Fraternizing

by C. C. Brown

  He sat back, then exhaled loudly. We sat in an uncomfortable silence for what felt like forever. The birds came and went, and the sun set even lower as the orange and purple mixture stretched across a darkening sky. I’d finally had enough, so I stood and took a few steps toward the slider glass door when he finally spoke, stopping me in my tracks.

  “Why, man?”

  “Why, what?”

  “Why her? Why now? I’m just trying to wrap my head around all of this.”

  I walked back over to where he sat, anger starting to boil deep within me.

  “There is no answer. Only a feeling and I can’t deny what I feel for her.”

  “Dude, you can fuck anything with two legs that opens up to a pussy. I don’t get why her.”

  He still didn’t get it. In his eyes, Cassie was just another piece of ass, and that should have been very easy to move away from. He was so stuck in his box that he couldn’t see that maybe, just maybe, there was more to her than what he saw, or wanted to see.

  “I don’t particularly like having to explain myself, but I’m going to go ahead and set the fucking record straight,” I grumbled. “I get that you still see life through the Corps. Fine, good for you. But, I’m lucky enough to have found someone who has helped me see life for what it is, and it’s not behind a fucking manual of rules that fail to address real life situations. I’m sorry that I fucking let my emotions come and play, and I’m sorry that you can’t understand that. But I will not apologize for falling for Bennett, and I will not allow you to make me feel fucking guilty about it.”

  “You’re wallowing in your own guilt, Alex.”

  “Why are you holding out? Why not just run to First Sergeant and end all of this for me?”

  “Because that’s not who I am. What’s done in the dark will come to light. I’m not running to tell anyone anything. But if questions get asked, I won’t lie and compromise myself.”

  “What a moral guy you are. Must make you feel so fucking good about yourself.”

  He shifted his eyes up to me. The cold icy stare looked like a stranger had taken hold of him. He wasn’t the same guy I had come to know and love.

  “I don’t understand. Because for everything that you say about her, you do something to totally contradict it.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “For starters, you willingly accept an award that makes you look like a hypocrite. And I thought your own self-worth was worth more than anything to you.” He stood, standing directly in front of me. “And Castillo. For all the fucking love in the world that you claim to have for Bennett, fucking Castillo is an awesome way of showing it.”

  “Who told you that I fucked Castillo?” The gloves were off now. I wasn’t about to have my name trashed over some shit I hadn’t done. If people wanted to judge me based off of my actions, then so be it. But to judge me on some shit I hadn’t done was grounds for some motherfucking noses to be broken.

  “Don’t act like you didn’t. I wouldn’t even give a fuck if you did, except that you claim to be so into Bennett. I can’t understand how, for the life of me, you could lead on another female. And Leti is my friend. I’ll be damned if I watch you walk all over a friend of mine, seeing as how you already have once, and especially not with someone who you shouldn’t be touching with a ten foot pole.”

  Bile rose in my throat. I was so incensed, and I knew that if I didn’t mentally talk myself down, Jensen would be on the receiving end of my fist and I just wasn’t sure if I had the energy to go another round with him. I slowly creeped over to him, standing so close that all breathing room had damn near been eliminated.

  “I thought you were fucking smarter than that, but I see you’re about as dumb as the fucking rocks lining this yard. You want to hate me? Hate me. But do it with a sense of dignity. I did not sleep with Leti on Friday, and you fucking know it. You roll around in the mud, you’re going to get dirty.”

  I stepped back and watched him. He didn’t flinch.

  “As much as you hate what I have become, I hate what you are… what I was.” I turned and took a few steps towards the door before yelling out, “And hurry up and get your shit. You aren’t the fucking person I thought you were.”

  I walked into the house and didn’t say another word to him. If he hated me, I was slowly learning to hate him right back. All of his self-righteous indignation was no more than a bucket of shit, pissed on twice as far as I was concerned. Did he have a point? Not in my mind. As long as I performed my job with no undue bias, there wasn’t shit he could say to me. My personal life was my personal life, and regardless of what the rules of the Corps said, I had reached the point of no return. Even with Cassie being mad, angry, disappointed, or whatever the fuck she was with me, I was determined to move forward.

  And moving forward meant getting her back.

  Early the next morning, I took a long run through Twentynine, letting Newsome and Jensen lead the students on their PT run. I needed as much distance from Jensen as humanly possible, and since we taught a class together, I had to steal away all I could get.

  When I did make it to base, I was on a rampage, scouring the schoolhouse and looking for Castillo everywhere that I thought she would be.

  No luck.

  One of the females in admin said she had taken leave and wouldn’t be back until after the holiday.

  Dammit!

  I walked into the classroom. Newsome already had the class going for the day. Jensen was in the back, sifting through paperwork and never once making eye contact with me. If I hadn’t had the conversation I’d had with him the night before, it would have bothered me. But today—today, he was just another co-worker of mine, and interaction was unnecessary.

