I knew how warm it was down there but didn’t say.
He rambled on as we walked into ever-thickening undergrowth, and I knew why – he was scared of finding something. I wondered if he was also scared of what it meant if he didn’t find anything. He didn’t mention anything to do with the summer of 1998, and I thought maybe what happened back then was really something confined to the pages of a history book. Holly had changed, Michael too. Maybe things had finally moved on.
The small talk stopped as soon as we hit the woods. We needed to listen, to hear anything that didn’t belong in nature, in the hope we would find Jamie. If I was honest, I didn’t know why they wanted to search for him in the woods. If he had decided to take time away, wouldn’t he be away from the village itself? I couldn’t help thinking I was missing something. We walked slowly, methodically, for about half an hour, climbing over fallen trees and fighting through thick bushes that had refused to die back with winter, and despite the woods being dense, we kept parallel to the main road, meaning I could see the street lights at all times, and could hear when a car drove by. The bank of earth was too high to see much else. I guess the idea was that trees would create a wall that would stretch higher than the mine headstocks, hiding it from sight. It didn’t work. The mine would always dominate this place.
Derrick stopped walking and awkwardly stated he needed to make a call of nature, so I stepped away, as he nipped behind a tree.
I looked towards the street lights, noticing one was flickering, its old filament bulb ready to burn out. To my right the headlights of a car bled over the bank, catching the shape of something standing on its brow. The car sped past, hiding whatever was there from plain sight. I only saw it for a spilt second, and although I couldn’t be sure, I felt like I’d seen the shape of a person. And I couldn’t help feeling he was watching.
‘Sorry about that,’ Derrick said behind me, making me jump.
‘No, it’s fine. Shall we carry on?’ I said, moving quickly towards him.
I kept as close as I could to him. The trees around us started to leak darkness. It felt like things were hiding within – if I believed in ghosts, I might have felt more afraid.
‘Derrick, are you there?’ the radio squawked, Holly on the other end.
‘Yes, we’re here.’
‘We need you on the main footpath in Vicar Water Country Park,’ she said, and I could tell she was panicked.
‘OK, we’re on our way.’
‘Be quick, Michael – I – we think we’ve found something.’
Derrick and I ran towards the country park. Despite him being a lot older than me, he was considerably fitter as he jumped over fallen trees and ploughed his way through thick bushes. Eventually, we cleared a gravel footpath that – if we walked left – would have taken us back to the exact point we’d stepped into the woods. To our right – far off in the distance – two torch lights shone. I knew exactly where they stood, I knew the place very well indeed. It was the spot where Jamie and I first kissed in the summer of 1998.
I nearly said something to Derrick, who looked desperate as we ran towards Holly and Michael. Holly lifted the torch to see us, the beam temporarily blinding me. She apologised, and lowered it, catching Michael in her beam before it went back to the floor. In that split second of seeing Michael’s face, I thought he had seen a ghost.
‘What is it? What have you found?’ Derrick asked, not even trying to hide the fear from his voice.
Without saying anything, Michael lowered his torch to the floor. It caught the edge of the seat where I could see JH & NC 4 EVA carved into the wood. Under a bench lay a light grey hooded jumper, covered in blood. Derrick stumbled backwards, covering his mouth.
I looked back at Holly, and then to Michael for an explanation, but they returned my questioning blankly. It wasn’t just that we had found Jamie’s jumper covered in blood. Chloe’s had been found in exactly the same way.
‘I’ll call the police,’ Holly said quietly, not for the first time in her life.
Chapter 21
24th November 2019
Morning
Last night, when we found the top, Holly, Michael and I shared a knowing look, that people’s worst fears – my worst fears – had been confirmed. Jamie was dead. Now, I wasn’t so convinced – it wasn’t even confirmed we had found Jamie’s top. Really, we had jumped to that conclusion based on what we had experienced before. It had to be a coincidence, it had to, because there is no way what we found last night has anything to do with Chloe. She vanished a lifetime ago.
Getting out of bed, I looked out of the window to see the sun trying but failing to break through the dark, fast-moving clouds. It looked like one of those days where it was always just about to get dark. I needed to move, ring the doctor and then plan my escape. My phone had died sometime in the night, so I plugged it in to charge, then I concentrated on my muddy memories and tried to put yesterday together coherently.
Holly radioed to say she and Michael had found a top. The police were called, we waited, they took statements then told us to go home, they would be in touch. Instead Holly said she needed a drink – no, wait, I said that. Derrick took us back to The Miners’ Arms, and we had a few drinks. I must have drunk too much, as the rest is foggy. I recall others there, not just Holly, Michael and Derrick. I can’t remember who. I can’t remember how I got back to Dad’s either. It seemed, halfway through the night, my memories just vanished.
Beside me, the phone screen lit up as it came to life. A few more seconds and I’d be able to see the time, and check if Holly had messaged any update.
Eventually, the home screen appeared and a text message came through. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it was from Oliver. Hovering my thumb over the screen I hestitated before tapping it. I didn’t know what to expect. What I saw confused me:
Neve, I don’t appreciate you calling me over and over in the night. Take the hint, please, just leave me alone.
