Wounded Soul

by Annabelle Jacobs

  Ian stirred again, and Jesse didn’t try shushing him back to sleep this time.

  He’d leave soon, that was unavoidable, but it didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy each other a little more first.

  Kissing the top of Ian’s head, he ran his hands a bit more firmly down his back, eliciting a sleepy moan.

  “S’good,” Ian muttered, as Jesse did it again. He let his fingers trail over the swell of Ian’s arsecheeks and was rewarded with a soft moan.

  Jesse’s cock reacted to the sound, thickening between them, and Ian’s soft laughter told him he’d felt it.

  Pushing himself up to meet Jesse’s gaze, Ian smiled, looking remarkably awake for someone who’d been out of it seconds before. “Sorry for falling asleep on you.” He didn’t look the least bit sorry, eyes bright with amusement.

  Jesse shook off his dark mood and concentrated on the feeling of Ian in his arms, for now at least. He grinned back at him. “I figured you old men need time to recover.” The irony of that statement wasn’t lost on him.

  “Oh you did, did you?” Ian raised an eyebrow and rolled his hips a little, showing Jesse that he was well on his way to being ready for another go-round. “I think I can hold my own, thank you very much.”

  Jesse laughed, then flipped their positions, pinning Ian to the bed. “But where’s the fun in that?” He started to inch down the bed, intent on having Ian in his mouth one last time, but Ian stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. He glanced up, swallowing thickly at the intensity in Ian’s expression.

  “I want you to fuck me.” The softness of his voice took nothing away from the weight of the words.

  Jesse wanted that more than anything, but could he control himself? It had never been an issue before, but Ian was different. He wanted to lose himself in Ian in every way possible, and the thought of biting down while inside him made his cock hard and his fangs ache.

  “Hey.” Ian reached up to cup Jesse’s jaw, concern clouding his features. “If that’s not something you want, we don’t have—”

  “It is,” Jesse blurted out. “Something I want,” he clarified, and ground against Ian in a way that left him in no doubt about how much Jesse wanted this. Fuck it, he’d find a way to keep his fangs to himself. No way could he leave this room without taking everything Ian was offering him.

  Pushing all his hesitation aside, Jesse kissed him.

  If this was the last time he got to do this, the last time he’d hear the soft moans Ian made or feel the heat of his body, then Jesse was going to milk it for all he was worth. Gripping Ian’s shoulders, he held him tight, deepening the kiss and sliding his cock alongside Ian’s in a slow, dirty move that had them both hard as rock.

  Burying his head in the crook of Ian’s neck, Jesse breathed in deep, savouring Ian’s scent along with the hint of sex and sweat than clung to his skin. Before temptation took a hold, Jesse pulled back and kissed Ian again, licking along his bottom lip, and teasing him with his tongue until all thoughts of biting faded into the background.

  “Top drawer.” Ian pointed to the bedside cabinet and Jesse shuffled off him to retrieve a condom and lube.

  As much as he’d have loved to feel Ian bare against him, his explanation for not needing a condom wasn’t something he could give, so he tore open the packet and rolled it on.

  Ian drew his legs up and parted his thighs, and Jesse fumbled with the lube, distracted by the sight of him.

  “Want me to do it?” Ian held a hand out, but Jesse shook his head, collecting himself enough to pour some onto his fingers and shuffled forward on his knees.

  In an ideal world, Jesse would’ve taken his time to slowly bring Ian to the edge of orgasm with his fingers and his mouth, keeping him there until he begged Jesse to fuck him. And as much as he longed to do just that, Jesse knew he couldn’t. It was going to kill him to leave as it was. If he saw Ian like that, if Ian let him . . . he’d never be able to say goodbye.

  With a gentle touch, Jesse rubbed the pads of his fingers over Ian’s hole before pushing inside.

  Ian’s head fell back into the pillow, a slight tremor running through his thighs as Jesse let himself have a moment to enjoy this, enjoy the feel of Ian’s warmth around him.

  And it’s only going to get better.

  The thought sent a wave of longing through him, and Jesse had never wanted to fuck someone so badly in his life. He carefully withdrew his fingers, not able to wait any longer, and positioned himself between Ian’s legs.

