‘I know, over twenty years,’ I mused tentatively, and she smiled, us both knowing full well how long it had been.
‘I just wish it was under better circumstances,’ she continued, before any thoughts of the past could take hold. ‘Thank you for coming back to help. Let’s meet the others who are helping this morning.’
Holly introduced me to the three other people she was with. I nodded politely, but failed to retain their names. After the solemn introductions were complete, Holly’s tone changed, her mind back on the business of finding Jamie. Her eyes fixed on the map that had been pinned flat on the table with mugs of tea.
‘So, today we are sweeping west of the mine and then north towards the lake. It’s a small search area, but the woodland is dense. So we move slow, take our time. The forecast isn’t good and it’ll likely get wet out there, so I don’t want anyone getting hurt.’ The group nodded, and I couldn’t help but feel that, given their advanced ages, we would be moving slow regardless of the terrain. ‘We should come out around here,’ she said, pointing to a spot on the map, close to the lane. ‘As always, thank you for taking the time to help. If you see anything at all, no matter how small, please tell me. I’d rather us be wrong several times than miss something that might tell us where he is.’
The group nodded and began to move, putting on rucksacks and zipping up coats. I felt fear begin to creep into my bones. We were about to go back into those woods. Next to the others, all wearing expensive-looking hiking kit, I felt entirely underdressed in my thin Topshop coat and ankle boots. I wanted to say something about being unprepared, trying to find a way to get out of the search, but as I began to open my mouth, Holly spoke.
‘OK, let’s go,’ Holly said decisively as she headed towards the door. Breaking into a jog, I caught up as she headed out into the murky winter air.
‘Holly, where are the police?’
‘There are no police, it’s just us.’
‘But I thought Jamie was a missing person?’
‘He is.’
‘So then why…’
‘This isn’t the first time Jamie has gone missing.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘For many years now, Jamie has struggled with his mental health; he has down times. Understandably,’ she added quietly, but loud enough for us both to know I had heard her and understood. ‘He always comes back, sometimes it’s a day or two, sometimes it’s a week. In 2008, he disappeared for nearly a month.’
‘2008,’ I said, a statement rather than a question.
‘Yep, July 2008. Of course, the police are looking for him, as they always do when someone calls. He’s vulnerable, so they do take it seriously.’
‘So why aren’t they here?’
‘Because Jamie leaves the village, usually. So, the police use what resources they have to search through CCTV at train and bus stations to identify where he is. Normally, he comes home before they find him anyway.’
‘So, if he has done this before…’ I didn’t finish my sentence. I couldn’t – it was insensitive, unkind.
‘Why was it mentioned in the paper, why did I message you to tell you he had disappeared?’ she finished.
‘Yes,’ I said, ashamed. ‘Sorry.’
‘It’s OK, I guess there’s a lot going on in your head being back here.’
‘You could say that.’ I tried to smile, but the woods were drawing ever closer.
‘Jamie usually leaves a note, saying he needs time out. Saying that it’s all too much. The village, the mine, the past. If I’m honest, we can usually see it coming. He goes quiet, he starts to disengage, doesn’t turn up for work, barely leaves the house, that sort of thing. But he was in good spirits the day before. He was like the old Jamie you remember when you think of him.’ She stopped walking and turned to face me, a graveness in her eyes. ‘There was no note, no explanation. Jamie’s just vanished.’
I let her go ahead of me, the three others followed closely, putting me at the back of the small search party. They walked in unison, unafraid of being in the woods. Above them, the clouds grew darker still, threatening to burst at any moment.
‘Are you OK, Neve?’ Holly called back when she saw I had stopped.
‘Yes, fine.’ I began to walk again. She didn’t say it, she didn’t need to, but I could see in her eyes that she was worried that what was happening now was a part of something linked to the ghosts from our past.
