Earthman Jack vs. The Ghost Planet

by Matthew Kadish

  As soon as Jack saw this, he ran out from behind his cover and began firing at the Deathlord, causing the Dark Soldier to dodge his plasma blasts and giving Grohm the time he needed.

  With a burst of speed, Grohm lunged toward the final Deathlord. With a powerful shoulder thrust, he slammed into the Dark Trooper with the force of a mack truck, sending him flying back into the wall like roadkill.

  As the Dark Trooper struggled to his feet, Grohm descended upon him. With one sweep of his arms, he knocked the weapon from the soldier’s hand. A massive fist landed squarely in the Deathlord’s gut, and a swift kick to the back of the Deathlord’s legs brought the soldier to its knees. Grohm then grabbed the Deathlord’s head between his two massive hands and squeezed until the Dark Soldier’s helmet crushed together like an aluminum can. The soldier’s body erupted into black grains of dust as it disintegrated between Grohm’s fingers.

  Jack ran down the hallway just in time to see the Deathlord’s body waft away. “Dude!” cried Jack. “That was the coolest thing I think I’ve ever seen in my life! I mean, a head’s up would have been nice, but… WOW! You totally crushed that guy’s head!”

  Grohm sneered and inspected his shoulder. Jack saw that the blast had torn through his armor and there was blackened and scorched skin underneath.

  “Are you okay?” asked Jack.

  “Fine,” grumbled Grohm as he picked up his fallen plasma shotgun. Grohm quickly checked the weapon and then moved toward the entrance the Deathlords had been guarding. Jack followed behind as they made their way into the narrow hallway. Grohm walked quickly, with Jack rushing to keep up.

  “Grohm! Big guy!” cried Jack, trying to get his companion’s attention. “Hold up! Wait!”

  The Rognok didn’t slow down. Finally, Jack ran past him and stood in his way, a few feet from the final entrance.

  Grohm stopped and looked down at Jack, a deep grunt escaping from him.

  “Look, all your awesomeness aside, before we head down there, we need to get on the same page. We’re a team, we need to communicate if we’re gonna make it out of here, okay?”

  Grohm glared at Jack in a way that made him a bit uncomfortable. But Jack soldiered on.

  “Okay, so remember the plan we came up with earlier,” said Jack, unstrapping the grenade belt from his waist and holding it out to Grohm. “We wait for Anna to open the seal, then sneak up on the Deathlord. You strap these grenades to him and toss him as far away as possible before he gets a chance to react. We grab Anna, and run for it, and hope to God the blast is enough to destroy him or at least to slow him down.”

  Grohm’s eyes narrowed as he looked at the grenade belt. “No,” he replied.

  Jack hesitated a moment at Grohm’s response. “Look, I know it’s not the best plan, but at least it gives us a chance to get out of there.”

  “Earthman take the Regal Princess,” Grohm said. “Grohm will stay behind.”

  Jack gazed at Grohm, taken aback. “But… but he’ll kill you.”

  Grohm snorted. Somehow, Jack knew that’s what the massive alien seemed to be expecting. “No,” Jack replied. “You don’t have to. We can still make it out, all of us.”

  “Grohm doesn’t want to make it out,” the Rognok replied. “Grohm wants to fight. Grohm wants to face Deathlord Supreme.”

  “But… but why?”

  “Revenge,” said the Rognok, simply.

  Jack gazed into Grohm’s narrow red and black eyes, and suddenly it all made sense. His time with the alien in the Pit, why he had agreed to Jack’s crazy, suicidal plan… it became clear that Grohm hadn’t backed Jack because he thought he would succeed, but rather because Jack was the best chance he had at getting to the Deathlord Supreme.

  “The Deathlords,” said Jack. “They destroyed your planet. So you’re trying to get revenge on the ones responsible?”

  Grohm nodded.

  “That’s why you were in the Pit,” continued Jack. “You tracked them down…”

  “Grohm was in exile,” the Rognok said. “Far from Rognok planet when destroyed. Searched for the Deathlord fleet. Was captured when Grohm found them.”

