The Chronicles of Moxie

by Z. B Heller

  “That’s very sweet. Dillion, why don’t you put your stuff in your cubby and get ready for morning meeting?” I said.

  Dillion nodded and ran to his cubby.

  Miles stood straight and came out of the trance he looked like he was in. “I need to get going. I just wanted to walk Dillion in for his second day. He’s still adjusting to everything.”

  I nodded. “Well, have a pleasant day, Mr. Dane.”

  “I think now I will.” The corner or his mouth curled up and he walked out.

  “Miss Summers?” Riley called out. “Seth just said that earthworms look likes penises.”

  It was going to be a long day.

  Chapter Five

  Lunch time rolled around and I was relieved that I could finally kick my kids out for some space. I was starting to mentally crack when Austin told the class about his daddy telling his mommy his favorite animal was a one-eyed snake. Then Austin proceeded to ask where one-eyed snakes came from and if he could get one as a pet.

  I opened my computer to see if I’d got a response from David yet. I also had a work email set up on my laptop and noticed that I had something in my inbox.

  To: msummers@d521.org

  From: iliketoyap@ibsglobal.net

  9:55 a.m. CST

  Subject: Classroom Party

  Hello Miss Summers,

  It’s that time of year to plan for our Spring Into Spring class party. I have some great ideas and have been talking to the other parents. We were thinking about having a nature theme this year. I know my girl scouts LOVE to do things outdoors. I’ll let you know when I have more details.

  Have a happy day!

  Marsha Simmons

  Like mother, like daughter. Marsha Simmons was the leader in Katie’s scout troupe, and equally annoying. To make matters ten times worse, she was also head of the school PTO. She had two other daughters in the school, and only one of them I liked. That was probably because she was a small version of Marilyn Manson and went against everything her mother stood for. I can neither confirm nor deny I saw her trap a roach and eat its head.

  Finally, I checked my regular mail. Sure enough, David did write me back.

  To: moxiebun86@ibsglobal.net

  From: tennispro4u@sancoequip.com

  9:23 a.m. CST

  Subject: Re: Re: Hello

  Moxie,

  I actually grew up in Chicago and went to the University of Arizona for school. I stayed there because I got a job working for a health club organization. I came back here when the offer at Sanco Group came up. I don’t know if I would have intentionally left warm weather and traded it in for snow. I hear that you’re a teacher. What grade do you teach? I don’t think I could work with kids.

  David

  David Goldman

  Senior Vice President

  Sanco Sports Company

  Well played, Mr. Goldman. Very suave. He was also playing the non-desperate card. So he worked for a sports company and used to work for a health club organization. I was thinking that he must have a really fit body. I could imagine myself licking up ripped abs and him throwing me around like a sack of flour with his strong arms. Maybe he likes to do it on elliptical machines. All that bouncing could provide one hell of a…

  “Hey, did you eat yet?” Renee came strolling in.

  “Not yet. I was just reading my email. There is another guy Martha is trying to set me up with.”

  “Have you lost your fucking mind? Are you purposely trying to put yourself in an asylum? I would just like to let you know that I would not visit you. Remember that guy that ended up in the nut house?”

  “Yeah. Didn’t you put him there?” I chuckled.

  “I was getting confused with all of his multiple personalities. Although, I did like the personality that acted like a horse wanting to be ridden.”

  Renee and I both laughed at that. We’d both had some interesting participants in our beds in the past.

  Renee eyed me. “I think you still take the prize for the most fucked-up sex.”

  I knew exactly what she was referring to, and it sent shivers down my spine. I had gone out with a guy I’d met at a bar. We actually hit it off great and went to his place after a movie that he let me pick. We started to get down and dirty when he reached for the lube that was in his bathroom medicine cabinet.

  Unfortunately, it was nitroglycerin paste, a heart drug that can cause a potentially fatal drop in blood pressure. His dad had left it at his apartment when he was visiting. His roommate found us passed out and naked. After a trip to the ER for fluids and observation, I decided to stock my purse with my own personal lubricant.