Chapter 17
June 1998
Three weeks before…
The exams were over, the stress had been lifted, and with the freedom that came with being sixteen and temporarily out of education, life was good. The group had drifted apart during that stressful exam time. But now it was over, they were as close as ever. They knocked on one another’s doors and wandered the nearly deserted streets in the hot summer evenings. And they came to their hut every night. Just to hang out, smoke cigarettes, stave off boredom with silly games. Then, they went home at the time stated by the grown-ups and woke late the next day to begin the process again.
This night was different, though. If anyone asked whose idea it was to have an impromptu post-exam party at the hut, no one would know the answer; it had just happened. The evening started tame. A few drinks, and conversations about the future. It felt like old times, more innocent times. But as the evening progressed, the conversations quietened to intimate exchanges in smaller groups. Baz and Michael were chatting with Georgia about their misadventures when stoned, and she giggled between them, enjoying the attention they were giving her. Georgia wore her hair down, which was something she rarely did. At first, Neve thought it was for attention, but when she swished it, exposing her neck, there were small finger-shaped bruises close to her ear. Neve didn’t mention them to Chloe as they chatted, over a cigarette. Instead their topic was boys, and Neve was trying to steer the conversation in the direction of Jamie. Jamie himself sat on the other side of the small hut, closest to the entrance hatch with Holly. They were making small talk about next year. Holly was telling Jamie about how she wanted to study to be a barrister; he was genuinely interested in what it took to become one, and enjoyed their light, easy conversation. But still he kept an eye on Neve across the room, wondering if she and Chloe were talking about him.
Outside, the warm summer day had finally given way to night and the wind, which was calm when the sun was up, began to stir. It moaned as it whipped around the mine. They all heard it, but Baz, Michael and Georgia didn’t seem to pay it any attention. As it howled, it almost sounded like a person calling out. The hatch door blew open, hitting Jamie on the arm, making him jump.
‘That’s freaky,’ Jamie whispered to Holly, not wanting to be heard.
‘I hate this place; it gives me the creeps.’
‘Me too,’ he admitted, making her smile; she wasn’t alone in her thoughts.
The wind moaned again, louder, like it was directly overhead, like the crying voices were above them, and this time, everyone stopped talking, Neve turned down the radio. For a moment, they all looked up, listening.
Waiting.
There was a thud from outside the hut – a bang, like a clenched fist, on the sheet of metal that was once the security hut window. Everyone jumped, Chloe let out a little squeal. Baz placed a finger to his lips to silence the group.
‘Someone is outside. No one move,’ he whispered.
They all nodded, afraid that if he was right, they would all be in a lot of trouble for trespassing.
‘Check outside,’ Baz mouthed, pointing animatedly towards the boys. Jamie and Michael crawled to either side of the hut, pressed their faces to the holes that Michael had cut with a penknife, to see outside. The group looked on silence. Above them, the wind howled again, breathing over them, moaning. Holly had tears in her eyes, and as Jamie had moved, she was isolated in one corner of the hut, trying not to let the panic that was rising inside her take over.
‘I can’t see anything,’ Jamie whispered, moving away from the ho
le in the wall, and closer to Neve, making Holly feel even more exposed.
‘Me neither,’ Michael said, also moving away. The group was now in the centre of the hut, as if at any moment the walls would fall, and someone would grab them. ‘Someone should check.’
Everyone agreed, but no one volunteered to crawl out of the hut to look around. Finally, Baz exhaled and said he would go. He made a point of saying it directly to Chloe, and she nodded appreciatively. He crept past Holly, who was doing her best to hide the fact she was now crying, and crawled out of the hatch. Inside the group waited, listening as a twig snapped under his foot, and Michael saw his shadow pass the hole in the wall. And then, silence. The group looked from one to the other, straining to hear anything.
‘Baz?’ Michael whispered towards the wall where he last heard his friend. ‘Baz?’
The group all looked the same way, towards what was once the security hut window. Neve felt herself leaning in, dragging everyone with her until the whole group were huddled close together, inches from the sheet of metal. Then, another huge bang close to their faces, followed by a deafening scream – Baz’s scream. The group panicked, Holly began to sob, Michael started yelling incoherently, and Jamie shouted for everyone to get out as fast as they could. The group scrambled over one another to leave the hut, terrified that they would be boxed in if they didn’t.