  What did bother me was when I finally got a glimpse of Cassie and saw scratches on her forehead. What the fuck had happened to her? My fists subconsciously clenched into tight wads as I sat there, looking at the markings of what looked like a rabid animal. My heart lurched at the realization that something physical had happened, and I hadn’t been around to protect her. Sure, she was a Marine and was more than capable of defending herself, but that shit didn’t matter to me. Marine or not, and it was my job to make sure she was secure no matter what the circumstances.

  I sat festering in my own self-anguish. Ungodly thoughts stabbed my brain as I thought about her altercation and how I was going to handle it once I had found out the story. I was sick to my stomach with queasiness, and even angrier with the fact that I wasn’t around for her and that she hadn’t even contacted me to let me know about it.

  Had I lost her?

  Had my own self-pity made me lose out on the one thing worth fighting for? I wouldn’t allow myself to believe that. I was just going to have to work that much harder to get her back even if I had to lose every so-called friend that I had.

  I was going to get her back.

  Newsome dismissed the class for lunch, and I promptly stood, making a hasty exit out the back door. I caught sight of Cassie, her emerald green eyes locking with mine. The emptiness that lay in them before was gone; her gleam was back. I walked right over to her, not caring about all of the eyes and ears that were probably trained on us, and quietly said, “I need you, in my office, now!”

  Before she could say another word, I walked away, down the corridor, and into my office, where I took a seat and waited. A few minutes passed, and there was still no sign of her. She hadn’t texted to let me know that she wouldn’t be coming, and I was starting to get pissed by it all. Another five minutes passed and still nothing, so I stood and yanked on the door, prepared to go and find her if I had to.

  Just as I swung the door open, there she stood, looking just as fucking beautiful and delicious as the first time I had seen her. No anger or bitterness could be found in her face. I couldn’t stand there staring at her. I had to get her inside, get her speaking again, hear her angelic voice tickle my eardrums.

  I gently grabbed her hand and pulled her into my office, s
hutting the door behind her. The scratches on her forehead, while nothing too serious, sucker punched me and snatched the air away from me, leaving me grasping for it. My hand immediately floated up to them, and my fingers traced them as I grew more and more pissed by the second. She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve any bullshit that I had inadvertently brought her way.

  “I’m fine,” she finally said, her soft and delicate hand wrapping around my wrist, pulling my hand away. She smiled, easing me down from the anger filled ledge that I was standing on. “They’re just a couple of scratches, that’s all. No biggie.”

  “Who did this to you?” My voice came out a menacing growl, definitely not intended.

  “It doesn’t matter,” she replied, moving around me and taking a seat at my desk. I turned and watched her, my heart beating like it was on a sugar high. I couldn’t take her reply for an answer. I needed to know whose head I needed to rip off and stomp down.

  “It matters to me. I don’t like seeing you hurt, Blondie. It’s killing me to see this on you.”

  She lightly smiled. “I have been hurt far worse than this, Alex. I’ll survive.”

  There it was.

  A dagger for my heart.

  Piercing stabs hit me with her dig at what I had done to her. It was well deserved, but even with that admission, it didn’t take any of the sting out of her words.

  “I’ll take that. But I can’t take this. Someone deliberately went after you, and I’d lay my life on the line before I allowed that shit to happen again.”

  “It won’t happen again,” she said, casually dismissing it. “Anyway, why was it so important for you to see me?”

  Her casual response to whatever had happened had me a bit worried, but she wasn’t interested in divulging any information, so I bit my tongue—for once in my life—and went on with why I really wanted to see her.

  “I haven’t heard from you since I asked you to go away with me. I’m growing impatient. I need you with me. Especially after seeing… this.” I pointed to her scratches again which she dismissively shook off.

  “I don’t know, Alex. Your words and your actions are two different things. I let myself get caught up in you once, and you fucked me over. I’m not ready to go for seconds.”

  She wasn’t holding back. The thick whip her tongue lashed at me made me feel like the piece of shit that I knew I had turned into with my one night of drunken stupidity. There wasn’t a damn thing in the world that I wouldn’t do to take that night back.

  “You don’t owe me a goddamned thing, Blondie, but I’m asking you to take another chance on me. Remember what I was capable of doing to you within a few seconds of our eyes locking, our bodies touching, our hearts melding. I’d light my fucking face on fire if it meant I could take back all the bullshit, but I can’t. I just need you to take a leap, to see that I’ll catch you. I won’t let you fall.”

  Her eyes squinted as she cocked her head. The wheels were turning; I could hear the pins moving with every turn. Before she had a chance to counter me, I placed my arm around her waist and pulled her into me. She let out a quick breath, my knee jerk reaction taking her by surprise. I sprinkled light kisses on her lips, her cheeks, and her neck. There wasn’t a place on her body where I didn’t feel like my lips belonged.