  “Last time I checked, this wasn’t a pissing contest of the worst sexual experiences.”

  Renee laughed. “Well, that’s a good thing, because you’d outrun me by a mile. Let’s get back to the real issue. What’s the deal with the guy who emailed you?”

  “His name is David and he’s just moved back to Chicago from Arizona.”

  “And?”

  “And there isn’t that much other than that. He’s being pretty mysterious,” I responded.

  “He probably has warts or pustules on his back and he gets off on you popping them,” Renee joked.

  “Well, so much for eating my lunch.” I pushed my lunch away on the desk.

  “Miss Summers?”

  Renee and I turned our heads to the door to see Dillion standing there with his lunch bag.

  “I’ll leave you to your visitor,” Renee said. She grabbed the rest of her lunch and headed to the vultures in the staff lounge.

  “Hi, Dillion. Is there something wrong with your lunch?”

  “No, it’s just the other kids aren’t really talking to me so I asked the lunch lady if I could come back here.”

  Suddenly, I felt like a momma bear wanting to rip the limbs off the people hurting her baby cub. However, I didn’t think the janitor would have appreciated the bloodbath when he was already stuck cleaning the dried-up pee on the urinals.

  “Come on in. You can eat with me and we will have a discussion with the class about being welcoming to our new friends.”

  Dillion came barreling towards me, his floppy brown hair bouncing with every step. He was really a cute kid. But then it wasn’t really a surprise, considering the wonderful loins he had come from.

  “So, is Chicago different from Maine?” I questioned.

  “Yeah. You guys have a lot more automobiles and really tall architecture.”

  I stared at him, wondering how this kid got the vocabulary of an adult.

  “Chicago is known for its architecture. You should tell you dad that you want to go on the architectural tour down the Chicago River.”

  “Miss Summers, are you married?” Dillion changed subjects. I was taken aback by his question.

  “No, not yet,” I answered.

  “You have a boyfriend?”

  “I didn’t say that either.”

  “Well, why not?”

  “Dillion, is this the Spanish Inquisition?

  “No, Miss Summers. The Spanish Inquisition was in 1478,” Dillion retorted.

  I suddenly felt that it was Dillion who should have been sitting in my spot as the teacher and I, the student. I didn’t even know what the Spanish Inquisition was, just that people use that phrase all the time. I looked at this small child as he ate his lunch that Miles probably put together for him. My heart ached a little, knowing that Dillion didn’t have his mom to make his lunches or brush his floppy hair aside when it got into his eyes.

  “It must be tough for you to start in a new town and a new school.” I looked at Dillion with sympathetic eyes.

  “A little, but dad said we can get a dog as soon as we move into our house.”

  This made me curious. Where the hell were they staying? In a hotel? A half-way house? On the streets? Oh my God. I had to rescue this poor boy from a life of eating out of dumpsters!

  I looked at the clock and it was 12:50 and time to pick up the kids fr
om the lunch room.

  “Dillion, thank you for joining me for lunch today,” I said.

  “Thanks, Miss Summers. Dad said you were funny, but I think you’re nice to talk to.”

  If I was enchanted by this young boy, who seemed wise beyond his years, I was certainly screwed when it came to the older and sexy as hell version of him.

  Chapter Six

  The rest of the week flew by relatively fast. I hadn’t responded to David’s email yet, still playing the whole who-is-more-mysterious game. I was at my apartment, getting ready for Ryan’s get-together, and was waiting for Renee to meet me. We’d agreed on taking the L, as we knew alcohol would be part of the evening’s festivities and neither of us wanted to claim the position of designated driver.

  It is much more fun to act the crazy drunk ass on the train at three in the morning than take the risk of driving yourself home. One time I was coming home from a date and a guy on the train asked if I had ever seen yellow waterfalls. I knew that, since this guy was stone cold drunk, I would get a fascinating explanation. What I wasn’t expecting was him whipping out his dick and peeing on the train’s floor.

