by the ocean. She deserved everything that man could provide—everything he could not. Only an arse of a man would get in the way of that. ‘L
et’s go.’

  Dulcia stared at him for the longest time before eventually turning away. It took Nero a moment to move also. He suddenly wondered if he was up to the task. Could he walk at her side, knowing their days were numbered? That she was no longer his to protect, that she never would be, or worse, never had been? Could he speak through the weight in his chest, the crushing disappointment? For Dulcia he could. He could push it all down, bury it, and walk her to share the news with her sister.

  They strolled towards the apartment he shared with his odd assortment of family, barely saying two words the entire journey. Dulcia managed to keep herself a full body length from him the whole walk. Probably best if she wished to avoid a potential scandal.

  At some point his childish crush had progressed into something more, something he was only now beginning to understand. He watched their surroundings, trying to think of something to say other than “don’t marry him”. But nothing came, so he resigned himself to the silence.

  When they arrived at the insulae, Dulcia climbed the stairs ahead of him, like usual, and his gaze drifted down to her hips—also like usual.

  The apartment was one of the bigger ones in the building. It was back from the noisy street and got plenty of sunlight from the light well. It had three rooms, one which Nero shared with Felix and Albaus, one for Mila, Remus, and the children, and a communal room.

  When they reached the first floor, Nero leaned around Dulcia and pushed the door open. The smell of lentil soup and bread greeted them. The children were seated on the floor playing a game, and Mila stood at the table cutting vegetables.

  ‘Dulcia,’ she said, putting down the knife and wiping her hands. ‘Nero said you might be coming by.’

  The children looked up, and the twins scrambled to their feet before running to her. She crouched, almost knocked backwards as she caught them.

  ‘Easy,’ Nero said, his hand going to her back in case she fell.

  Dulcia kissed the boys’ faces, then stood to greet Asha, who was waiting patiently behind her brothers.

  ‘Dulcia has some news,’ Nero said.

  Mila went to greet her sister. ‘Oh?’ She looked between them. ‘Judging by your serious expressions, it cannot be good news.’

  When Nero glanced at Dulcia, he found her glaring at him. With no interest in hearing the news twice, he turned away. ‘I’m going downstairs to wash.’ He disappeared into one of the rooms and returned with a towel.

  ‘Do you mind taking the boys with you?’

  Of course he did not mind. That was what family did. ‘Come on, then.’ He patted Asha’s head, then winced as the twins ran roaring for the door.

  ‘Behave!’ Mila called after them before throwing him an appreciative glance.

  He caught Dulcia’s eye a final time before she looked away.

  What had she expected? He had done and said what any person would say. Congratulations. She wondered what she would have said if the roles had been reversed. Congratulations, now excuse me while I empty my stomach on the street.

  ‘Dulcia.’

  She jumped at the sound of Mila’s impatient voice. What had she asked? ‘Sorry, what?’

  ‘I asked you what Mother said.’

  Dulcia was struggling to process the news properly herself. She was yet to have any sort of definitive reaction. ‘She is thrilled. She said any woman in my position would be falling down with gratitude.’

  Mila rolled her eyes. ‘Stupid women maybe.’

  ‘You think I should not marry him?’ It came out with more hope than she had intended.

  Mila sighed. ‘I was just saying you are not obligated to fall down with gratitude because one wealthy man took notice of you.’ She glanced over at Asha, who was practicing her reading aloud on the floor. ‘What is he like, this Manius?’

  What was he like? ‘Like any man, I suppose.’

  Mila touched her sister’s face. ‘This might come as a shock to you, but they are not all the same. It seems he has not won you over yet.’

  ‘He has always been very nice to me.’ She looked to the window.

  Mila placed a finger under Dulcia’s chin and turned her head so she had no choice but to look at her. ‘Nice? He is nice?’ Her hand fell away, and she smiled. ‘What a catch.’

  ‘I barely know him.’

  ‘He seems to know you.’

  He did not know her at all. ‘This is what Rufus has decided, so I suppose that is that.’

  Mila frowned. ‘That sounded like a question. Are you asking me?’

  ‘I cannot refuse, can I? Rufus will disown me.’

  Mila laughed. ‘He would have to own you first. Maybe this is the first step.’ She moved off her stool and went out onto the narrow balcony, where she stirred the pot of soup on top of the brazier. ‘You know you would always be welcome here if that happened.’

  ‘And share a room with the men?’ As she spoke the words, an image of a sleeping Nero popped into her mind. She had glimpsed him through the door once when she had arrived early in the morning to collect Mila. A blanket had covered him from the waist down, his torso bare. He had slept on his stomach with his hands stuffed under his pillow, looking too large for the bed.