  “And you came with me… why? So they could kill you, too?”

  “Rognoks do not fear death, Earthman,” grumbled the alien. “Grohm will face Deathlord Supreme, and Grohm will make him suffer.”

  “But you saw how powerful he is!” pleaded Jack. “He can’t be killed!”

  “Everything can be killed.”

  “Listen to me,” said Jack. “Pounding on him for a little while and letting him kill you is not the way for you to get revenge for your planet. You really want revenge? Let’s get Anna out of here safely and all of us get away to fight another day. That’ll drive the Supreme bonkers!”

  Jack held up the grenade belt to Grohm again. Grohm reached out and gently pushed it back toward Jack. “Earthman saves Regal Princess. Earthman part of Grohm’s revenge. Cannot blow up Deathlord Supreme. Deathlord is too powerful. Grohm will face him while Earthman flees. It is only way.”

  “You’re going to sacrifice yourself, so we can escape?”

  “It is the way Grohm chooses to die.”

  “In battle,” said Jack, sadly. “Against a worthy foe.”

  “A glorious death. One every Rognok lives for.”

  “But it’s still death,” said Jack. “Can’t you—”

  “No.”

  Jack looked at Grohm helplessly. He thought he could see a hint of sadness in the alien’s eyes, but Grohm had made up his mind, and Jack knew there was nothing he could say to get him to change it. Jack could feel tears welling in the corners of his eyes. He did not want to see his friend die, but deep down, he knew their plan was risky. If Grohm could hold off the Deathlord Supreme long enough, it was his best chance to get Anna to safety. Jack choked back his emotion and quickly rubbed away the tears.

  “You’ve wanted this showdown for a long time, huh?”

  Grohm nodded.

  “Okay,” he said. “We’ll do it your way, big guy.”

  Jack strapped the grenade belt back around his waist and gazed toward the opening before them. “But I want you to do me one favor,” said Jack.

  Grohm looked at Jack questioningly. Jack turned to him and smiled.

  “There’s something I want to say to this jerk before you kick his butt. Can you give me that chance?”

  Grohm’s lips curled into a hint of a smile.

  “Grohm can do that,” he replied.

  * * *

  Scallywag paced back and forth nervously, his fingers brushing the handles of the pistols at his sides. He kept looking toward every possible door into the room, as if at any moment one could open to unleash a flood of Deathlord soldiers upon them.

  Green stood at the nearby console, a cheery smile on his face as he happily typed away at it, doing whatever it was he was doing. Scallywag wasn’t an expert at computers, but he wished that whatever it was the Professor was doing, he’d hurry up and get it done.

  “Care to speed it up any?” the pirate muttered.

  “I am going as fast as I can,” replied Green.

  “Figure out how to go faster,” grumbled Scallywag. “More Deathlords could be here any moment.”

  “I know we’re not that familiar with each other, dear fellow,” said Green. “But I think I should point out I do not work better under pressure.”

  Scallywag rolled his eyes. It hadn’t taken the two long to find what looked like a control room attached to the hanger bay they had entered. It had an overview of the entire hangar, but in addition to a doorway that led up to it from below, it also had a second entrance in the back of the room, and the hangar itself had three or four doorways that appeared to lead back into the ship. That was far too many entrance points for Scallywag’s liking. He’d narrowly escaped the Deathlord mothership before, and being back on it didn’t make him feel comfortable in the slightest. The sooner the Professor was able to do what he needed to get done, the sooner they could b
e on their way.

  Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like the Professor was making much progress.

  “Listen, mate,” said Scallywag. “I don’t know how the Deathlords do things, but if they sent an escort ta this hanger, that means they’re gonna start wondering what happened to ‘em eventually, and we’ve already been here far too long. What is the hold up?”

  Green let his smile turn upside down with frustration. “This task might be a bit more difficult than I’d anticipated.”

  Scallywag raised an eyebrow. “Ya saying ya can’t do it?”

  “No, no, I can do it,” replied the Professor. “It’s just…”

  “Just what?”