  Jesse met his gaze, keeping eye contact as he pushed inside, inch by inch, until nothing separated them. “Fuck,” he whispered, reverently, unable to stop himself looking at Ian in awe because he felt so hot, so good, and so right. Jesse was momentarily stunned.

  “All right?” Ian murmured, wrapping his legs around Jesse’s back and sliding his hands along Jesse’s shoulders.

  “Yeah, I just—” Jesse didn’t have the words for how he felt, probably wouldn’t have said them if he did, because how would he expect Ian to ever understand? “—needed a moment.” Collecting himself, Jesse drew his hips back and slowly pushed inside again, torturing them both.

  Grabbing Jesse’s arse with both hands, Ian’s urged him to go harder. “Fuck me like you want to,” he whispered, kissing up the side of Jesse’s neck. He nipped the side of Jesse’s throat and the hint of teeth almost made Jesse hiss with pleasure, but he caught himself in time. He couldn’t stop his hands from tightening on Ian’s shoulders, and Ian grinned up at him.

  “I know you want to go harder than this, I can feel it.” He gave Jesse’s arse a squeeze and bucked against him. “Do it. You won’t break me.”

  Oh, but I could, so easily.

  Focusing solely on the feel of Ian wrapped around him, Jesse blocked out everything else and let go just a little.

  Ian cried out as he slammed into him, Jesse’s iron grip keeping him in place as he fucked him as hard as he dared. The sound of their skin slapping together filled the room, Ian’s short sharp breathing a staccato accompaniment, and Jesse let it all wash over him, let it pull him towards an orgasm too-rapidly approaching.

  He wanted to stay in this moment, revel in the way they fit together, bodies entwined so fully Jesse couldn’t see how they’d ever part, but pleasure engulfed him, too strong to hold back this time, and when he felt Ian’s cock pulse against him—warm wetness coating his stomach—he was done.

  Jesse came with a muffled cry as he pressed his face into Ian’s shoulder, body shuddering with aftershocks as he held Ian tight. With his scent surrounding him, a contentedness settled over him, and Jesse smiled.

  “Wow,” Ian whispered, laughing softly. His breath still came a little fast, and Jesse was forced to make himself pull air into his redundant lungs, reality crashing back in with an abruptness Jesse wasn’t prepared for.

  Ian must’ve sensed the sudden change in him, because he pushed gently on Jesse’s shoulder until he propped himself up on his elbows and met his gaze.

  “Everything okay?” Ian’s brow furrowed, and Jesse reached up to smooth it out with a thumb.

  “Yeah,” Jesse lied, managing a small smile. “I’m just knackered.” Ian grinned up at him and Jesse’s smile widened, coming easier this time.

  “Good. For a minute there I thought it was just me who had jelly limbs.” He cupped Jesse’s jaw and drew him into a languid kiss, his tongue seeking out Jesse’s, and for one blissful moment Jesse forgot about everything but the solid feel of Ian underneath him, around him.

  But it couldn’t last forever.

  “As much as I like having you on top of me, I kind of need to breathe too.” Ian slid his hands down Jesse’s back, settling them on his hips, and gave him a gentle nudge.

  Taking the hint, Jesse carefully pulled out and rolled onto his back to take care of the condom.

  Ian turned onto his side to face him, eyelids heavy but smile still in place. “I’m gonna be so knackered in the morning.”

  Jesse leaned over the side of the be
d and fished his phone out of his jeans pocket. 3.55am. He’d have to leave soon. “Up to anything nice tomorrow?” He asked, pushing the thought of going to the back of his mind.

  “Might go for a run, get some fresh air. And possibly a nap at some point.” Ian yawned, jaw cracking. He put his hand over his mouth with a muffled, “Sorry,” then cuddled a little more into Jesse’s side.

  Jesse automatically wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in closer. He should be making his excuses, but he couldn’t bring himself to let go. The warmth of Ian tucked into his side was like a drug, keeping him rooted to the spot.

  Soon enough Ian’s breathing evened out, his body relaxing into Jesse’s, and Jesse closed his eyes, imagining what it would be like if he didn’t have to rush off before the sun made an appearance.