I didn’t understand, I’d not contacted him, had I? Checking my call log, I choked on my own breath. At the very top was Oliver, and I had called him eighteen times. Tapping the information symbol, I learnt I had called him that many times in an eleven-minute window between 1.18 a.m.–1.29 a.m.
‘Oh Neve, for fuck’s sake,’ I said out loud, too hungover to scream, too drained to sound anything other than numb.
I couldn’t believe I had rung him. OK, that wasn’t true. I could believe it, but eighteen times in eleven minutes? It didn’t exactly scream, ‘Let’s talk it through, maybe we do have a future.’ Looking at the message again, I tried to find something hidden within its words. But there was just a coldness I’d not heard from Oliver before. Then again, people change, I knew that more than most. I went to close my messages, but there was another message under Oliver’s, one from Esther.
Hey, how is everything? Are you enjoying the time off?
She didn’t ask how I was, and more importantly, she said nothing about the village. Which meant that news of what had happened hadn’t broken out yet. But I knew it would soon. I almost texted her back, but in that moment, I knew I needed to hear her voice. She was the closest thing to family. Closer than my own blood – my dad – and I pined for that safe feeling. Her mobile ran three times before she picked up.
‘Hey, Neve! How are you?’
‘I’m all right.’ My voice was dry and cracking.
‘You sound rough,’ she said, and I couldn’t tell if she was smiling or concerned.
‘It’s been a weird couple of days,’ I said honestly. ‘How is everything? Is Tilly OK? How’s The Tea Tree?’
Esther updated me on her life, and said the shop was reopening today, a grand unveiling at noon. Esther told me how the local community had gathered round her in support. She had friends, their relatives and their friends help with the clean-up and restocking. And apparently the grand reopening was going to be busy, with everyone involved coming to support. Despite my hangover, I beamed. It was the best possible news.
Esther would do well, and the guilt of my messing up and running away started to fade.
‘So, have you been anywhere nice?’ she asked.
‘You could say that.’
‘OK?’
‘I’m home.’
‘So, just chilling in the flat a bit, it sounds lush…’
‘No, Esther, I’m home. I’m back in the village.’
There was a pause. Esther knew more than most about my life in this place. She knew about Chloe, and on a night when she visited me in hospital after I dropped out of uni, she knew about the Drifter.
‘Neve, why are you back there?’
‘One of my old friends, he’s gone missing.’
I heard her take a short, sharp breath.
‘I think I’m losing it again,’ I said quietly.
‘You’re not, and anyway, you never lost it before.’
‘Since coming back, I keep seeing him.’
‘Who?’
‘The Drifter.’
There was a silence after I spoke those two familiar, haunting words. Saying it out loud felt strangely settling. The words had been lifted from a dark corner in my head and were out in the world. And I’m glad it was Esther I said them to. I knew she wouldn’t judge, belittle, think I was making it up. I knew she would believe me.
‘Have you told anyone?’
‘Only you.’
‘OK, keep it that way.’
‘Because I’m mad?’
‘Because it will scare people there. You always said how the Drifter caused so much tension. Don’t speak of him yet, it will only do the same again, and then they’ll… Have they found your friend?’
‘They found a top, a bloodstained top, just like…’ I didn’t finish my sentence; I didn’t need to.
‘Neve, I think you should leave.’
‘I can’t. I want to, I really do, but I can’t. Not yet.’
‘Neve…’
‘But I promise, as soon as I’ve sorted a few more things. I’m leaving. I promise.’
‘OK, listen, but please can you touch base with me?’
‘I will.’
‘Every day.’
‘OK.’
‘Promise.’
‘I promise, I’ll ring or message.’
‘Every day.’
‘Yes, Esther, every day.’
‘All right.’
‘I should go,’ I said, not wanting to, but knowing I should. Esther’s concern made me feel guilty for taking up yet more of her time. ‘And no doubt you have lots to do today?’
‘Yeah,’ she agreed with a laugh. ‘Call me if you need me.’
‘I will, thanks, Esther.’
Esther reassured me it was OK, and hung up. I cradled the phone to my ear for a little longer, sucking in the last of her kindness and understanding. As soon as I did what I needed to do here, I would go home, buy a nice bottle of wine and go to Esther’s. I would drink moderately and be honest with how I’m feeling about everything – about life, about Oliver and home. I would tell her I was scared I was regressing back to that girl she visited in hospital once before.
First, I had to resolve what was happening here. Going into the Facebook messenger app I saw Holly had been in touch. Her message made my blood run cold. All of that warmth and security I had rushing though me, thanks to Esther, drained out of my body. Holly’s message said that the police were confident it was Jamie’s blood that we found last night. And that, as of an hour ago, they still hadn’t found him. She also asked if I would meet with everyone later. She didn’t say who she meant by ‘everyone’. But I knew.