  Green sighed. “Anything I do here can be undone by the Deathlord’s on the ship’s bridge. As soon as I start fiddling with anything, they’ll know where we are, shut us down, and come for us.”

  “Can’t ya lock ‘em out?”

  “Not from here. The bridge controls can override any other system. I’m afraid we won’t be able to activate the main weapon before they have the chance to stop anything we set in motion.”

  “There must be something ya can do,” growled the pirate. “Yer supposed ta be smart! Ya said you knew the system. Can’t ya hack in, or do something to freeze their controls, or anything computer-savvy like that?”

  “I wish I could. I did not anticipate the Deathlord’s central control of their systems,” said Green. “My guess is they may have changed protocol after our escape.”

  “Ya telling me we’re completely browned here? That we broke into a Deathlord mothership for no reason?”

  Green shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I mean, I can think of a few possibilities that might work…”

  “Such as?”

  “I could probably try overriding the Deathlord’s central control, but it would require a complex algorithm to attack and take over the system, and I’m afraid I don’t have the time to build one from scratch.”

  Scallywag stopped. “Wait,” he said. “What did ya say?”

  “I’m afraid I don’t have the time—”

  “No, no, the other thing.”

  “Um… that it would require a complex algorithm to attack and take over the system—”

  “A complex algorithm,” mumbled Scallywag. As his mind raced to where he’d heard that before, his eyes rolled. “Crikey,” he grumbled.

  “What? What is it?” asked Green.

  “I think I know how ta get us control of the ship,” said Scallywag.

  “Well then, make haste dear fellow!” replied Green. “Time is short!”

  “I can’t believe I’m about ta do this,” muttered Scallywag, gritting his teeth and activating his comm unit.

  Back inside the Earthship, Heckubus was busy at an open terminal panel in the wall of the bridge, systematically poking through the technology that was fascinating, even for him. Just as he began contemplating how to use the new application of trans-plasmatic genesis he’d garnered from the ship to take over the sub-species of Hablaxus IV and rule them as their lord and master, a voice piped up from the intercom.

  “Robot,” said Scallywag. “Do ya read me?”

  “Since you are neither a data pad, nor a sequence of alpha-numeric symbols, I can only assume you’re asking me if I can hear you. In which case, the answer should be obvious.”

  “That algorithm o’ yours, the one you used on the Zeroastrian fleet,” said Scallywag. “Assuming it actually works - could it be used to take over the Deathlord mothership’s systems?”

  “Pah! Of course it works!” snapped Heckubus as he took his attention away from the Earthship’s systems for a moment to consider Scallywag’s request. “With a few modifications, I don’t see why it shouldn’t be able to take complete and utter control of the mothership. The Deathlord programming language isn’t that complicated once you break it down. Assuming one has a grasp of inter-species transcodes. Which I do.”

  “So can ya do it?” asked Scallywag.

  “Well, modifying the algorithm is not a problem. However, we’d need a way to upload it to the mothership’s central computer in order for it to work—”

  Suddenly, the Earthship’s systems beeped in reply. Heckubus quickly interfaced with them and began to chuckle. “Ah ha! It would seem the Earth vessel still has an active link with the mothership’s central computer. That should do nicely.”

  “Good,” said Scallywag. “Upload it, lock out every system but ours, and seal off all access around the ship. When the Deathlords find out what we’re up to, they’ll come at us hard. We don’t want any Dark Soldiers breaking down our door before we get a chance to escape.”

  “I will do so immediately,” replied the robot. “As soon as you admit I am the greatest evil genius in eight star systems.”

  Scallywag could feel an involuntary spasm in his brow. “What?” he grumbled.

  “Admit that I, Heckubus Moriarty, am the greatest evil genius in eight star systems, and I will unleash my diabolical algorithm to help you accomplish your mission.”

  “Ya gotta be kidding.”

  “You scoffed at my algorithm before, yet you need it now,” replied Heckubus. “This is what we advanced sentients like to call irony. Now, should you wish to use it, you must first admit that I am, indeed, everything I told you I was.”

  Scallywag gritted his teeth.

  “I’m waiting…” sang Heckubus.