  He gave himself ten more minutes to enjoy holding Ian like that. Wringing as much from their time together as he possibly could. On the one hand it seemed ludicrous that he felt this way after just two nights together, but there was no denying the connection they had, the potential for more, and it was that part that hurt the most. Jesse could easily see how good they could be together if things were different.

  If he was different.

  One last kiss to Ian’s forehead, then Jesse eased himself out from under him and tucked the quilt around Ian’s shoulders.

  He dressed in silence, not taking his eyes off the bed, but Ian didn’t stir once. Jesse lingered in the doorway, part of him willing Ian to wake up and stop him, but deep down he knew this was for the best.

  Jesse had never hated being a vampire more than he did at that moment.

  If you weren’t, you’d have died years ago and would never have met him.

  Affording himself one last look, he turned and walked out of Ian’s flat and his life.

  “FUCK.” SUN SHONE through Ian’s bedroom window, curtains wide open where he’d forgot to close them the night before, and he slapped a hand over his eyes. He knew without looking that the space next to him was empty, but it still hurt when he turned over and saw the evidence for himself.

  Not even a goodbye?

  If it had been the first time they’d fucked, Ian would’ve shrugged and not thought more beyond it was a bit of an arseholish thing to do. But this was the second time they’d been together. Jesse had sought him out and had spent all night with him. Not that Ian was stupid enough to think that meant this was long-term or anything, but he’d at least thought they were a little more than a one-off now. That he warranted waking for a sleepy goodbye. Or a note.

  But there was nothing.

  Even lifting the pillows and searching under the quilt didn’t reveal anything.

  Jesse was just gone.

  Bastard.

  He scrubbed his hands over his face and sighed.

  That was that then.

  Reaching over to the bedside cabinet for his phone, Ian’s heart leapt when he saw a message waiting for him.

  From Jesse.

  Guilt at misjudging him started to creep in, but it stopped abruptly as Ian opened the message and started to read.

  Hey, sorry for leaving without waking you, but I think it’s better all around if I do this without having to look at you naked. I can’t see you again, can’t be with you like the last two times. Circumstances dictate that things can’t go any further between us, and it’s safer for us both if we stop it now before anyone gets too involved and hurt. Goodbye Ian.

  Ian read the message a couple more times, then sat staring at his phone. Was it just him or was it a weird message to leave? Even though he’d thought he deserved an explanation for Jesse’s abrupt departure, the text itself just struck him as odd. Wordy, maybe? It made Ian feel that there’d been more between them than just sex, and that by Jesse ending it now, he was missing out on something great. Not a feeling he enjoyed, and it pissed him off that Jesse had caused that. Setting his phone down on the bed, he blew out a breath.

  Fuck Jesse.

  And fuck his ridiculous texts. Circumstances dictate. Who the hell talked like that?

  For lack of anything better to do, Ian snatched his phone back up and texted Cate.

  Hey, you awake?

  The reply came back quicker than he was expecting. Well I am now, you arse. Some of us worked till late last night, remember?

  Checking the time, Ian winced. It felt much later than ten past eight.

  Shit, sorry. Didn’t realise the time.

  You alone?

  Yes, why?

  Ian’s phone rang a second later, and Cate’s sleepy voice greeted him when he answered. “Why are you up so bloody early? I’m pretty sure you got less sleep than me last night.”

  His sigh clearly gave everything away, because she didn’t even wait for him to answer. “Didn’t go well last night? From where I was standing, the two of you looked—”

  “Last night was fine. Fantastic even. It’s this morning that sucks.”

  “Oh.” Silence. Then, “He left without waking you?”

  “Yep.” The whole thing still stung. “Then I got a text telling me . . . well, I’ll read it to you.” He put her on speaker, scrolled through for the message, and read it aloud. It sounded even more uptight when read like that.

  “Wow. He sounds like an old romance novel where the hero has some deep dark secret that means he has to leave his love in the dead of night or they’ll both die.”

  Ian barked out a laugh, smiling for the first time that morning. “I was going for weird. What the hell have you been reading lately?”

  “Awesome books, which you with your narrow mind and lack of imagination would never appreciate.”