Grabbing a quick shower, I tried to wash away the unease I had felt since arriving back in the village. An unease that was growing with each passing minute. As the tepid water ran over my scalp, making the cut from the wing mirror sting, I planned my day. I needed to get Dad to the doctor, that was my priority, then I needed to see Holly and ‘everyone’ and once we’d raked over the past once more, I would leave. I didn’t care how much pressure would be put on me to stay: I did it once, I could do it again.
Once dressed, I made my way downstairs, the thumping in my head intensifying with each heavy, clumsy footstep. Reaching the bottom, I looked into the lounge: Dad’s chair was empty. Walking through into the kitchen I looked into the garden, in case there as a repeat of the previous morning, but there was no sign of him there either. There was, however, a scribbled note next to the kettle. Dad’s handwriting, saying the doctor called this morning, and asked him to come in for 8.30 a.m. Maybe Dad had managed to get through yesterday when I was out? It was only 8.44 a.m. I must have only just missed him – perhaps him closing the front door on his way out was what startled me awake. I felt I needed to be with Dad when the doctor was talking to him, for support, but also, because I knew if I didn’t hear what he or she had to say with my own ears, I’d never know what was going on. I grabbed my coat and headed out.
As I made my way down towards the village, I couldn’t help noticing the roads seemed busier. The quiet, stagnant feel of the place was gone, replaced with something I recalled from years ago. As I turned onto the main road, I could see people milling around, strangers waiting to find out more details about what we discovered last night, or locals waiting for their fifteen minutes of fame. There was a constant ebb and flow, a sense of the place coming back to life again. Seeing people this way – excited, speculative, quick to spread rumours – renewed my resolve.
I had no intention of staying a second longer than I absolutely needed to. I didn’t want to be dragged back in speculation from two decades before. I wanted to be in my bed in London tonight, putting all of this behind me. I would delete Holly from Facebook, change my number if I needed to, focus only on helping Esther with our business, which was hopefully turning a corner. I knew it was awful to think that way, I knew it was shallow and I was being a coward. Something had happened to Jamie, but I didn’t know who he was anymore. I didn’t know who anyone was anymore.
I opened the doctor’s surgery door and made my way to the desk. I tried to smile, but wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all the receptionist who removed her glasses to hold my gaze.
‘May I help you?’ she asked, her tone clipped.
‘Yes, could you tell me which doctor Sean Chambers is with, please.’
‘Oh, I’m afraid I can’t, it’s doctor – patient confidentiality. If you would like to take a seat, I’m sure he will be out soon.’ She smiled.
‘No, you see, I should be in there with him. He gets confused.’
‘I’m really sorry. I can’t,’ she said, still smiling.
‘Please,’ I tried again, raising my voice a little, causing the few waiting patients to turn in their chairs and look disapprovingly at me.
‘Neve.’
I turned to see a wide man standing in the doorway of the nearest doctor’s office. He smiled and gestured for me to come in. Only when I was close could I tell it was someone I knew.
‘Baz?’
He looked around, embarrassed, hoping other patients hadn’t heard him being referred to by his teenage name. ‘It’s Barry now. Come in, Neve, your dad is in here.’ He waved back to the receptionist who dropped her smile and replaced her glasses.
‘You’re his doctor?”
‘Yes,’ he said with a laugh.
‘I had no idea,’ I said, stepping past him into his office. ‘Hi, Dad,’ I smiled.
‘Hello, love,’ he replied, and I couldn’t help but feel the warmth of it. He had not called me love in a very long time.
‘Please, sit down. I was just talking with your dad about the concerns you raised with me last night.’
‘Concerns I raised?’
‘We met, in the pub after…’ he hesitated.
‘Did we?’
He looked at me, a small smile, as if to say, ‘Yes, we did and yes, Neve, you were very drunk.’ Thankfully, he didn’t articulate it, but continued in his professional manner. ‘You spoke of your concern, and that’s why
we are here. So, Mr Chambers, let’s continue. You said you’ve been noticing things for the last few months, what sort of things?’
‘Well,’ Dad started quietly, uneasy with what he needed to say. ‘Things like what happened yesterday, you know, with the cooker,’ he said, looking at me.
‘What happened with the cooker?’
‘Dad put some food in the oven and forgot about it. I came home and the house was filled with smoke.’
‘I see. Have there been any other instances?’
‘Well.’ Dad shifted in his seat, cleared his throat. Balled his hands into a fist on his lap. ‘Sometimes, I’ll wake up in the morning and the back door is open, but I was sure I closed it and locked it the day before. And I keep misplacing things like keys. They always turn up, just not where I remember leaving them.’
‘And how are you sleeping?’
‘Well, I sleep at night, but I’m sleeping more in the day too. And sometimes, I’ll swear it’s early in the day, but it’s later, and I lose track of where the time has gone.’
‘I think what we need to do is run some tests.’
‘What kind of tests?’ I asked.
‘They vary, we need to take some bloods to check liver function, kidney function, that sort of thing. We will also schedule you a mental ability test.’
‘I see,’ said Dad, defeated.
‘Mr Chambers, I know you’re assuming the worst. Co-ordination and memory issues aren’t just confined to what we automatically think of.’
Dark Corners Page 10