As Chloe opened the hatch, there was the shape of a person. She screamed and stumbled backwards into Michael – and in crawled Baz, laughing at his own wickedness.
‘Fucking hell, Baz, you prick!’
‘You should have seen your faces,’ he laughed.
‘Not funny, Baz, I nearly had a heart attack,’ Chloe said.
‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself,’ he chuckled.
‘Knob,’ Neve laughed, with a playful punch in the arm.
Jamie didn’t say anything, he smiled, but even in the low light they could see his skin was washed out white. Holly wiped tears from her eyes. She couldn’t bring herself to find it funny.
‘Michael, you shit your pants,’ Baz said, brushing past Holly.
‘Piss off,’ he laughed. ‘I’m stoned.’
‘What was it? The bang?’ Georgia asked, her breathing surprisingly calm, considering. Neve noticed it, and wondered what was really going on in Georgia’s life that made her so unafraid at that moment.
‘A branch. It must have fallen from a tree in the wind. Fuck, that was too funny. You lot are so jumpy.’
‘Can you blame us? This place…’ was all Holly could say before choking on a sob.
‘What, the ghosts of the mine?’ Baz said, dismissively. ‘They’re just stories told to us as kids to wind us up. None of it’s true.’
‘My dad used to tell me one from when my granddad worked down there,’ Jamie started, not looking at anyone in particular. ‘He said that when my granddad was young, back in the Fifties, a man he worked with was trapped under a fallen rock in one of the deepest tunnels. His leg was pinned, he couldn’t move. He had his pick-axe, and near him, a sheet of iron that was the collapsed support beam. He banged and banged on it until they found him. They could see him through a small gap in the fallen boulders, but they couldn’t reach him. He tried to hammer the rock, dig himself out, but it was no use. It took them two weeks to dig through, and by that time he was dead.’
‘That’s messed up,’ Michael said. ‘Imagine dying like that.’
‘That’s not the end of the story,’ Jamie continued, his pale face captured in the low candlelight, making him look ghostly. ‘They couldn’t free him from the rubble, so they blocked his body in, laying him to rest hundreds of feet down the mine.’
The group didn’t speak but waited for Jamie to continue. ‘My granddad said after that day, when they worked in the dark corners of the mine, they could hear tapping, like a hand pick chipping into the rock. And on the night shifts, he swore he could hear his work friend calling through the narrow tunnels, begging to be freed.’
‘Bullshit,’ Baz said, dismissing Jamie’s story.
‘Shut up, Baz,’ Neve said. ‘Did that really happen?’
‘I didn’t believe it, at first, I thought it was my dad trying to spook me, but I looked it up – it happened. My granddad was one of the men who buried him.’
‘Fuck!’
‘The day he retired, my granddad went down, as close as he could to where he lay, and called out to him, asking if he was still there.’
‘Did he hear a voice?’ Chloe hung on every word.
‘No, but he did hear the sound of metal hitting metal, the same sound he made when alive and begging for help.’
‘You think he’s still down there? Wanting to be freed?’
‘I don’t know,’ he continued, unable to hold anyone’s eye. ‘What I do know is that once my granddad retired, he would walk around the mine – probably missing the place, like most do – and at night, he would hear that sound of metal on metal. He heard it until the day he died.’ Looking up he smiled at the group, their faces full of uncertainty. ‘Still, probably all bullshit, right?’
His question was greeted by silence. Baz then declared that they all needed a drink to calm their nerves and insisted everyone grab another bottle. Everyone agreed, and turned the radio back on. After a while the adrenaline of Baz’s prank and talk of ghosts was replaced with normal conversation. But Holly, who hadn’t been able to shake off her feeling of dread, said she wanted to leave and asked if someone would walk her back. Jamie said he would, which made Neve feel jealous and proud all at once.