  Scallywag tried to force the words out of his mouth, all the while wondering exactly how vital his mission actually was. Eventually, he was able to mumble…

  “Yer an evil genius.”

  “I’m sorry? I didn’t quite hear you…”

  “Yer an evil genius,” repeated Scallywag.

  “The greatest in eight star systems?”

  “Yes.”

  “Say iiiiiit…”

  “Yer the greatest evil genius in eight star systems,” sneered Scallywag.

  “Mwuahaha!” laughed Heckubus. “Now admit you’re a dimwitted primeval jackenape!”

  “Robot,” growled Scallywag into his comm. “Upload the bloody algorithm right now, or I swear to the Great White Umber, I will rip out yer gizzards and have ya converted into a toaster.”

  Heckubus immediately set one of his subprocessors on a master plan to unleash a dastardly plot for revenge, should Scallywag somehow manage to survive this mission and try to make good on his threat. After all, no one messes with Heckubus Moriarty, intergalactic evil genius. No doubt, should things work out in the pirate’s favor, he’d probably try and take sole credit for the use of the algorithm. Heckubus would have to set one of his subprocessors to begin planning sweet, sweet revenge for that, as well. But for now, he’d give the Visini what he wanted.

  “Very well,” sighed the robot as he established the data link to the Deathlord mothership and began sending his reprogrammed computer virus. “Uploading now.”

  “Thank you,” sneered Scallywag.

  “You are a dimwitted primeval jackenape, though,” replied the robot before signing off the comm. Scallywag clenched his fists as he felt another involuntary brow spasm come upon him.

  * * *

  After a long descent, the steps finally ended. By this point, they were enshrouded by darkness, and Anna could not see a thing. If it were not for the skin-crawling presence of the Deathlord beside her, she’d have felt like she were floating in an empty void. Then, she felt his cold, taloned hand wrap itself around her shoulder, and when he spoke, his voice echoed all around her as if there were a hundred of him.

  “Bring in the light,” he commanded.

  Before she had a chance to react, she felt that part of her mind attuned to Ancient technology seek out a connection to her surroundings. She tried to will it to stop, but she felt like she had no control, as though a part of her body, such as an arm or a leg, suddenly had a mind of its own and was operating without her guidance.

  She felt herself make connection to a strong presence somewhere in the darkness �
�� a familiar presence that was common with all forms of Ancient technology. Once plugged in, she felt herself give the command for illumination.

  Slowly, light began to break through the darkness far above them. It started as a single dot high above and grew, spreading out to reveal a majestic domed ceiling. As the light from the dome above spread, it grew stronger and brighter. The darkness around Anna and the Deathlord fled to reveal a huge room, the size of a stadium, in the shape of a perfect circle. In its center was a large empty area, surrounded by ascending amphitheater-style stone benches, which circled the room all the way up to the dome.

  There were no fancy decorations or architectural indulgences. Everything was made from what looked like simple sandstone. Everything except what stood before them in the center of the arena.

  Against the far wall, facing them, was a triangular outcropping that extended forward from the dome. The stone benches ended far enough away from the triangular wall so that it seemed no matter where a person sat, he would always have a view of it.

  On the face of the triangle was a large circular stone emblem – one that must have been two stories high and two stories wide. It was one solid, smooth slab of rock, its brilliant white color a sharp contrast to the dull yellow of the structures surrounding it. At its center was an ornate carving of an eye.

  Anna could feel her heart quicken as she looked at the symbol, as though the eye were alive, aware, and gazing right at her.

  “You know what this is,” said the Deathlord. It was not a question.

  “A Great Seal of the Ancients,” replied Anna.

  Zarrod began to walk down the stairs toward the central area before the seal. Anna followed.

  “A long time ago, your ancestors filled this room and channeled their collective heresies into one of their infernal creations, sealing it off with this abomination after constructing the prison we find ourselves on.” Zarrod approached the seal and gazed up at it; then he turned away as if the carving on its face disturbed him. “Once the seal is broken, the quantum energy that powers this planet will escape, and the defenses that the Heretics created will wither and die.”