  ‘There would be no safer place in the city for you to sleep,’ Mila replied. ‘Those men protect you like they are blood, do they not?’

  Dulcia blinked away the image of Nero she had conjured. ‘Yes.’

  ‘I must confess,’ Mila said, glancing back at her. ‘Remus and I were joking just last night that you would end up married to Nero, because he is the only man you actually talk to.’

  Dulcia’s wounded expression turned to a scowl. ‘That is not true. I spoke with Manius just yesterday.’

  ‘Did you?’ Mila suppressed a smile. ‘Or did you stare at your feet while he spoke?’

  Dulcia twisted the ring on her finger as she fought the urge to flee the room. She watched as Mila continued to stir the soup. ‘He never asked.’

  Mila looked over, her head tilted in confusion. ‘Who?’

  ‘Nero.’

  The spoon stilled. ‘Never asked what?’

  ‘Forget about it.’ Dulcia shot up, the legs of her stool scraping on the wooden floor. ‘I have to go.’

  ‘Wait a moment. To marry you?’ Mila hurried back inside. ‘Did you want him to ask?’

  ‘It does not matter what I want, does it?’

  ‘Of course it does.’ Mila held out her hands. ‘Does Nero know you feel this way?’

  Dulcia headed for the door, not answering the question.

  ‘I thought you were just friends,’ Mila called. ‘Get back here. We are not done talking.’

  She reached for the door, but it opened before she could grasp the handle. Nero stepped inside. She took a wobbly step back, and he reached out to steady her. His hands felt like they were burning holes in her flesh.

  ‘You’re leaving?’ he asked, sounding surprised.

  She pulled out of his grip. ‘Yes.’

  ‘I’ll walk—’

  ‘That is not necessary,’ she said, stepping around him. ‘I can walk myself.’ She was through the door and descending the steps before he had a chance to object.

  ‘Dulcia!’

  Her sister’s voice followed her down the stairs, but she did not stop. The moment she was free of the building, she broke into a run.

  Chapter 6

  Nero slowed the horses to a trot, a walk, and then stopped them in front of Nerva Papias. Mila and Dulcia’s half-brother was a legatus legionis in the army, a horse enthusiast, and Nero’s employer. At just twenty-seven he was young for a general, which did not sit well with some of the men in his charge.

  ‘They are looking good,’ Nerva said, walking around to inspect them closer.

  Nero secured the reins and stepped down from the chariot while another groom ran forwards to assist with the horses. ‘They’ll do well next week. With the right charioteer.’

  ‘I have found just the man. He has just returned from Gr
eece, where he made quite a name for himself.’

  Nero nodded, a familiar wave of disappointment washing over him. It was always someone else. ‘I could do it, you know. And I could win.’

  Nerva shook his head. ‘Gods, you remind me of Mila.’ He stepped back as the horses were led away. ‘You lack experience. If you die, I shall be forced to replace you. Worse than that, I will have to live with my sisters’ grief. They have grown quite attached to you.’

  The sound of approaching horses made them both look up. Manius Liberia stood atop his chariot, looking every bit the pompous fool in his bleached toga. Nero turned away, busying himself. It had been three days since news of Dulcia’s engagement had broken, and so far, he had managed to avoid both parties involved.

  ‘Good day to you, General,’ Manius said, stopping in front of Nerva and extending his arm.

  Nerva stepped up and took hold of it. ‘Good day.’

  ‘Your horses are in fine shape.’ Manius nodded in their direction. ‘You know I always appreciate quality competition.’

  Nerva grinned and crossed his arms. ‘I have Nero here to thank for that.’

  Nero glanced at Manius as he wheeled the chariot to the side of the track.

  ‘He makes a fine stable boy’ came Manius’s reply.

  Nero felt the fine hairs on his body bristle as he pretended not to hear. Three days was not long enough to get a handle on his anger. That man had everything handed to him.

  ‘I hear congratulations are in order,’ Nerva said. ‘Father told me the good news. I must confess, I was a little surprised.’

  ‘I have been getting that reaction a lot.’

  Nerva did a lap around Manius’s horses, sussing out his competition. ‘I hope you do not mind me asking this, but why Dulcia? You must have women throwing themselves at you.’

  Nero could not help but listen for Manius’s reply. The fact that the man had to think on the question only fanned the fire inside him.

  ‘She is everything a woman ought to be—modest, humble.’