As she said her goodbyes, Baz was pulling out a bag of white powder, just like he had done two weeks before. Holly didn’t like drugs and could just about tolerate that Baz and Michael smoked weed. Baz offered it around the table. Jamie stated he wouldn’t do it, and she found comfort in that some of her friends wouldn’t change. The most troubling thing for her wasn’t that Baz and Michael had taken it and would do so again tonight; what truly worried her was Georgia. She had shown interest, asked questions, and as Holly made her excuses and ducked under the hatch door to leave, she saw her friend bend down over the coffee table with a rolled-up fiver and snort the white powder.
Jamie returned after ten minutes, announcing himself before crawling through the hut.
‘Did she get home OK?’ Neve asked, but only because she felt someone should.
‘Yeah, she was freaked out. I kinda get it. Walking back down the lane on my own… well, let’s just say, I’ll not be doing that again,’ he joked, but Neve could see he was really quite afraid.
‘She’s always freaking out about something; I wonder why we hang out with her,’ Georgia said – a question no one seemed keen to answer. She turned up the music, a mix tape of all of the hits from the previous summer. The music wasn’t to everyone’s taste but they all bopped along happily enough. Chloe, Neve and Jamie sat on the beanbags drinking quietly, talking about nothing and everything, whilst Michael tidied around them frantically, the speed he had snorted just after Georgia pumping though his veins and causing him to sweat profusely.
‘Michael, you don’t have to tidy around us,’ said Chloe, laughing at him.
‘Gotta keep this place tip top,’ he said, as he began to crawl through the hatch to empty the full ashtrays. ‘Gotta look after it.’
Georgia and Baz were not much better; they stood either side of the coffee table, shifting from one foot to the other, talking a thousand miles an hour. Even in the low light, Neve could see their pupils were dilated. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed in Georgia; they weren’t best friends, not like herself and Chloe, but in primary school they had been very close. And Neve knew more than most about how bad things had been in her household back then. Georgia had a brother called Martin who was fifteen years older than she was. When they were in year three at school, Martin was arrested for possession with intent to supply, and was sent to prison. Neve remembered how it broke Georgia’s heart to not see her brother, and yet here she was, t
rying to impress Baz.
‘Guys,’ said Michael as he crept back in from outside. No one paid any attention to him. ‘Guys!’ he said, louder, panic on his face.
‘What? Is someone coming?’ asked Jamie, jumping up, the night’s events still fresh.
‘No.’
‘Then what is it?’
‘It’s nothing, he’s high,’ said Baz quickly.
‘I’ve just seen someone. I’ve just seen someone near the mine.’
‘What?’ said Georgia. ‘No, we can’t be found, my dad will kill me.’
‘We won’t be found, he’s just high,’ reiterated Baz.
‘I swear, someone is moving around outside the mine entrance.’
‘Maybe it’s Jamie’s ghost,’ mocked Baz.
‘Stop fucking around. Both of you,’ said Jamie.
‘I’m not messing here,’ continued Michael. ‘I really did see someone.’
‘Just chill out, Michael.’
‘I’ll take a look,’ said Chloe getting to her feet – if anything, just to calm down Michael who looked like he was about to hyperventilate.
Crawling outside the hut, Chloe moved to the corner and stood with her back pressed against the old granite wall, looking towards the mine. Michael came to join her, pointing to the entrance, its wide opening like a mouth, dark and terrifying.
‘Michael, I can’t see anyone.’
‘I promise you, there is someone there.’
‘Maybe, Michael, you’ve just overdone it.’
‘Chloe, I know I’m high, but I promise you someone is there.’
‘Michael, drugs do funny things to your—’
She didn’t finish her sentence, for she saw movement coming from the direction of the mine. A solitary figure limped out from the dark, a small torch shining onto the ground. And despite the mine being hundreds of metres away, and the night making it impossible for Chloe to be seen, she ducked down and held her breath.
‘Shit. There is someone there.’
‘I told you.’
‘Who is it? How’d they get in?’
‘They can’t.’
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