  The outfit I had chosen for this party wasn’t overly hoochie, but definitely had an element of it’s-ok-to-grab-my-breast-and-do-your-best-motorboat-impression in it. I had chosen my favorite black tunic top and a pair of skinny jeans with black boots. The top sort of had that peasant feel about it, but I wasn’t wearing a shell underneath, which turned it into a dirty-farm-girl instead.

  I grabbed my purse and went downstairs to wait for Renee. About five minutes later she showed up in a tight mini skirt and a v-neck halter top accompanied by 4-inch fuck-me shoes.

  “What the hell are you wearing? I thought we were going to a get-together, not auditioning for Jersey Shore,” I said.

  “Since Ryan has someone he wants me to meet, I figured I needed to dress up. Is it too much?”

  “Umm, I wouldn’t say that there is too much anywhere on your body. Plus it’s only March. Where the hell is your jacket?”

  “What are you, my mother, Moxie? I wanted some cold air to hit me, so when we get to the party my headlights will be at full attention.”

  I rolled my eyes and shook my head at her.

  Renee and I walked to the closest L station. We gathered with all the other Chicago people waiting for the next train to pass. I was looking around the platform when something, or should I say someone, caught my eye.

  “Oh, shit,” I whispered. Renee heard me and whipped around.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  I knew that balding head as he made his way through the crowd. Joel was aiming straight towards me like a missile finding its target.

  “Moxie!” he said.

  “Joel.” I plastered on a fake smile. “What are you doing here?”

  “I was just catching the train back from work. I haven’t heard from you. How’s your grandma?”

  I had to take a moment to think about what the hell he was talking about. Then I remembered the batch of lies I told him to escape his apartment with my coochie and pride intact.

  “Oh, she passed away, very sad.” I pouted at him.

  “Sorry to hear that. Well, maybe now we can get together and have sessions two and three.”

  He winked at me. Suddenly, I felt the slime that was oozing off him cover my body.

  “What the fuck?”

  I turned around to Renee.

  “Who the hell is this?” she cried.

  I looked at her like she’d lost her last wing nut.

  “Umm, this is Joel. Joel, this is Renee.”

  “Joel? So this is the fucktwat you cheated on me with? I thought we already talked about this and you got your dick fantasy out of the way.”

  I continued looking at Renee, my eyes wide as saucers. It took me a minute until I realized what she was doing. She was rescuing me.

  “Right. Oh, sweetie, it meant nothing. I told you that nobody’s dick could compare to the warmth of your pussy.” I grabbed her ass for added effect.

  “So you too are…girlfriends?” Joel questioned as he pointed his finger between us.

  “Yes, Renee is my lover. She is a very jealous person.” I put my hand by my mouth as if to hide what I was saying from Renee. “But she’s a beast in the bedroom.”

  Joel looked stunned. We all sat there for a brief minute and absorbed Joel’s embarrassment.

  “Ok, well, I have to get home to um…”

  “Sure, of course,” I interrupted. “Thanks for letting me try your goods out that night.” I smiled and grabbed Renee’s ass so hard she let out a yelp.

  Joel ran to the other side of the platform to wait for the train. I let go of Renee’s ass and turned to her.

  “Thank you.” I let out a breath.

  “Hey, what are friends for if they can’t act like a lesbian for you in times of crisis?”

  I laughed and saw a homeless man sitting by the wall eyeing us and smiling.

  “Sorry, dude. Show’s over,” I growled. The look of disappointment on his face indicated that our show had been the highlight of his night.

  Ryan and Tom lived in an apartment in Lincoln Park. It was very yuppy and I was horribly jealous that they lived so close to the lake. But with Tom being an engineer and Ryan working for NBC as a producer, they could certainly afford it.

  Tom opened the door. “My two favorite minxes have just arrived. Now the real party can begin!” He closed us in for a huge hug and a double cheek kiss.

  “Were is your worse half?” I asked.