  “You do shit to me that no woman has ever been able to do. And I won’t stop fighting to find my place back into your heart because that’s where I belong.”

  She softly exhaled before gently whispering, “You never left my heart, Alex. I’m just not sure you deserve all of it anymore.”

  I ran my lips up the side of her dainty neck, back over her jaw, up to her ear, over her heated cheeks...she was feeling every ounce of heat that I felt. Our chemistry could not be denied, but I needed her to let go of her inhibitions. I needed her to see that I was a dumb ass who made a hasty, irrational decision that was haunting me. I needed her to see that she was the one who could save me from my idiocy and ultimately save me from myself. I just needed her.

  As I softly ran the tip of my tongue over her impeccably soft lips, I used my free hand to undo her belt, freeing her cammies from the stranglehold the belt had on them. I deftly worked the buttons undone with one hand, then pulled away and looked into her eyes. They were burning with passion, and apprehension at the sight of me reclaiming what was mine and doing it in such a daring manner.

  “What are you—“

  “Shhhh. Don’t question it.”

  I swiftly picked her up and placed her down on my desk as I worked her pants and panties down her legs. Her scent had my libido on overdrive. I wanted to dive into her like a vicious predator finally getting a meal, but there was more to getting her back than just hasty fucking. I wanted her to see my sensual, caring side. I wanted her to see me.

  She lay on the desk, looking aroused and nervous all at once. I stood over her, standing in between her legs and smiling down on her. “Don’t be nervous,” I softly whispered, peeling her inhibiting clothing down even further. I thought about the door and that it was still unlocked, but I was too caught up in the moment to care.

  “You’re the only body these lips are touching,” I whispered as I lowered myself to eye level with her insanely beautiful pussy. I took my lips to her legs, dotting light kisses along the interior of her thigh. The sweetness exuded from her, tickling my nostrils, making me want to dive right in, but I told myself to be patient. This was all about her right now, and I wasn’t going to ruin the feeling for her.

  I placed one hand at her entrance, finding her clit and rubbing until moans came from her deliciously, fuckable mouth. My heart raced with every sound, sending the signal to my cock that she did indeed want me, but right now was not the time for her to have me. I continued working her clit as my lips slowly but surely made their way to her entrance, stopping just outside, before looking up to her and asking, “am I allowed in?”

  Her eyes were tightly shut, her teeth holding down her bottom lip as she whimpered and nodded her head. I didn’t give her another second to possibly change her mind before dipping my tongue inside, once again feeling the smooth warmth of her luxurious core.

  My tongue drove deeper as my fingers continued to rub her clit. She was beginning to buck on the desk, her moans growing louder and more forceful. I quickly removed my fingers from her clit and grabbed her t-shirt, forcing it up to her mouth. “Bite on that,” I mumbled into her. She took it, her moans now muffled sounds that still turned me on. I used my tongue to swirl around inside of her, lapping her up, trying to take every ounce of the intoxicating juices that were building up and beginning to flow out of her.

  “I’m coming,” she moaned, a highly erotic whimper accompanying it. Her hands moved to my head, trying to push me away, but I held strong, ready to take her orgasm on head first. “Ahhhh… ahhhh… I’m coming, Alex.”

  “Come baby. Come for me.”

  And almost on command, she came, hard and hot. Her deliciously sweet release coating my mouth like a glazed donut. Her body went limp as her chest moved up and down. I slowly made my way up, licking the release of her from my mouth, before pulling her up and kissing her. She took me, my head in her hands as our tongues gently overlapped one another. We pulled away, her eyes glossed as she looked at me with lustful admiration.

  “So will you come with me this weekend?”

  She stood from the desk and attempted to pull her pants up, but I beat her to it, squatting down and taking hold of them as I placed my nose in between her legs. She tapped my head, signaling for me to dress her.

  “I don’t know yet. It’s risky.”

  “Everything is risky. Me talking to you is risky. Me smiling at you is risky. Me tongue fucking you is risky.” I pulled her panties and pants up, then stood nose to nose with her. “I’m telling you now. You. Are. Worth. The. Risk. You understand that?”

  A spark went off in her eyes. It was like she finally realized that even though I could be insanely stupid at times, she meant everything to m
e.

  She tucked her t-shirt back into her pants, the bottom hem wet and wrinkled from acting as a gag for her loud moans and outbursts. She fastened her belt and smoothed down her hair. “I’ll let you know.”

  “Don’t make me wait. I’ll come get you, and you know it.”

  She smiled, then kissed my cheek and opened the door, looking out before stepping outside and walking away. Her taste lingered on my lips. Getting my fill of her was better than any meal that I could have eaten. She was the best thing to ever touch my tongue.