  “Mhmm. Whatever.” He had imagination. “And I’m not narrow-minded.”

  Now Cate laughed. “Yeah, I know, but you do lack the required mindset to appreciate the literary excellence of my fantasy books. Anyway, back to Jesse.” She sighed down the phone, sounding like Ian felt. “It is a weird message to send, but he struck me as a little eccentric for someone so young. Maybe he just likes to use a lot of words.”

  “Maybe.” Not that it mattered, and he said as much. “The end result is, I won’t be seeing him again.”

  “Huh.”

  Ian frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing.” She sighed again. “Just that you two looked good together. I thought you’d finally found someone to take your mind off Blake.”

  “I haven’t thought about him much lately.” The realisation surprised him, but it was true. He hadn’t. Jesse had been a lovely distraction while he’d lasted.

  “Really?” Cate sounded sceptical, and Ian couldn’t blame her. He’d been hung up on Blake for a long while.

  “Yeah, surprising as it seems.”

  “What about now?”

  Now you’ve no longer got Jesse as a distraction.

  Ian thought about Blake, pictured him in all his glory at the club, and tried to gauge how he felt about him.

  Do I still love him?

  Yes.

  But he was one of Ian’s best friends. He’d probably always love him.

  Did he fancy him though? Was he in love with him? Those were the real questions.

  He ran a hand through his hair, head resting back against the pillow. “I don’t know, Cate. He’s still Blake.”

  She laughed. “So you still think he’s hot.”

  “Yeah. But maybe . . . objectively so.” He tried to picture him and Blake in bed together, but it was Jesse’s face he kept seeing. Someone else he couldn’t have. Ian closed his eyes. “I’m not so caught up in him as I was before. I think being with Jesse opened my eyes to the fact that there are other guys out there, and I shouldn’t focus all my time on something that’s never going to happen.”

  There was a moment and then, “Thank fuck for that.” Cate sounded so relieved it made him laugh.

  “I wasn’t that bad.”

  “Oh come on!”

  “Fine,” Ian conceded. “Maybe I was, but hopefully that�
��ll stop now and we can all go back to being great friends but nothing more.”

  “I know it’s not what you wanted, but trust that I say this with love for you both . . . You are so not right for each other. Best friends is by far the better option.”

  Ian didn’t know whether to be offended or not. Best probably to let it go. “When’s he back anyway?”

  Cate hummed, “Monday evening, I think. Probably why we’re not seeing him until Tuesday night.”

  “Yeah, that makes sense.” Having little to no contact with him for two weeks felt strange. Normally they texted at least once every couple of days and always saw each other in the week. “Wonder how he’s getting on?”

  “I’m sure he’s both doing great and managing to piss people off.” She laughed, and Ian grinned.

  “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

  Ian could almost hear the wheels turning in her mind and wasn’t at all surprised when she brought up the subject of vampires.

  “So,” she began, voice a little less confident than moments before. “What sort of stuff do you think they’re teaching him?”

  He hadn’t really given it much thought. “How to catch them maybe? Um . . . I have no idea.”

  “If it’s a secret task force, I wonder how much he can even tell us about it.”

  Ian snorted. “Pretty sure he shouldn’t have even told us he was joining it. You know he’s shit at keeping secrets when it comes to us.” Hopefully that wouldn’t come back to bite him in the arse. Neither he nor Cate would ever spill Blake’s secrets, but that fact probably held little weight to those in charge of the VLCD. Not that his bosses would ever find out.

  Ugh. It was all far too heavy for this early on a Saturday. “I’m sure we’ll hear all about everything when he gets back. Anyway. I’m gonna go back to sleep for an hour or so. Despite Jesse fleeing in the early hours, I didn’t get that much sleep.”

  “Yeah, sounds like a plan.” He heard the smile in her voice. Then she yawned, and so did Ian. “You still okay to meet me tonight, or . . . ?”

  He had hoped to meet Jesse at the bar again for a repeat performance, but that wasn’t going to happen now. It hurt, if he was honest, more than he wanted it to. “’Course,” he answered, forcing thoughts of Jesse to the back of his mind. “Might be a bit later though, nearer the end of your shift if that’s all right?”