  “He’s getting some appetizers out of the fridge. Come on in and relax.”

  Renee and I strolled in. I did a quick scan of the room, but did not recognize any of the faces in there. I walked into the kitchen to see if Ryan needed any help getting the food ready. His head was deep inside their Sub-Zero refrigerator.

  “Hey, dildo sucker. Need some help?” I asked.

  “Hello to you too, nipple licker.”

  “I’ve come to assist in serving your kingdom.” I leaned back against the counter, opened the bag of nuts sitting there and popped one in my mouth. I was starving, since I hadn’t eaten that much earlier.

  “Do you like sucking on my nuts?” Ryan asked with a snicker.

  “Best damn nuts in town.” I grinned. “So who’s this dude that you want to set Renee up with?”

  “A guy that is doing some freelance stuff at the station. New to the area. Seemed like her type, without the asshole component.”

  I helped Ryan carry the appetizers to the living room. People flocked to the food like lions circling around an antelope carcass. I was curious whether Renee’s set-up was here yet, so I sought her out in the crowd. I found her chatting up a nice Indian guy with beautiful features. He had dark black hair that was a cross between curly and shaggy, brown eyes and smooth golden skin. I approached the two of them.

  “Hey, sorry to interrupt,” I said.

  “Moxie! This is Raj. Raj, this is my best friend, Moxie. We work at the same school.”

  “Pleasure to meet you.” He grabbed my hand and shook it with a firm grip. He had a British accent, which surprised me. Not that I was expecting him to be unintelligible, like the guy I talked to when I called for laptop support.

  “You as well.” I nodded toward him. Can I borrow Renee for a bit? I promise to bring her right back.”

  “Of course,” he said. “I’ll just go top off my drink. Can I get anything for you, fine ladies?”

  “Oh, we’re good,” I said. But Renee was looking at him like he was a new shiny car.

  “Very well then.” He walked to the bar.

  “Holy shit,” Renee said. “Did you hear that accent? I want to do crazy things with that British tongue.”

  “Is that the guy that Ryan wants to set you up with?” I asked.

  “No. Ryan said he was running late.” Renee’s eyes were now firmly glued to Raj’s ass as he poured himself a drink at the bar.

  A
s if on cue, Ryan approached from behind us.

  “Renee,” he called out. “This is the man I wanted to introduce you to.”

  We both turned around and our jaws opened wide, like a baby’s when ready to be taken to the nipple.

  In front of us, next to Ryan, stood Miles Dane.

  “I need a drink,” I said abruptly.

  I drove through Miles and Ryan and headed towards the bar without looking back. Was it possible that fate hated me enough to send this man into all possible situations I was in?

  I reached the bar and found a shot glass hidden beneath the counter. I found the tequila and filled up the shot glass. I took a swig while closing my eyes, wishing that Miles would disappear when I open them. I peeked through one eye and found my wish had not been granted. I took another shot.

  “You should probably slow down there,” Raj’s voice echoed in my ear.

  “I was thirsty. Or should I say parched, because that sounds classier?”

  Raj let out a quiet laugh. “Something tells me that classy may not be your strong suit.”

  “I would like to let you know that I won Miss Congeniality for prom court in high school,” I lashed at him.

  “Don’t you mean prom queen?” He glanced at me with knitted eyebrows.

  “No. That honor went to Misty Collins. She sucked the entire football team to sway the vote. I would have offered, but I was worried that my braces would draw blood,” I confessed.

  “Well, as a part of the male community, I thank you for being so considerate of our genitals.” Raj tipped his glass up in a salute. “What is your friend Renee’s background?” he added.

  “Well, she was born in Michigan, she’s an Aries and she has one fake tooth.”

  “Fascinating. But, I’m more curious about her relationship status. Is she seeing anyone?”

  I glanced over in Renee’s direction. She was talking to Ryan and Miles, but seemed uncomfortable in the conversation, and I knew why. She was the only other one that knew Miles was the man I’d regurgitated on.